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Fat Acceptance Movement
Replies
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I definitely think more people look down on you for being fit than fat. The looks I get whenever someone asks why i'm eating healthily or why i'm not drinking piss me off.
However it seems them eating shyt and drinking too much is perfectly fine.9 -
I definitely think more people look down on you for being fit than fat. The looks I get whenever someone asks why i'm eating healthily or why i'm not drinking piss me off.
However it seems them eating shyt and drinking too much is perfectly fine.
Honestly, it sounds like you need new friends. When I see posts like this it's often in the context of people who hang together and don't really have anything more in common than going out drinking after work and on weekends. And really, it also sounds like mutual judging going on - you eat too healthy and they eat like crap.
If this is going on at work, it's harassment and reportable.
edited for grammar4 -
I definitely think more people look down on you for being fit than fat. The looks I get whenever someone asks why i'm eating healthily or why i'm not drinking piss me off.
However it seems them eating shyt and drinking too much is perfectly fine.
Honestly, it sounds like you need new friends. When I see posts like this it's often in the context of people who hang together and don't really have anything more in common than going out drinking after work and on weekends. And really, it also sounds like mutual judging going on - you eat too healthy and they eat like crap.
If this is going on at work, it's harassment and reportable.
edited for grammar
And this is what's wrong with the world today.6 -
stanmann571 wrote: »I definitely think more people look down on you for being fit than fat. The looks I get whenever someone asks why i'm eating healthily or why i'm not drinking piss me off.
However it seems them eating shyt and drinking too much is perfectly fine.
Honestly, it sounds like you need new friends. When I see posts like this it's often in the context of people who hang together and don't really have anything more in common than going out drinking after work and on weekends. And really, it also sounds like mutual judging going on - you eat too healthy and they eat like crap.
If this is going on at work, it's harassment and reportable.
edited for grammar
And this is what's wrong with the world today.
To clarify, I don't believe for a nano-second this is going on at work. If people are constantly asking why he's not eating or drinking and "looking down" on him for being fit and healthy it's as much a problem as people who are overweight being constantly questioned on what they're eating and why (and being looked down on). I probably shouldn't have thrown the work thing in there at all, it's really not relevant to the original comment.0 -
stanmann571 wrote: »I definitely think more people look down on you for being fit than fat. The looks I get whenever someone asks why i'm eating healthily or why i'm not drinking piss me off.
However it seems them eating shyt and drinking too much is perfectly fine.
Honestly, it sounds like you need new friends. When I see posts like this it's often in the context of people who hang together and don't really have anything more in common than going out drinking after work and on weekends. And really, it also sounds like mutual judging going on - you eat too healthy and they eat like crap.
If this is going on at work, it's harassment and reportable.
edited for grammar
And this is what's wrong with the world today.
Seriously. This mindset is what makes people working lucrative jobs quit to independently walk dogs and babysit plants for a living instead.
Generally not practical for someone with real life responsibilities.
How about some middle ground. Take care of it yourself by not engaging the individuals except for work related issues, or politely telling them to screw themselves. No need to go hide in your parents basement "safe place".
Crying to an HR department should be an extreme case.1 -
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The thing is that even if you don't talk about it at all (you training and being healthy), people (especially at work) will purposely ask you about it just so they can make a joke at your expense or will try to have a look at your lunch box or invite you for after work drinks so they can make a joke out of you when you say "no" probably because they need to ease their guilt about not doing anything themselves.
Once a work colleague sent me a picture of Ronnie Coleman via email and wrote that I wanted to look like that... It's not that it's hurtful but it's disrespectful and out of line and it rightly pissed me off.
Shaming someone because she is thin or fit is completely accepted by society.. because you are thin and not fat, people don't seem to realise that their behavior is wrong for some reasons.... it is not seem as harassment whereas, fat shaming is...
And because of that, fit/slim shaming happens more in your face!
I have never seen those same colleagues telling a fat person to stop eating because they look fat, yet they have no problem telling you that you need to eat junk food because you are too slim...3 -
I refuse to accept being overweight. I also refuse to abuse anyone because they are -- especially myself.
Fat-shaming is wrong, period.
Refusing to see that being fat, overweight is not healthy is also wrong.
I have some other opinions on this, but will probably piss off the sensitives who are reading. And I'm going out for a walk in 20 degree, kind of snowing weather so I can keep burning off my fat and buy some smaller clothes. See ya.3 -
FatPorkyChop wrote: »The thing is that even if you don't talk about it at all (you training and being healthy), people (especially at work) will purposely ask you about it just so they can make a joke at your expense or will try to have a look at your lunch box or invite you for after work drinks so they can make a joke out of you when you say "no" probably because they need to ease their guilt about not doing anything themselves.
