Age = less attractiveness?

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  • Karliemyalgia
    Karliemyalgia Posts: 146 Member
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    What a fantastic question!
    This is definitely a curious topic as there are so many differing opinions.

    Age is not the only factor when it comes to how we see attractiveness, so fortunately, it should be no end-all for most of us. If it is someones "end all" simply age, then they're not open enough to be worth experiencing life with.

    I find that with age comes experience, and there is a certain charm and sexiness in a knowledge and understanding that comes along with experience. Now it isn't always "age=experience" because experiences come to all ages, shapes and sizes, but as more years get added onto our lives more opportunity for experience exists.

    I have always found myself attracted to older men, and I enjoy the salt and pepper, the age lines, the life I see in that person.

    Age = More Attractive
    for me.

    Thanks for a thought provoking question,
  • nvmomketo
    nvmomketo Posts: 12,019 Member
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    GlassAngyl wrote: »
    nvmomketo wrote: »
    Christine_72 wrote: »
    When i was in my 20's i thought 40+ year olds were sooooo old. Now that I'm 45 I love it, and I'm still waiting to feel like a grown up :tongue:

    Don't those 20 years old seem like babies to you now? So young! ;)

    I'm another who think we become less attractive as we age; that seems to start in middle to just after middle age. There are definitely people out there who peak in attractiveness in middle age (40s-50s) but they are a minority. Once middle age and after hits, it seems more common to get the statement, "that person is attractive" followed by the disclaimer, "for their age".

    I'm also another who thinks, "who cares?". I know in my final years I will never regret not having fussed over my appearance more. I'm not unattractive. I am less physically attractive then I was at 25, but I don't really care. I'm aging. It beats the alternative. ;)

    @nvmomketo, when I was 20 years old, other 20 year olds seemed like children to me.. now that I'm in my 30's, 30 year olds seem like children and 20 year olds are down right infantile. But to be fair, everyone in highschool thought I was a substitute teacher. Guess I'm to boring to hang with the hip crowd. :neutral:

    LOL
    I do miss that 20 year old body though. It hurt a lot less. I'm paying for my active youth ;)
  • whitpauly
    whitpauly Posts: 1,483 Member
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    I'm kind of lucky cuz I've never been "beautiful" teens and 20's I was too busy raising kids and being totally self conscious about weight,skin issues etc,now at 44(!!) On Thursday! I can honestly say that I feel more attractive now than in my youth,I get hit in by all ages but I think they sense my confidence and smart *kitten* personality and it's appealing, who knows, who cares cuz I've been married my hubs for 27 years so I don't pay much notice,I think being the best YOU is more attractive than just youth in general, the number does still bug me a bit though but as others have said,at least I'm alive haha
  • GlassAngyl
    GlassAngyl Posts: 478 Member
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    nvmomketo wrote: »
    GlassAngyl wrote: »
    nvmomketo wrote: »
    Christine_72 wrote: »
    When i was in my 20's i thought 40+ year olds were sooooo old. Now that I'm 45 I love it, and I'm still waiting to feel like a grown up :tongue:

    Don't those 20 years old seem like babies to you now? So young! ;)

    I'm another who think we become less attractive as we age; that seems to start in middle to just after middle age. There are definitely people out there who peak in attractiveness in middle age (40s-50s) but they are a minority. Once middle age and after hits, it seems more common to get the statement, "that person is attractive" followed by the disclaimer, "for their age".

    I'm also another who thinks, "who cares?". I know in my final years I will never regret not having fussed over my appearance more. I'm not unattractive. I am less physically attractive then I was at 25, but I don't really care. I'm aging. It beats the alternative. ;)

    @nvmomketo, when I was 20 years old, other 20 year olds seemed like children to me.. now that I'm in my 30's, 30 year olds seem like children and 20 year olds are down right infantile. But to be fair, everyone in highschool thought I was a substitute teacher. Guess I'm to boring to hang with the hip crowd. :neutral:

    LOL
    I do miss that 20 year old body though. It hurt a lot less. I'm paying for my active youth ;)

    Yeah.. I was in better shape when I was pregnant in high school. Probably why I grew up so fast and had little tolerance for made up drama. ... nope, I hated drama even as a preteen.
  • whitpauly
    whitpauly Posts: 1,483 Member
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    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    whitpauly wrote: »
    I'm kind of lucky cuz I've never been "beautiful" teens and 20's I was too busy raising kids and being totally self conscious about weight,skin issues etc,now at 44(!!) On Thursday! I can honestly say that I feel more attractive now than in my youth,I get hit in by all ages but I think they sense my confidence and smart *kitten* personality and it's appealing, who knows, who cares cuz I've been married my hubs for 27 years so I don't pay much notice,I think being the best YOU is more attractive than just youth in general, the number does still bug me a bit though but as others have said,at least I'm alive haha

    I think that's pretty cool too. I don't have kids, was always overweight, and have always been pretty confident but I always knew I wasn't "the pretty one" and was fine with that. I liked being the funny one, smart one, nice one, whatever. My mom and her four sisters were GORGEOUS when they were in their teens, twenties and thirties. Like movie stars. My mom legit looked like the actress Andie MacDowell. While she's still a beautiful almost-67 year old, she's not dropping jaws in the same way and it kills her and she feels devastated by that loss of attention and constant praise for her looks. I feel like I'll never have those same types of issues, having never been given excessive attention based on looks - and while at 25 I may have felt jealous of it, now at 40, I'm really, really glad.

