Help! Dates, eating out, non-trackable food!

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  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Honestly salads are often calorie bombs too... if you want one, get one, but really, you're better off with steak and veggies if it's what you want (just ask for light or no butter on the veggies).

    I wouldn't mention your diet at all though. A lot of overweight people say that 'they're on a diet' to impress someone then don't follow through... so it's not even worth mentioning (not saying it's you, but that your date might think that). It's not your date's business anyway if you want salad or steak.

    The fancy French restaurant will probably have smaller portions so I wouldn't even worry about it. The vietnamese place, avoid fried food and don't fill up on rice.
  • JaydedMiss
    JaydedMiss Posts: 4,286 Member
    edited January 2018
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    my dating profiles say im into fitness. I want to be my best healthiest me. I think id be into a girl whose focus is to be fit and healthy making good choices vs a girl saying shes dieting, One comes from self love and confidence, The other self hate and not liking themselves.

    I realize they are the same thing, And weight loss isnt self hate. Its the best form of self love for most of us. BUT. Its all in the wording and what im hearing behind your reasons for saying these things.

    That said, If i went out on food dates with every guy who wants to take me out id be huge. I made it clear to anyone wanting to meet up id like a nice quick first meeting, Coffee or a walk or something simple. Keeps me from wasting my dinner dates on guys not worth it, And honestly helps me weed out the pervy morons lol. Committing to a big ordeal right off the bat was just stressful and not worth it to me. Dinner dates are like 2nd-3rd date things, When i know im into you.

    Edit to add: Id never order the salad, Iv worked in restaurants i know they are stupidly high calorie. I also dont like salad. Which as a mainly plant based eater makes me giggle lol. Lifes to short to eat because of a date or something that stresses you out and makes you feel you have to, Or to eat things that you dont find amazingly yummy
  • JaydedMiss
    JaydedMiss Posts: 4,286 Member
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    shannonprovenzano2812 wrote: »
    Unless you plan on getting a salad without dressing, croutons, and cheese, that salad will probably have more calories than a meal would. Try and stick with proteins (steaks, chickens, fishes) that aren't deep fried. Get veggies as your side and you'll be fine.

    If a guy isn't attracted to you because of your weight, he's not going to think "I'm not attracted to her now because she's too big, but she's trying to lose weight so i'll give her a shot". It really doesn't work that way. If he's not attracted to your body type, saying you're trying to lose weight wont make a difference. If that's the case he'll just ghost you and pop into your DMs when you're thinner. In which case you'll realize he wasn't worth your time since he couldn't accept you for who you were.

    However, it is probably a good idea to mention your healthy lifestyle because if he sits around and eats Mcdonald's all day, that wont work for YOU.

    Very good point i failed at making in my post lol. Saying your into fitness draws in others into fitness. I want to surround myself with good influences. Let the men who can cook amazing healthy meals at home come to me, Not the ones who order pizza and drink every night. Where i do find talking about dieting for weight loss counter productive, Talking about fitness gets me the people i need around me :p
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
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    Iwantahealthierme30 wrote: »
    Don't order a steak on a first date unless you're paying.

    I see no reason why someone shouldn't order something appealing off the menu when someone invites them to dinner. It's a jerk move to deliberately order the most expensive thing or something that one doesn't really want. But if I was buying someone dinner, I'd want them to have what they genuinely wanted and I'd feel like I was wasting money out of the mistaken belief that it was more polite to order something they didn't really want.
  • JaydedMiss
    JaydedMiss Posts: 4,286 Member
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    janejellyroll wrote: »
    Iwantahealthierme30 wrote: »
    Don't order a steak on a first date unless you're paying.

    I see no reason why someone shouldn't order something appealing off the menu when someone invites them to dinner. It's a jerk move to deliberately order the most expensive thing or something that one doesn't really want. But if I was buying someone dinner, I'd want them to have what they genuinely wanted and I'd feel like I was wasting money out of the mistaken belief that it was more polite to order something they didn't really want.

