Is it ok to ask for credit score/report before first date
Replies
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First linkin park now this1
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Miss Wine, I have a credit score north of 800 and plenty of money in the bank
I need proof...damn wine0 -
In my eyes no.
Then, it's personal to what matters to you.
Anybody that asked me this wouldn't have even got through the first date.
It's an incredibly personal thing (finances).
I own a company and don't do bad for myself so, credit wise I'm fine but asking about it - that raises some serious flags to me!3 -
mrwineismybf wrote: »Friend and i discussed this and although im not into money it may help weed out some weirdos...thoughts?
Start small then work your way up the scale of severity, like do they have a job, still live with their parents, ever been convicted of a felony or are they on a sexual offender list somewhere. Credit scores come later!1 -
Definitely not the first date. At some point in the relationship, yes.0
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browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Definitely not the first date. At some point in the relationship, yes.
Just adding in here.
If you're already with somebody and you get on with them. Work as a couple.
Overcome new relationship barriers and there doesn't seem to be any obstacles.
Why would you then wish to credit check them?
Personally I've never shared my credit details with anybody I've ever been with.
Even now, finances don't make or break a relationship for me.
If you credit checked me a few years ago when I was establishing my business and had a few issues it would look terrible.
Now, well. I don't need to worry, put it that way.
So, a credit check really doesn't tell you anything about anybody.
I'd want somebody I'm with to be with me wether I was catching a bus to work at a market stall or driving a Porsche to get to my office.
Of course, this is simply my opinion.
My prerequisites are all fitness and aesthetically based.. each to their own!4 -
AdamAthletic wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Definitely not the first date. At some point in the relationship, yes.
Just adding in here.
If you're already with somebody and you get on with them. Work as a couple.
Overcome new relationship barriers and there doesn't seem to be any obstacles.
Why would you then wish to credit check them?
Personally I've never shared my credit details with anybody I've ever been with.
Even now, finances don't make or break a relationship for me.
If you credit checked me a few years ago when I was establishing my business and had a few issues it would look terrible.
Now, well. I don't need to worry, put it that way.
So, a credit check really doesn't tell you anything about anybody.
I'd want somebody I'm with to be with me wether I was catching a bus to work at a market stall or driving a Porsche to get to my office.
Of course, this is simply my opinion.
My prerequisites are all fitness and aesthetically based.. each to their own!
Some won't for instance rent an apartment/house, to someone with bad credit; so it might be important when they're seeking to reside together.0 -
Hell, that wouldn't work. I know plenty of weirdos with great credit scores.... as a matter of fact, mine is pretty impressive and according to my wife I'm plenty weird. lol1
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BattleRopes wrote: »AdamAthletic wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Definitely not the first date. At some point in the relationship, yes.
Just adding in here.
If you're already with somebody and you get on with them. Work as a couple.
Overcome new relationship barriers and there doesn't seem to be any obstacles.
Why would you then wish to credit check them?
Personally I've never shared my credit details with anybody I've ever been with.
Even now, finances don't make or break a relationship for me.
If you credit checked me a few years ago when I was establishing my business and had a few issues it would look terrible.
Now, well. I don't need to worry, put it that way.
So, a credit check really doesn't tell you anything about anybody.
I'd want somebody I'm with to be with me wether I was catching a bus to work at a market stall or driving a Porsche to get to my office.
Of course, this is simply my opinion.
My prerequisites are all fitness and aesthetically based.. each to their own!
Some won't for instance rent an apartment/house, to someone with bad credit; so it might be important when they're seeking to reside together.
Most will take a guarantor/deposit in this case (source - my family own a large real estate business. I've been surrounded by the property business all of my life).
I think that if you come to the conclusion that you're not prepared to look for a house that allows you both to live together - in every eventuality, you're probably not with the right person.
I know that if I were looking for a house to rent and credit score was an issue, there are plenty landlords that would happily take my money even if a couple decided not to.
Ultimately, it's a small obstacle to overcome - added to the fact that credit scores change, all the time!
