WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2017

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~ Lanette - that made me GIGGLE! I could soooo see a frying pan headed his direction with a few well placed round kicks to his knees too!
~ Barbie - that's the plan - I'm probably going to drive up to get Nana's rocking chair and help out with Scotty's estate when I can be more useful - meaning I'm taking my bereavement time Labor Day week...with or without co-pilot...
~ Karen - yes, he was taking up a lot of time and energy, and it kept increasing in intensity. I was very shocked to read my release papers from the hospital, noting he'd listed himself as my FIANCE next to his name and number for transportation. Made me truly wonder what else he told the staff while I was asleep!
~ Lenora - I could make the quilt if I wanted to, but I want to preserve his scent for as long as I possibly can. When I want to feel him close to me, I pull out the bag and throw one of his T-shirts on. I was horribly sick with pneumonia last year and one of the only comforts in my haze was when my son grabbed one of Daddy's T-shirts and wrapped it around a pillow to lay next to me. I couldn't begin to tell you how it comforted me. I have a feeling once I get up there and start going through his things again I'll be lost in memories and laughter. It's time for my reluctance to bring things to me and deal with the finality of that emotion. I talked with my kids last night at length on this and they've helped me put things into perspective about my reluctance. It's fear, primarily of thinking if I left many of his things near him and in the house, his spirit will always be there to greet me. However, I want to acknowledge that releasing him from his home in my mind also releases me from the reluctance to enter and stay. I can then begin to heal and surrender my pain of being there, and maybe even sit in his chair. His recliner is like a shrine, and no one but myself or my son are allowed to sit in it besides my step Mom - and she prefers not to - stating it's too weird. The last time I was there I helped her replace the flooring, and moving his recliner was required. We decided to put it elsewhere in the house, and it just didn't feel right after a few days. We moved it back to it's original location and it hasn't moved since then. As you can see or imagine, it's very difficult for us all. My Daddy was a powerful man and is still very connected to all of us across the country.

Much love and respect from Vegas,
Dorrie aka TrulyDivyn
"You've been blessed with another day, go find out why" --- Dad

Hello ladies,
Love love hearing about your trip Heather. It reminds me of the cruise I took in the 80's with my girlfriend. I figured I needed to travel because once I married I wouldn't be going anywhere, cue in the saucy sailor!!!

There are many places I haven't visited, but a lot I have. From trips to Korea, Thailand, Bangkok, Japan, I have learned to appreciate my Oregon all the more! It takes knowing what you lost, to appreciate what you have. When I was in Japan for those 7 years, I lost my sense of personal space. I appreciated how the Japanese society made do, with however little space they could call their own, and find beauty in it. They have a special word for the organizational control of their lives. From that, I have learned that there is perfection in things imperfect. I met some great friends there, and I felt honored when they invited me to their homes. They do not take friendship lightly. Always honoring the relationship with gifts and little presents. Thankfully, we all kept the gifts small, easy to reciprocate with. Nothing too expensive, mostly baked goods. But regardless, I was accepted into their coveted circle of ladies. A truck came by the apartment complex I faced. It was like a farmers market on a truck. They printed a newspaper of items you could buy. A bunch of us neighbors would get together and share some of the large items like a case of fresh scallops. Each putting in money for it. It was great fun for me to be included in this, because my American neighbor was told she couldn't partake! She was kind of opinionated, outspoken, and as a sort of ambassador, ( which I think all military people are in their host countries), she didn't acclimate well in Japan. I remember buying fresh soy beans still on the stalk. Just boiling them in lightly salted water, and it was edamame so yummy!

Well reminiscing here!!! Still haven't gotten letter #2 from youngest and though I am trying to be patient...aaack!
Becca
Oregon

Katla, your son sounds like quite an ambitious man! His process into the military life sounds smoother, than my sons. We told him what to expect, his brothers called him and they chatted about what to expect, but until you live it, you really aren't prepared. It saddened me to hear of his experience processing through. When he had his urine analysis, he got sick so that's why in the box sent back to us, there was no pants or shirt. How sad is that, that he would get so upset to be sick about it? Were they "just pee in the cup goddammit" and being mean? He's my little Owain, and it just breaks my heart to think about it.

I am hoping that the reason we haven't recd letter #2 is because he's had a 180' change of heart and he is just happily too busy. Hey! A Mom can dream right!
Becca
Being positive in
Oregon

Becca: I hope Owain is settling in and getting used to things. You may need to settle in, too. A mom can dream and that never goes away. The love doesn't go away either, but the empty nest is a challenge every day. I was still working when my kids started their lives away from home & was grateful for my work routine. It helped me adjust. (((HUGS)))

With all the changes we wish to do with the present layout of this apartment, we shall be busy. And moving books will be a great way to exercise, plus weeding out books we don't need. Also with the possibility of having both eldest, and middle son for Christmas, that should be fun! Might be able to give some items to middle son, now that they are moving up to Vancouver WA. And finally if we move to Whidbey well it will be awesome!

