What was your first “I’m getting fat” realization?
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Mine was tight pants but also fuckwads at work talking *kitten* behind my back about how i "let myself go"......*kitten*....lol 12lbs down and im still salty about it10
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i read a meme yesterday that started with "when a fat girl at the bar" and it made me so sad, to think a "fat" girl doesnt even have a name, or isnt even just a "girl" shes just a fat girl... i am now that fat girl. and i used to think i was fat when i was sitting at 160-180 lbs, now i would die to be there...9
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Cleosweetie wrote: »@marykaylady2010: Yikes. Please proceed with caution with this guy. His comment is very much a red flag. Please don't normalize it.
I read it like he had an honest conversation with her and was very loving in what he said. I think a partner should be able to address weight gain that is causing physical attraction issues.
Not that it's up for a vote, but that's also how I interpreted it. The way it was shared in the post, at least, I got the impression that he was trying to share a specific concern that had negative potential for their relationship, and stressed that it didn't mean he'd stopped loving her. It's such dicey territory, isn't it, and I'm guessing he agonised over whether and how to say something before proceeding.
I think this would make an excellent thread. It seems it's hit a nerve with some of us. "How my weight affects my relationship with my partner?"
@Saragirl2 there's already a thread kind of like that. 61 pages and counting:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10538818/should-your-s-o-spouse-have-a-say-so-if-they-feel-you-are-too-thin-or-too-large#latest1 -
Trying on pants0
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Midwife referred me to a dietitian after my first pregnancy appointment because I was clinically obese. I just thought I was a bit tubby. Oops.
Unfortunately it's been up and down since then! Various things have been wake-up calls:
- Joint pain. I have pronated feet and they can't take the weight, they flatten and throw stress on my joints. That is probably my biggest "why".
- Struggling with stairs and hills
- Never being able to run for more than a few seconds. This has affected me at a lighter weight than many people, again because of the foot problems.
- Someone asked me "when is it due?" but my baby was born nine years ago.
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When someone asked if I was pregnant.
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My co-workers looked at me one day and said "Jesus you're getting fat"5
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When someone asked if I was pregnant.
I always viewed these kind of questions as thinly veiled insults no matter who says them or who its directed at. I would rethink your relationship with whoever it was that said that. Nobody goes around asking people if they are pregnant. There was a reason they said it.
Then again maybe I am just too cynical at times!2 -
My grandparents used to babysit us after school and we'd see them every weekend. My grandma spoiled me through love (just as every grandma does) and gave me whatever I wanted for dinner, as well as lots of sweet treats. I always knew I was big, but I had a lot of friends and kept a good sense of humour about it, so the odd jibe here and there never really bothered me; I just kept getting bigger and bigger.
When my grandma died 3 years ago, we had to clear out her house and we found her diaries dating all the way back to the 70s. We were amazed, and read through a few entries... weekends when I'd come home to visit, she would write about how big I was getting, and how she worried about my health. I was so shocked to read that she'd secretly felt this way and never said anything to me. It took me another 2 years to do something about it but when I turned 29 I heard her words echo in my head, and realised I needed to do something before I got too old or fat to do anything about it.13 -
Embarrassed of pictures of myself at creamfields0
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I started a new job, one where I don't have a dress code so I started wearing my jeans to work only to realize that they were uncomfortably tight around the stomach area, I had already realized my thighs were getting bigger but thought it was just unavoidable genetics. So now, I only have one pair of jeans that fit well and thats when the clouds faded and I saw what I really looked like in the mirror. It's amazing how naive and blind I was to the real facts.0
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crying when the doctor told me i was about 20 pounds heavier than i had EVER imagined1
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I always knew in my mind but it really hit me when my aunt, who has always been bigger than me, started weight watchers and lost a ton of weight and wanted me to go through her clothing that was now too big to see if I wanted anything before she donated it. It all fit me....4
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Getting someone to take my picture somewhere special and then deciding not to post it. Before that. I almost never posted selfies; after that I switched to selfies since they show just head and shoulders. Now I like seeing my whole body profile shots again.0
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Yesterday. Easter weekend took its toll.2
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I had the perfect life, on paper. I had an amazingly loving boyfriend who loved me even when I gained 100 lbs in 5 years. We had a wonderful home and a cat and a great life.
But on the inside, I was struggling to keep up. I was constantly exhausted, felt insecure that I couldn't kayak anymore. I was never one who turned to food when I was depressed, but suddenly nothing felt better than eating when he was at work where I wouldn't be judged. NOT THAT HE EVER DID. I literally let my borderline personality disorder start to control my life, created more anxiety, I felt insecure about myself, we stopped being intimate etc. He never once made me feel unloved or cherished, but the way I saw myself as disgusting, and fat, and worthless did so much emotional damage. It finally culminated after a few months of his love and support but not knowing how to help me in ending the relationship after 5 and a half years. I realized I was the one who pushed him away with how I felt. I had to change.
So I've lost 45 already, woohoo! I started going back to therapy. I try to do things I couldn't do at my heaviest *323 lbs* like 5ks, kick boxing, HiiT workouts.
My ultimate hope is to get my mental health back on track, same for my physical, and become the person he deserves to be with again.
