Is this a well balanced diet?
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Alatariel75 wrote: »callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »ive lost 100 pounds and eat the same foods i always have.
not as MUCH as i used to, and i ate a pretty balanced diet to begin with.
And i eat chocolate every day. not in some weird shake form.
cause ... chocolate.
today i had a bacon egg and cheese biscuit. and philly cheesesteak. and chocolate.
earlier this week, dinners included chili, BBQ, an alfredo. and chocolate. (lunches are usually leftovers)
next weeks dinners include stuffed bell peppers, chicken and rice casserole, and .... whatever else i come up with.
learn to WEIGH your food on a food scale. Solids on the scale, liquids by the measuring cup or spoon. log it. eat it. stay within your calorie goals. lose weight.
done.
PS i lost about 3 pounds total this week.
PPS my calories are around 1200, but i can eat up to 1500 and still lose weight pretty consistently.
PPPS whatever you do, you have to make it a LIFESTYLE change. This has to be somethng you can continue with .... forever. I maintained my weight for a year without weighing a single thing. Why? because in the previous TWO YEARS, i learned how (mostly how MUCH) to eat. and what items have way more calories than you would think.
PSx4 lite ranch is gross. seriously gross lol. i LOVE ranch dressing. its gross. try the yogurt based ranches- so much better tasting and fewer calories than regular ranch (probably similar to light but actually tastes good) lolol
I want to be healthy, not just lose weight. Sure I can eat unhealthy foods in lower amounts, but it's not as healthy and then I starve throughout the day because I can only eat so little of them. I will still eat the random less healthy meal when I am out with friends, but at home I want it to be strictly healthy (for now).
Maintaining weight is a lot easier than losing weight, so after I lose the weight I will definitely be more relaxed about what I eat, but I definitely won't return to my old ways of living off pizza and chips. Just eating exclusively fresh food for 2 weeks made a VAST difference in energy for me.
I like how light ranch tastes. Maybe different brands?100 calorie muscle milks are a good option to get protein without the added calories of too many carbs in the drink.
Maybe consider finding a lower calorie salad dressing. Some light ranch dressings are surprisingly high in calorie.
As long as you are careful with portion sizes with nuts, that looks like a pretty well balanced diet.
These are 160 calories. I was worried about that but I am still under eating by nearly 500 calories a day. It actually seems hard to over eating when only eating healthy foods.
Untrue. That belief is why people gain it back. Maintaining is almost, if not as, hard as losing.
I didn't realize that this was true for so many people. I've been maintaining at goal for almost 6 years now and I think maintenance is way easier than losing. I mean, it's basically the same thing, except that in maintenance, I get more calories to enjoy - which is what makes it easier, IMO. I figured that people gained the weight back because they lost interest or shifted priorities and simply stopped putting in the basic effort to maintain. I didn't think it was because it was particularly tricky or difficult. Maybe my experience is atypical. Probably. I'm a bit of an oddball. This is enlightening to me. I honestly believed that maintenance was so much easier...
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Alatariel75 wrote: »callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »ive lost 100 pounds and eat the same foods i always have.
not as MUCH as i used to, and i ate a pretty balanced diet to begin with.
And i eat chocolate every day. not in some weird shake form.
cause ... chocolate.
today i had a bacon egg and cheese biscuit. and philly cheesesteak. and chocolate.
earlier this week, dinners included chili, BBQ, an alfredo. and chocolate. (lunches are usually leftovers)
next weeks dinners include stuffed bell peppers, chicken and rice casserole, and .... whatever else i come up with.
learn to WEIGH your food on a food scale. Solids on the scale, liquids by the measuring cup or spoon. log it. eat it. stay within your calorie goals. lose weight.
done.
PS i lost about 3 pounds total this week.
PPS my calories are around 1200, but i can eat up to 1500 and still lose weight pretty consistently.
PPPS whatever you do, you have to make it a LIFESTYLE change. This has to be somethng you can continue with .... forever. I maintained my weight for a year without weighing a single thing. Why? because in the previous TWO YEARS, i learned how (mostly how MUCH) to eat. and what items have way more calories than you would think.
PSx4 lite ranch is gross. seriously gross lol. i LOVE ranch dressing. its gross. try the yogurt based ranches- so much better tasting and fewer calories than regular ranch (probably similar to light but actually tastes good) lolol
I want to be healthy, not just lose weight. Sure I can eat unhealthy foods in lower amounts, but it's not as healthy and then I starve throughout the day because I can only eat so little of them. I will still eat the random less healthy meal when I am out with friends, but at home I want it to be strictly healthy (for now).
Maintaining weight is a lot easier than losing weight, so after I lose the weight I will definitely be more relaxed about what I eat, but I definitely won't return to my old ways of living off pizza and chips. Just eating exclusively fresh food for 2 weeks made a VAST difference in energy for me.
I like how light ranch tastes. Maybe different brands?100 calorie muscle milks are a good option to get protein without the added calories of too many carbs in the drink.
Maybe consider finding a lower calorie salad dressing. Some light ranch dressings are surprisingly high in calorie.
As long as you are careful with portion sizes with nuts, that looks like a pretty well balanced diet.
These are 160 calories. I was worried about that but I am still under eating by nearly 500 calories a day. It actually seems hard to over eating when only eating healthy foods.
Untrue. That belief is why people gain it back. Maintaining is almost, if not as, hard as losing.
I didn't realize that this was true for so many people. I've been maintaining at goal for almost 6 years now and I think maintenance is way easier than losing. I mean, it's basically the same thing, except that in maintenance, I get more calories to enjoy - which is what makes it easier, IMO. I figured that people gained the weight back because they lost interest or shifted priorities and simply stopped putting in the basic effort to maintain. I didn't think it was because it was particularly tricky or difficult. Maybe my experience is atypical. Probably. I'm a bit of an oddball. This is enlightening to me. I honestly believed that maintenance was so much easier...
Sorry, I should have specified for many people, not as a rule.0 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »ive lost 100 pounds and eat the same foods i always have.
not as MUCH as i used to, and i ate a pretty balanced diet to begin with.
And i eat chocolate every day. not in some weird shake form.
cause ... chocolate.
today i had a bacon egg and cheese biscuit. and philly cheesesteak. and chocolate.
earlier this week, dinners included chili, BBQ, an alfredo. and chocolate. (lunches are usually leftovers)
next weeks dinners include stuffed bell peppers, chicken and rice casserole, and .... whatever else i come up with.
learn to WEIGH your food on a food scale. Solids on the scale, liquids by the measuring cup or spoon. log it. eat it. stay within your calorie goals. lose weight.
done.
PS i lost about 3 pounds total this week.
PPS my calories are around 1200, but i can eat up to 1500 and still lose weight pretty consistently.
PPPS whatever you do, you have to make it a LIFESTYLE change. This has to be somethng you can continue with .... forever. I maintained my weight for a year without weighing a single thing. Why? because in the previous TWO YEARS, i learned how (mostly how MUCH) to eat. and what items have way more calories than you would think.
