What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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"Another little revelation this week - I didn't know there was such a thing as "size limbo" where you don't know what size you are. I was out shopping and had to pull three sizes to see what looked good because nothing fits like it used to, and I honestly didn't know what size I should be wearing! I've never been so lost in a store in all my life!"
Yup. I'm right there with you. I am in the 18-20 range. 20's are loose, and 18's are very snug (of course, I buy everything stretchy, so maybe I'm still really just a 20? BOO!) I have worn elastic pants for so long, I don't even know how pants should fit on me.
If I can pull a pair of jeans up and down over my hips without unzipping first, Is that my true size? Ugh. This is the part I didn't expect. Not knowing how clothes are really meant to fit causes an unnecessary amount of time at the store! Meh.....
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Yup. I'm right there with you. I am in the 18-20 range. 20's are loose, and 18's are very snug (of course, I buy everything stretchy, so maybe I'm still really just a 20? BOO!) I have worn elastic pants for so long, I don't even know how pants should fit on me.
If I can pull a pair of jeans up and down over my hips without unzipping first, Is that my true size? Ugh. This is the part I didn't expect. Not knowing how clothes are really meant to fit causes an unnecessary amount of time at the store! Meh.....
I think that means they're too big, of course I'm still in the elastic waist phase so who am I to say lol8 -
Not knowing how clothes are really meant to fit causes an unnecessary amount of time at the store! Meh.....
Also, sizes aren't consistent... I can be a 12 in one shop and a 16 in the next one. It does make clothes shopping a little more stressful. Luckily I am currently rediscovering old clothes I haven't worn for a couple of years, but there have been a few things I've needed to replace. It took me 5 hours and about 7 shops to find a smart black trouser suit!
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The absolute pleasure of feeling hungry, sitting down to a delicious meal that satisfy that hunger and never feeling guilty about eating because I have planned and decided everything I’m going to eat.30
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SignpostPsycho wrote: »I have read every single page (skimming all the replies of course). I'm down 33 of 60ish pounds and have found certain things to be true:
1. If you aren't really ready, it's not going to happen. I kept trying for years and years on this hopeless yo-yo...but until it finally "clicked", nothing ever stuck. I had to WANT it, not just know that it was necessary. And that "click" is directly in line with your mental health. You can't be hating yourself and your life and do a good job cutting out the only thing that comforts you. I spent 6 months with a counselor helping figure out WHY I was so unhappy...then the weight started falling off!
2. There is a difference between being desperate to lose weight, and being determined. Desperate is willing to over train, under eat, and eventually get too exhausted to keep going, get defeated, and gain it all back (plus some!). Determined is much more about moderation, forgiveness, and moving on.
That second point practically jumped off the page and punched me in the face with how much it resonated. The number of times in the past that I've cut, over-exercised, gone full type A on my weight loss only to burn out in weeks or months numbers right up there with how many stars are in the sky. Determined is about moderation, forgiveness, and moving on - that sings to me right now. Not eating meals separately from my family, but eating what they have in moderation. Not going to the gym for two hours and neglecting my kids on the weekend, but 30-45 minutes of moderate exercise in the mornings before work. Forgiving myself for break/cheat days - because without them I'd be defeated and gain it back - and getting right back to my journey. Well stated.
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Yup. I'm right there with you. I am in the 18-20 range. 20's are loose, and 18's are very snug (of course, I buy everything stretchy, so maybe I'm still really just a 20? BOO!) I have worn elastic pants for so long, I don't even know how pants should fit on me.
If I can pull a pair of jeans up and down over my hips without unzipping first, Is that my true size? Ugh. This is the part I didn't expect. Not knowing how clothes are really meant to fit causes an unnecessary amount of time at the store! Meh.....
I think that means they're too big, of course I'm still in the elastic waist phase so who am I to say lol
Well, then it looks like I have to do even more shopping. NOO!!3 -
LauraInTheWater wrote: »I have cheekbones!!! And they are high af.
Also, I don’t care what people say, I now believe that leggings are pants...mainly because my booty deserves to be flaunted.
Hahaha love this. But question: because of my apple shape (and therefore relatively skinny legs) I've basically always worn leggings as pants, albeit with a shirt that covers at least to my butt. Is wearing leggings as pants 'for real' different, like with a normal-length shirt? Like, is the booty an integral part of the process or can I also be in the leggings-are-pants club?3 -
Yup. I'm right there with you. I am in the 18-20 range. 20's are loose, and 18's are very snug (of course, I buy everything stretchy, so maybe I'm still really just a 20? BOO!) I have worn elastic pants for so long, I don't even know how pants should fit on me.
