We broke up because...
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He got scared when I brought the cattle prod out to play with.0
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ouch, she liked to shock me with the cattle prod. I found out quick that I didn't like it.
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He was really shocked when I told him his ex called and said she's pregnant with his baby0
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She never believed that it was the mailmans baby0
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Didn't want to get me pregnant0
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Was always trying to get him to push me against the wall, he never got the hint0
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My shirt was faded, he thought it said kill, when it really said kiss (shrugs)0
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He tried to be the DJ at our wedding as well as the groom. He liked being the DJ better.0
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He took the pink pill instead of the blue pill. Was never a good night or any for that matter.0
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I couldn't catch her.0
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Ate all my bonbons0
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Only wanted my bacon...now om just chopped ham to her 0
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I was never reminded when our anniversary was...0
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For our aniversary he took me to jack in the box0
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She didn't appreciate that I super-sized her meal...1
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She ate ice cream with my brother0
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Told me ice cream goes straight to my thighs0
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She didn't like the way I cleaned the ice cream whenever it fell onto her thighs...0
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He was making up excuses to run and grope0
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Rub not run0
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His tongue was dry like a cat1
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we haven't broken up, but according to the restraining order we have1
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He had crazy legal issues1
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didn't think she was as messed up in the head as me0
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Was whoring around:(0
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Our therapy sessions weren't working0
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He was always overthinking0
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Ha ha my favorite saying!
I'm just a simple person. It is what it is. It isn't what it isn't.0 -
He kept missing band practice !1
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