Anyone else receive disapproval from partner? Or have a S/O who believes false information?

When people use a term like CICO, they are usually talking about their understanding of what it means, rather than what CICO actually is. There's a danger in that. The calories in is pretty simple, the gateway is your mouth and the amount is measured in whatever you ingest.

The Calories Out is where things can get a little complicated. There is more than one way out - expended as energy in one of the body's many metabolic processes, or out the chute on the other end of the tube wrapped around your digestive tract that is your body.

How many calories end up in your poop is dependent upon a large range of factors, but it'll be whatever you didn't actually digest or absorb. Your gut microbiome plays a role in this, in addition the types of food you eat.

Most people, when they talk about CICO are usually referring to whatever the max possible calories are for food ingested, then whatever metabolic estimate they can come up with for calories out in terms of a resting rate and approximations for any exercise done.

It's a pretty good system and it'll guaranteed results when applied properly.

However, there are other ways to go about managing intake, weight, and etc. Long story short: CICO the way it's commonly understood works, but CICO means more than most people think it means and there are other ways to think about weight management.

As for your relationship, whenever two people disagree with their methods that are affecting each other, it's a pretty common type of friction/conflict. You may be looking for a resolution to that conflict, but perhaps what you should be looking for are coping mechanisms to continue having a relationship even when there is friction. Learn to order lower calorie meals in restaurants, for example, or switch to lower alcohol drinks and nurse them a little longer. That is, if you want to smooth over the difficulties. Communication can really help you navigate the disagreement, possibly where you can both settle on a compromise.

I've been the 'other' partner before that disagreed with the way my partner wanted to diet (too restrictive, short term results oriented). Part of the difficulty between us was that she didn't just want me to tolerate her method but she wanted me to agree with and support her ideas, which I did not and would not pretend to. I told her that was the fundamental issue - I didn't need her to agree with me, but that she needed me to agree with her. This led to an uneasy peace in which we side stepped the issue whenever possible, but that peace fell apart when her ideas started to backfire.

I think it's more important to build a stronger relationship than anything else (in the case of non-husband, maybe build a stronger relationship with somebody else). If that's not possible then you know where your relationship is stuck and it only goes downhill from there.

Copied over from another thread because it might help you out:

There are ways to eat out healthily. The phrases that will _really_ help you out:

"No Butter"
"On the side."
"Substitute for sauteed spinach."
"Hold the cheese."
"What are my calorie friendly options?"

A nice six ounce sirloin with two vegetable options minus the butter will only clock in around 500 calories or so.

AVOID THE BREAD. Or at least stop yourself

My husband believes "food combining" is a factor in a healthy diet. And that you shouldn't drink water during meals. And a lot of weird 1960s stuff he got from his dad.

My simple input would be to sit down with him and tell him what you are feeling. If he cares, he will listen. Doesn't mean he will like it! BUT! if he cares, he will let you say your peace.

Easy Compromise: Date night one night a week to wherever you guys want and eat what you want! Rest of the week, focus on you goals.

As a married woman I can tell you this: A spouse who shows some support will be one of the biggest motivations in your life.

Also an idea: Involve him! "Hey babe, I wanna try what you had mentioned. Can you help me meal plan this week?"

davidylin wrote: »

Copied over from another thread because it might help you out:

There are ways to eat out healthily. The phrases that will _really_ help you out:

"No Butter"
"On the side."
"Substitute for sauteed spinach."
"Hold the cheese."
"What are my calorie friendly options?"

A nice six ounce sirloin with two vegetable options minus the butter will only clock in around 500 calories or so.

AVOID THE BREAD. Or at least stop yourself

Another addition to this list, which others have mentioned but I find worth repeating, is "could I get a bag for the rest?" Also, "we'll split it." My husband was really resistant to splitting meals until I reminded him that we can always order more food if we're still hungry. Maybe even dessert! It turns out that we've both gotten really used to the idea that you don't have to eat a giant plate of whatever to be satisfied, and we actually don't end up with room for desert much either. And if I'm not splitting, I try to see if there's something on the menu I'd enjoy as leftovers. That 1000 calorie steak mentioned above would make at least two great meals!

My husband is the 'bro' type and comments here and there about my eating habits. I do CICO, and only focus on protein as far as macros go. If I EVER complain about my weight loss he'll be happy to remind me that the Hot Cheetos I ate the night before (ya know, the little bit that I weighed and counted for like a crazy person) probably are the reason. It used to be worse until I told him he was getting on my very last nerve. However, I never made it to where it was difficult for us to have an occasional night out. I can have my (whatever fits) meal and he can still eat whatever bro stuff he wants.

Is he doing it out of love for you, or simply because he's a douche?

ladyhusker39 wrote: »

This thread makes me so sad. I'm going to go hug my husband now and thank him for not being one of these people. My heart goes out to you all including the men with unsupportive wives. I'm sure they're here too.

I know, right? I don't know that I'd even say my husband was supportive of my weight loss. But he was certainly not unsupportive. It was my thing and he tolerated it like he does all my things he doesn't care about, and as I do his.

He did encourage me to stop weighing my food. Not because it bothered him but because he could see how much it bothered me.

BobbieSparks2 wrote: »

My Husband is very disapproving of me wanting to lose weight and doesn't like the thought of me lifting weights either. He does the same things to me on our date nights and gets very mad at me when I tell him that I can't have what he wants me to have when we eat. He tells me that I exercise to much and lift to often. He also recently told me that all my male friends (some I've known all my life) had to go and that he didn't want me talking to them anymore. Oh and just in case your wondering, no he's not over weight. He has a very muscular build. To be honest, we don't really look like we should be a couple.

Get rid! You have only one life. Chose how you want to live it.