If I can pull a pair of jeans up and down over my hips without unzipping first, Is that my true size? Ugh. This is the part I didn't expect. Not knowing how clothes are really meant to fit causes an unnecessary amount of time at the store! Meh.....
I think that means they're too big, of course I'm still in the elastic waist phase so who am I to say lol
Jeans vary so much in cut and style. And really there's no effective industry standard anymore. So saying "I'm a size 22" or "12" or "-5" is really not terribly useful. Body measurements are more accurate.
My general advice is if you can pull on a pair of (non-elastic waist) pants without unbuttoning them first, they are probably too big. But saying that, I have a few pairs that I keep around because they do pass the "do they look OK" test. That's what belts are good for.3 -
kenyonhaff wrote: »
My general advice is if you can pull on a pair of (non-elastic waist) pants without unbuttoning them first, they are probably too big. But saying that, I have a few pairs that I keep around because they do pass the "do they look OK" test. That's what belts are good for.Yup. I'm right there with you. I am in the 18-20 range. 20's are loose, and 18's are very snug (of course, I buy everything stretchy, so maybe I'm still really just a 20? BOO!) I have worn elastic pants for so long, I don't even know how pants should fit on me.
If I can pull a pair of jeans up and down over my hips without unzipping first, Is that my true size? Ugh. This is the part I didn't expect. Not knowing how clothes are really meant to fit causes an unnecessary amount of time at the store! Meh.....
I think that means they're too big, of course I'm still in the elastic waist phase so who am I to say lol
Yup. Also, the slightly-too-big pants are great to wear OVER leggings, though I still need a belt. This (a) helps me stay warm, and (b) makes it easier/faster to get changed at the gym after work - I just pull off the outer layer!7 -
I was explaining to my daughter how we discovered in preschool that fart sound you can make by placing your hand(s) over your cheek and mouth. I used to be able make a obnoxious and loud one, but can't now that my cheeks are not as chubby.20
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gymprincess1234 wrote: »kenyonhaff wrote: »gymprincess1234 wrote: »I don't judge other obese/overweight people, but I always wonder if I see someone grocery shopping/eating junk food - is this their cheat day? are they on weight loss? are they counting calories too? or they have given up? do thy even care? maybe they don't see it as a problem?
I think I could talk about health/fitness/weight loss all day long lol
I find myself oddly interested in other people's groceries on the conveyor belt. Some people exit with salmon, kale salad and a bottle of wine. Others are stocking up on Hot Pockets and Cheetos. Some have both!
When I used to binge regularly and just eat way over what I needed on daily basis, I was ashamed to buy the food. So I would convince myself that if I bought even more junk food, people wouldn't judge me and just think I'm hosting a house party. How messed up that is?! One of my all time greatest achievements so far has been shopping without guilt and being conscious while doing it, so I don't binge anymore.
Still made me ashamed to write this down.
I'm in the middle of my weight loss, and I still find myself going to the grocery store in the morning to buy junk food for breakfast - a frozen pizza, or tater tots, or pizza rolls. All foods that will use my daily allotment of calories in one meal, or almost. Then I skip lunch and have a light dinner. NOT HEALTHY.
And a 2-liter or two of diet Coke. I can just hear the cashier judging me ("you know the diet coke doesn't do anything when you eat two thousand calories of pizza right?")
No one judges me as harshly as I judge myself though. I know I need to stop, it's a waste of money, a waste of time (I do it most weekdays if I can), and a waste of calories.
I have no idea how to stop. I'm going to bring it up in therapy as I know it's related to why I gained weight in the first place (why I am driven to eat too much).
And to be on-topic: it is amazing how much less padding you have in your knees after you lose weight. I have slim legs, even though I'm still a hundred pounds overweight, and I can't sleep with my knees together anymore. I have to have them offset a bit. I can't imagine what it'll be like when I reach goal!
Just going to say... obviously eating pizza and stuff every day isn't the healthiest, but eating 1 big meal and 2 smaller meals isn't harmful if you are happy doing it that way. A lot of people who do IF do 1 big meal, or 2 medium meals and skip one completely, etc... so maybe don't be so hard on yourself about eating most of your calories in 1 meal, and try to fit in some extra veggies somewhere instead.10 -
How much I've started enjoying salads without any dressing. It used to be I had to drench it with ranch or whatever dressing was on hand. Now I find enjoyment in just the taste of the salad itself.