    iv never ever let someone pay ut if i did id go middle ground. I have no problem with chicken and its generally pretty cheap compared to rest. just makes me super uncomfortable in general lol
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    Find Mr. Right? You ought to change your goal to "Eat only on dates". Then you'll be hunting.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    There’s nothing wrong with steak... I don’t see why you couldn’t get a small 6 oz steak with a side of veggies and a side salad. Anyway. Just make a little bit wiser decisions but don’t let your diet get in the way of your dating life. Enjoy yourself
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    PoppyFlower1 wrote: »
    Is it a good idea to say I’m dieting so the guy knows I’m working on my weight? I feel really self conscious about my size at the mo. I met all of the dates online, so haven’t seen any in real life yet and I’m worried in case they think I’m huge. They have seen my pics and I’ve FaceTimed but still..... if I say I’m getting a salad as I’m trying to lose weight maybe that would give me plus points?
    If they don’t want to be with you the way you are now then they probably aren’t worth your time anyway. Mr. Right will love you any way you come.
  • dnunny70
    dnunny70 Posts: 411 Member
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    PoppyFlower1 wrote: »
    Is it a good idea to say I’m dieting so the guy knows I’m working on my weight? I feel really self conscious about my size at the mo. I met all of the dates online, so haven’t seen any in real life yet and I’m worried in case they think I’m huge. They have seen my pics and I’ve FaceTimed but still..... if I say I’m getting a salad as I’m trying to lose weight maybe that would give me plus points?

    I would not mention it. The guy I have a date with on Sunday knows I am working on healthy habits (exercising etc.).

    Relax and be you! Confidence goes a long way!
  • hroderick
    hroderick Posts: 756 Member
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    save calories from other days and have a great time on the date
  • SCoil123
    SCoil123 Posts: 2,108 Member
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    If I’m going out I look up the menu online and plan my meal. It can still be logged using the closest data base match. Then I adjust the rest of the day (sometimes week) to accommodate the special meal.
  • collectingblues
    collectingblues Posts: 2,541 Member
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    PoppyFlower1 wrote: »
    Is it a bad idea to say I need to order a salad because I’m trying to diet?

    It's not bad per se -- but it all depends on how you want to come across. Do you want to always have to explain your food choices to your partner? Do you want to come across as that stereotypical girl who just eats salads? Do you want them to know you're dieting?

    Those are questions that only you can answer.

    I wouldn't say it, because I don't want to come across as a needy dieter who needs to tell everyone she's dieting, but that's me.
  • jessad215
    jessad215 Posts: 14 Member
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    Seems like you have a ton of good advice here about how to make good food choices, but I just wanted to say that I met my forever guy while I was at my highest weight ever. He didn't care--he was smaller than me, but it never mattered. I made choices that felt good for me (which sometimes meant eating more carefully, other times it meant indulging) and didn't talk to him about it in any big way until there was a lot more emotional intimacy built up and I could share my hopes and insecurities and fears in a more real way. The right guy will be interested in who you show him right now. That doesn't mean eating junk to impress him, but it also doesn't mean trying to convince him you're worthy by being on a diet. If he's the right guy, he'll like you for you, diet or not!
  • FlyingMolly
    FlyingMolly Posts: 490 Member
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    Three dinner dates in a week is three meals out of 21. I'm sure if you cut back a bit on some of the other 18, you can order something you'll enjoy and eat a satisfying portion of whatever-it-is.

    I also met my now-husband when I was heavier, and had had zero success losing the weight. He was really fit and wound up teaching me a lot about how to exercise more effectively and what healthy eating looked like, but that was after he'd already fallen in love with chubby-and-it-wasn't-going-anywhere me.

    You deserve someone who sees and likes the whole you, not the you that you want to be in two months or a year. You don't need to earn "points"; you need to meet someone compatible with your actual self. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in trying to be liked that we forget to take a real, critical look at the person we're trying to be liked by, and that's almost always a mistake. Go on the dates, have fun, and decide if any of them is with a man you'd like to see again.
  • PoppyFlower1
    PoppyFlower1 Posts: 62 Member
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    Thanks. I went on date number 1 last night, and asked that we just get drinks instead (I’m going to the French restaurant tonight so planned to save my calories for today). This backfired spectacularly. I’m not good at holding alcohol so a few drinks in and I was drunk. I was sober enough to ensure my date drove me home but drunk enough to get in and order a pizza! :-(. So note to self: drinks are off the menu now lol.

    Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that posted, I appreciate it x
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Why eat out? Isn’t it to get to know the other person and enjoy the food, enjoy the company? Do that.

    I would find a date who is obsessing over the menu to be a big turnoff.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    ....and he called back and wanted a second date! You may have considered it a failure but he didn’t.
  • PoppyFlower1
    PoppyFlower1 Posts: 62 Member
    edited January 2018
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    :-)

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