Post your favorite joke

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  • more_skal
    more_skal Posts: 400 Member
    A math professor leaves a note for his wife as follows:

    Dear wife as you know you are 54 years old and I have certain needs you cannot satisfy. I am happy with you so I hope you won’t be hurt or offended to learn I have rented a room with one of my students. I will be home by midnight.

    When he gets home around 11:30 he finds a note waiting for him that reads:

    Dear husband, you too are 54 years old and by the time you read this I’ll have been in a hotel room all day with our 20 year old pool boy. Being the smart math professor you are you can appreciate the fact that 20 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 20.


    I found this on the internet ha ha
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    Did you hear about the mathematician who was scared of negative numbers?
    He'd stop at nothing to avoid them.
  • puzzlingkirsten
    puzzlingkirsten Posts: 58 Member
    How do you fit 1000 Pikachu's on a bus?










    You Pokemon (poke-em-on)
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    Versicolour wrote: »
    My favourite joke is actually the only one I remember. It is long though and I don't have the energy to type it all out now.

    It starts off: A frog goes to the bank to ask for a loan..

    And does it end with "It's a nick-nack Patty Black give the frog a loan"?
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  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up."
    "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
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  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    What do you call a white guy with a big dick?


    Michael Jackson
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  • Mandygring
    Mandygring Posts: 704 Member
    Lol I love these jokes
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  • more_skal
    more_skal Posts: 400 Member
    ha ha this one resonates with me

    i found this on the internt too

    As a child I always thought my dad was a superhero - the invisible man
  • Mandygring
    Mandygring Posts: 704 Member
    more_skal wrote: »
    ha ha this one resonates with me

    i found this on the internt too

    As a child I always thought my dad was a superhero - the invisible man

    Aww that's sad but for me too lol
  • suzreen
    suzreen Posts: 2,455 Member
    A man is out and about and is approached by a lady of the evening. She says, I'll do anything you want for $300. The man carefully considers all the options, then says, okay, great. Paint my house!
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  • joemac1988
    joemac1988 Posts: 1,021 Member
    What's brown and sticky?

    A brown stick.

    (If you don't find this funny, your sense of humor is underdeveloped.)
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  • elizarizo
    elizarizo Posts: 470 Member
    edited December 2017
    What do you call a wreath made out of 100$ bills?


  • Mandygring
    Mandygring Posts: 704 Member
    elizarizo wrote: »
    What do you call a wreath made out of 100$ bills?


    What?
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,460 Member
    Mine!
  • elizarizo
    elizarizo Posts: 470 Member
    Mandygring wrote: »
    elizarizo wrote: »
    What do you call a wreath made out of 100$ bills?


    What?

    Aretha Franklin





    Bada boom
  • Mandygring
    Mandygring Posts: 704 Member
    Lol
  • LifeIs420
    LifeIs420 Posts: 150 Member
    A bear and rabbit are *kitten* in the woods. The bear asks the rabbit "do you have trouble with *kitten* sticking to your fur?" The rabbit said no so the bear wiped his *kitten* with the rabbit. #aclassic
  • more_skal
    more_skal Posts: 400 Member
    I got this one from the internet

    two blondes are walking and one asks which is closer the moon or florida?

    and the other responds, duh can you see florida?
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