Also how often I'd need to get new belts. It got to the point where I finally just bought one that has holes all throughout it.17 -
I have a side dish of dressing with my salad and only dip my fork in the dressing before scooping the salad. This gives you the flavour of the dressing without drenching the salad. Barley use a teaspoon of dressing this way.25
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You will still likely have your pre-weight loss hangups. I still have to take off my shoes and any possible article of clothing when I get on the scale at the doctor's office. I still worry about a lecture for whatever fluctuation has happened. I still occasionally try to "fix" the fluctuations and upticks before a doctor's appointment with short-term solutions and actions.
SOME people will magically treat you better, which can be disheartening in a weird way. There will still be people who will look down on you for having ever been the size that you were, too. I felt that way recently when dealing with some of my medical team. It felt kind of like 'damned if you do, damned if you don't.'
In fairness it may just be that I am being super sensitive at the moment but it's my perception and I own it.26 -
How much I've started enjoying salads without any dressing. It used to be I had to drench it with ranch or whatever dressing was on hand. Now I find enjoyment in just the taste of the salad itself.
Also how often I'd need to get new belts. It got to the point where I finally just bought one that has holes all throughout it.
I bought a $10 belt hold punch on amazon. It has a rotating head so you can pick the size of the hole you want.14 -
How much I've started enjoying salads without any dressing. It used to be I had to drench it with ranch or whatever dressing was on hand. Now I find enjoyment in just the taste of the salad itself.
Also how often I'd need to get new belts. It got to the point where I finally just bought one that has holes all throughout it.
I bought a $10 belt hold punch on amazon. It has a rotating head so you can pick the size of the hole you want.
Nail set and a hammer is much cheaper, especially if you already have them.
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Negatives,
Something no one told me would happen and my #1 greatest annoyance after losing just shy of 1/3 of my body weight….. (~115kg down to 79kg, 178cm)
The seemingly endless stream of friends (& friends of friends) saying ‘oh yeah I could lose weight like you did if I wanted to, but I am happy right now and I lose weight _so_ easily’
Same crowd that now, after I’ve been lifting weights at the gym for 18months, say ‘oh yeah I could put on muscle so easily, it is easy for me – but I don’t want to look big’
My main issue with these people is actually that it will never be me that starts the conversation about my weight loss and it is almost a dig at me to suggest I am _still_ inferior them somehow and they need to head this off in front of their friends/partners. Truth is they hate the way they look and have a depressingly inaccurate idea of how ‘easy’ any of this is - and that is sad.
Same thing with co-workers who are instantly experts in everything health & fitness when they notice a change in you, endless barrage of why and how you are doing things wrong – despite it _clearly_ working.
The struggle of seeing close friends unable to escape the hold of obesity
Positives,
My weightloss also gave me the strength and confidence to leave a horrible, abusive and controlling marriage – that was a very tricky and unexpected side effect.
I have a significantly better relationship with food – it’s a daily battle, but I understand it. Before this I did not understand it at all.
The attention – yes it is nice after such a long time of being seen as the fat guy.
Being approached by others to help them.
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- How you can look down in the shower and see your “purse”
- How differently your back feels with no rolls
- How you suddenly feel like a a gymnast in the
- How good it feels to tuck your shirts in with a nice designer belt!!!!18 -
brookielaw wrote: »You will still likely have your pre-weight loss hangups. I still have to take off my shoes and any possible article of clothing when I get on the scale at the doctor's office. I still worry about a lecture for whatever fluctuation has happened. I still occasionally try to "fix" the fluctuations and upticks before a doctor's appointment with short-term solutions and actions.
SOME people will magically treat you better, which can be disheartening in a weird way. There will still be people who will look down on you for having ever been the size that you were, too. I felt that way recently when dealing with some of my medical team. It felt kind of like 'damned if you do, damned if you don't.'
In fairness it may just be that I am being super sensitive at the moment but it's my perception and I own it.
Sounds like it was a bit of a stressful doctor's appt. *HUGS* Whether people look down on you or don't (they probably don't, BTW, everyone is usually too caught up in their own stuff to pay as much attention to us as we think they do) you've come a really long way! Hope your day got better after that.12 -
That you might not recognize yourself on a picture...
Mind you, I took the picture myself to send to my bestfriend (had to show off the new hair color). Had to take the picture about 5 times to be really really really sure that, yes, that's really me in that picture. Still. Does not compute.
It's not the hair color. It's the shape of my face. I always thought I had a square face (thanks Dad). But in fact, it's more elongated with a whole lot more angles and curves than I thought. I have a jaw. I have cheekbones. It's not one square lump of something sitting on top of my neck but a very very very pretty face. I frigging
my face!
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That when I'm regularly exercising I crave sugar less.