PSx4 lite ranch is gross. seriously gross lol. i LOVE ranch dressing. its gross. try the yogurt based ranches- so much better tasting and fewer calories than regular ranch (probably similar to light but actually tastes good) lolol
I want to be healthy, not just lose weight. Sure I can eat unhealthy foods in lower amounts, but it's not as healthy and then I starve throughout the day because I can only eat so little of them. I will still eat the random less healthy meal when I am out with friends, but at home I want it to be strictly healthy (for now).
Maintaining weight is a lot easier than losing weight, so after I lose the weight I will definitely be more relaxed about what I eat, but I definitely won't return to my old ways of living off pizza and chips. Just eating exclusively fresh food for 2 weeks made a VAST difference in energy for me.
I like how light ranch tastes. Maybe different brands?100 calorie muscle milks are a good option to get protein without the added calories of too many carbs in the drink.
Maybe consider finding a lower calorie salad dressing. Some light ranch dressings are surprisingly high in calorie.
As long as you are careful with portion sizes with nuts, that looks like a pretty well balanced diet.
These are 160 calories. I was worried about that but I am still under eating by nearly 500 calories a day. It actually seems hard to over eating when only eating healthy foods.
Untrue. That belief is why people gain it back. Maintaining is almost, if not as, hard as losing.
I didn't realize that this was true for so many people. I've been maintaining at goal for almost 6 years now and I think maintenance is way easier than losing. I mean, it's basically the same thing, except that in maintenance, I get more calories to enjoy - which is what makes it easier, IMO. I figured that people gained the weight back because they lost interest or shifted priorities and simply stopped putting in the basic effort to maintain. I didn't think it was because it was particularly tricky or difficult. Maybe my experience is atypical. Probably. I'm a bit of an oddball. This is enlightening to me. I honestly believed that maintenance was so much easier...
Sorry, I should have specified for many people, not as a rule.
Well, no. You're probably right. It probably is difficult for most. I just didn't realize that so many people struggled with it so much. I just figured people just stopped bothering once they got to goal, because it seems so straightforward to me. Losing was such a PITA I just don't want to ever have to do it again, so I maintain so I never have to lose again. But it's not so straightforward for everyone. People are more complicated than that!
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I didn't realize that this was true for so many people. I've been maintaining at goal for almost 6 years now and I think maintenance is way easier than losing. I mean, it's basically the same thing, except that in maintenance, I get more calories to enjoy - which is what makes it easier, IMO. I figured that people gained the weight back because they lost interest or shifted priorities and simply stopped putting in the basic effort to maintain. I didn't think it was because it was particularly tricky or difficult. Maybe my experience is atypical. Probably. I'm a bit of an oddball. This is enlightening to me. I honestly believed that maintenance was so much easier...
It definitely seems to vary by person.
After I lost weight, it took me YEARS to put it back on and I was eating 5000-6000 calories a day. I was super lazy, and sitting in a chair 12+ hours a day. The odds were completely stacked against me and I still barely gained 1/2 a pound a month. I just got into lazy habits, extremely poor diets, and kept that way for an entire decade.
I'd imagine as you get older, it gets harder to maintain. Those were my 20s. I am 31 now, so maybe maintaining will be harder, but I never plan to go back to 5000-6000 calories a day.
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Granny sez: Your severe undereating is far more unhealthy for you than some of the food choices you're rejecting (such as white bread).
This is quintuply true if you truly were eating 5000+ calories a day and only gaining a half pound monthly.
If those stats are true: Your actual TDEE would be 4900+ calories (1/4 of 1/2 pound excess eating weekly x 3500 calories per pound = 438 (rounded) calorie excess calories weekly, divided by 7 days = 63 calorie daily excess, subtract from 5000 eaten daily for a 4937 TDEE). Your deficit (on 1100) would be around 3837 daily (4937 - 1100), and you'd be losing over a pound a day (7.7 a week), which is extremely not healthy unless you weigh over 700 pounds. (I have doubts about the stats, but that's the math, if I'm doing it right . . . not my strong suit, but if I blew it someone better at it will correct me.)
Even if MFP is right and your NEAT (or TDEE) is 2500-2700, eating 1100 is going to have you losing 2.8+ pounds a week. If you currently weigh close to 300, that deficit would be OK, but if you weigh less then eating 1100 is still unhealthier than having a couple of slices of good quality white bread daily.
Seriously.
I totally get your desire to make healthier choices. Please do!
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maryannprt wrote: »If you're concerned about getting enough calories, think about adding a few nuts to your oatmeal or salad (in addition to your snack of nuts) do you not like yogurt or cottage cheese? I mostly use 2% or full fat rather than no fat. I think the no fat is gross and a little fat helps me feel full longer. Recent studies show saturated fat is ok in moderation. Also you can use a little olive oil when you roast or pan fry your fish or chicken or veg.. If these are the foods you like, go for it. Also whatever fruit or veg is in season I like to try new things when I can. We had delicata squash for the 1st time the other day. Yummy. Also if you can have it in the house without eating the whole thing a little piece of chocolate or some other treat goes a long way. I don't keep chips in the house because I WILL eat them. Chocolate I can do.
Excellent idea, never thought of that.. Thanks!
I like yogurt, hate cottage cheese. I've read full fat yogurt is the way to go and might be a way for me to fill the low-fat foods I currently have in this list. I love squash as well, but only when I coat it in butter and cinnamon.
As far as I can tell I am vastly under eating. 800-1100 calories a day, and the website wants me to eat about 1500-1700 calories to lose 2 pounds a week.
Eat more.
How tall are you and how much do you weigh?
You should only be aiming to lose 2 lbs a week if you are extremely overweight.
No matter what you weigh, if you're 700-900 calories under MFP's recommendation, you are doing it badly wrong.
Male, 6'1 and 256 pounds. Doctor said he'd like to see me at 165-170 (though I think those numbers assume very little muscle mass?).
Squash with cinnamon and butter sounds like a great, healthy way to get your calories and fats up. What's unhealthy about it?2 -
Also, what about beans and legumes, maybe a little hummus to eat with your carrots and cucumbers. There are tons of great chili or bean soup recipes. What about tortillas or wraps? Lots of whole grain options if you want to avoid white. What many people are concerned about is you seem to be limiting what foods you are "allowing" yourself to eat. Limiting yourself too much can lead to binges. Food is meant to be enjoyed. If you like squash, try butternut or delicata, cut in about 1/2-1" cubes, toss with a little olive oil, and roast in the oven until it gets nice and toasty around the edges. Sprinkle with a little salt and cinnamon or nutmeg, I'll bet you won't even miss the butter. I don't, and I LOVE me some butter on winter squash. Good luck!1
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maryannprt wrote: »Also, what about beans and legumes, maybe a little hummus to eat with your carrots and cucumbers. There are tons of great chili or bean soup recipes. What about tortillas or wraps? Lots of whole grain options if you want to avoid white. What many people are concerned about is you seem to be limiting what foods you are "allowing" yourself to eat. Limiting yourself too much can lead to binges. Food is meant to be enjoyed. If you like squash, try butternut or delicata, cut in about 1/2-1" cubes, toss with a little olive oil, and roast in the oven until it gets nice and toasty around the edges. Sprinkle with a little salt and cinnamon or nutmeg, I'll bet you won't even miss the butter. I don't, and I LOVE me some butter on winter squash. Good luck!
