Is it wrong to date more than one person

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  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    elphie754 wrote: »
    Well apparently some people feel very strongly against polyamory (had some interesting private messages waiting for me today). Just to clear up a common misconception I saw- being in a poly relationship is not the same as living in a fundamentalist polygamist compound nor does it mean we share their ideals at all.


    OP- be yourself. If dating multiple people makes you happy (and you are not being secretive about it/cheating on someone) there is nothing wrong with that. Don't let the naysayers discourage you from living the life you want to live. There will always be critics out there regardless of how your live you life.

    It's sad that people feel the need to butt into your life like that. People need to grow up.

    OP - I agree that honesty is key. Pretty much any situation is fine as long as all involved are aware of the situation and you aren't misleading anyone.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    Well apparently some people feel very strongly against polyamory (had some interesting private messages waiting for me today). Just to clear up a common misconception I saw- being in a poly relationship is not the same as living in a fundamentalist polygamist compound nor does it mean we share their ideals at all.


    OP- be yourself. If dating multiple people makes you happy (and you are not being secretive about it/cheating on someone) there is nothing wrong with that. Don't let the naysayers discourage you from living the life you want to live. There will always be critics out there regardless of how your live you life.

    It's sad that people feel the need to butt into your life like that. People need to grow up.

    OP - I agree that honesty is key. Pretty much any situation is fine as long as all involved are aware of the situation and you aren't misleading anyone.

    We are very used to it. We refuse to be ashamed for being a happy family.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    purpleannex wrote: »
    Since when was dating the same as being in a relationship.

    I think it can be different but also the same.
    One date is not a relationship. The act of dating is not necessarily forming or being in a relationship. A relationship is an attatchment or connection to a person.
    Dating is often used to describe a relationship. A couple can say they have been dating for 6 months or 3 years and you would understand that that was a relationship. They might not be living together or made any commitment.


  • WanderingRivers
    WanderingRivers Posts: 612 Member
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    Polyamory is totally acceptable. Just make sure all parties are on board and consent is obtained.
  • eccomi_qui
    eccomi_qui Posts: 1,831 Member
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    That's what a calendar is for
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
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    I think it has to do with whether you lie about it.

    If you are dating two or more people and telling them all they are the only one, then that doesn’t seem a great way to have a relationship.

    But if you are open about it and everyone is ok with it then why not?
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
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    Depends on the definition of dating.

    I never dated, and it's almost 30 years of marriage for me now.
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,952 Member
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    OP... I'm glad you came to MFP for your dating advice. These classy people will always point you down the right path. Listen to everything they say like its scripture.
  • Ready2befithealthy
    Ready2befithealthy Posts: 303 Member
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    If everyone knows it’s okay.
  • Wingsont84
    Wingsont84 Posts: 335 Member
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    Can you eat two different pie in one night?
  • GymTennis
    GymTennis Posts: 133 Member
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    Even if you do date multiple people at the same time, sooner or later, for one reason or another, you're going to start navigating toward one person. It's called love
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
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    GymTennis wrote: »
    Even if you do date multiple people at the same time, sooner or later, for one reason or another, you're going to start navigating toward one person. It's called love

    You know this thread is talking about polyamory where amor is Latin for love.

    So what says they need to navigate towards one person?
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    GymTennis wrote: »
    Even if you do date multiple people at the same time, sooner or later, for one reason or another, you're going to start navigating toward one person. It's called love

    Who says you can't love more than one person?
    LiftingRiot wrote: »
    OP... I'm glad you came to MFP for your dating advice. These classy people will always point you down the right path. Listen to everything they say like its scripture.

    This reads like sarcasm, so I am going to address it as such (if it's not, I'm sorry, tone can be hard to read online).

    What is classless about polyamory?
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
    edited January 2018
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    OP hasn't come back again. Hopefully they read the other posts before the OP vanished, and got the answers they were looking for.
  • SunkissedBrownSugga
    SunkissedBrownSugga Posts: 64 Member
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    I believe the purpose of dating is to find the one that makes your life not complete but like omg how was my life before you but in a good way. Dating helps you find your likes and dislikes. Its about learning you as much as it about learning your expectations in a partner. I'm married to someone that I liked in middle school and although I'm relatively happy I also have what if's. This is honesty here people. I never dated. Never gave myself the chance too. I felt bad about wanting to because my father was very stern when I was a kid (In middle school I liked this guy and we just wanted to go to movies and stuff but I told my dad I liked him and all hell broke loose. My dad threatened me, my aunt (who stood up for me), and the guy). So once I was an adult and could date. The person that I liked from middle school came back around and we just pressed fast forward. He was the only person that I was with for years. Date. There's nothing wrong with it. I wish someone had told me that and not make me feel like you go from single to serious relationship to marriage. Sorry for being long-winded.
  • PoppyFlower1
    PoppyFlower1 Posts: 62 Member
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    Thanks for all replies. I did mean dating as in meeting people and going for coffee/dinner, not as in like seeing them or sleeping with them. Was just curious appreciate the replies xx
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Not getting caught is the same as being monogamous.

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