What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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The upside? How happier I am in the day-to-day. I feel lighter mentally and physically.
The downside? My face feels wrinklier without the extra padding to push it out!10 -
dutchandkiwi wrote: »How sad you can feel when you have to throw out special clothes because they have become too big.
At the beginning of my journey they were the "I jut want fit into that" or "if ever I could ever fit that again I'd be ecstatic" clothes. Now they fall of my bottom and really look ridiculous. I wanted to shrink into them, now I am finding that I have shrunk out of them again. AsI have maintained for 6 months now, they are out, but it does make me sad
Get them altered - much easier to resize clothing to a smaller size than to a bigger size.
Ditto to this. Additionally, if you have clothes that you're not as attached to, you can use them to PRACTICE altering them. It's not as hard as you might think!14 -
gymprincess1234 wrote: »kenyonhaff wrote: »gymprincess1234 wrote: »I don't judge other obese/overweight people, but I always wonder if I see someone grocery shopping/eating junk food - is this their cheat day? are they on weight loss? are they counting calories too? or they have given up? do thy even care? maybe they don't see it as a problem?
I think I could talk about health/fitness/weight loss all day long lol
I find myself oddly interested in other people's groceries on the conveyor belt. Some people exit with salmon, kale salad and a bottle of wine. Others are stocking up on Hot Pockets and Cheetos. Some have both!
When I used to binge regularly and just eat way over what I needed on daily basis, I was ashamed to buy the food. So I would convince myself that if I bought even more junk food, people wouldn't judge me and just think I'm hosting a house party. How messed up that is?! One of my all time greatest achievements so far has been shopping without guilt and being conscious while doing it, so I don't binge anymore.
Still made me ashamed to write this down.
I'm in the middle of my weight loss, and I still find myself going to the grocery store in the morning to buy junk food for breakfast - a frozen pizza, or tater tots, or pizza rolls. All foods that will use my daily allotment of calories in one meal, or almost. Then I skip lunch and have a light dinner. NOT HEALTHY.
And a 2-liter or two of diet Coke. I can just hear the cashier judging me ("you know the diet coke doesn't do anything when you eat two thousand calories of pizza right?")
No one judges me as harshly as I judge myself though. I know I need to stop, it's a waste of money, a waste of time (I do it most weekdays if I can), and a waste of calories.
I have no idea how to stop. I'm going to bring it up in therapy as I know it's related to why I gained weight in the first place (why I am driven to eat too much).
And to be on-topic: it is amazing how much less padding you have in your knees after you lose weight. I have slim legs, even though I'm still a hundred pounds overweight, and I can't sleep with my knees together anymore. I have to have them offset a bit. I can't imagine what it'll be like when I reach goal!19 -
@jesslla That's so sad, I hope one day we will be less judgmental of ourselves. I've been told by friends I judge myself too hard. For a long time I wasn't even proud of losing 50lbs, cause I felt like I just had to, cause that's not healthy to carry around, so there's nothing to be proud of11
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gymprincess1234 wrote: »@jesslla That's so sad, I hope one day we will be less judgmental of ourselves. I've been told by friends I judge myself too hard. For a long time I wasn't even proud of losing 50lbs, cause I felt like I just had to, cause that's not healthy to carry around, so there's nothing to be proud of
I know I judge myself too hard. It's one reason I'm in therapy again, my damn brain weasels keep lying to me.
I am proud of myself for losing 50 pounds last year though. That took work, and is an accomplishment. Here's to another 50 this year hopefully! You should be proud too, losing weight is simple but not easy!20 -
And a 2-liter or two of diet Coke. I can just hear the cashier judging me ("you know the diet coke doesn't do anything when you eat two thousand calories of pizza right?")
Except it does, The extra 800 calories from a 2-liter non diet coke could be what ruins the day. the 2k pizza could be your entire days food and you had planned for it. Maybe you were going to cut it in half and have it on two days. dont let someone elses lack of understanding and knowledge of the situation ruin your day. Especially dont let that garbage thinking in your OWN head, mess you up.28 -
Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »
And a 2-liter or two of diet Coke. I can just hear the cashier judging me ("you know the diet coke doesn't do anything when you eat two thousand calories of pizza right?")
Except it does, The extra 800 calories from a 2-liter non diet coke could be what ruins the day. the 2k pizza could be your entire days food and you had planned for it. Maybe you were going to cut it in half and have it on two days. dont let someone elses lack of understanding and knowledge of the situation ruin your day. Especially dont let that garbage thinking in your OWN head, mess you up.
Thank you.
This disordered thinking is why I got back in therapy. Hopefully my new therapist can help me overcome these rotten thoughts and compulsions.