Doesn't adding oil achieve the same thing as adding butter (added fats, great taste, more caramelisation)?6 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »Untrue. That belief is why people gain it back. Maintaining is almost, if not as, hard as losing.
I can eat nearly 1000 more calories a day to maintain my weight versus wanting to lose 2 pounds a week. How would it be untrue?
It's only untrue if you just start ignoring your calorie intake completely again, and go back to your old ways that got you there in the first place.livingleanlivingclean wrote: »If that was the case, then why do so many people manage to lose weight only to gain it all back (usually plus a bit more)?
Most find maintenance more difficult, and you dont get that many more calories to play with.
I'd add more fats to your diet - oils, full fat dairy, avo, nut butter etc. What about grains and legumes? (rice, quinoa, pasta, bread, beans, lentils)
If you struggle to get enough calories, pre log your meals and make them fit your goal
See above. Many people start ignoring calories completely after they lose their weight, and go back to the exact old habits they had. Maintaining weight is far easier, you can eat a lot more calories than dieting, but you can't just ignore them and go back to your old ways.
I also noticed a lack of "fat" in this diet, but wasn't really sure what to add. I'll look into some healthy fat foods, thanks.Eat enough of this to make up the calories 1500-1700 MFP gave you to lose weight. Absolutely no need to use a Meal Replacement Shake especially if you are under eating. And the consuming it 40 minutes after exercise is not necessary either. You can get all your protein through food by eating the protein sources you listed in your OP.
I've started to drink them with meals on some days to fulfill my protein needs, and help me get closer to 1500-1700 calories a day. I like how they taste, and they fulfill my cravings for chocolate. I may just eat more and take them out of the diet.Tried30UserNames wrote: »It looks like a good selection of foods to me. If you are lacking in calories, use full fat milk instead of skim. Use regular dressing instead of light ranch. Cook the meat in some butter or oil, and drizzle the vegetables with same. I'd probably prefer sweet potatoes and legumes over regular potatoes for a starch, but that's just personal preference.
Great ideas, thanks. Should help me get some more "fat" in the diet too, since I wasn't getting enough of that either according to the site.rheddmobile wrote: »Are these the foods you most enjoy and want to eat? Do you like cooking these foods? There's nothing wrong with this list except that it's a little bit boring. If it helps you to eat a boring diet, that's great. If it helps you to eat more variety, do that instead. The best diet is the one you stick to long term.
I picked these based on foods I like. I find if I have even 1 serving of something I REALLY like (pizza, etc), it becomes very hard to maintain my diet. It's easier for me to just cut them out of my life completely.
Right now I have a frozen stuffed crust pizza STARING me down in the freezer. I can't control myself when it comes to that stuff, and I am in the process of just giving this stuff to friends/family so I am not tempted.
I'm so happy for you that you've begun! Congratulations on the 5 pounds lost! Please do what you think you need to do to guard your sanity. Don't let anyone tell you you're wrong to limit your food choices. You know best what you need. And take comfort in the fact that it's just for now - till you're stronger in your eating habits.
11 months ago I began doing a very similar diet to the one you've listed, with a wide variety of veggies. I use a bit of olive oil on my veggies, and I added plain Greek yogurt, nut butter and red meat.
Since I was trying to reprogram my brain to crave healthy foods, I eliminated everything that seemed to bring on cravings for sweets. For me, this meant no grains, no added sugars, and fewer than 100 carbs per day. Not everyone reacts this way, but for me, it made dieting easier. I'm happy to say that after almost a year I'm down 70 pounds and my habits and thought patterns have changed dramatically. I can now eat some grains and potatoes again without diving into a binge, but I'm not ready to test the added sugar yet. For my sweet fix, I like the Quest protein bar, chocolate chunk. I'm not telling you to eat like this, just giving you an example of how one person found success.
For some people, it's hard to go straight from disordered eating to moderated eating. Some of us need a short (or long) detour into a very restricted diet in order to encourage and develop good eating habits and thought patterns.
Whatever you do, don't lose hope that you can see this through and live as a thin person the rest of your life! What you believe is so important!2 -
livingleanlivingclean wrote: »maryannprt wrote: »Also, what about beans and legumes, maybe a little hummus to eat with your carrots and cucumbers. There are tons of great chili or bean soup recipes. What about tortillas or wraps? Lots of whole grain options if you want to avoid white. What many people are concerned about is you seem to be limiting what foods you are "allowing" yourself to eat. Limiting yourself too much can lead to binges. Food is meant to be enjoyed. If you like squash, try butternut or delicata, cut in about 1/2-1" cubes, toss with a little olive oil, and roast in the oven until it gets nice and toasty around the edges. Sprinkle with a little salt and cinnamon or nutmeg, I'll bet you won't even miss the butter. I don't, and I LOVE me some butter on winter squash. Good luck!
Doesn't adding oil achieve the same thing as adding butter (added fats, great taste, more caramelisation)?
Of course. Maybe I'm overthinking what the OP says, but it sounds like he doesn't want to eat winter squash with butter, so this is another option. Adds a few calories, adds a little fat, which we all need, and adds a food to his rather limited list.0 -
Regarding your opening post, it's ok to start with that supply, and it's more than ok to add stuff to it in the second and subsequent weeks.
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Granny sez: Your severe undereating is far more unhealthy for you than some of the food choices you're rejecting (such as white bread).
This is quintuply true if you truly were eating 5000+ calories a day and only gaining a half pound monthly.
If those stats are true: Your actual TDEE would be 4900+ calories (1/4 of 1/2 pound excess eating weekly x 3500 calories per pound = 438 (rounded) calorie excess calories weekly, divided by 7 days = 63 calorie daily excess, subtract from 5000 eaten daily for a 4937 TDEE). Your deficit (on 1100) would be around 3837 daily (4937 - 1100), and you'd be losing over a pound a day (7.7 a week), which is extremely not healthy unless you weigh over 700 pounds. (I have doubts about the stats, but that's the math, if I'm doing it right . . . not my strong suit, but if I blew it someone better at it will correct me.)
Even if MFP is right and your NEAT (or TDEE) is 2500-2700, eating 1100 is going to have you losing 2.8+ pounds a week. If you currently weigh close to 300, that deficit would be OK, but if you weigh less then eating 1100 is still unhealthier than having a couple of slices of good quality white bread daily.
Seriously.
I totally get your desire to make healthier choices. Please do!
I think you are right because I seem to be losing weight very suddenly now, (3 pounds over the last 3 days). Going to definitely start eating larger proportions, and I am going to get some full fat yogurt because I am getting almost no fat in this diet.