I am handling this empty nest thing quite well. I have been writing to him daily, and that helps to have my Owain writing time. Husband is trying to get over his cold. He can't have a cold when we travel up to Whidbey island! He has dayquil to help his battle!

Becca
Oregon

Prayers to all of you who are going through tough times!

Hi all. Just a quick pop in to say hi. I have had a migraine all day so I have not done a thing. I'm going to try to get to exercise class later this evening...the headache is starting to go away so I think it my be gone by then. Loving the photos! Take care, Meg from Omaha

Hello again ladies! So good to hear from all of you! I have been trying to write before I leave my office each day since I get busy in the evenings at home. I am finally feeling like I am losing a little weight so I may actually get on the scale Monday (the day I like to weigh) and see how its going. I know my face is looking a little thinner so there is hope. Haha.
I think I might buy a little freezer so I can start doing some make-ahead and freezer meals to eat during the week and for lunches. Do any of you have any favorite make-ahead meals? Just checking. Of course I have found some on Pinterest that I can’t wait to try out! Good thing is I love to cook and I cook good! Don’t tell Emily .. but she does NOT cook good. Lord that girl can mess up boiled water and swear she did everything just like me. Well no she didn’t .. I have never messed up boiled water. HAAA!! I love picking on her though so its good that she has the patience of Job!!
Lanette SW WA State, Mikesmom1983, DJ Myrle Beach SC, Re in TX – Thank you for the congrats! I plan to cover the baby in all the kisses he/she can stand!
Barbie – So glad you are getting the patio done so quickly! Hope you will enjoy it!
Mikesmom1983 – Thank you for the congrats!
Vicki Grand Island NE – So sorry for all you have been going through! It is so hard when things just happen one on top of the other! Will send positive thoughts your way!
Re in TX – You are such an inspiration! I love that you are sticking to your guns and not giving in just because the loss is slower than it was before. I love your comment about greek yogurt! I was never a fan until after I tried using it instead of mayo in my chicken salad and now I use it in my chicken wraps too! Learning to love that stuff! Haha
Michele – Hopefully Vince will have a talk with her after the shower. That would be so helpful for everyone I think. Sometimes people are so used to being bullies that they need a reminder to stop behaving that way. Even if her son doesn’t have the backbone to say anything, eventually he will get tired of it and then start trying to avoid her.
Joyce in IN – Too funny that Charlie is so competitive! I’m not quite as bad as him but not too far off either! Lol. I get tickled at my cats when they bathe each other. One is Boo (an all black cat) and the other is Yinyang (the tortie). When Boo decides to bathe Yinyang, she puts a paw on her head like she is holding her down. Cracks me up!
Heather UK – WHAT a gorgeous photo! I just love your smile!
Sue in AZ – Welcome! Glad to see you here!

Have a wonderful rest of the week!
Wendy in Ark

Thank you, Karen!

Allie – I agree – MOVE or else TomCat isn’t going to pay anything. So are you and he going to sell the house there and the place in FL? Surely, he’d owe you for ½ of each (or if he keeps one, would still have to buy you out to get you to sign the paperwork to get them into his name. You own ½ of them. I don’t know about Connecticut; but, FL is a ‘community property state’ and each side of a couple owns ½.

Mary – We’ll have a nice weekend … anniversary falls again on a Sunday, like when we married. Mother put together a little box for us with all the goodies in it. By the time we got to where we stayed the first night we were famished.

Marcelynh – Beautiful view!

Toni – This past year I have had two very close former HS classmates of mine commit suicide. We’d just sort of come to grips when one died; but, this last one, I think, blew everybody away. Just saw one of my really good friends at the grocery store, and someone (I think she said an aunt) had just buried her husband Friday, learned today that her 21-year-old son was killed in a collision up in Atlanta. I could tell my friend had been crying.
Seems like there are so many needing prayers. I think we all need it, I think we have an ‘unspoken chain prayer’ on this line … we are all ‘angels’ to someone. We’ve all ‘Entertained Angels, most Unaware.”

