My date with the person above me was going great until...
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Until she said it was shark week. See ya next week
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He had to borrow money for our date0
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He got out his drone to be a peeping Tom
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she ordered tequila with her crab legs -0
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he said I looked like his mom then tried to kiss me0
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started crying abt her ex0
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She slipped on the floor and fell and had to be rushed to the hospital.0
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He dropped his barbell on my foot0
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She left with the waiter.0
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she kept feeling around the hot tub for a bar of soap.......0
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he vanished with the nachos0
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she ate $300 of steak and then downed 6 pints of beer0
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He said I ate too much.
Basically called me fat1 -
She passed out0
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He whipped me with it.0
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She whipped me with it!!!0
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His card was declined0
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I mentioned bacon.0
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He overcooked the bacon!0
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She ate all the bacon.
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she ordered bacon ice cream. i mean, who orders bacon ice cream forchristsake!!!0
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He dropped his pants in the middle of the dance floor!
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My wife stormed in and clobbered me.0
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He bit me0
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She threw me in the pool and I drown0
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She drowned. 0
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She wouldn't let the cute Lifeguard give me CPR
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I noticed all she did was take pics of her legs0
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