I absolutely don't want to lose it faster than 2 pounds a week. Not only for health reasons, but I don't want to be stuck with loose skin from losing 90 pounds quickly.maryannprt wrote: »Of course. Maybe I'm overthinking what the OP says, but it sounds like he doesn't want to eat winter squash with butter, so this is another option. Adds a few calories, adds a little fat, which we all need, and adds a food to his rather limited list.
I've actually been cooking my chicken/broccoli/carrots with olive oil. I am not a fan of raw veggies, so I usually cook them.
I'm not against eating squash with butter as long as I maintain my calorie goal, something like that isn't "addictive" to me... so I may get some squash. Right now I am going to bed and I'm still 1000 calories away from my daily goal.. so I definitely need to eat more tomorrow.
It is incredible how much healthy food you can eat and still stay under 1000 calories. What's weird is I am not even hungry most the time. Daily exercise seems to drastically cut my appetite.
I look at one of the things I use to eat 3-4x a day, and it's 1000-1500 calories by itself. Embarrassing.YepItsKriss wrote: »This thread is interesting...
in some ways the OP reminds me of me... well.. the old me..
sitting at 300 pounds, wanting to lose the weight, motivated to do it, positive intentions at heart.
I would get rid of the junk food, all of it, and start from scratch, filling the fridge with fresh fruits and veggies, whole foods.. my motivation would carry me through for a little while.. but life reminds us that while we can make some pretty big changes, its not going to change with us.
you wouldn't believe how many times i wanted to just be that person who could forever just eat the healthiest things ever and be happy with that. In fact i was so convinced i was going to be able to do this, that even the concept of another possibility or outcome seemed impossible, i mean, why would something different happen when i am so determined and committed right now. I am not weak, I can do anything i set my mind to, no one will deter me from my path and goals.
wanna know who deterred me the most? me.
because even though my desire was to be healthy and only give myself nutritious foods... deep down, i am still me.
I love chocolate. When i smell someone cooking with a BBQ in the summer, I wanna sit down with a juicy cheese burger and soda and experience that. I wanna see the melted cheese drip off that piece of pizza or lasagna. I wanna pair it up with some garlic bread and pretend i am in Italy.
Wanna know what wears thin after a while.. no personal enjoyment. I mean, yeah, i make some pretty darn tasty meals with the healthy food, nothing is ever bland, i am creative, I own more seasonings from Epicure and clubhouse and hot mamas then one human should own. But in the end.. its not chocolate. Its not a cheeseburger, its not pizza or lasagna..
and ultimately, since i did not leave myself open to the concept that i could lose weight and be just as healthy with these foods in my life, i lost some weight.. but... back on it came, even tho i didn't want it to, i didn't just say "oh well, id rather have pizza and be fat"... it was "God i want this pizza..." and then i eat the pizza and felt guilty, how could i do that to myself? and that just snowballed into me regaining what i lost. It got me back to being an unhealthier diabetic, to waking up every day surprised my blood sugars didn't put me in a coma.
so.. fast forward a bit.. i rejoined MFP.. as i spent time on these forums, just reading.. i never commented, i read a lot of things.. and i changed my approach, because.. it was time for me to be honest with myself.. no matter how many times i start from scratch, i need this start to be a realistic one, and a realistic one was learning how to eat all the foods that i ate too much of and made me fat and unhealthy within my calories.
The results were a 165 pound loss paired with no longer having diabetes. Like at all. I don't even need to check my sugars at all. All my blood work markers come back perfect. I achieved what i call a realistic healthy. It wasn't that same version of healthy i started with, but were my results disappointing? Definitely not.
Only you know you, but sometimes motivation can mask our true weaknesses.
sometimes the way to a goal comes from walking a different path then the one way on the right or the one way off to the left.
Maintenance isn't any easier then losing. The reason is is that with weight loss you will always have that deficit, that buffer to cushion your fall.. if you mess up, maybe log something incorrectly and notice the error after youve eaten it, you have that cushion to bounce you back.. with maintenance, you have nothing, its either maintain or gain, so you gotta be responsible and more vigilant, if your weight loss plan isn't something that you will be able to stick to once motivation stops carrying you, then your plan will not be carrying you through the years and years of maintenance.
165 pounds, wow good job! I also joined this site to get some motivation. Daily goals help me going, otherwise it just becomes a mindless grind to lose weight and easy to lose motivation.
I am 31 and feel like I either lose this weight soon and get healthy, or it'll be with me until I die. My mom is very overweight, and she has health problems that prevent her from exercising. She uses it as an excuse to not lose weight/diet, and I don't want that to be me.
Time is ticking, and it'd be nice to be in a relationship/married before I get too old. It's really hard to get attention when you are 90 pounds overweight!
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Nutritionally, yes this is a balanced diet. Socially/psychologically/adherence-wise, that's for you to answer but it wouldn't be a balanced diet for me. More goes into and affects ability to lose weight than simply picking things that sound healthy to you - in fact that's almost irrelevant to lasting weight loss. To know if this is a balanced diet when it comes to living your life ask yourself: do I like this food? Would it be relatively easy for me to eat this way? Do I have strategies in place that would make it easy for me keep eating this way even if busy/lazy or would it stress me out? What are my strategies for social eating and how do I plan to stick to these foods in a social setting, would it be worth it? And lastly, do I see myself eating this way for the rest of my life?
Balance needs to be found in all aspects of how your life relates to your eating, not just in nutritional aspects, because how you conduct your life has just as much effect on your ability to keep calories balanced as the nutritional value of your food, if not more.
ETA: just noticed your calorie intake. Forget everything I said above and start with that. NO DIET THAT HAS YOU SEVERELY UNDEREATING IS BALANCED. No matter how much you tell yourself it is. If that means shoving cookies into your gullet all day then so be it (such measures are rarely needed since you already know how to overeat). Find a way to hit your calorie goal first and foremost then move on to modifying other things if you wish.15 -
Granny sez: Your severe undereating is far more unhealthy for you than some of the food choices you're rejecting (such as white bread).
This is quintuply true if you truly were eating 5000+ calories a day and only gaining a half pound monthly.
If those stats are true: Your actual TDEE would be 4900+ calories (1/4 of 1/2 pound excess eating weekly x 3500 calories per pound = 438 (rounded) calorie excess calories weekly, divided by 7 days = 63 calorie daily excess, subtract from 5000 eaten daily for a 4937 TDEE). Your deficit (on 1100) would be around 3837 daily (4937 - 1100), and you'd be losing over a pound a day (7.7 a week), which is extremely not healthy unless you weigh over 700 pounds. (I have doubts about the stats, but that's the math, if I'm doing it right . . . not my strong suit, but if I blew it someone better at it will correct me.)
Even if MFP is right and your NEAT (or TDEE) is 2500-2700, eating 1100 is going to have you losing 2.8+ pounds a week. If you currently weigh close to 300, that deficit would be OK, but if you weigh less then eating 1100 is still unhealthier than having a couple of slices of good quality white bread daily.
