Less alcohol- February 2018- one day at a time
Replies
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Day 10 AF ! So excited that I made it this far, will keep going.
Still sticking to seltzer water with fruit in the evenings or if I'm out at bar or restaurant.
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Unfortunately, we cannot learn moderation. Here is why:
Alcohol does not work in moderation. If you havent had a drink in a couple weeks and then try a beer or wine, it will be uncomfortable if not yucky....most likely you wont like it....
Alcohol is only yum when you are drinking it often and in abundance NOT in moderation. You like alcohol when you drink it daily after work, your body know and expects the pleasure....
Therefore, I must bear the bad news that its all or nothing for us borderline alcoholics. I am as sad about it as you
Not negative, almost definitely true. I’ve not liked the taste after having a glass of wine after not drinking for a few weeks. I wasn’t drinking every night either, just at the weekends. Losing the taste for it has been the biggest surprise for me. It’s a positive not negative!6 -
Unfortunately, we cannot learn moderation. Here is why:
Alcohol does not work in moderation. If you havent had a drink in a couple weeks and then try a beer or wine, it will be uncomfortable if not yucky....most likely you wont like it....
Alcohol is only yum when you are drinking it often and in abundance NOT in moderation. You like alcohol when you drink it daily after work, your body know and expects the pleasure....
Therefore, I must bear the bad news that its all or nothing for us borderline alcoholics. I am as sad about it as you
I respectfully disagree. Other than 1 person in my rather large circle of friends and family, every single one of us moderates successfully. In almost every single case it's 2 and done. Others are done with 1.
To be honest, I haven't been around someone who has been drunk in many, many years.
It is most possible to moderate. I have beer in my fridge that can sit for weeks on end to prove it.
The statement that moderation is not possible is a very skewed view of the whole. Perhaps if someone is an alcoholic, then your statement would apply.1 -
@NormInv I agree 100%. I can't moderate either. I really believe some people just have addictive personalities. I used to smoke and I had to give that up completely to kick the habit. I've always been envious of people that could have 1 cigarette every 3 months or something. That being said, I've had one glass of wine in the last 11 days and that was only because the group I was with are not big drinkers; 4 of us shared a bottle over a nice dinner and that was that. But if they had ordered another, I would have indulged in that as well. For me it is easier to have none. I'll be with 3 other drinkers in a beach town expecting rain all weekend so wish me luck. I'm armed with my copy of "Alcohol Explained." Man, is that eye opening. My husband is getting annoyed with me reading quotes aloud out of it while he is drinking a beer lol. Anyway, I'm wishing everyone luck with their personal goals this weekend. And may I add, this discussion with you fine people has truly transformed my life. @JulieAL1969 please keep this thread going indefinitely. I would miss you all too much if you went away!13
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jenifer7teen wrote: »DCRunnerGirl78 wrote: »I managed 21 AF days in January, but the 10 drinking days were doozies. I'm starting with a clean slate for February, and plan to stay dry all month. I'd really like to keep it up all the way through my yearly check-up in April, but I'm just taking it one day at a time.
2/1-dry
I drank 12 days out of january...but like you some of those were really heavy....like 4-7glasses of wine?!
My goal for feb is single digits- 9 days (or less) total of drinking.... but ZERO drinking days to exceed one bottle of wine!
Also i am saving $10.00 in a jar each sober day. So last month i saved $180.00
I liked the little ritual of tossing the money in as i fought my last urge for a night cap...and instead making my cup of tea and heading to bed feeling proud instead of ashamed.
I might be one of the heaviest alcoholics in this thread (averaged close to a bottle of wine six days a week). But i work out 1-2 hours a day and have such a high tolerance that weaning down like this (vs. Abstaining) seems to be the only way i can succeed.
Good luck everyone. Reading these posts (from january) helped me stay focused and i am sure i will need them this month too.
I was drinking 9 beers a night this time last year. I'm down to 6 or 7, and my goal is to keep it at 6. Trying to beat my January 50% success rate. We can do this!
