Let it GO! Decluttering (simplifying) your life of (people, places or things) success stories?
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jenniferc933 wrote: »I am ashamed of my hoarding of clothes and now that I've read everyones remarks - it makes me feel less isolated. I began getting rid of stuff about 2 years ago but IT is difficult - because every dress/piece of china etc etc etc., has a memory attached. But YOU are ALL correct - it does weigh you down - and now that I know I'm not alone in my tendancy to clutter, I will push forward faster and more quickly than I have been doing. Thank you all for the insight.
W W How very powerful and encouraging you are. Thank you ever so VERY much for posting this, you've inspired me something terrific and it makes me smile from ear to ear, knowing we're so NOT alone and getting stronger and stronger more and more each day. You ROCK, period. What you've contributed here is hugely motivating to/for me--BAM!4 -
I absolutely relate to what you've gone through. I don't know when I started downsizing, but it probably does match right around the time I started taking weightloss seriously.
I don’t recall what exactly triggered it, but it was a mix of seeing my mother (who has a hoarding problem) sitting in her little kitchen with only a tiny corner of the table that wasn’t covered (she has 3-5 of everything, including 7 calendars hanging on the wall) and her behavious has been so engrained in my mind that I just saw a flash-forward of my life, and a visit of a friend who exclaimed “you have so much stuff!” – I needed to make a change, and quick!
The first thing I did was switch to a capsule wardrobe – something I still do today and I absolutely love it. It takes the pressure off how to dress, to shop all the time, and almost completely eliminates “fast fashion”. I now know exactly what I need, the colours and cuts that suit me, and I don’t have anything more than once – each piece is an item of clothing that I love. For the new year I’m taking it a step further and will only buy second hand.
Next was my “stuff”. So much stuff! I was pretty consequent and got rid of everything and anything I was not using. You know those Ikea bags? I think at one point I was bringing 1-2 a week to my local charity shop. And I’m so glad for it, because the secret to happiness really is giving and helping others. I noticed a huge boost in how I felt in general, because I was rejoicing for the people who would be getting my old coats and sweaters just before winter really hit. Giving all this makeup I never use to friends of mine, and seeing their faces light up with joy – priceless!
Having all this space triggered something I didn’t see coming, either, and that’s remembering the things I used to love doing. Having space and peace of mind reminded me how much I loved reading, so I started doing that again. Since July I read 28 books, and I cannot stress how happy that has made me. I also now have space and time to do the things I’ve always wanted to try, like writing letters and cross stitching (I do a rude cross stitch, it’s so much fun!).
So yes, you might be on to something with the weight loss and minimalism coming at the same time, I’m really intrigued with the idea!
I started to highlight the most important things (for/to me) you've written here, but had to STOP, because everything single thing you've written/shared here is so profound, so REAL and sooooo helpful--THANK you ever so very much for taking the time and care to post here. What you've contributed so...ummmmm, DEEP and thought-provoking and again HELPFUL. W W
{{{{ Love and Hugs and THANKS once more, so much }}}}}}5 -
I have donated boxes and boxes of my items this year (clothes, books, dishes, jewelry, etc.). I still have two things that hold me back on keeping my home decluttered.
One, I'm really bad about going through a box of things and only getting rid of half of it then putting the box back in the same spot....so I really didn't get that box of stuff gone:( I'm working on this.
Two, my other half is a clutter bug. We don't use our dinning room table anymore due to his mountain of stuff. We have two other bedrooms with his "stuff". He isn't to the point of being a hoarder but I give up. I used to go behind him and put stuff in it's place and then he claims he can't find anything and I just stopped being his maid. Don't get me wrong, I'm not on here bashing him I just can't figure out how to motivate him to keep his areas neater.
@Steff46 Can your cleaning of your shared areas still help? Try to focus on your own space for now. With the boxes, once you've tackled a lot of boxes, start a plan where you take two boxes, and turn them into one box of stuff. Just an idea. Warmest regards. x
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NewLIFEstyle4ME wrote: »Since April 2015 when I started at MFP, I've lost 80 lbs and kept it off for 20 months. In that time, I've thrown out loads of old crap.
While I was losing weight, I had the pleasure of "shopping" in my wardrobe for skinnier clothes that fit me again.
I now fit all my favourite skinny clothes, and I've thrown out all my fat clothes. So many bags of clothes donated to the op shop!