Seriously.
I totally get your desire to make healthier choices. Please do!
I think you are right because I seem to be losing weight very suddenly now, (3 pounds over the last 3 days). Going to definitely start eating larger proportions, and I am going to get some full fat yogurt because I am getting almost no fat in this diet.maryannprt wrote: »Of course. Maybe I'm overthinking what the OP says, but it sounds like he doesn't want to eat winter squash with butter, so this is another option. Adds a few calories, adds a little fat, which we all need, and adds a food to his rather limited list.
I've actually been cooking my chicken/broccoli/carrots with olive oil. I am not a fan of raw veggies, so I usually cook them.
I'm not against eating squash with butter as long as I maintain my calorie goal, something like that isn't "addictive" to me... so I may get some squash. Right now I am going to bed and I'm still 1000 calories away from my daily goal.. so I definitely need to eat more tomorrow.
It is incredible how much healthy food you can eat and still stay under 1000 calories. What's weird is I am not even hungry most the time. Daily exercise seems to drastically cut my appetite.
I look at one of the things I use to eat 3-4x a day, and it's 1000-1500 calories by itself. Embarrassing.
Before you edited your post, you mentioned being under in fats and over sugar.
I would recommend seeing the fat goal as a minimum - if you aren't even eating the minimum, you're depriving your body of essential nutrition. Sugar is not something you need to worry about as your limited food choices will be providing natural sugars. Again, eating too little is less healthy than eating enough by adding calories from other food choices.
1000 calories of food is not much. Stop pretending to yourself that what you're doing is healthy and sufficient.11 -
livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Granny sez: Your severe undereating is far more unhealthy for you than some of the food choices you're rejecting (such as white bread).
This is quintuply true if you truly were eating 5000+ calories a day and only gaining a half pound monthly.
If those stats are true: Your actual TDEE would be 4900+ calories (1/4 of 1/2 pound excess eating weekly x 3500 calories per pound = 438 (rounded) calorie excess calories weekly, divided by 7 days = 63 calorie daily excess, subtract from 5000 eaten daily for a 4937 TDEE). Your deficit (on 1100) would be around 3837 daily (4937 - 1100), and you'd be losing over a pound a day (7.7 a week), which is extremely not healthy unless you weigh over 700 pounds. (I have doubts about the stats, but that's the math, if I'm doing it right . . . not my strong suit, but if I blew it someone better at it will correct me.)
Even if MFP is right and your NEAT (or TDEE) is 2500-2700, eating 1100 is going to have you losing 2.8+ pounds a week. If you currently weigh close to 300, that deficit would be OK, but if you weigh less then eating 1100 is still unhealthier than having a couple of slices of good quality white bread daily.
Seriously.
I totally get your desire to make healthier choices. Please do!
I think you are right because I seem to be losing weight very suddenly now, (3 pounds over the last 3 days). Going to definitely start eating larger proportions, and I am going to get some full fat yogurt because I am getting almost no fat in this diet.maryannprt wrote: »Of course. Maybe I'm overthinking what the OP says, but it sounds like he doesn't want to eat winter squash with butter, so this is another option. Adds a few calories, adds a little fat, which we all need, and adds a food to his rather limited list.
I've actually been cooking my chicken/broccoli/carrots with olive oil. I am not a fan of raw veggies, so I usually cook them.
I'm not against eating squash with butter as long as I maintain my calorie goal, something like that isn't "addictive" to me... so I may get some squash. Right now I am going to bed and I'm still 1000 calories away from my daily goal.. so I definitely need to eat more tomorrow.
It is incredible how much healthy food you can eat and still stay under 1000 calories. What's weird is I am not even hungry most the time. Daily exercise seems to drastically cut my appetite.
I look at one of the things I use to eat 3-4x a day, and it's 1000-1500 calories by itself. Embarrassing.
Before you edited your post, you mentioned being under in fats and over sugar.
I would recommend seeing the fat goal as a minimum - if you aren't even eating the minimum, you're depriving your body of essential nutrition. Sugar is not something you need to worry about as your limited food choices will be providing natural sugars. Again, eating too little is less healthy than eating enough by adding calories from other food choices.
1000 calories of food is not much. Stop pretending to yourself that what you're doing is healthy and sufficient.
Exactly. You are so hung up on the food you eat being "healthy" but you're ignoring the fact that the amount of calories you're eating is far, far more unhealthy than eating any individual type of food is.14 -
livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Granny sez: Your severe undereating is far more unhealthy for you than some of the food choices you're rejecting (such as white bread).
This is quintuply true if you truly were eating 5000+ calories a day and only gaining a half pound monthly.
If those stats are true: Your actual TDEE would be 4900+ calories (1/4 of 1/2 pound excess eating weekly x 3500 calories per pound = 438 (rounded) calorie excess calories weekly, divided by 7 days = 63 calorie daily excess, subtract from 5000 eaten daily for a 4937 TDEE). Your deficit (on 1100) would be around 3837 daily (4937 - 1100), and you'd be losing over a pound a day (7.7 a week), which is extremely not healthy unless you weigh over 700 pounds. (I have doubts about the stats, but that's the math, if I'm doing it right . . . not my strong suit, but if I blew it someone better at it will correct me.)
Even if MFP is right and your NEAT (or TDEE) is 2500-2700, eating 1100 is going to have you losing 2.8+ pounds a week. If you currently weigh close to 300, that deficit would be OK, but if you weigh less then eating 1100 is still unhealthier than having a couple of slices of good quality white bread daily.
Seriously.
I totally get your desire to make healthier choices. Please do!
I think you are right because I seem to be losing weight very suddenly now, (3 pounds over the last 3 days). Going to definitely start eating larger proportions, and I am going to get some full fat yogurt because I am getting almost no fat in this diet.maryannprt wrote: »Of course. Maybe I'm overthinking what the OP says, but it sounds like he doesn't want to eat winter squash with butter, so this is another option. Adds a few calories, adds a little fat, which we all need, and adds a food to his rather limited list.
I've actually been cooking my chicken/broccoli/carrots with olive oil. I am not a fan of raw veggies, so I usually cook them.
I'm not against eating squash with butter as long as I maintain my calorie goal, something like that isn't "addictive" to me... so I may get some squash. Right now I am going to bed and I'm still 1000 calories away from my daily goal.. so I definitely need to eat more tomorrow.
It is incredible how much healthy food you can eat and still stay under 1000 calories. What's weird is I am not even hungry most the time. Daily exercise seems to drastically cut my appetite.
I look at one of the things I use to eat 3-4x a day, and it's 1000-1500 calories by itself. Embarrassing.
Before you edited your post, you mentioned being under in fats and over sugar.
I would recommend seeing the fat goal as a minimum - if you aren't even eating the minimum, you're depriving your body of essential nutrition. Sugar is not something you need to worry about as your limited food choices will be providing natural sugars. Again, eating too little is less healthy than eating enough by adding calories from other food choices.