Once a work colleague sent me a picture of Ronnie Coleman via email and wrote that I wanted to look like that... It's not that it's hurtful but it's disrespectful and out of line and it rightly pissed me off.
Shaming someone because she is thin or fit is completely accepted by society.. because you are thin and not fat, people don't seem to realise that their behavior is wrong for some reasons.... it is not seem as harassment whereas, fat shaming is...
And because of that, fit/slim shaming happens more in your face!
I have never seen those same colleagues telling a fat person to stop eating because they look fat, yet they have no problem telling you that you need to eat junk food because you are too slim...
It sounds like your workplace might have some issues. I'm very into fitness and I've never encountered anything like that at work. I've got a couple co-workers who are also into fitness and we'll chat about recent races or training, but the rest of my co-workers are indifferent and we just talk about other things.
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FatPorkyChop wrote: »The thing is that even if you don't talk about it at all (you training and being healthy), people (especially at work) will purposely ask you about it just so they can make a joke at your expense or will try to have a look at your lunch box or invite you for after work drinks so they can make a joke out of you when you say "no" probably because they need to ease their guilt about not doing anything themselves.
This is totally not my experience.
At my workplace people ask about marathon training or a race that someone did or if anyone knows about the closer gyms or the building workout room (big building). The race reports get positive comments (I have been the person being asked, but am hardly the only one).
We have Friday lunches, which sometimes have lower cal options, sometimes don't (I've brought my own food sometimes and so have others, and no one cares, and others have spent a good part of lunch talking about the foods they don't eat and did not get negative feedback).
The only times I've been asked about my lunch was because (according to the person asking) it looked good. Just this week I was microwaving a meal involving a lot of vegetables and someone asked me what I was having and said "those vegetables look so good."
I see no reason why someone would assume I would not go for after work drinks because I am into fitness (I don't drink, but have been known to go for after work "drinks" -- which means hanging out). And if I don't no one makes fun of me or whatever (plenty of times people say no, I am hardly the only one).
So if those things are actually true about your workplace, it sounds like a problem with your workplace.
I've been out of shape and in shape and fit, and the feedback I've gotten for the latter is far, far more positive. (And totally apart from that -- because for the most part I think most people are mostly just focused on their own issues -- I feel much better about it, so probably wouldn't notice or care if I thought someone did think my lifestyle was weird. Heck, I do lots of things that people consider weird, I am sure.)
If someone tried to shame me for being in shape or caring about fitness, not only would I laugh about it and not feel bad (why on earth would I feel bad?) but pretty much everyone I know, including my co-workers would also think it was ridiculous.2 -
FatPorkyChop wrote: »The thing is that even if you don't talk about it at all (you training and being healthy), people (especially at work) will purposely ask you about it just so they can make a joke at your expense or will try to have a look at your lunch box or invite you for after work drinks so they can make a joke out of you when you say "no" probably because they need to ease their guilt about not doing anything themselves.
Once a work colleague sent me a picture of Ronnie Coleman via email and wrote that I wanted to look like that... It's not that it's hurtful but it's disrespectful and out of line and it rightly pissed me off.
Shaming someone because she is thin or fit is completely accepted by society.. because you are thin and not fat, people don't seem to realise that their behavior is wrong for some reasons.... it is not seem as harassment whereas, fat shaming is...
And because of that, fit/slim shaming happens more in your face!
I have never seen those same colleagues telling a fat person to stop eating because they look fat, yet they have no problem telling you that you need to eat junk food because you are too slim...
I totally understand. I pointed out earlier in this thread that I suspected a lot of the "thin shaming" happens primarily to men. I know because I was unusually thin most of my life, even while in the military. Having male coworkers or buddies make joking comments on my weight was a constant thing - all in jest, male humor and all - but it bothered me. It probably bothered me more because I had always been thin and had always had people making those types of comments. I could tell myself all day long that they were just "jealous" but deep down inside it didn't help. I began to hate being thin and became extremely self conscious about it. I even started to wear baggy clothes to try to hide my shame (just made it worse). I finally decided to do something about it. Well, I'm not thin anymore and the comments stopped. I had a coworker tell me at a pot luck that I went from zombie to brick *kitten* house and a customer that hadn't seen my in a few years do a double take and comment on my size... and it felt great. My wife rolls her eyes at me because my fitness journey has been purely about vanity. Being healthy is just a side effect of that. lol3 -
janejellyroll wrote: »FatPorkyChop wrote: »The thing is that even if you don't talk about it at all (you training and being healthy), people (especially at work) will purposely ask you about it just so they can make a joke at your expense or will try to have a look at your lunch box or invite you for after work drinks so they can make a joke out of you when you say "no" probably because they need to ease their guilt about not doing anything themselves.