I've also done a lot of spring-cleaning and de-cluttered the whole house, because I've become very active, and much less lazy.
NEAT (non-exercise activity thermogenesis calorie-burning for the win!)
I've thrown out loads of books, and worn-out linen, and kitchen crap. The house feels so much nicer to live in.
I think my decluttering inspired my husband, as he's done a lot himself with his things since I started.
I love this thread, it's a refreshing topic!
THANK YOU ever so much for posting this. It made me smile inside and out and is so very helpful, insightful and super encouraging! I really LOVE what you've said about "NEAT" ( NEAT (non-exercise activity thermogenesis calorie-burning for the win!) I've never heard of this before and again, I LOVE it!!! Also...just the way you've phrased everything is so powerful and joy inspiring. How I have to "blush" about "thrown out loads of books, and worn-out linen, and kitchen crap"...wow--likewise!
Lastly, my decluttering AND weight-loss quest and new mind-set as done something absolutely tremendous to my hubby and my relationship. We are soooo much closer now. We've always been very tight and deeply in love with one another, but we are just on a whole nother wave-length now and our entire way of communicating with each other is ultra FUN now and more COOL than ever. Relating to him now, our communication, respect, admiration and frankly love for each other and just our entire lives are blooming in ways that I can't fully explain here and I just love that!
Thank you again and again for contributing this most excellent reply--you so ROCK, period.
What lovely things to hear! Thank you.
So happy to hear about your relationship with your husband. My relationship with mine is the best it's ever been too! When we talk to each other, we talk and make jokes. We can disagree without getting upset about it.
I used to be very afraid of conflict, and imagine it where there was just a minor point of difference, and have bouts of anxiety.
Now, I'm more confident, less tied to other people's opinions of me, and less hung-up about things. I'm still working on my anxiety and fear of social situations, but it doesn't stop me attending events and talking to people.
I really feel that weight loss, exercise, and creating art and a beautiful space around me has been an immense, symbiotic change for the better.
Thank you again for helping me think about this some more!7 -
I am doing it one drawer at the time. It works for me to go slow but steady9
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dragthewaters1991 wrote: »I have a pile of stuff that I'm trying to declutter and just can't. It's been there for almost a year now. I've given away some of it on Craigslist. But the problem is that most of the time I try to give away something on Craigslist, people flake out on me, like they say they want to come over that day and then never respond again. Originally I didn't want to give away these items to Goodwill because some of them are small (tons of holiday decorations), others are slightly damaged (like a lamp with a broken switch or a metal water bottle with rust inside it), and Goodwill has several huge dumpsters behind the donation center where they throw away a lot of donations. But it's just been hanging around forever and I'm tired of looking at it, plus I need the bin it's stored in for something else. Then I have a huge bookcase I want to donate and I have no idea how I'm going to get rid of that since it can't even fit in our vehicle. It's really frustrating and it makes me feel like I can't make any progress.
I can totally relate to what you're going thru. What I did was "go for broke--bite the bullet--throw down the gauntlet" so to speak, and just started throwing away tons of stuff (especially the stuff that really meant a lot to me, but was basically "junk" (ya know the special but "slightly damaged" stuff). Once I started doing that with a "vengeance" BOOM--a "Light" went off and my eyes were opened to how much unnecessary (but cute, special, etc.) stuff I had and how I was "allowing" it to rule me instead of visa versa. So, please know you're NOT alone...once you make the choice of "get out and stay out" to the "stuff" something powerful and wonderful happens...the "fear or apprehension" to toss it leaves and here comes a clutter free and lovelier environment and peace (of mind and in your atmosphere)...I PROMISE! This peace is so NOT like the "comfont or apathy" of living around clutter and just excess and unnecessary "stuff", no...it's a peace that inspires you to go further in "straightening" out your life, both inside and out.