1000 calories of food is not much. Stop pretending to yourself that what you're doing is healthy and sufficient.
I must have actually deleted it in the multi-quoting. Yes I am under in fats but right at the goal for sugar.
I don't think I ever pretended that this was healthy, I know it's bad and I am going to fix it. I just started this diet a week ago, joined the site yesterday, and expected my calories intake to be higher. Tomorrow I will eat nearly double what I currently am. I only ate ~1082 calories today, and that's also with 350 calories loss in exercise.Alatariel75 wrote: »livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Granny sez: Your severe undereating is far more unhealthy for you than some of the food choices you're rejecting (such as white bread).
This is quintuply true if you truly were eating 5000+ calories a day and only gaining a half pound monthly.
If those stats are true: Your actual TDEE would be 4900+ calories (1/4 of 1/2 pound excess eating weekly x 3500 calories per pound = 438 (rounded) calorie excess calories weekly, divided by 7 days = 63 calorie daily excess, subtract from 5000 eaten daily for a 4937 TDEE). Your deficit (on 1100) would be around 3837 daily (4937 - 1100), and you'd be losing over a pound a day (7.7 a week), which is extremely not healthy unless you weigh over 700 pounds. (I have doubts about the stats, but that's the math, if I'm doing it right . . . not my strong suit, but if I blew it someone better at it will correct me.)
Even if MFP is right and your NEAT (or TDEE) is 2500-2700, eating 1100 is going to have you losing 2.8+ pounds a week. If you currently weigh close to 300, that deficit would be OK, but if you weigh less then eating 1100 is still unhealthier than having a couple of slices of good quality white bread daily.
Seriously.
I totally get your desire to make healthier choices. Please do!
I think you are right because I seem to be losing weight very suddenly now, (3 pounds over the last 3 days). Going to definitely start eating larger proportions, and I am going to get some full fat yogurt because I am getting almost no fat in this diet.maryannprt wrote: »Of course. Maybe I'm overthinking what the OP says, but it sounds like he doesn't want to eat winter squash with butter, so this is another option. Adds a few calories, adds a little fat, which we all need, and adds a food to his rather limited list.
I've actually been cooking my chicken/broccoli/carrots with olive oil. I am not a fan of raw veggies, so I usually cook them.
I'm not against eating squash with butter as long as I maintain my calorie goal, something like that isn't "addictive" to me... so I may get some squash. Right now I am going to bed and I'm still 1000 calories away from my daily goal.. so I definitely need to eat more tomorrow.
It is incredible how much healthy food you can eat and still stay under 1000 calories. What's weird is I am not even hungry most the time. Daily exercise seems to drastically cut my appetite.
I look at one of the things I use to eat 3-4x a day, and it's 1000-1500 calories by itself. Embarrassing.
Before you edited your post, you mentioned being under in fats and over sugar.
I would recommend seeing the fat goal as a minimum - if you aren't even eating the minimum, you're depriving your body of essential nutrition. Sugar is not something you need to worry about as your limited food choices will be providing natural sugars. Again, eating too little is less healthy than eating enough by adding calories from other food choices.
1000 calories of food is not much. Stop pretending to yourself that what you're doing is healthy and sufficient.
Exactly. You are so hung up on the food you eat being "healthy" but you're ignoring the fact that the amount of calories you're eating is far, far more unhealthy than eating any individual type of food is.
Let's cool out a bit, I know this, which is one of the reasons why I made the thread (and included my concern in the first post).
This is a brand new diet and I am making a huge adjustment from eating 5000-6000 calories a day for years. I wasn't going to get it perfectly right off the bat, especially since I wasn't tracking my calories until yesterday.
I will make adjustments until I get use to the new proportion sizes. I will get some higher-fat foods tomorrow at the store. I went too far because I didn't realize how calorie-lacking fresh fruits/veggies are. I fill up on them, and then it's only like 200 calories.
2 -
165 pounds, wow good job! I also joined this site to get some motivation. Daily goals help me going, otherwise it just becomes a mindless grind to lose weight and easy to lose motivation.
Then that's exactly what will happen. Loss of motivation is pretty much a given and one of the reasons people fail to lose/maintain weight. You need habits, not motivation. You need to make it a mindless daily thing that just happens for the most part, and the parts that you can't make mindless and automatic need to be mindful where you're aware of your calorie balance when needed. Knowing exactly what to expect will help you decide if you want to lose weight or not, because it's not a "rah rah all the time" kind of thing.8 -
livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Granny sez: Your severe undereating is far more unhealthy for you than some of the food choices you're rejecting (such as white bread).
This is quintuply true if you truly were eating 5000+ calories a day and only gaining a half pound monthly.
If those stats are true: Your actual TDEE would be 4900+ calories (1/4 of 1/2 pound excess eating weekly x 3500 calories per pound = 438 (rounded) calorie excess calories weekly, divided by 7 days = 63 calorie daily excess, subtract from 5000 eaten daily for a 4937 TDEE). Your deficit (on 1100) would be around 3837 daily (4937 - 1100), and you'd be losing over a pound a day (7.7 a week), which is extremely not healthy unless you weigh over 700 pounds. (I have doubts about the stats, but that's the math, if I'm doing it right . . . not my strong suit, but if I blew it someone better at it will correct me.)
Even if MFP is right and your NEAT (or TDEE) is 2500-2700, eating 1100 is going to have you losing 2.8+ pounds a week. If you currently weigh close to 300, that deficit would be OK, but if you weigh less then eating 1100 is still unhealthier than having a couple of slices of good quality white bread daily.
Seriously.
I totally get your desire to make healthier choices. Please do!
I think you are right because I seem to be losing weight very suddenly now, (3 pounds over the last 3 days). Going to definitely start eating larger proportions, and I am going to get some full fat yogurt because I am getting almost no fat in this diet.maryannprt wrote: »Of course. Maybe I'm overthinking what the OP says, but it sounds like he doesn't want to eat winter squash with butter, so this is another option. Adds a few calories, adds a little fat, which we all need, and adds a food to his rather limited list.
I've actually been cooking my chicken/broccoli/carrots with olive oil. I am not a fan of raw veggies, so I usually cook them.
I'm not against eating squash with butter as long as I maintain my calorie goal, something like that isn't "addictive" to me... so I may get some squash. Right now I am going to bed and I'm still 1000 calories away from my daily goal.. so I definitely need to eat more tomorrow.
It is incredible how much healthy food you can eat and still stay under 1000 calories. What's weird is I am not even hungry most the time. Daily exercise seems to drastically cut my appetite.
I look at one of the things I use to eat 3-4x a day, and it's 1000-1500 calories by itself. Embarrassing.
Before you edited your post, you mentioned being under in fats and over sugar.
I would recommend seeing the fat goal as a minimum - if you aren't even eating the minimum, you're depriving your body of essential nutrition. Sugar is not something you need to worry about as your limited food choices will be providing natural sugars. Again, eating too little is less healthy than eating enough by adding calories from other food choices.