Once a work colleague sent me a picture of Ronnie Coleman via email and wrote that I wanted to look like that... It's not that it's hurtful but it's disrespectful and out of line and it rightly pissed me off.
Shaming someone because she is thin or fit is completely accepted by society.. because you are thin and not fat, people don't seem to realise that their behavior is wrong for some reasons.... it is not seem as harassment whereas, fat shaming is...
And because of that, fit/slim shaming happens more in your face!
I have never seen those same colleagues telling a fat person to stop eating because they look fat, yet they have no problem telling you that you need to eat junk food because you are too slim...
It sounds like your workplace might have some issues. I'm very into fitness and I've never encountered anything like that at work. I've got a couple co-workers who are also into fitness and we'll chat about recent races or training, but the rest of my co-workers are indifferent and we just talk about other things.
I'm with you. Sounds like the coworkers concerned about what others are eating are probably 16.1 -
The thing that people have to keep in mind about (a lot of) people in the movement is that many of them have had bad experiences with dieting.
They wanted to lose weight in the past, but weren’t in the right headspace to lose it sustainably, so they often resorted to crash/fad diets promising quick results.
They repeated this cycle multiple times, with different diets and schemes, each time rage quitting on the diet, and ending up heavier than they were before.
So, many of them said “Screw it, I’m done with this. I’ll just eat what I eat, and weigh what I weigh”.
Ideally, showing people the methods of sustainable weight loss from the beginning so that they don’t resort to crazy fad diets would be for the best.
But given a lot of these people’s experiences, I will say that it’s probably better to eat at a consistent maintenance that won’t result in weight loss than the cycle of starvation and binging that many end up going through when trying to lose weight.6 -
I actually like the HAES movement* at least as I understand it and it doesn't seem incompatible with weight loss. For a lot of people when they try to lose weight they get hung up on the number and with all the crap constantly surrounding us about how to lose weight. Drink only cabbage soup, eat ALL the kale, no carbs, no fats, apple cider vinegar etc etc etc. There's so much garbage and a lot of it coming from people who should know better or who we trust. And most of these weight loss fads are going to fail just because they're not sustainable. When you're focused only on losing the weight, you're more likely to fall into one of these quick fix traps which inevitably fails leading to the yo-yo of ever increasing weight.
With HAES the focus is on health not weight. The focus is on making healthy choices (both mentally and physically). So instead of focusing on weight I'm going to add in a vegetable for dinner or I'm going to go for a walk to the park. The mental component of trying to accept your body at the size that it is is also important because a lot of people put their life on hold for "when they lose the weight" which makes the problem worse. For myself when I first started being really aware of being fat I quit activities like swimming and dance because of how I looked. As I reduced activity the problem worsened. It's also just a lot of stress to wake up every day hating your body or constantly thinking I need to lose weight this isn't good enough. HAES helps here. The focus is look at what you can do and how awesome is that? Now do more of that.
For most of my friends that are really into HAES, it has actually resulted in weight loss. As they focused on other goals, walking more, taking dance classes, learning to sail, cooking at home, they have lost weight. But that's not where the focus is. Trying to be healthier will generally result in weight loss.
I guess for me HAES is about the non-scale victories and about trying to love yourself regardless of where you are in the journey.
*note: I'm not talking about the version of HAES that says any intentional weight loss is bad. That I just don't get.
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I don't think anyone should be teased or shamed for their weight, but I do think that those who are obese and morbidly obese should be actively trying to lose weight. It's gone to an extreme where people just say accept their size and don't do anything to change it. It's frowned on to even mention that it's unhealthy to be obese and people develop hashtags that say things like "big is beautiful" but it's not a beautiful thing to be unhealthy. It's just not healthful to be obese. Maybe you feel fine and your bloodwork is good... FOR NOW. But you are still taxing your musculoskeletal system and creating future problems and will more than likely end up in chronic pain carrying around more weight than your body is meant to carry. You can be happy with yourself and feel good about yourself WHILE making strides toward a healthy weight. I'm a little overweight but I am more happy with myself than ever because when I gained more weight starting in my late twenties I noticed and made positive changes and am slowly but surely shedding the weight. I feel proud of myself for doing healthy things for my body. I've had slip ups and plateus and some weight gain here and there but then I just adjust and get back on track.9
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People are discriminated against for many things. I believe that should not happen and try to take each individual for his/her/their actions and not what they look like, last name, etc. Where the FA movement is important, IMO, is that it raises awareness that overweight people are often shamed, disrespected and may be discriminated against. There are no laws against it, but if an obese person applies for a desk job then they should not be discriminated against. They can do the job. But some people have an unconscious bias against fat people and would automatically hire a thinner person. If it is a physical job or one in performing arts, modeling, or other field in which the appearance is important or the POINT of the job, then that's different.