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I used to spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about what other people thought as well. It paralyzed me to the point that i would avoid going out and doing things with friends because of the anxiety and fear.Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »
And a 2-liter or two of diet Coke. I can just hear the cashier judging me ("you know the diet coke doesn't do anything when you eat two thousand calories of pizza right?")
Except it does, The extra 800 calories from a 2-liter non diet coke could be what ruins the day. the 2k pizza could be your entire days food and you had planned for it. Maybe you were going to cut it in half and have it on two days. dont let someone elses lack of understanding and knowledge of the situation ruin your day. Especially dont let that garbage thinking in your OWN head, mess you up.
Thank you.
This disordered thinking is why I got back in therapy. Hopefully my new therapist can help me overcome these rotten thoughts and compulsions.
One day I realized that I was spending more time thinking and worrying about what other people thought than what I was spending on what I actually thought about it myself. I also realized that even if i DID figure out exactly what they were thinking, what was I going to do with that information? I couldn't control them, I couldn't make them think differently. It was completely wasted effort that was creating all of this anxiety for me. I now dont care what other people think. Its time to do and find out what I want/like and if I meet people along the way that share those joys then they are people I want to have around. The haters, the insulters and the doubters arent worth another moment of my time and thoughts.32 -
Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »
I used to spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about what other people thought as well. It paralyzed me to the point that i would avoid going out and doing things with friends because of the anxiety and fear.Poisonedpawn78 wrote: »
And a 2-liter or two of diet Coke. I can just hear the cashier judging me ("you know the diet coke doesn't do anything when you eat two thousand calories of pizza right?")
Except it does, The extra 800 calories from a 2-liter non diet coke could be what ruins the day. the 2k pizza could be your entire days food and you had planned for it. Maybe you were going to cut it in half and have it on two days. dont let someone elses lack of understanding and knowledge of the situation ruin your day. Especially dont let that garbage thinking in your OWN head, mess you up.
Thank you.
This disordered thinking is why I got back in therapy. Hopefully my new therapist can help me overcome these rotten thoughts and compulsions.
One day I realized that I was spending more time thinking and worrying about what other people thought than what I was spending on what I actually thought about it myself. I also realized that even if i DID figure out exactly what they were thinking, what was I going to do with that information? I couldn't control them, I couldn't make them think differently. It was completely wasted effort that was creating all of this anxiety for me. I am now dont care what other people think. Its time to do and find out what I want/like and if I meet people along the way that share those joys then they are people I want to have around. The haters, the insulters and the doubters arent worth another moment of my time and thoughts.
That's an amazing way to think of it. Never thought of it in quite that way before. I think that's really going to help me ignore the haters. Thank you!
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The upside? How happier I am in the day-to-day. I feel lighter mentally and physically.
The downside? My face feels wrinklier without the extra padding to push it out!
When I first lost my weight (90 pounds) my face looked so old and I was kind of disappointed. But now, almost a year later, it seems as though things have sorted themselves out and parts of my face have filled out again. I don't know how that could happen. But I'm glad it did.32 -
@jesslla your post really spoke to me. I've been looking back trying to figure out why it took me so long to start a real weight loss journey like the one I'm on now. It was my perfectionism. I thought I had to diet a specific way which seemed to be some kind of clean-eating zealot plan! Of course I failed and usually within 24 hours! And judged myself harshly for it. This time is different because I embrace that pizza is still food. Now i just add a salad and a multivitamin! I can eat this way longterm. The people who might judge your grocery cart contents are just ignorant. Celebrate your bonier knees! And the pizza that got you there!19
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ridiculous59 wrote: »The upside? How happier I am in the day-to-day. I feel lighter mentally and physically.
The downside? My face feels wrinklier without the extra padding to push it out!
When I first lost my weight (90 pounds) my face looked so old and I was kind of disappointed. But now, almost a year later, it seems as though things have sorted themselves out and parts of my face have filled out again. I don't know how that could happen. But I'm glad it did.
That gives me hope! I have always looked a lot younger than I am, which I loved, now I look my age and it freaks me out.
And how amazing, 90 pounds, you are inspiring! 11 -
dutchandkiwi wrote: »How sad you can feel when you have to throw out special clothes because they have become too big.
At the beginning of my journey they were the "I jut want fit into that" or "if ever I could ever fit that again I'd be ecstatic" clothes. Now they fall of my bottom and really look ridiculous. I wanted to shrink into them, now I am finding that I have shrunk out of them again. AsI have maintained for 6 months now, they are out, but it does make me sad
Get them altered - much easier to resize clothing to a smaller size than to a bigger size.