The last couple months have been the busiest of the year, with 14 hour shifts. Work involves an easy 10k steps, and lifting several pounds periodically, so I haven't felt bad leaving workouts by the wayside. I have, however, felt bad. Cranky, irritable, exhausted, and most of all, I have been craving all the sweets. All of them. When I'm at the bakery I've been fiending hard for broken cookies, cake samples, the occasional mini cream puff. I'd been taking sugar in my coffee, which I never do.
Started up workouts again on Monday and realized that in those two days, nothing at the bakery was even remotely tempting. Not one bite. I've been wanting my good old black coffee. I sat down with Halo Top last night expecting to feast on the whole pint and my sweet tooth maxed out at the 1/2 cup portion. I did want a rich chocolate coconut macaroon that's barely sweetened and made with dark dark cocoa and coconut, and what I wanted especially was the coconut. Whatever my body was craving in sweets, it seems to be getting in exercise, and what it wants in food is something totally else. The habits of 3 months were usurped in less than three days. Weird!
This bodes well since tomorrow starts my 2nd round of Whole30!19 -
glennagael wrote: »That when I'm regularly exercising I crave sugar less.
The last couple months have been the busiest of the year, with 14 hour shifts. Work involves an easy 10k steps, and lifting several pounds periodically, so I haven't felt bad leaving workouts by the wayside. I have, however, felt bad. Cranky, irritable, exhausted, and most of all, I have been craving all the sweets. All of them. When I'm at the bakery I've been fiending hard for broken cookies, cake samples, the occasional mini cream puff. I'd been taking sugar in my coffee, which I never do.
Started up workouts again on Monday and realized that in those two days, nothing at the bakery was even remotely tempting. Not one bite. I've been wanting my good old black coffee. I sat down with Halo Top last night expecting to feast on the whole pint and my sweet tooth maxed out at the 1/2 cup portion. I did want a rich chocolate coconut macaroon that's barely sweetened and made with dark dark cocoa and coconut, and what I wanted especially was the coconut. Whatever my body was craving in sweets, it seems to be getting in exercise, and what it wants in food is something totally else. The habits of 3 months were usurped in less than three days. Weird!
This bodes well since tomorrow starts my 2nd round of Whole30!
How different people are! I don't find myself eating sweets daily, but when I do I notice it usually coincides with higher activity days more often than not.4 -
amusedmonkey wrote: »glennagael wrote: »That when I'm regularly exercising I crave sugar less.
The last couple months have been the busiest of the year, with 14 hour shifts. Work involves an easy 10k steps, and lifting several pounds periodically, so I haven't felt bad leaving workouts by the wayside. I have, however, felt bad. Cranky, irritable, exhausted, and most of all, I have been craving all the sweets. All of them. When I'm at the bakery I've been fiending hard for broken cookies, cake samples, the occasional mini cream puff. I'd been taking sugar in my coffee, which I never do.
Started up workouts again on Monday and realized that in those two days, nothing at the bakery was even remotely tempting. Not one bite. I've been wanting my good old black coffee. I sat down with Halo Top last night expecting to feast on the whole pint and my sweet tooth maxed out at the 1/2 cup portion. I did want a rich chocolate coconut macaroon that's barely sweetened and made with dark dark cocoa and coconut, and what I wanted especially was the coconut. Whatever my body was craving in sweets, it seems to be getting in exercise, and what it wants in food is something totally else. The habits of 3 months were usurped in less than three days. Weird!
This bodes well since tomorrow starts my 2nd round of Whole30!
How different people are! I don't find myself eating sweets daily, but when I do I notice it usually coincides with higher activity days more often than not.
Iv never wanted icecream or donuts mroe thn after lifting. Unfortunatly for me im a mover LOL8 -
JaydedMiss wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »glennagael wrote: »That when I'm regularly exercising I crave sugar less.
The last couple months have been the busiest of the year, with 14 hour shifts. Work involves an easy 10k steps, and lifting several pounds periodically, so I haven't felt bad leaving workouts by the wayside. I have, however, felt bad. Cranky, irritable, exhausted, and most of all, I have been craving all the sweets. All of them. When I'm at the bakery I've been fiending hard for broken cookies, cake samples, the occasional mini cream puff. I'd been taking sugar in my coffee, which I never do.
Started up workouts again on Monday and realized that in those two days, nothing at the bakery was even remotely tempting. Not one bite. I've been wanting my good old black coffee. I sat down with Halo Top last night expecting to feast on the whole pint and my sweet tooth maxed out at the 1/2 cup portion. I did want a rich chocolate coconut macaroon that's barely sweetened and made with dark dark cocoa and coconut, and what I wanted especially was the coconut. Whatever my body was craving in sweets, it seems to be getting in exercise, and what it wants in food is something totally else. The habits of 3 months were usurped in less than three days. Weird!