I do think that plus clothing models are important. The majority of women in the USA are not size 0 or 2, so haut coutere is one thing, but if you are trying to sell clothes to the average woman, then the models should look like them as far as size.
Honestly, someone else's looks or body is none of my business unless I'm their doctor, spouse or parent (or employer if a model/actor). Even if this person's health is going to the dogs because of their eating/exercise habits, not my place to say something about it to them unless I'm one of the above to them.2 -
Body shaming is just wrong, regardless of size/shape. Sad that the same type of body shaming the Body Positivity/Fat Acceptance says is wrong for overweight/obese people, is used by them on healthy/thin people.
I honestly don't care what size someone is, not my business. I do care when people try to tell other that being severely under/over weight is healthy because they don't have any serious health issues at the moment. Neither is healthy. Slightly over/under - could be gentics or musculature, so that person could be very healthy.1 -
[Unpopular / politically-incorrect opinion warning]
When the mere lack of health and fitness for a given group due to overeating causes me to pay more and more every year for my health insurance then I will not be quiet about it and pretend it isn't happening. Period.
Even though I am more healthy and fit than the majority of the population (by various markers), my insurance rates go up to cover the costs of illnesses related to people being too fat. So yes, I will complain about it. If that "makes" them feel ashamed then that is on them, not me. Fat people are not a "protected class".
If you cannot fit through the corridors on a submarine (or are too fat to enlist in general) because you are overweight then you are too fat.
Note, that if you are too muscled-up they can find other roles for you.
But now it is becoming a matter of national security that much of the population is approaching the point where they will be unfit to serve in a time of crisis.
Call it what you want, but if you are that over-fat then everyone ends up paying for it eventually.
Don't just complain that you cannot fit in airplane seats or on the Harry Potter ride.
Recognize the real problem instead. Do your civic duty and lose weight.
I'm not going to feel sorry for you, nor should anyone else.29 -
I don't believe in treating overweight people badly. But I'm fed up with the whole movement, as I have three children, and I can see it influencing the teenage generation. I'm teaching my kids healthy habits, and I don't like that this trend derails that.4
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Discriminating against obese people is politically and widely socially acceptable today. Sad but true.2
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I am not a fan of this.
In one way, i will NEVER insult/shame someone who is overweight/obese because making fun of people is generally wrong. (and being on the pudgy side would make me a hypocrite!)
But it is not a healthy form of acceptance IMO.
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I don't know. I have struggled with low self esteem (I'd go so far as to say self-loathing) most of my life because of my weight. My biggest struggle with being healthier and the weight loss that follows that is most of the time I don't actually think I'm worth the effort. I'm fat, therefore I'm worthless, so why bother? Some of that is my own broken thinking, but some of it comes from society. I'm working on my broken thinking, but if the acceptance movement's message is "Love who you are, but work on making that person better", then I think that's a good thing. But if it's just an excuse to keep eating Twinkies? That's not so good.9
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caffeinatedcami wrote: »I was thinking about body image issues (my own and society's in general) and I learned about something called the Fat Acceptance Movement. The Healthy at Any Size Movement is related to this as well. I am curious what people's thoughts on this are.
Personally I am of two minds about it. I have never been clinically overweight but I definitely flirted with the normal-overweight bmi boundary at one point. I have had body image issues since I was a teenager and three of my immediate family members have suffered from anorexia. So I know the toll that negative body image can have on a person. Everyone should love themselves regardless of their size. And fat-shaming should not be tolerated. However, I agree with a lot of the points made in this blog post "6 Things I Don't Understand About the Fat Acceptance Movement". At a certain point does it really demonstrate self-love to give up on weight loss? What are your thoughts?
http://thoughtcatalog.com/carolyn-hall/2014/04/6-things-i-dont-understand-about-the-fat-acceptance-movement/
I don’t think anyone is ok being over weight. It takes alot of work to lose weight, some are willing to do what it takes and some are not. It also takes effort to love yourself, it's you against you one day at a time one moment at a time.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.2 -
[Unpopular / politically-incorrect opinion warning]
When the mere lack of health and fitness for a given group due to overeating causes me to pay more and more every year for my health insurance then I will not be quiet about it and pretend it isn't happening. Period.