    This is exactly what I was thinking, you worded it better haha,I can't imagine not being able to age gracefully and mourning my youth and vanishing looks,my mom does that and it's made her act out throughout the years by trying to be younger than she is plus being depressed cuz she's aging
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
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    Christine_72 wrote: »
    Lets not forget that these older celebrities/models/fashionistas are also wealthy, so they can afford plastic surgery/botox/nips and tucks etc etc I don't think they exemplify the average woman of their age..

    Very true - or if they don't have any work done they probably still have stylists and hair/make up artists to help them look their best. Us mere mortals have no chance! ;)
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
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    QUEENxo1992 wrote: »
    But does age play any part in this?

    i'm not sure if this really addresses what you were asking, but i turned 52 last month and have been busy
    [mostly] losing 25 pounds over the past three years. i know that isn't a whole ton of weight compared with your achievement, but i was gerbil-faced from the git-go and it took me 10 or 15 years or something to collect those extra pounds.

    so, basically, the face i'm seeing now isn't really the face i got used to the last time i weighed 130 pounds. i've been thinking about this off and on during the process anyway, so fwiw i'll let you know where that's been going for me. it might bore a lot of people so i'll tuck it away.

    what i realise is there have been phases in my life where i'd look at my face in the mirror and feel really happy about how i looked because i felt like i matched my appearance. so personal comfort and confidence have been very much about 'do i feel like my face represents me', if that makes sense. to make that more concrete: i think in my twenties i was objectively very pretty, BUT it wasn't until my 30's that sense of feeling synched up with my own face that it really kicked in for me. i was cute as a bug for a while in my early 20's, but once i was 28 and a single mother and a person with opinions and grit and an entire stance towards life . . . that's when i really felt as if i'd grown into my face. and my face, just as much, had grown into me.

    so that's the background. and i'll be honest with you: right now at 52 i think i'm in another phase of slight uneasiness between my 'self' and my face. it feels like two people in a room who don't know one another too well, trying to do-si-do around each other for who goes through a door first. idk any other way of describing it :tongue:

    that's partly because yeah, i did kind of forget that things like wrinkles happen and stuff. so there are physical factors my internal self hasn't caught up with quite yet. but it's also partly because i'm just in an in-between personal kind of phase, anyway. to be honest again, a lot of this feels like adolescence all over again.

    but the point is: i grew out of/into adolescence as well, so i'm mostly just side-swiped by the idea that 'adolescence' is a recurring phenomenon, psychologically. the culture never really made that quite clear to me, so i'm going through this thing now where i'm sort of hunkering down and trying to recall and access the 'lessons' of the first time around so i can hopefully streamline this one.

    i guess my long-winded point is it may take a while for you to get 'used' to yourself as things change, and in my own personal opinion that's normal and it's okay. and finally: a) thank you for the chance to think out loud about this a bit, and b) don't forget to be kind to yourself.
  • WickAndArtoo
    WickAndArtoo Posts: 773 Member
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    Don't compare yourself to billboards and magazines! Instead go to the mall and look around, look at the real live humans next to you, now find a few that look your age... those are the real human beings in this world, they look just like you and me.

    Sure some are skinnier than others, some are larger, but overall our cohorts both male and female are just like us, so you won't have trouble finding love or friends. Will you be older? Yes of course! But like others mentioned, people our age will see you as beautiful because we aren't looking to date 20 yr olds! And those that are probably aren't the type of people that you'd be hanging around in the first place.

    Many of us dread aging physically (I know I do), but I find that it doesn't make much sense because I think many women older than I am are stunning! In the end we all age, and there is nothing we can do about it other than exercise and eat right, so I guess it's just more motivation to stick with our goals :)

    Also my husband and I met 4 years ago, we have both aged and gained enough weight that we look different, but damned I don't still think he is the most handsome man in the world, there is no 20 yo who could hold a candle to him, so no...age and weight is not everything.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    tomteboda wrote: »
    June 25, 1745
    My dear Friend,
    I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. Your Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.

    But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

    1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.

    2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

    3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.

    4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

    5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding2 only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

    6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

    7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

    8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!
    Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend.

    -Benjamin Franklin

    That is amazing.
  • LiftHeavyThings27105
    LiftHeavyThings27105 Posts: 2,086 Member
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    Pardon the cliche, but age is indeed a just a number.

