Why did you get married?

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  • minburke
    minburke Posts: 241 Member
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    What I can tell you... Love is worth the struggle. It's worth the anguish and the pain. Love it worth all the ups and all the downs.

    I fell in love with a girl. Our plan was to grow old together (while keeping each other young). Apparently, that wasn't everyone's plan because earlier this summer I lost her. After a week in the hospital I'm still here. I've been told I survived, but I don't feel alive anymore.

    My biggest hope for everyone who reads this: LOVE like you may never get to show your love again. Make it a passion. Make the person you love into your best friend. Don't try to control them. Don't toss them to the wolves. Don't ever give them a single moment to doubt how much you care. Stand up for them and support them in all of their choices... both good and bad.

    Love is worth it.

    I'm so sorry. Thank you for writing this though. I love my partner more than anything but it is easy in day-to-day life to take loved ones for granted.. This just makes it even more apparent that we truly have to appreciate every moment we have with people.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    Well. I got married in 1996 after the birth of my first child - I was 20 years old. We were married for 13 yrs but were quite unhappy for a lot of those years. We just weren't very compatible and honestly? We wouldn't have been together if not for our daughter. Had another daughter in 1998. We separated in 2009. Divorced recently.

    Will I marry again? I don't know. I'm not sure I want to marry again - though there ARE benefits to being married. For right now, I am okay with simply living together for awhile.
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,258 Member
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    well, my wife is super smoking hot and I knew I couldn't do any better, I definately "married up" :)
  • Karabobarra
    Karabobarra Posts: 782 Member
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    Insanity runs in my family....
  • PhoenixRising11
    PhoenixRising11 Posts: 245 Member
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    I'd love for my boyfriend to ask me to marry him, we have been together for 2 years, is that too soon?
    I would never ask him though as I think, maybe traditionally, it should be the man who asks.
    Maybe it's because I feel like women are so open with their feelings all the time where as men tend to keep their emotions in check all the time. If my boyfriend were to ask me I would probably cry with happiness!

    I know he wants to be with me forever and he has mentioned about me taking his name but he is the type of person that wants to wait a hell of a long time before "committing" to something like that even though we have signed for a 25 year mortgage after about 6 months of dating. :)

    I'd wanna marry him because I would want to make it official, as others have said, that we are a team.
    I want to have his last name to show everyone I am his and he is mine!
    I would preferably (maybe it's tradition again) to be married before we have kids. I don't know why exactly, i just know I'd prefer it that way.

    I just can't wait for the day that he asks me, I don't mind if we sit on the engagement for a few years. I just want to hear it coming from him officially that he wants me to be with him forever. *cheese*
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,258 Member
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    how old are you phoenix? My wife and i dated 6 years while in College and beginning our Careers, then we got married, been amrried 15 years, so together 21 years.

    it really depends where you are in life and common goals, also what you both want.

    Does he know you wish to get married, because sometimes you know us guys are pretty dense.

    leaving pictures of engagement rings around is usually helpful, especially one that you like, my wife took me to a store and pointed it out...lol....(that there is a ring I would like).....hey I got the clue! :)
  • noelheart
    noelheart Posts: 60
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    Because I found an amazing man! So after 11 months of dating we went to Vegas and got married. Had 20 guests.

    I am glad I didnt spend alot of money on the wedding.

    20 guests? it seems too little.
    How do you feel the life after marriage?
  • PhoenixRising11
    PhoenixRising11 Posts: 245 Member
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    ha ha! I like your wife's subtly :)

    I'm 24 and yeah we have talked about marriage to each other a few times so he knows how I feel about it and i knows how he feels.
    I'm not in a good physical state at the moment, I'm waiting for an operation on my hip so can't really enjoy life as much as usual until that's done. i think I have a better chance of him asking me when I'm up and about again, full fit and healthy so that we can enjoy being engaged! At the moment we are going through a lot enough as it is.

    If I'm fit and healthy and he DOESN'T ask me within a year though I will start dropping wedding brochures out of my bag and leaving pictures of engagement rings everywhere. :) ha ha!!
  • DorkothyParker
    DorkothyParker Posts: 618 Member
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    My husband and I were dating for 3.5 years when he unceremoniously dumped me. We started hanging out as friends a few months later after he had made the decision to join the military. He went off, I started university and he contacted me again. I told him I was going to do a long-distance dating thing. So, we went ahead and got married a few months later. We've been married over 7.5 years now. So, it works, I guess?

    We didn't have a wedding, though. We just did it at the county courthouse and then headed off for sushi. No family or friends in attendance or fancy dresses or anything. He had just moved after completing his training so we didn't know anyone. I am glad I didn't have the stress of a wedding on top of all the other major changes, tbh.
  • noelheart
    noelheart Posts: 60
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    how old are you phoenix? My wife and i dated 6 years while in College and beginning our Careers, then we got married, been amrried 15 years, so together 21 years.

    it really depends where you are in life and common goals, also what you both want.

    Does he know you wish to get married, because sometimes you know us guys are pretty dense.

    leaving pictures of engagement rings around is usually helpful, especially one that you like, my wife took me to a store and pointed it out...lol....(that there is a ring I would like).....hey I got the clue! :)

    amazing! I think your life must be quite happy with your wife. You have a long and deep love, 21 years, wonderful.
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,258 Member
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    noelheart, I ahve to tell you, we are a pretty loose couple, not to much gets us mad, we maybe fought 5 times in the 21 years? If that.

    We are Both HUGE flirts, but niether one of us a jealous people, I understand men will hit on my wife, she is a hot momma, she also can understand when I say, hey Noelheart is pretty cute. No reason to get jealous, that is what people do.

    We also are a goofy couple, we travel, we have fun, and we enjoy our three children, we work hard and have fun together.