1000 calories of food is not much. Stop pretending to yourself that what you're doing is healthy and sufficient.
I must have actually deleted it in the multi-quoting. Yes I am under in fats but right at the goal for sugar.
I don't think I ever pretended that this was healthy, I know it's bad and I am going to fix it. I just started this diet a week ago, joined the site yesterday, and expected my calories intake to be higher. Tomorrow I will eat nearly double what I currently am. I only ate ~1082 calories today, and that's also with 350 calories loss in exercise.
do you have a reason to avoid sugar? if not, don't even worry about the sugar - it's not even a macronutrient, just a subset of carbohydrates. you might be better off swapping that nutritional column for fibre.
for today, get some nuts, or peanut butter and eat those. drink a protein shake. better still, make yourself some oats with the protein milk, add fruit and nuts.0 -
This content has been removed.
-
amusedmonkey wrote: »
165 pounds, wow good job! I also joined this site to get some motivation. Daily goals help me going, otherwise it just becomes a mindless grind to lose weight and easy to lose motivation.
Then that's exactly what will happen. Loss of motivation is pretty much a given and one of the reasons people fail to lose/maintain weight. You need habits, not motivation. You need to make it a mindless daily thing that just happens for the most part, and the parts that you can't make mindless and automatic need to be mindful where you're aware of your calorie balance when needed. Knowing exactly what to expect will help you decide if you want to lose weight or not, because it's not a "rah rah all the time" kind of thing.
I always complete goals I set for myself, it's probably my strongest trait. Personal goals have been my motivation for my entire life, without them I would honestly just quit my job and give up on everything. I cannot focus on mindless tasks unless I make a "game" or "goal" out of it. Everyone is different.
Sites like this help me set goals, and that's all I really need to stay motivated. I don't think I've ever given up on a goal after setting my mind to it.livingleanlivingclean wrote: »livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Granny sez: Your severe undereating is far more unhealthy for you than some of the food choices you're rejecting (such as white bread).
This is quintuply true if you truly were eating 5000+ calories a day and only gaining a half pound monthly.
If those stats are true: Your actual TDEE would be 4900+ calories (1/4 of 1/2 pound excess eating weekly x 3500 calories per pound = 438 (rounded) calorie excess calories weekly, divided by 7 days = 63 calorie daily excess, subtract from 5000 eaten daily for a 4937 TDEE). Your deficit (on 1100) would be around 3837 daily (4937 - 1100), and you'd be losing over a pound a day (7.7 a week), which is extremely not healthy unless you weigh over 700 pounds. (I have doubts about the stats, but that's the math, if I'm doing it right . . . not my strong suit, but if I blew it someone better at it will correct me.)
Even if MFP is right and your NEAT (or TDEE) is 2500-2700, eating 1100 is going to have you losing 2.8+ pounds a week. If you currently weigh close to 300, that deficit would be OK, but if you weigh less then eating 1100 is still unhealthier than having a couple of slices of good quality white bread daily.
Seriously.
I totally get your desire to make healthier choices. Please do!
I think you are right because I seem to be losing weight very suddenly now, (3 pounds over the last 3 days). Going to definitely start eating larger proportions, and I am going to get some full fat yogurt because I am getting almost no fat in this diet.maryannprt wrote: »Of course. Maybe I'm overthinking what the OP says, but it sounds like he doesn't want to eat winter squash with butter, so this is another option. Adds a few calories, adds a little fat, which we all need, and adds a food to his rather limited list.
I've actually been cooking my chicken/broccoli/carrots with olive oil. I am not a fan of raw veggies, so I usually cook them.
I'm not against eating squash with butter as long as I maintain my calorie goal, something like that isn't "addictive" to me... so I may get some squash. Right now I am going to bed and I'm still 1000 calories away from my daily goal.. so I definitely need to eat more tomorrow.
It is incredible how much healthy food you can eat and still stay under 1000 calories. What's weird is I am not even hungry most the time. Daily exercise seems to drastically cut my appetite.
I look at one of the things I use to eat 3-4x a day, and it's 1000-1500 calories by itself. Embarrassing.
Before you edited your post, you mentioned being under in fats and over sugar.
I would recommend seeing the fat goal as a minimum - if you aren't even eating the minimum, you're depriving your body of essential nutrition. Sugar is not something you need to worry about as your limited food choices will be providing natural sugars. Again, eating too little is less healthy than eating enough by adding calories from other food choices.
1000 calories of food is not much. Stop pretending to yourself that what you're doing is healthy and sufficient.
I must have actually deleted it in the multi-quoting. Yes I am under in fats but right at the goal for sugar.
I don't think I ever pretended that this was healthy, I know it's bad and I am going to fix it. I just started this diet a week ago, joined the site yesterday, and expected my calories intake to be higher. Tomorrow I will eat nearly double what I currently am. I only ate ~1082 calories today, and that's also with 350 calories loss in exercise.
do you have a reason to avoid sugar? if not, don't even worry about the sugar - it's not even a macronutrient, just a subset of carbohydrates. you might be better off swapping that nutritional column for fibre.
for today, get some nuts, or peanut butter and eat those. drink a protein shake. better still, make yourself some oats with the protein milk, add fruit and nuts.
Nah no reason to avoid sugar, switching for fiber is probably a good idea.0 -
YepItsKriss wrote: »Since i am also 31, i understand the mindset you have, everyone around you has met someone, they have their own families, and you still feel like this big boulder (weight) is in the way.
Lose your weight, get healthy, love life.. but girls aren't anymore whack-a-doodle then the ones attracted to you already lol
I thought that i would have a better selection once my weight was gone... *BUZZER SOUNDS*
In the end, people can be more attracted to each other physically, but their personality can still be terrible.
All the people who i get checked out by now are people i would have to spray with Lysol before standing too close lol
I think it might be harder for guys. From what I've seen overweight women can still pick up guys decently. Just last week my (very fit) friend took a girl home that was easily double his weight.
I've never seen it in reverse though. I genuinely have not had a female interested in me since high school (15 years ago). I have been "friendzoned" 100 times over. My guy friend who is a little bigger than me, has never had any female interest despite being a very nice guy that has no problems talking to girls. They basically just treat him as their bodyguard while they pick up hotter guys.
Being a fat guy is rough in the dating department.
1 -
This content has been removed.
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YepItsKriss wrote: »Confidence is probably the reason there.. cause i can tell you some horror stories of my life as a 300 pound girl that definitely don't involve nice looking guys taking me home. Dating is hard for any person at any size.
Yes, I definitely lack confidence. I was confident when I was young and fit 15 years ago, so hopefully losing some weight will allow me to regain some of that.0 -
YepItsKriss wrote: »Since i am also 31, i understand the mindset you have, everyone around you has met someone, they have their own families, and you still feel like this big boulder (weight) is in the way.