The maximum time any report can stay on one is 6 years, meaning that by the time you're ready to move in together - the situation could be completely different.1 -
Each to their own, but if anyone ever wanted to pull my credit report on a first date I would run far and fast. I can't imagine a more stick-up-the-youknowwhat kind of thing to demand so early on. Ew!2
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AdamAthletic wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »AdamAthletic wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Definitely not the first date. At some point in the relationship, yes.
Just adding in here.
If you're already with somebody and you get on with them. Work as a couple.
Overcome new relationship barriers and there doesn't seem to be any obstacles.
Why would you then wish to credit check them?
Personally I've never shared my credit details with anybody I've ever been with.
Even now, finances don't make or break a relationship for me.
If you credit checked me a few years ago when I was establishing my business and had a few issues it would look terrible.
Now, well. I don't need to worry, put it that way.
So, a credit check really doesn't tell you anything about anybody.
I'd want somebody I'm with to be with me wether I was catching a bus to work at a market stall or driving a Porsche to get to my office.
Of course, this is simply my opinion.
My prerequisites are all fitness and aesthetically based.. each to their own!
Some won't for instance rent an apartment/house, to someone with bad credit; so it might be important when they're seeking to reside together.
Most will take a guarantor/deposit in this case (source - my family own a large real estate business. I've been surrounded by the property business all of my life).
I think that if you come to the conclusion that you're not prepared to look for a house that allows you both to live together - in every eventuality, you're probably not with the right person.
I know that if I were looking for a house to rent and credit score was an issue, there are plenty landlords that would happily take my money even if a couple decided not to.
Ultimately, it's a small obstacle to overcome - added to the fact that credit scores change, all the time!
The maximum time any report can stay on one is 6 years, meaning that by the time you're ready to move in together - the situation could be completely different.
That's the jist of it, for me. I guess I'm just an old sappy romantic type, but I seriously can't imagine refusing the possibility of a really good relationship because of some poor credit decisions in their past. "Sure, he's kind and funny and he treats me really well and we have amazing chemistry, but I just don't know - he has a few too many credit cards and no mortgage..." I just don't get that.1 -
Hmm, I don't know-do you want the date to actually show up? 0
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I think that's boiling it down too much, as others have stated it's not the only indicator of being financially responsible. However, I think it's perfectly acceptable to include a financial component into match criterion if the aspiration is for a long-term relationship. Don't be offended if you're held to similar criteria though.0
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mrwineismybf wrote: »Friend and i discussed this and although im not into money it may help weed out some weirdos...thoughts?
Well, you would BE the weirdo in this situation, so I agree it would help weed out some weirdos.2 -
TeacupsAndToning wrote: »If someone asked me for my credit score before the first date I'd be concerned that theirs is either extraordinarily bad and they only want me for my excellent credit or the date is just a ruse to get a free dinner.
You and I must share the same brain because I had the exact same thought.
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AdamAthletic wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »AdamAthletic wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Definitely not the first date. At some point in the relationship, yes.
Just adding in here.
If you're already with somebody and you get on with them. Work as a couple.
Overcome new relationship barriers and there doesn't seem to be any obstacles.
Why would you then wish to credit check them?
Personally I've never shared my credit details with anybody I've ever been with.
Even now, finances don't make or break a relationship for me.
If you credit checked me a few years ago when I was establishing my business and had a few issues it would look terrible.
Now, well. I don't need to worry, put it that way.
So, a credit check really doesn't tell you anything about anybody.
I'd want somebody I'm with to be with me wether I was catching a bus to work at a market stall or driving a Porsche to get to my office.
Of course, this is simply my opinion.
My prerequisites are all fitness and aesthetically based.. each to their own!
Some won't for instance rent an apartment/house, to someone with bad credit; so it might be important when they're seeking to reside together.
Most will take a guarantor/deposit in this case (source - my family own a large real estate business. I've been surrounded by the property business all of my life).
I think that if you come to the conclusion that you're not prepared to look for a house that allows you both to live together - in every eventuality, you're probably not with the right person.