As a very experienced sewist I know this only works one or two size down, and even then the result is not always worth the hassle, time (or money). I have done it with a few very very special pieces, and they are also in this pile. Twice downsizing results to total crap clothing wise.
Plus this is more than 2 sizes down. Not doable in way that is acceptable me.
I rather donate them to good will and make somebody else happy with it14 -
How you sometimes look like a stranger in the mirror, or some slimmer cousin you haven't seen in ages! I'm at my slimmest in my adult life, so now every gram lost is like - Who dis?? when looking at my reflection
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Nobody ever tells you that you don't lose weight to feel happy you feel happy first and then you are able to successfully lose weight. Nobody tells you that the secret to successful weight loss is that you can never quit....even after getting to your goal....actually people do say this all the time but you find out it's true when stop logging and start to gain.26
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Lennonluv2 wrote: »Nobody ever tells you that you don't lose weight to feel happy you feel happy first and then you are able to successfully lose weight. Nobody tells you that the secret to successful weight loss is that you can never quit....even after getting to your goal....actually people do say this all the time but you find out it's true when stop logging and start to gain.
Amen to all of this.2 -
It turns you into wonder women lol2
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Lennonluv2 wrote: »Nobody ever tells you that you don't lose weight to feel happy you feel happy first and then you are able to successfully lose weight. Nobody tells you that the secret to successful weight loss is that you can never quit....even after getting to your goal....actually people do say this all the time but you find out it's true when stop logging and start to gain.
Thanks for sharing. Most never mention the mental aspect of directing health issues management.7 -
@jesslla your post really spoke to me. I've been looking back trying to figure out why it took me so long to start a real weight loss journey like the one I'm on now. It was my perfectionism. I thought I had to diet a specific way which seemed to be some kind of clean-eating zealot plan! Of course I failed and usually within 24 hours! And judged myself harshly for it. This time is different because I embrace that pizza is still food. Now i just add a salad and a multivitamin! I can eat this way longterm. The people who might judge your grocery cart contents are just ignorant. Celebrate your bonier knees! And the pizza that got you there! Thank you! As annoying as they are, I love my bonier knees. Because they mean I worked hard and have been successful, eating pizza and having many days of going over my calories!gymprincess1234 wrote: »How you sometimes look like a stranger in the mirror, or some slimmer cousin you haven't seen in ages! I'm at my slimmest in my adult life, so now every gram lost is like - Who dis?? when looking at my reflection
Yep. I got so used to seeing 307 pound me, that 249 pound me still looks strange. I know I'm not yet, but I feel so SKINNY when I put on clothes that fit now. It's like a stranger looking back at me, yet I look back at old photos and it's obviously still me.
What's really going to do a number on my head is when I drop another 50 pounds. By then I'll be much further along in therapy though, and ready for the change.15 -
I have cheekbones!!! And they are high af.
Also, I don’t care what people say, I now believe that leggings are pants...mainly because my booty deserves to be flaunted.38 -
LauraInTheWater wrote: »I have cheekbones!!! And they are high af.
Also, I don’t care what people say, I now believe that leggings are pants...mainly because my booty deserves to be flaunted.
Lol , I think I check my own bum in gym mirror more than anyone else 20 -
It's definetley cold. And its not possible to sleep on sides anymore because my sholders and hips hurts and i need a pillow to wrap my arms around otherwise i have the feeling of emptiness
But the other thing is that it takes time to get used to the fact that you have actually lost certain amount of weight and the first times looking in the mirror was hard to see any difference and even if the scale showed other thing i still looked at myself in the mirror and couldnt see any changes. But the mind works little bit slower and after a while it got better.10 -
I have read every single page (skimming all the replies of course). I'm down 33 of 60ish pounds and have found certain things to be true:
1. If you aren't really ready, it's not going to happen. I kept trying for years and years on this hopeless yo-yo...but until it finally "clicked", nothing ever stuck. I had to WANT it, not just know that it was necessary. And that "click" is directly in line with your mental health. You can't be hating yourself and your life and do a good job cutting out the only thing that comforts you. I spent 6 months with a counselor helping figure out WHY I was so unhappy...then the weight started falling off!
2. There is a difference between being desperate to lose weight, and being determined. Desperate is willing to over train, under eat, and eventually get too exhausted to keep going, get defeated, and gain it all back (plus some!). Determined is much more about moderation, forgiveness, and moving on.
3. You will still hurt almost daily. Except instead of aching knees and headaches and stomach upset, it's muscle pain from all the gains! And occasionally, hips from seeing JUST how fast you can actually run.