This bodes well since tomorrow starts my 2nd round of Whole30!
How different people are! I don't find myself eating sweets daily, but when I do I notice it usually coincides with higher activity days more often than not.
Iv never wanted icecream or donuts mroe thn after lifting. Unfortunatly for me im a mover LOL
I didn't crave sweets as much until I lost weight. Before I lost weight I was one of the people that would scrape frosting off cakes, now I would like a bowl of frosting with the cake. Doesn't seem right.8 -
JaydedMiss wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »glennagael wrote: »That when I'm regularly exercising I crave sugar less.
The last couple months have been the busiest of the year, with 14 hour shifts. Work involves an easy 10k steps, and lifting several pounds periodically, so I haven't felt bad leaving workouts by the wayside. I have, however, felt bad. Cranky, irritable, exhausted, and most of all, I have been craving all the sweets. All of them. When I'm at the bakery I've been fiending hard for broken cookies, cake samples, the occasional mini cream puff. I'd been taking sugar in my coffee, which I never do.
Started up workouts again on Monday and realized that in those two days, nothing at the bakery was even remotely tempting. Not one bite. I've been wanting my good old black coffee. I sat down with Halo Top last night expecting to feast on the whole pint and my sweet tooth maxed out at the 1/2 cup portion. I did want a rich chocolate coconut macaroon that's barely sweetened and made with dark dark cocoa and coconut, and what I wanted especially was the coconut. Whatever my body was craving in sweets, it seems to be getting in exercise, and what it wants in food is something totally else. The habits of 3 months were usurped in less than three days. Weird!
This bodes well since tomorrow starts my 2nd round of Whole30!
How different people are! I don't find myself eating sweets daily, but when I do I notice it usually coincides with higher activity days more often than not.
Iv never wanted icecream or donuts mroe thn after lifting. Unfortunatly for me im a mover LOL
I didn't crave sweets as much until I lost weight. Before I lost weight I was one of the people that would scrape frosting off cakes, now I would like a bowl of frosting with the cake. Doesn't seem right.
100% the smaller i got the more i loved sugar....id used to eat savory and now its baked goods ALL THE WAY. Now i want cookies
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amusedmonkey wrote: »glennagael wrote: »That when I'm regularly exercising I crave sugar less.
The last couple months have been the busiest of the year, with 14 hour shifts. Work involves an easy 10k steps, and lifting several pounds periodically, so I haven't felt bad leaving workouts by the wayside. I have, however, felt bad. Cranky, irritable, exhausted, and most of all, I have been craving all the sweets. All of them. When I'm at the bakery I've been fiending hard for broken cookies, cake samples, the occasional mini cream puff. I'd been taking sugar in my coffee, which I never do.
Started up workouts again on Monday and realized that in those two days, nothing at the bakery was even remotely tempting. Not one bite. I've been wanting my good old black coffee. I sat down with Halo Top last night expecting to feast on the whole pint and my sweet tooth maxed out at the 1/2 cup portion. I did want a rich chocolate coconut macaroon that's barely sweetened and made with dark dark cocoa and coconut, and what I wanted especially was the coconut. Whatever my body was craving in sweets, it seems to be getting in exercise, and what it wants in food is something totally else. The habits of 3 months were usurped in less than three days. Weird!
This bodes well since tomorrow starts my 2nd round of Whole30!
How different people are! I don't find myself eating sweets daily, but when I do I notice it usually coincides with higher activity days more often than not.
Mine is when I didn't get enough sleep the day before.
Something else that no one really tells you is that you is that losing weight makes you try to make healthier choices in everything else in life because you're more aware of how things affect you. Sleep is now a priority ALL OF THE TIME. Because not getting enough sleep makes me crave sweets, skip the gym, and overeat.15 -
I never thought about weight loss in my hands. My engagement ring that fit when he proposed in November just slid off my finger the other day when I went to put socks on.16
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I never thought about weight loss in my hands. My engagement ring that fit when he proposed in November just slid off my finger the other day when I went to put socks on.
I got a cheap ring resizer on ebay, a clear spring-like device which you wrap around the band of your ring. It works really well.5 -
If you are good at planning and like to work out, you can still eat a whole pack of crisps and be in caloric deficit.
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gymprincess1234 wrote: »If you are good at planning and like to work out, you can still eat a whole pack of crisps and be in caloric deficit.
Or chocolate!9
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