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I watched another TED talk on decluttering and am inspired to do another sweep of the apartment now, when 2018 starts. Especially in light of moving to another city soon I want to have as few things as I can to make my life easier!4
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I love decluttering, and a mate made it even easier for me by suggesting that if I was really struggling to get rid of something I had found, to take a picture. I have a collage now of all my important memories from 'junk' and it takes up a document on my computer! W hen house is decluttered fully I am going to get it put onto a canvas or 2 and put them up in what used to be the junk room. Then I can see the things every day which is more than I used to do with the actual objects20
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I love decluttering, and a mate made it even easier for me by suggesting that if I was really struggling to get rid of something I had found, to take a picture. I have a collage now of all my important memories from 'junk' and it takes up a document on my computer! W hen house is decluttered fully I am going to get it put onto a canvas or 2 and put them up in what used to be the junk room. Then I can see the things every day which is more than I used to do with the actual objects
Say what???!!!!???? "Take pictures of the "junk"?????? W W and super duper BOOM!!!! Who'd thunk that--seriously, who'd da THUNK IT????? Man, this is like I just hit the decluttering lottery or something--YAY!!!!
{{{{ Big ole Hugs and the HIGHEST of fives to you beerfoamy }}}}}}. I have a huge perfume collection that the greater majority of which I've rarely if ever use(d). This has been the last "bastion" of excess stuff I have left from my decluttering odyssey/combat/adventure/quest/goal(s). Although the collection looks absolutely lovely--just gorgeous, it's simply tooooooo much and it's been almost impossible for me to even think about parting with the majority of it, let alone some of it. Thanks to YOU, you fabulous person you, I can simply take pics of it and get rid of the greater majority of my dear collection--without so much as a whimper, eye-roll nor any such thing AT ALL--because it's just too much and I'm OVER living in/with excess in my life (inside/fat and outside too much "stuff").
Girl, seriously, mere words can NOT express how much I appreciate you posting here. You've really contributed something outstanding and mega helpful to me/us. Taking pictures of the beloved "stuff".....BAM!!!! That's the ticket, period.
{{{{{ Hugs and THANK you again and again~BOOM!!!! }}}}}}
P.S. WOW...I LOVE this idea so much, so utterly simple and yet sooooo powerful, effective and with joy unspeakable, DOABLE--YAY!4 -
For the parents out there, I heard a similar suggestion of taking a picture of your child holding each of their art projects when they bring them home from school. Much less clutter than packing away all the art. And you're left with a nice compact memory.
Wish I had heard of this when my kids were young. Still have a box for each of them. I've thrown some but hard to get rid of them completely.8 -
I don't know how to "quote". But to comment on taking pictures of your mementos. I do this with my grandchildren's "art". I actually see it more since it is on my phone/computer and not in a box somewhere.5
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Has anyone ever seen George Carlin's stand-up about owning houses just to store our "stuff"? I love this thread. I need to get rid of my stuff too. I have too much and it is so hard to let go.
Wow..."owning houses to store our stuff"--that's funny and deep at the same time! Ya know how as we are downsizing our bodies is making us look and feel sooooo much better? Well, believe me, getting rid of our excess junk ( thinking about the ole saying of "one person's "treasures" is another person's trash/junk"), ummm, "stuff" is just as amazing and satisfying as losing weight. I can't tell you how most excellent it is to no longer be "looking for keys, looking for the garlic powder, looking for my jacket, looking for other slipper, looking for (fill in the blank). Once you get started, it's sooooooo wonderful to have a place for everything and everything in it's place. No longer living in clutter (no matter how small) because living in/with excess stuff and clutter and mess is and can be so stifling and irritating. Living with less "stuff" is so much more calming and cozy and makes life so much easier and better quite frankly. Now when I'm talking about getting rid of excess stuff--I'm NOT talking about "perfection" or mania (ya know the dreaded "obessive/compulsive slavery type of thinking, doing and being) I'm referring to the type of decluttering and simplifying our homes and our living, just to be making our environments more simplified, more beautiful and just plan cool!
Thanks so much for posting!!!!4 -
When friends walk into my house they ask if I have it staged for selling. Am I moving in or moving out. LOL For several years now I have tried to minimize. Mostly as a gift to my two children so they have less work in case I should take a journey of no return. (Sounds better than die!) I also rid myself of toxic people who either were great enablers or sabotaged my diet plan. Surrounding myself with a weight group of people (TOPS) sure helps!
When people ask me out to lunch I suggest a walk or morning coffee meet up. I tell them I am addicted to food and if they would not mind I would rather walk and talk.