4. People don't know what to do or say. I'm lucky that I work in healthcare - when people ask and I say "diet and exercise" they get it to some degree. A lot of them know about MFP too! But always afterwards it's "But you didn't look bad before!!" Yes I did. We're just used to caring for 200+ lb short people half naked, not 180lb short people who wear baggy scrubs.
On that note, old people are the WORST. Yes grammy-in-law, I know I look good and you've never seen me this thin before...but I'm still not healthy. Please stop putting candy on my desk and insisting on seconds at supper. AND YES MOTHER IN LAW DEAREST, I DO PREFER A GLASS OF WATER TO A SODA WITH DINNER OUT...come to think of it, maybe it's just my in laws who are the worst!
5. How much you compare yourself to others in similar situations...but you still feel uncomfortable sharing with them your personal struggles because you started out at a lower weight than they did, as if that somehow negates all the work you've had to put in.
6. If you didn't have friends to start with, getting in shape isn't going to help you get them - you have to do that yourself.
7. How you can go from "look at that fit girl doing all those curls! That's impressive" to "Holy *kitten* I'm lifting the same weight as fit girl!
8. It can be a fight to the death to get your closest people on board. My husband is more a "strong man" style of fit and has been dirty bulking for about 2 years now. It worked for him, he's massive! But always having junk around the house and late night Taco Bell runs and having to prepare different meals was exhausting. I've FINALLY gotten him to get on his first real cut and it's amazing how much easier this journey is with him right by my side.
I look forward to the next 27 pounds and what it will bring! But I am even happier to be, well...happy!
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regina_demcuka wrote: »It's definetley cold. And its not possible to sleep on sides anymore because my sholders and hips hurts and i need a pillow to wrap my arms around otherwise i have the feeling of emptiness
But the other thing is that it takes time to get used to the fact that you have actually lost certain amount of weight and the first times looking in the mirror was hard to see any difference and even if the scale showed other thing i still looked at myself in the mirror and couldnt see any changes. But the mind works little bit slower and after a while it got better.
For the first time in my life I am a back sleeper.7 -
missKmorgan wrote: »<<Picked up a kettle bell of roughly what I've lost, for reference.
Ya'll.
I couldn't even walk around with that thing. No one tells you HOW HEAVY the extra weight is. Losing 50 pounds slowly (especially when you have more to go) seems like a matter of fact thing but realizing that you were walking around with that is just... mind blowing. Like, where does that even come from?! I honestly have no idea where all of that weight was sitting.>>
No kidding! My daughter and I raise horses and we were just talking about how heavy a 50 # bag of grain is and I had been carrying that around with me for the last 30 years. I am shocked at how much extra weight I was dragging around with me whenever I unload grain into the feed bin.
I feel you there. I buy kibble for my dogs in 20kg (45lb) bags, two a month. To carry the equivalent amount of weight I've lost, I'd have to pick up three of them at once, and there's no bloody way I'd be able to do it anymore (I should probably lift more weights at the gym to remedy that....)12 -
I loved reading your perspective and this part of your post really resonated with me.SignpostPsycho wrote: »1. If you aren't really ready, it's not going to happen. I kept trying for years and years on this hopeless yo-yo...but until it finally "clicked", nothing ever stuck. I had to WANT it, not just know that it was necessary. And that "click" is directly in line with your mental health. You can't be hating yourself and your life and do a good job cutting out the only thing that comforts you. I spent 6 months with a counselor helping figure out WHY I was so unhappy...then the weight started falling off!8 -
SignpostPsycho wrote: »YES MOTHER IN LAW DEAREST, I DO PREFER A GLASS OF WATER TO A SODA WITH DINNER OUT...
I generally prefer water rather than soda at a restaurant because the markup on beverages is RIDICULOUS and I'm that doggone cheap
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clicketykeys wrote: »SignpostPsycho wrote: »YES MOTHER IN LAW DEAREST, I DO PREFER A GLASS OF WATER TO A SODA WITH DINNER OUT...
I generally prefer water rather than soda at a restaurant because the markup on beverages is RIDICULOUS and I'm that doggone cheap
Server: Would you like a glass of overpriced, sugary chemicals with your meal?
Me: Not today, thank you. And neither would my children.14 -
So I know everyone has mentioned how cold they get... but I've noticed that I get cold in weird places. I was laying in bed the other night and my knees were cold. I think I've gotten used to my feet being chilly, but my knees were a new one!
Another little revelation this week - I didn't know there was such a thing as "size limbo" where you don't know what size you are. I was out shopping and had to pull three sizes to see what looked good because nothing fits like it used to, and I honestly didn't know what size I should be wearing! I've never been so lost in a store in all my life!17
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