Here's to hoping and here's to staying accountable.15 -
My sister-in-laws wedding. I managed to some how be in almost every picture whether the front of me or the back and my butt was huge and I was so round!! My husband is like 140lbs wet and I looked like a float in the Macy's thanksgiving day parade!! I decided to get the weight off after my mother-in-law told me I had a fat face!! Like wow thanks for that! June 2017 I started at 290lbs and currently struggling with 248lbs-256lbs. I can't seem to get past that. I hope to be 200lbs by December. Will it happen? I hope so!!6
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I always knew I was fat.. I was bullied for it before I even reached an "overweight" weight because my face was round as a kid and I was kinda soft all over - even at a (higher end of) normal
the biggest "i need to do something about this" was when I saw 90kg on my scales and I was struggling to find clothes big enough to fit me in normal clothing stores1 -
The day after Easter last year. I was looking at a picture from Easter of my daughter (5 months old at the time) and me and my face looked soo puffy. I had 3 kids in 4 years and knew I had put on weight but just figured that's what happens when you have kids. I also was tired and just felt gross the majority of the time. I decided to see how much the scale said and weighed in at 165 lbs (5'6''). I was horrified. When I got pregnant with my now 6 year old, I was 145 and knew even then I wanted to lose a little weight. I immediately took a "before" picture, determined to drop weight. At the time, my goal was 145. A year later, I'm at 118 and very happy with my weight and build. I always thought I was "big boned" but it turns out I was just overweight.3
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At about 3mo postpartum I had stopped losing the baby weight naturally. I noticed that a fav cozy t shirt of mine (men’s large) was getting snugger and snugger. It took another month before I got up off my rear and started logging and exercising again. Down I think about 17-18lbs since Jan 9 and back to pre-preg weight. Aiming to lose another 15 or so.2
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passenger79 wrote: »
ETA : Oh and when my comfy ,loose jeans became too tight .
This. When my "fat" clothes are tight and I can only wear 15% of the stuff in the closet.0 -
I was always bullied for my weight when I was a kid, so some people always reminded me that I'm fat as hell. In 6th grade I was sitting in school and someone asked my name. My surname means 'big' in my language, and when I introduced myself the girl told me 'Well, you are really big, haha'. That hurt me so much but at that time I couldn't do much about it. In high school I was managed to drop 10 kgs in 3 months, and I was at a pretty healthy weight but always on the rather overweight side. Then when I started uni, PE classes stopped, I just fell in love with my BF and we ate a lot of junk food in the beginning. Then in the summer when we went on a trip we took photos and I was so sad looking at them, that I gained back that 10 kgs in a few years, so I decided to make changes. I'm 60 kgs now, almost at my goal weight and I know that I will never be that 'big girl' again. However I still see myself fat, and hate so many things on my body, I think those childhood memories won't fade away ever...4
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My jeans getting tight, being unable to conceal the muffin top, and having to buy a dress for a wedding in a UK size 20. The photos from that wedding really shook me into action.2
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As the saying goes, "pictures don't lie". I could suck in my gut when looking in the mirror and think I wasn't too bad but seeing pictures from multiple angles you see how you really look.
Starting to have heartburn problems was another strong hint.2 -
Pictures of myself. Rude awakening!
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I lost about 70 pounds twenty years ago, felt great, loved being able to buy cute clothes. Then life and so much stress happened and I gained it back plus some. Two years ago I started MFP, lost ten pounds and then had a health crisis that caused me to lose another 50 pounds very fast. I was relieved to have a bump in my weight loss but didn't sustain it (more life stress, more eating my feelings) and I gained back 40.
I was trying to get myself to commit to a sustained effort when my sister (one year older than me) died suddenly in early 12/17. She was 5'2" and about 35 pounds overweight. Her doctor said her sedentary lifestyle caused her death. I've always been far more active than she was but also heavier. Six weeks after she died, my favorite aunt (who was healthy weight but didn't take care of herself at all) died. Two weeks before that my bipolar son tried to commit suicide. I ate myself into about ten extra pounds in two months.
I was so depressed. I saw a therapist for three weeks and decided what I REALLY knew would help would be to eat better and get my hiney into the gym every day. So I did. Within a few days I had stopped crying every day. I'm three weeks in and have lost 10 pounds.16 -
Wow, so many amazing stories: utahjulia, that's heart breaking. I think grief has a physical effect on your body as well...
I've always bounced around, but when I was in my 20s and 30s the bounces were 10 pounds. I wasn't over a 25 BMI until my early 40s, when the bounces became 30 pounds, then 40 pounds, then 50...
No major lightbulb moment for me this time, but I had to get a new Driver's License photo back in January. I wasn't expecting it, so I was 206 pounds, needing a haircut and badly dressed. I look like a large slab of lard with tiny pebbles for eyes, and seem so unlike myself that it's actually laughable. I'm seriously considering using it as a 'before' shot.
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My moment(s) came when:
1) I saw myself in pictures. I thought I was rocking that cute outfit until I saw what the camera saw.
2) My "fat" pants were getting too snug and I was wearing my husband's extra large shirts to hide the belly.
3) While sitting at my desk, I noticed that my pants seemed to be cutting me in half.
Logged back into MFP and started taking calories seriously. Down 38 lbs in less than 7 months and I couldn't be happier!8 -
Wow, so many amazing stories: utahjulia, that's heart breaking. I think grief has a physical effect on your body as well...
I've always bounced around, but when I was in my 20s and 30s the bounces were 10 pounds. I wasn't over a 25 BMI until my early 40s, when the bounces became 30 pounds, then 40 pounds, then 50...
No major lightbulb moment for me this time, but I had to get a new Driver's License photo back in January. I wasn't expecting it, so I was 206 pounds, needing a haircut and badly dressed. I look like a large slab of lard with tiny pebbles for eyes, and seem so unlike myself that it's actually laughable. I'm seriously considering using it as a 'before' shot.
Thank you. And I can relate to horrible driver's license photos.1
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