Even though I am more healthy and fit than the majority of the population (by various markers), my insurance rates go up to cover the costs of illnesses related to people being too fat. So yes, I will complain about it. If that "makes" them feel ashamed then that is on them, not me. Fat people are not a "protected class".
If you cannot fit through the corridors on a submarine (or are too fat to enlist in general) because you are overweight then you are too fat.
Note, that if you are too muscled-up they can find other roles for you.
But now it is becoming a matter of national security that much of the population is approaching the point where they will be unfit to serve in a time of crisis.
Call it what you want, but if you are that over-fat then everyone ends up paying for it eventually.
Don't just complain that you cannot fit in airplane seats or on the Harry Potter ride.
Recognize the real problem instead. Do your civic duty and lose weight.
I'm not going to feel sorry for you, nor should anyone else.
My goodness someone on these boards who actually makes some sense. Bravo.18 -
I simply don’t understand why anyone would care or comment about a stranger who is over/under weight, taller/shorter than normal, has too much/little skin pigmentation etc.
If the person’s height/weight etc. is causing me an issue then I am free to comment about it. If an obese person is spilling over into the airplane seat I have paid for then I will comment about it. It is not fat shaming it is sticking up for my rights and getting what I have paid for. I will comment in a non-insulting way but I want what I pay for. My comments will be on that issue and not on the obese person being that way because they are bad people. (At some point the airlines will simply have to address this issue in a practical manner that is fair and dignified to all.)
I don’t care if you are a smoker, just don’t smoke near me and make my clothes stink or make me inhale your second hand smoke.
I find the health insurance comments ridiculous to say the least. There are many issues, some visible to all some not so visible that impact a person’s health, some within a person’s control some not within a person’s control. The exact impact of these issues is not completely understood especially when there are a combination of issues in one person. Are we to completely account for all these issues? What about when these issues change over time? How much you eat and what you eat can change drastically over time and impact your health. That is what insurance is all about, spreading the risk over a large group of people so that our costs in an area are predictable. If you are eating healthy, exercising and maintaining your health solely for saving on insurance premium then I would suggest that your reasons are not going to sustain your healthy behaviors in the long term.
I think it was Ann Landers in her old advice column that had a saying MYOB. Mind your own business. I try to follow that rule in my life. If a person’s height, weight, skin colour, hair style is not impacting me then I simply mind my own business and ignore it. That person is entitled to the same rights and privileges in society that we all enjoy, one of these is being whatever they want in terms of personal appearance.
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I feel that if everyone looked exactly the same then the world would be a boring place. We are all entitled to look however we like, as long as we are happy and healthy then it shouldn’t matter. I think fat shaming should never be allowed and skinny shaming as well. If everyone could learn to accept each other then the world would be a nicer place! However .. if you are morbidly obese and in danger of health problems such as heart attacks and strokes then for health reasons only should that person aim to lose some weight.0
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I don't know. I have struggled with low self esteem (I'd go so far as to say self-loathing) most of my life because of my weight. My biggest struggle with being healthier and the weight loss that follows that is most of the time I don't actually think I'm worth the effort. I'm fat, therefore I'm worthless, so why bother? Some of that is my own broken thinking, but some of it comes from society. I'm working on my broken thinking, but if the acceptance movement's message is "Love who you are, but work on making that person better", then I think that's a good thing. But if it's just an excuse to keep eating Twinkies? That's not so good.
I had the same “screw it, why bother?” mentality for years. For me, all it took was hard cutting from 265 to 150, staying in that range for a while, then taking on a hard training schedule while intentionally heading back north in pounds. It’s been a five year process thus far, but I can assure you, my way of thinking about myself has changed entirely.
Obesity is an obnoxious Ouroboros, but sometimes all it takes is spitting out the tail once, staying the course, and the cycle is broken.9 -
Even though I am more healthy and fit than the majority of the population (by various markers), my insurance rates go up to cover the costs of illnesses related to people being too fat. So yes, I will complain about it. If that "makes" them feel ashamed then that is on them, not me. Fat people are not a "protected class".
Fat shaming is super effective at lowering insurance rates
oh, wait...
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/oby.20891
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I'm overweight and I love myself but I also love my son who probably wants me to watch him grow up, I know I want to, but if I dont get healthy I will not. There is accepting yourself and making changes and there is giving up...fat acceptance in my opinion is just giving up.6
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I Fat Shame myself.
It works like a charm.3
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