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I actually did some decluttering of my closet today. I bought the book Color Me Beautiful, and went through my closet going by the recommended colors for me and I realized all the shirts I bought but never wear or don't feel good in are clothes that are the wrong color for my season. So, off to the thrift store they go or into the waiting to be dyed pile and my closet feels a bit lighter and happier now!6
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The idea of taking photos of collections (such as perfume and artwork) is a brilliant one!
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I relate to this on such a deep level. I’m a minimalist at heart and cycle things in and out of my life depending on their current level of usefulness. When I buy clothes I take a scan through my closet to see what I can let go of to bring room for new things.
My husband on the other hand is not. His brother is a legitimate hoarder with stashes of stuff in storage rooms across the state. When my husband and I got married 3 years ago we had quite a bit of conflict combining households. He wanted to keep everything and was incredibly stressed out and angry when I challenged him on it. At the time I thought he was worried about losing his single guy identity but I have come to realize he has emotional barriers to parting with things.
Shortly after we bought a house together and moved in, his parents dropped off like a 1 car garage full of packed boxes they had been storing for him for like a decade while he lived in dorms or apartments. I tried to encourage him to go through the boxes and weed some things out and he just would not have it. We got in several hellacious fights about it and it just lurked like a cancer in our garage for almost a year.
Finally he started bringing the boxes in the house a few at a time and going through them and I was just blown away by the contents. 10 year old unopened mail or junk mail. Broken electronics, VHS tapes. It scared me to death honestly because wow huge red flag.
He actually did a great job and got down to like 20 boxes of stuff that he insisted he needed to keep and it’s been in a corner of our garage for like 2 years. It wasn’t ideal but it was a good compromise.
Fast forward to now and we are getting ready to move out of state. We have actually been planning this about 18 months and one of the things we did to prepare was pay off all of our debt. This required a ton of planning and communication and team work. It has been so great for our marriage working through that process together. Learning to make hard choices and delay gratification helped create the framework for weight loss successes and its bleeding into other areas of our life.
So to put our house on the market we have been doing some prep work packing up personal items deep cleaning etc. so today he said he wanted to clean out the garage. He actually went back though those 20 boxes and got it down to about 6 which is so fantastic and the fact that it came from him is a first. We ended up spending the whole day going back through our house with the mindset of letting go of things we aren’t going to take to our new state. We threw some things up on offer up and made a few bucks too, but the majority of stuff went to goodwill or in the trash.
I really think that it’s all interconnected. The skills we learned saving money have helped us have the discipline to lose a combined 100 pounds last year. Removing the stress of debt and seeing success there put us in the headspace to get healthier. Being healthier and less stressed is helping find relief from the anxiety that triggers the need to save things.
I always think of Fight Club, the things you own own you. I don’t want to be owned by things. I don’t want to be weighed down. I want to be free.31 -
[awesomeness snipped by replier]
I always think of Fight Club, the things you own own you. I don’t want to be owned by things. I don’t want to be weighed down. I want to be free.
This resonated with me. I found myself sitting in my bedroom one day, feeling like the walls and all the things piling up in every last corner of the room were trying to swallow me whole. I ended up sleeping on the couch that night. I just couldn't deal with all that stuff and the heaps of emotions that were suddenly trying to crowd me.
You know the objects own you, when the books start reproaching you for not reading them...6 -
My daughter is going to a clothing swap this weekend so I used that as an excuse to go through my closet again which I had planned to do before the end of the year but had put it off because my weight is up a little after the holidays. I am having second thoughts about one outfit so have until Saturday to get it back from her if I decide I can't let it go. I did get rid of several things that I might still have been able to wear but didn't really like them enough to keep them. I did find 4 tops at the thrift shop this week so I do have something to wear. Now to get rid of the 9 pounds that found me again.5
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When friends walk into my house they ask if I have it staged for selling. Am I moving in or moving out. LOL For several years now I have tried to minimize. Mostly as a gift to my two children so they have less work in case I should take a journey of no return. (Sounds better than die!) I also rid myself of toxic people who either were great enablers or sabotaged my diet plan. Surrounding myself with a weight group of people (TOPS) sure helps!
When people ask me out to lunch I suggest a walk or morning coffee meet up. I tell them I am addicted to food and if they would not mind I would rather walk and talk.