Katla – My Daddy was an attorney, so I grew up in it. In fact, he had to teach me to play “Poker” so I could ‘give’ the poker face if people in town asked questions about who my Dad saw or not, who came to our home, and ‘lie with a straight face’. Right after Louis and I married, we got transferred to Albany. I was a ‘stay-at-home’ Mom until my boys were ‘in school’. So, when I decided to go back to work, they was just something I felt I could say that I some ‘experience’. I had been ‘offered’ a job; but, since I had a 2nd interview that afternoon, I asked if I could give them an answer the next day. Went on the interview dressed just like “Miss Goodie 2-shoes” in a white sleeveless dress that I had made, trimmed in navy and brass buttons. I was the ‘last person they were going to interview and they would let me ‘one way or the other’ if I got the job or not. As I was sitting there waiting for them to come back from court; and, my ‘soon-to-be’ boss walked in ahead of them, I sort of had the ‘breath taken away’ like I did when Louis and I met. I did the interview and everybody was nice (the Senior partner’s secretary was a bit on the huffy side). When she called to tell me I had the job; I asked if I could have the rest of the week to find child care. I worked for ‘my’ boss; she was NOT my ‘boss’. I talked to my Dad about the jobs. Very different. First was in a law firm that did a lot of real estate and insurance defense cases. The job, I took, was with a plaintiff-based firm that did personal injury, medical malpractice/malfeasance, product liability, divorce, criminal cases, and very little real estate. My Daddy told me that ‘if I realy wanted to learn the law inside and out’ … I’d better hope they called me back. They did, I did … seemed to be best choice. It was a lot of ‘hurry up and wait’ when it came to getting a case ready to ‘take to court’. I enjoyed the times we were able to go and watch Senior Partner in court …. Especially his closings. He eventually moved his practice to Atlanta, due to getting more exposure there. I had only been working for a week when they got their first $1M ‘fee’ and the defense were not going to appeal the judgement. Talk about putting on a party with little heads-up. The 3 secretaries had a catered event by the time they drove down from Atlanta that afternoon … every attorney, secretary, and Judge in town were invited.

I’ve seen ‘divorces’ from both sides, both men and women. I really think most of the men were a bit ‘thick-headed’. They women – sometimes you had to be the ‘middle person’ because depending on the circumstances, they would call you at all hours – very early in the AM and right before you got ready to lock the doors.

Dorri –I’d feel the same way about Louis and his pillow (small feather pillow) … I would ‘kill’ someone if they decided it needed to be ‘washed’ or ‘thrown out’.
When my Mimi died and we went up to the funeral home, I looked at Mother and told her ‘she did not look right’. My Mother gave me a questioning look and in front of the funeral director told her that I had never see Mimi without her glasses. Which was true. She’d put them on ‘before getting out of bed’ in the morning, and they were the last thing that came off when she went to bed. So he told Mother to go home and get them, he agreed … then, my uncle (Mother’s younger brother) pitched one of the ‘biggest temper tantrums’ for doing it. I told him that Mother was around Mimi a LOT more than he with hiss ‘raggedly @$$’. When she was sick and in the hospital and having hallucinations and we did not know if she live, I called him and told him that he needed to come down. He remarked that ‘he was busy’ and ‘that Mother (his sis) was just being over-dramatic. After that, I had nothing to do with him. My Daddy died in 1985 – and, I ‘still’ miss him. But, when he was on his ‘death bed’ I crawled up in it and told her ‘if was ok to let go and go home; but, when I died … I wanted him to meet me and “Call me, Dale, Daddy!” Something I told him on my 4th Christmas Day when Santa brought me a red wooden rocking horse and a total cowgirl hat, with hat, cowboy boots, and a whip and gloves.

My former sister-in-law and her present husband were stationed in Japan for 4 years and ‘loved’ it. They had several ‘cats’ with ‘crooked’ (broken) tails. Said that the Japanese considered to ‘good’ luck. Poor kitties. Like clipping or docking a dog’s ears or tails, maybe it isn’t as hard on them when they are kittens.

Becca – I’d be careful where I put my rocks. Bought 6lbs for 77¢ this afternoon.

Allie – Just makes lists … try to prioritized them … you’re now going to be in the “6 of 1; half-dozen of the other’ phase.

Lenora

Marcelynh - Louis and I used to go scuba diving. LOVED it! But, I can't say that I really liked having him as my 'dive buddy' ... he was either ahead of me or behind me. For the WORLD, could NOT get him to swim beside me; and, he could not understand why I got so angry with him about it. I'd hyperventilate for several minutes as we got down the anchor line, then I'd be ok. The first time we went on a Wall Dive ... and we had to hang on to the rope on a floating ball with an anchor, someone kicked my mask off; and, I went back up the rope so fast that my nose bled. I literally crawled up on the ball I was so upset. The dive boat came over and one of the people swam over to me, so I would not get carried off by the current. I don't think I have ever had that bad of a headache. Did the one thing the dive master had told us not to do. The next year ... I was first to the bottom. It was awesome!!!! Thankfully, that was the 'last dive of the trip'.

Lenora