Lose your weight, get healthy, love life.. but girls aren't anymore whack-a-doodle then the ones attracted to you already lol
I thought that i would have a better selection once my weight was gone... *BUZZER SOUNDS*
In the end, people can be more attracted to each other physically, but their personality can still be terrible.
All the people who i get checked out by now are people i would have to spray with Lysol before standing too close lol
I think it might be harder for guys. From what I've seen overweight women can still pick up guys decently. Just last week my (very fit) friend took a girl home that was easily double his weight.
I've never seen it in reverse though. I genuinely have not had a female interested in me since high school (15 years ago). I have been "friendzoned" 100 times over. My guy friend who is a little bigger than me, has never had any female interest despite being a very nice guy that has no problems talking to girls. They basically just treat him as their bodyguard while they pick up hotter guys.
Being a fat guy is rough in the dating department.
My advice - scrub the word, and concept of "friendzone" from your vocabulary and mind. It doesn't exist. It is a concept invented by entitled guys who think that a woman is obliged to sleep with them because they're nice to her.21 -
This content has been removed.
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Alatariel75 wrote: »YepItsKriss wrote: »Since i am also 31, i understand the mindset you have, everyone around you has met someone, they have their own families, and you still feel like this big boulder (weight) is in the way.
Lose your weight, get healthy, love life.. but girls aren't anymore whack-a-doodle then the ones attracted to you already lol
I thought that i would have a better selection once my weight was gone... *BUZZER SOUNDS*
In the end, people can be more attracted to each other physically, but their personality can still be terrible.
All the people who i get checked out by now are people i would have to spray with Lysol before standing too close lol
I think it might be harder for guys. From what I've seen overweight women can still pick up guys decently. Just last week my (very fit) friend took a girl home that was easily double his weight.
I've never seen it in reverse though. I genuinely have not had a female interested in me since high school (15 years ago). I have been "friendzoned" 100 times over. My guy friend who is a little bigger than me, has never had any female interest despite being a very nice guy that has no problems talking to girls. They basically just treat him as their bodyguard while they pick up hotter guys.
Being a fat guy is rough in the dating department.
My advice - scrub the word, and concept of "friendzone" from your vocabulary and mind. It doesn't exist. It is a concept invented by entitled guys who think that a woman is obliged to sleep with them because they're nice to her.
One if the best things I have seen written on MFP for quite a long time. :flowerforyou:6 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »YepItsKriss wrote: »Since i am also 31, i understand the mindset you have, everyone around you has met someone, they have their own families, and you still feel like this big boulder (weight) is in the way.
Lose your weight, get healthy, love life.. but girls aren't anymore whack-a-doodle then the ones attracted to you already lol
I thought that i would have a better selection once my weight was gone... *BUZZER SOUNDS*
In the end, people can be more attracted to each other physically, but their personality can still be terrible.
All the people who i get checked out by now are people i would have to spray with Lysol before standing too close lol
I think it might be harder for guys. From what I've seen overweight women can still pick up guys decently. Just last week my (very fit) friend took a girl home that was easily double his weight.
I've never seen it in reverse though. I genuinely have not had a female interested in me since high school (15 years ago). I have been "friendzoned" 100 times over. My guy friend who is a little bigger than me, has never had any female interest despite being a very nice guy that has no problems talking to girls. They basically just treat him as their bodyguard while they pick up hotter guys.
Being a fat guy is rough in the dating department.
My advice - scrub the word, and concept of "friendzone" from your vocabulary and mind. It doesn't exist. It is a concept invented by entitled guys who think that a woman is obliged to sleep with them because they're nice to her.
I think of the word in a relationship sense, not a "one night stand" or "friends with benefits" sense. When you ask a girl on a date, and she says "no you're just a friend", that's what I think of being "friendzoned". Sex wasn't even in the cards, but she's still not willing to let you take her out on a date.
0 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »YepItsKriss wrote: »Since i am also 31, i understand the mindset you have, everyone around you has met someone, they have their own families, and you still feel like this big boulder (weight) is in the way.
Lose your weight, get healthy, love life.. but girls aren't anymore whack-a-doodle then the ones attracted to you already lol
I thought that i would have a better selection once my weight was gone... *BUZZER SOUNDS*
In the end, people can be more attracted to each other physically, but their personality can still be terrible.
All the people who i get checked out by now are people i would have to spray with Lysol before standing too close lol
I think it might be harder for guys. From what I've seen overweight women can still pick up guys decently. Just last week my (very fit) friend took a girl home that was easily double his weight.
I've never seen it in reverse though. I genuinely have not had a female interested in me since high school (15 years ago). I have been "friendzoned" 100 times over. My guy friend who is a little bigger than me, has never had any female interest despite being a very nice guy that has no problems talking to girls. They basically just treat him as their bodyguard while they pick up hotter guys.
Being a fat guy is rough in the dating department.
My advice - scrub the word, and concept of "friendzone" from your vocabulary and mind. It doesn't exist. It is a concept invented by entitled guys who think that a woman is obliged to sleep with them because they're nice to her.
I think of the word in a relationship sense, not a "one night stand" or "friends with benefits" sense. When you ask a girl on a date, and she says "no you're just a friend", that's what I think of being "friendzoned". Sex wasn't even in the cards, but she's still not willing to let you take her out on a date.
I stand by it. She's got no obligation to go out on a date with you. She's not "friendzoning" you, she's just not interested, and that's perfectly within her rights.11 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »YepItsKriss wrote: »Since i am also 31, i understand the mindset you have, everyone around you has met someone, they have their own families, and you still feel like this big boulder (weight) is in the way.
Lose your weight, get healthy, love life.. but girls aren't anymore whack-a-doodle then the ones attracted to you already lol
I thought that i would have a better selection once my weight was gone... *BUZZER SOUNDS*
In the end, people can be more attracted to each other physically, but their personality can still be terrible.
All the people who i get checked out by now are people i would have to spray with Lysol before standing too close lol
I think it might be harder for guys. From what I've seen overweight women can still pick up guys decently. Just last week my (very fit) friend took a girl home that was easily double his weight.
I've never seen it in reverse though. I genuinely have not had a female interested in me since high school (15 years ago). I have been "friendzoned" 100 times over. My guy friend who is a little bigger than me, has never had any female interest despite being a very nice guy that has no problems talking to girls. They basically just treat him as their bodyguard while they pick up hotter guys.
Being a fat guy is rough in the dating department.
My advice - scrub the word, and concept of "friendzone" from your vocabulary and mind. It doesn't exist. It is a concept invented by entitled guys who think that a woman is obliged to sleep with them because they're nice to her.
I think of the word in a relationship sense, not a "one night stand" or "friends with benefits" sense. When you ask a girl on a date, and she says "no you're just a friend", that's what I think of being "friendzoned". Sex wasn't even in the cards, but she's still not willing to let you take her out on a date.
Because she doesn't want to have sex with you... so why would she go on a date with you? If she isn't attracted to you, she isn't attracted to you. End of.6
This discussion has been closed.
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