Your post just encouraged AND inspires me something terrific and makes me smile from ear to ear--you ROCK, period. Thank you ever so VERY much for posting!!!!0 -
Somehow I ended up being the designated Keeper of Memories. When my great uncle died, I was given all his photo albums. When both sets of grandparents died, and my mom downsized, I got the boxes of generations of photos. Then my mother in law insisted I accept a box of loose unorganized pictures of my husband’s entire life. Ugh!! I don’t scrapbook, but I have over time made some photo albums for myself and thrown away boxes of pictures. There were dozens of duplicates and scores of pictures of people nobody in the family could even identify! There were so many pictures of landscapes that were taken on other people’s vacations . None of these had dates on them. Now I’m left with just one storage tub, and have room finally for my own things in my sewing room closet. Such a huge relief!!16
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JillianRumrill wrote: »I'm in that mood lately where I wanna DECLUTTER ALL THE THINGS!
I would just love to give away a big chunk of my wardrobe right now as I have a bunch of smaller clothes I wanna wear...but my body hasn't caught up to my mind yet. Probably in spring if I stay the course....
Thanks so much for posting and I can so relate to wanting to "DECLUTTER ALL THE THINGS!". I can especially relate to doing stuff when I'm in the mood, so much can I totally feel you on that. That's why this thread (for me) is also very related to weight-loss as well. What is working for me in the area of decluttering (and weight-loss related stuff) is no longer bowing down to/obeying/being led by my mood(s) anymore, period. It's HARD--very hard not for me to be led by my mood(s)--until I "remember/consider/apprehend" that my waiting to be in the mood to do whatever is what got/had me obese(now overweight), stuck in toxic relationships, and just stagnated in so many areas of my life in general. I won't lie, being in the "mood" is/can make hardwork so much fun, but my "moods" tend to be fickle at best and leans toward the slothful/lazy/procrastinating side (if I "allow" it to) when it comes to doing what right for me (like eating right, exercising, getting a good night's sleep and the topic at hand, decluttering and tossing out stuff that's hindering me and my environment and overall well being). Some people are just "blessed" to be able to do stuff when the feeling "hits" them, but not me. My waiting for being in "the mood" to declutter ( not just "stuff" in and around my home", but toxic people, stank attitudes in myself and all kinds of "mess" stress and ugh, I simply am refusing to waiting until the "mood" hits me to "take care of business and "slay the dragon(s)" so to speak when (not if...but WHEN) it/they rear it's ugh-ish head--that's a HUGE lifestyle change for me as well.
A couple of weeks ago, one of my friends tragically and shockingly died--all of a sudden. She died in her sleep. She wasn't sick nor had any issues (other than being overweight and the stress of life in general) and she died so totally and unexpectedly. The family was told she died of "natural causes" Even though I jumped on the no longer waiting until I'm in the mood ship months ago about decluttering my life of all things unnecessarily causing me stress and being fat, hearing how she died so suddenly and again COMPLETELY UNEXPECTEDLY (and she was super young, only 42 years old) REALLY disturbed, upset and truly scared me and at the same time made me accept that tomorrow is not promised to me and if not now...when? Procrastination and putting up with "mess" (physically, mentally, spiritually and relationally is no longer an option for me because it's one of my number one enemies procrastination or waiting to be "motivated" is.
I'm not sure if I'm writing this to you or truly talking to myself even more here...yes I am.
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Bumping this as it is a great thread to read and re-read3
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" I won't lie, being in the "mood" is/can make hardwork so much fun, but my "moods" tend to be fickle at best and leans toward the slothful/lazy/procrastinating side"
This struck a cord with me, thanks for sharing.7 -
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So my daughter took about 10 bags of stuff to a clothing swap and came back with 4 items so a great step toward decluttering for both of us. Out of the 4 things 3 of them worked for me and currently everything is neatly stored in my closet. I have lots of xl t-shirts mostly from organized bike rides. Next goal is to make these all too big so they can go.8
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lately I've just been decluttering all of my bad habits.
A couple months ago at my yearly checkup with my doctor I decided to swallow my pride and face the fact that I probably needed to be on antidepressants. I've dealt with the death of my father when I was a teenager and never really had a male role model to help me grow up. I lived by myself for a long time and developed some nasty habits throughout the years and never really let anyone get close to me.
I finally met an awesome girl and got married a couple years ago, I cleaned myself up a little bit but the depression was still there and a few lingering bad habits. Then last year my mother died and had a hard time dealing with it for a while. I thought it was temporary and was getting better but I would still fall into a funk fairly often and would shut out my wife which she had a huge problem with.