    I am 50. And I am WAY better than 25 years ago.

    I have a lot more life experiences. I have a lot more insight. I have seen a ton of things. I have met a ton of different kinds of people. I have overcome things that folks half my age have not yet experienced. I have way more confidence.

    Do I look (physically speaking) like I did when I was 25? No, ma'am! But, not that much different. Shoot! I would say that I look better now than at 25! And, I was in REALLY good shape back then.

    It's - to me, anyway - all about mindset. Confidence comes from within. Experience leads to interesting conversation. Attraction comes from confidence and interesting conversation. Well, let's just roll with that one. I REALLY like my chances against any 25 year old dude. Or, 30 or 35 of 40 of 45. HA! Not being boastful. Just being me.

    Anyway, mindset......that is key. For me, anyway.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,576 Member
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    whitpauly wrote: »
    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    whitpauly wrote: »
    I'm kind of lucky cuz I've never been "beautiful" teens and 20's I was too busy raising kids and being totally self conscious about weight,skin issues etc,now at 44(!!) On Thursday! I can honestly say that I feel more attractive now than in my youth,I get hit in by all ages but I think they sense my confidence and smart *kitten* personality and it's appealing, who knows, who cares cuz I've been married my hubs for 27 years so I don't pay much notice,I think being the best YOU is more attractive than just youth in general, the number does still bug me a bit though but as others have said,at least I'm alive haha

    I think that's pretty cool too. I don't have kids, was always overweight, and have always been pretty confident but I always knew I wasn't "the pretty one" and was fine with that. I liked being the funny one, smart one, nice one, whatever. My mom and her four sisters were GORGEOUS when they were in their teens, twenties and thirties. Like movie stars. My mom legit looked like the actress Andie MacDowell. While she's still a beautiful almost-67 year old, she's not dropping jaws in the same way and it kills her and she feels devastated by that loss of attention and constant praise for her looks. I feel like I'll never have those same types of issues, having never been given excessive attention based on looks - and while at 25 I may have felt jealous of it, now at 40, I'm really, really glad.

    This is exactly what I was thinking, you worded it better haha,I can't imagine not being able to age gracefully and mourning my youth and vanishing looks,my mom does that and it's made her act out throughout the years by trying to be younger than she is plus being depressed cuz she's aging

    Not everyone that was attractive when they were young is like this though. I was fit and attractive when I was younger. I know I could never look like that again and I'm not really sure I would want to if my fairy godmother suddenly showed up and offered to make it so. I'm cool with looking good "for my age". Life leaves it's scars and I like them.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    whitpauly wrote: »
    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    whitpauly wrote: »
    I'm kind of lucky cuz I've never been "beautiful" teens and 20's I was too busy raising kids and being totally self conscious about weight,skin issues etc,now at 44(!!) On Thursday! I can honestly say that I feel more attractive now than in my youth,I get hit in by all ages but I think they sense my confidence and smart *kitten* personality and it's appealing, who knows, who cares cuz I've been married my hubs for 27 years so I don't pay much notice,I think being the best YOU is more attractive than just youth in general, the number does still bug me a bit though but as others have said,at least I'm alive haha

    I think that's pretty cool too. I don't have kids, was always overweight, and have always been pretty confident but I always knew I wasn't "the pretty one" and was fine with that. I liked being the funny one, smart one, nice one, whatever. My mom and her four sisters were GORGEOUS when they were in their teens, twenties and thirties. Like movie stars. My mom legit looked like the actress Andie MacDowell. While she's still a beautiful almost-67 year old, she's not dropping jaws in the same way and it kills her and she feels devastated by that loss of attention and constant praise for her looks. I feel like I'll never have those same types of issues, having never been given excessive attention based on looks - and while at 25 I may have felt jealous of it, now at 40, I'm really, really glad.

    This is exactly what I was thinking, you worded it better haha,I can't imagine not being able to age gracefully and mourning my youth and vanishing looks,my mom does that and it's made her act out throughout the years by trying to be younger than she is plus being depressed cuz she's aging

    Not everyone that was attractive when they were young is like this though. I was fit and attractive when I was younger. I know I could never look like that again and I'm not really sure I would want to if my fairy godmother suddenly showed up and offered to make it so. I'm cool with looking good "for my age". Life leaves it's scars and I like them.

    That is a good point and very true. One of my close girlfriends was crazy hot as a teenager and she's a very pretty yet average woman of 40, now...not saying 40 is old, but she hasn't been the jawdropping Angelina Jolie meets Fairuza Balk lookalike since her second child was born years ago...and she's totally not bothered. I think a lot of times it depends on how people have determined their self-worth and value. She gets hers from being crazy smart and artistic.
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
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    There are a lot of things that come into play when talking about whether or not someone is attractive. Some of those are most definitely impacted by age. Many are not.

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