I know that if I were looking for a house to rent and credit score was an issue, there are plenty landlords that would happily take my money even if a couple decided not to.
Ultimately, it's a small obstacle to overcome - added to the fact that credit scores change, all the time!
The maximum time any report can stay on one is 6 years, meaning that by the time you're ready to move in together - the situation could be completely different.
I've resided within my apartment complex, my entire 37 years; in 2 separate apartments. Since I've been here, prior to having; a credit score & never missed a payment, either my parents or myself, my score doesn't matter but when a complex's evicting nearly 20% of their tenants, for nonpayment of rent; it matters because they must redo (paint walls/polish floors) an apartment, for each new tenant; which could be over a grand & more, if the new tenant'd require disability access (personal ramp); that the previous tenant didn't. Plus they'd lose money due to vacancy, since it also takes time; to redo an apartment/find a qualified tenant. My security deposit wouldn't cover ¼ of those costs, it's basically for potential damages; that aren't due to normal wear & tear! Areas that don't have, strict qualifications're usually unkempt & crime riddled. Unfortunately love doesn't guarantee, that you're residing somewhere; reasonably safe. As in they're so desperate for tenants, that they'll accept everyone; even felons aren't permitted here. That said, we've also had every type of crime; happen here anyway but it isn't a regular occurrence. A credit score's mostly an avenue, to determine responsibility/maturity; rather than financial worth. Which depending upon why someone has bad credit, it might not be held against them such as medical debt; which's what I've currently.0 -
BattleRopes wrote: »AdamAthletic wrote: »BattleRopes wrote: »AdamAthletic wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »Definitely not the first date. At some point in the relationship, yes.
Just adding in here.
If you're already with somebody and you get on with them. Work as a couple.
Overcome new relationship barriers and there doesn't seem to be any obstacles.
Why would you then wish to credit check them?
Personally I've never shared my credit details with anybody I've ever been with.
Even now, finances don't make or break a relationship for me.
If you credit checked me a few years ago when I was establishing my business and had a few issues it would look terrible.
Now, well. I don't need to worry, put it that way.
So, a credit check really doesn't tell you anything about anybody.
I'd want somebody I'm with to be with me wether I was catching a bus to work at a market stall or driving a Porsche to get to my office.
Of course, this is simply my opinion.
My prerequisites are all fitness and aesthetically based.. each to their own!
Some won't for instance rent an apartment/house, to someone with bad credit; so it might be important when they're seeking to reside together.
Most will take a guarantor/deposit in this case (source - my family own a large real estate business. I've been surrounded by the property business all of my life).
I think that if you come to the conclusion that you're not prepared to look for a house that allows you both to live together - in every eventuality, you're probably not with the right person.
I know that if I were looking for a house to rent and credit score was an issue, there are plenty landlords that would happily take my money even if a couple decided not to.
Ultimately, it's a small obstacle to overcome - added to the fact that credit scores change, all the time!
The maximum time any report can stay on one is 6 years, meaning that by the time you're ready to move in together - the situation could be completely different.
I've resided within my apartment complex, my entire 37 years; in 2 separate apartments. Since I've been here, prior to having; a credit score & never missed a payment, either my parents or myself, my score doesn't matter but when a complex's evicting nearly 20% of their tenants, for nonpayment of rent; it matters because they must redo (paint walls/polish floors) an apartment, for each new tenant; which could be over a grand & more, if the new tenant'd require disability access (personal ramp); that the previous tenant didn't. Plus they'd lose money due to vacancy, since it also takes time; to redo an apartment/find a qualified tenant. My security deposit wouldn't cover ¼ of those costs, it's basically for potential damages; that aren't due to normal wear & tear! Areas that don't have, strict qualifications're usually unkempt & crime riddled. Unfortunately love doesn't guarantee, that you're residing somewhere; reasonably safe. As in they're so desperate for tenants, that they'll accept everyone; even felons aren't permitted here. That said, we've also had every type of crime; happen here anyway but it isn't a regular occurrence. A credit score's mostly an avenue, to determine responsibility/maturity; rather than financial worth. Which depending upon why someone has bad credit, it might not be held against them such as medical debt; which's what I've currently.