So anyway a couple months ago at my yearly doctor visit I decided to actually be honest with my doctor and he gave me a scrip. And to be honest, I don't "feel" any different really but I don't have the crippling low energy and my cravings for the bad habits I had for so long faded as well.
On my 41st birthday I decided to smoke my last cigarette. It wasn't even that hard unlike every other time I tried to quit. I figured if I could do that I could give up pop that I would drink almost every day for lunch. Then I stopped playing this mobile video game I was obsessed with for like 2 years. I stopped drinking alcohol except for a small glass of wine with dinner once in a while or social occasions. Pretty much all of my bad, embarrassing habits are now gone. And now with all of my new found energy, time, and ability to concentrate I've been going to the gym regularly, brushing up on my Spanish, reading, and learning how to cook. I'm finally starting to think this being an adult thing isn't so hard after all.97 -
Roadie2000 wrote: »lately I've just been decluttering all of my bad habits.
A couple months ago at my yearly checkup with my doctor I decided to swallow my pride and face the fact that I probably needed to be on antidepressants. I've dealt with the death of my father when I was a teenager and never really had a male role model to help me grow up. I lived by myself for a long time and developed some nasty habits throughout the years and never really let anyone get close to me.
I finally met an awesome girl and got married a couple years ago, I cleaned myself up a little bit but the depression was still there and a few lingering bad habits. Then last year my mother died and had a hard time dealing with it for a while. I thought it was temporary and was getting better but I would still fall into a funk fairly often and would shut out my wife which she had a huge problem with.
So anyway a couple months ago at my yearly doctor visit I decided to actually be honest with my doctor and he gave me a scrip. And to be honest, I don't "feel" any different really but I don't have the crippling low energy and my cravings for the bad habits I had for so long faded as well.
On my 41st birthday I decided to smoke my last cigarette. It wasn't even that hard unlike every other time I tried to quit. I figured if I could do that I could give up pop that I would drink almost every day for lunch. Then I stopped playing this mobile video game I was obsessed with for like 2 years. I stopped drinking alcohol except for a small glass of wine with dinner once in a while or social occasions. Pretty much all of my bad, embarrassing habits are now gone. And now with all of my new found energy, time, and ability to concentrate I've been going to the gym regularly, brushing up on my Spanish, reading, and learning how to cook. I'm finally starting to think this being an adult thing isn't so hard after all.
You are amazing. Thank you for sharing!4 -
@Roadie2000 Yours is a heartwarming story. Totally mean that.
So happy for you that small changes have led to so much more health and happiness.1 -
This is a great read!!2
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Roadie2000 wrote: »lately I've just been decluttering all of my bad habits.
A couple months ago at my yearly checkup with my doctor I decided to swallow my pride and face the fact that I probably needed to be on antidepressants. I've dealt with the death of my father when I was a teenager and never really had a male role model to help me grow up. I lived by myself for a long time and developed some nasty habits throughout the years and never really let anyone get close to me.
I finally met an awesome girl and got married a couple years ago, I cleaned myself up a little bit but the depression was still there and a few lingering bad habits. Then last year my mother died and had a hard time dealing with it for a while. I thought it was temporary and was getting better but I would still fall into a funk fairly often and would shut out my wife which she had a huge problem with.
So anyway a couple months ago at my yearly doctor visit I decided to actually be honest with my doctor and he gave me a scrip. And to be honest, I don't "feel" any different really but I don't have the crippling low energy and my cravings for the bad habits I had for so long faded as well.
On my 41st birthday I decided to smoke my last cigarette. It wasn't even that hard unlike every other time I tried to quit. I figured if I could do that I could give up pop that I would drink almost every day for lunch. Then I stopped playing this mobile video game I was obsessed with for like 2 years. I stopped drinking alcohol except for a small glass of wine with dinner once in a while or social occasions. Pretty much all of my bad, embarrassing habits are now gone. And now with all of my new found energy, time, and ability to concentrate I've been going to the gym regularly, brushing up on my Spanish, reading, and learning how to cook. I'm finally starting to think this being an adult thing isn't so hard after all.
You sir, are a first class winner AND all time champion, period. BOOM and YAY you and you rock, period. Thank you ever so VERY much for posting.2
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