    Laughter and joking is really the key.... also I really believe flirting is a huge element to a good marriage, there is not a day where my wife can walk by me, were I am not grabbing her tush or other parts trying to get some "action" hehe....If I were not to, she would ask what gives??

    I also think it is vital for women to flirt and tease their men, send a naughty text message or leave a sexy voicemail....sometimes it is the little flirtation that makes things "spin"

    fun and laughter is the key
  • noelheart
    noelheart Posts: 60
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    ha ha! I like your wife's subtly :)

    I'm 24 and yeah we have talked about marriage to each other a few times so he knows how I feel about it and i knows how he feels.
    I'm not in a good physical state at the moment, I'm waiting for an operation on my hip so can't really enjoy life as much as usual until that's done. i think I have a better chance of him asking me when I'm up and about again, full fit and healthy so that we can enjoy being engaged! At the moment we are going through a lot enough as it is.

    If I'm fit and healthy and he DOESN'T ask me within a year though I will start dropping wedding brochures out of my bag and leaving pictures of engagement rings everywhere. :) ha ha!!

    Hope you'll be fine soon!
  • noelheart
    noelheart Posts: 60
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    noelheart, I ahve to tell you, we are a pretty loose couple, not to much gets us mad, we maybe fought 5 times in the 21 years? If that.

    We are Both HUGE flirts, but niether one of us a jealous people, I understand men will hit on my wife, she is a hot momma, she also can understand when I say, hey Noelheart is pretty cute. No reason to get jealous, that is what people do.

    We also are a goofy couple, we travel, we have fun, and we enjoy our three children, we work hard and have fun together.

    Laughter and joking is really the key.... also I really believe flirting is a huge element to a good marriage, there is not a day where my wife can walk by me, were I am not grabbing her tush or other parts trying to get some "action" hehe....If I were not to, she would ask what gives??

    I also think it is vital for women to flirt and tease their men, send a naughty text message or leave a sexy voicemail....sometimes it is the little flirtation that makes things "spin"

    fun and laughter is the key

    Hey MellowGa,

    Thanks for your reply.
    You must be a considerate guy, your wife too. It is admiring. You even remember the times that you fought in the past 21 years.

    fun and laughter, okay, remember
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    The ex and I got married because we were so unconventional no-one expected us to! So we went on holiday and came back married.

    Don't think I'd do it again, though. I'm with Samuel Johnson who said a second marriage is the "triumph of hope over experience" :laugh:
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,258 Member
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    I can tell you the outfit my wife wore on our first date and what day it was....

    June 11, 1990 She wore a Blue sweatshirt with some bleach stains on it and Jean shorts...

    We had to work that night, so we headed down to the Beach (Jersey Shore) we had a Picnic under the moonlight on the beach as we watched the waves crash.....

    Am I good or what.... hehe
  • hsquared87
    hsquared87 Posts: 73
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    My husband and I got engaged after dating for only 3 months and married 2 months later. Our 3 year anniversary is in just a few days. I am so glad I married him, We are very good together. I honestly think we got married to give our relationship a chance. I was given orders to the other side of the country. I ended up getting hurt and got to stay on the same coast as him. In the beginning I wondered why the hell I did it we fought and our communication sucked but being married allows you to fall back in love when things get rough. I am glad we worked through the rough because it was worth it.
  • dannonrn
    dannonrn Posts: 4 Member
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    I got married 4 years ago and found out this month he cheated on me. I knew something was up but he denied and denied! When he finally started talking he said "you have changed, your not the girl I married, Im not as attracted to you" Yep 20lb wt gain in 4 years and he cheated on me. Is that why I here? Maybe, but mostly, at least Im hoping is for me. Because I want to do it. Because I can do it! Not for him but for me.
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    I married my Billy almost 2 years ago, we met online and I was married at the time, although very unhappily, I divorced my ex after he threatened to kill me and I had to call the police, he moved out after this bur kept breaking into the house in the early hours of the morning and I would wake to find him standing over me.

    Cut to why after a bad experience I married Bill, I wanted to. He wanted me to be his wife, not his girlfriend. He wanted the world to see his commitment to me, we got married in the Church in the village I grew up in and where my Mum is buried, in front of our family and friends and with their support and love. The church was important to us, although we are not very religious, I grew up going to this church, I went to a church school and so did my children, Myself and the children are all christened and confirmed. The vicar was fabulous and he wrote to the Bishop to get his permission for us to marry, as I was divorced.

    The law here does not recognise cohabitation as a legally binding thing, and a cohabiting couple have no legal connection in the way they do in Canada.

    Bill wanted me to be his wife, he wanted me to take his name, he wanted to show a commitment to me and the children and make a vow in front of everyone he cared about to love and cherish me.

    I was watching my Wedding video this morning while having a coffee, and it was the best day EVER, we had the best Wedding and the best people came and shared it with us.

    My oldest daughter is recently engaged, and wants also to marry in Church, it makes it feel more real to marry in the eyes of god using the traditional service that is hundreds of years old and unchanged in hundreds of years, my parents, grandparents, great grandparents and great great great grandparents had the same ceremony and made the same vows, I love that thought, that connection.

    We have the letter written by the Bishop granting us permission to marry framed and hanging on the wall. On our anniversary we went to the Church at the time we married and just stood together.

    ps, picture on my ticker is from our Wedding day, taken outside the castle in our village
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    I'm getting married next year, because i love him more than anything in the world and want us to be a family, i cant wait to be Mrs Smith!!!
  • MellowGa
    MellowGa Posts: 1,258 Member
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    dannonrn anytime a spouse cheats and says, "you've changed"....you haven't they have, they have become the big butt head, don't think it is your fault, it is his, and he should OWN it.

    Find someone better

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