The credit scoring system only issues a number - compares that number to a graph and aligns it to whichever scoring system is being used.
It quite literally tells you nothing about why the score is high or low, unless you're a lender - the score that's made available to a potential landlord or housing agency isn't detailed in any sense of the word (nor should it be).
So, the fact still remains that requesting somebody's credit report isn't going to give you any insight into their personality nor financial responsibility level.
To some people perhaps financial upstanding is important and that's fine, to others it bears no importance whatsoever but a credit report isn't going to give you any more of an insight into what's in a persons bank account not how they might choose to spend it.
As for living areas - I don't really find that is any more strict in (let's say) a financial area to a run down area. The main difference being the rental price of the house/apartment.
If you can afford the rent, mostly you shouldn't find it overly difficult to find a property regardless of credit scoring.
Let's say you find somebody with an incredible credit score and psychotic tendencies - you can have the nicest house in the nicest area and you're less safe because of the choice of person.
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LOL! Something tells me you'd get away with it!
...but most people? nah!0 -
It's unreasonable... and anyone who would consider a date after such a request would be an asshat wearing socially inept doofus1
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I couldn't give a rat's *kitten* what someone's credit score is. To ask would be shallow and pointless. If that's important on the first date (or any date) then why bother?0
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
This should be the approach.mrwineismybf wrote: »Friend and i discussed this and although im not into money it may help weed out some weirdos...thoughts?
Start small then work your way up the scale of severity, like do they have a job, still live with their parents, ever been convicted of a felony or are they on a sexual offender list somewhere. Credit scores come later!
At some point, credit score is important to have a good picture of the individual's financial capabilities and poor decisions. In cases of marriage, debt becomes collective debt. And you don't want to be tied into someone's spending problems.
I remember seeing a news segment, within which a prosecutor; had to testify at congress because he had to divorce his wife, due to becoming the 1 the law deemed responsible; for having to pay for her ex husband's debt! Apparently so much money was being garnished via his wages, that he was unable to afford gas; to go to work himself! I don't know what, became of his situation and/or the law, since though!2 -
I would rather have a 5 year medication list1
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MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »90% of responses
"I would be offended and not answer this! Btw here's my credit score"
If only your profile picture was Kermit sipping on his tea lmao.0 -
That will just drive them away.0
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Well it would appear i am the weirdo... jeez....you people think to literal ...the first question i usually go with is if you were a fruit what would you be and why?
Cause that question typically puts you in one of 3 categories...1. Lame/boring 2. Perv/sexual 3. Crazy/hilarous/creative
Since everyone liked my credit score opening i went with that ...
If you were a bad credit score why?
If you were a good credit score why?
This also puts you in categories.... 0 -
mrwineismybf wrote: »Well it would appear i am the weirdo... jeez....you people think to literal ...the first question i usually go with is if you were a fruit what would you be and why?
Cause that question typically puts you in one of 3 categories...1. Lame/boring 2. Perv/sexual 3. Crazy/hilarous/creative
Since everyone liked my credit score opening i went with that ...
If you were a bad credit score why?
If you were a good credit score why?
This also puts you in categories....
It's possible, to be; literally funny!0 -
If I was still in the online dating scene, I would totally have a headline like "Rocking a credit score or 783" lol. It would be funny and is kinda a running joke. I get that it is important but it is really weird to straight ask. A headline like that would open up the conversation and I somehow feel your awesome headline would scare away the 400s1
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A noticed a lot of comments about how it shouldn't matter. I couldn't date someone knowing the relationship may never progress. Finances generally become combined and I would lose my sanity with someone who was living beyond their/our means. If the mortgage needs to be paid and he goes and spends all the checking and savings on the tables, there would probably be a domestic... (I don't agree with domestics by any means)0
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I would refuse to answer this question without some type of pre-date agreement in place. Problem solved.
.....and yes I saw that the OP wasn't very serious. But some of the responses were good.
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This discussion has been closed.
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