9 Mich Ultras for me for about a year. My tolerance had greatly increased since I retired. I tried moderation, but always found myself back at the 8-9 range. I actually felt better at 5-7. Anyway, early evening on 1/10, I counted the beers I had already drank and I was astounded at the amount. I didn't even feel drunk. I said, "THAT'S ENOUGH!!!" and poured everything out. I felt sort of blah the next day, but again didn't feel that bad. That also was a huge red flag to me! I haven't had a beer since. This evening will be a month alcohol free. It hasn't been easy and I did have some withdrawals because of the amount I was drinking for so long, but it is getting less bad. I am craving sugar, which will have to be dealt with too, since I'm pre-diabetic.
I've been wanting to take this step for a long time, and so glad I found this thread. Everyone here is doing well. We all know how challenging it is. Wishing all success on your personal alcohol journeys. 16 -
Trying to cut off my weekday drinking, as I was getting through around 3 pints of strong belgian beer every night alongside uncounted glasses of sparkling wine at work receptions.
Been hard to explain why i'm only drinking water to colleagues at those, and I miss my beer with dinners. Alot of the stuff I watch on netflix seems less interesting without being mildly drunk too.
But yeah, new plan is to stick to just friday drinks with friends. Only been 5 days and i'm already finding it hard though, was so tempted to pour myself a glass of whisky yesterday.
That said, in relation to the conversatin above, I don't want to kick alcohol entirely- I enjoy having a few drinks with friends, and at work i'm going to have to drink now and then for appearance's sake anyway.5 -
I wished I could remember the procedure the Physical Therapist did with me to eliminate the vertigo. I got it something bad after a drinking spell. I saw it on YouTube as well.0
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Unfortunately, we cannot learn moderation. Here is why:
Alcohol does not work in moderation. If you havent had a drink in a couple weeks and then try a beer or wine, it will be uncomfortable if not yucky....most likely you wont like it....
Alcohol is only yum when you are drinking it often and in abundance NOT in moderation. You like alcohol when you drink it daily after work, your body know and expects the pleasure....
Therefore, I must bear the bad news that its all or nothing for us borderline alcoholics. I am as sad about it as you
I respectfully disagree. Other than 1 person in my rather large circle of friends and family, every single one of us moderates successfully. In almost every single case it's 2 and done. Others are done with 1.
To be honest, I haven't been around someone who has been drunk in many, many years.
It is most possible to moderate. I have beer in my fridge that can sit for weeks on end to prove it.
The statement that moderation is not possible is a very skewed view of the whole. Perhaps if someone is an alcoholic, then your statement would apply.
He wrapped it up with that sentiment. What's been so important about this thread is the fact that some of us have realized we simply can't and in that case it's much easier to stay out than to get back out.
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It's strange ... over the last year or two I had developed a daily habit of a glass of wine or a beer at the end of every day. Now it's been about (I'm not sure exactly as I wasn't counting or trying not to drink) about 4 weeks I guess, I simply don't miss it. But I DO love not having that drink. (Whereas I thought I loved .having a drink, I actually love NOT having a drink).
I went out for dinner tonight, it's a Friday night, so I thought, ah why not. It's not like I've made a commitment to never drink again or anything like that. But actually, I decided NOT to, as it would be too easy to get back into it, so I thought total abstinence would be better. I did however kinda use this as an excuse to eat something I normally wouldn't plus I had some chips on the side. Call it a cheat day I guess ... still feels like a victory, so I guess the scales may or may not be kind to me tomorrow.
I do however now want to pledge a dry February.
I love reading everyone else's stories, struggles, and insights. I just feel then I am not alone and that I am supported in a way. So that you all, and good luck everyone with making healthy choices for yourselves x8 -
My love for wine was a big part of gaining weight. I was enjoying my cocktail hour each day with 3-4 glasses of wine. I went alcohol free in January, and have continued into February. I have been losing steadily, and am feeling great. My plan is to have a celebratory glass when I reach my goal weight. I hope to be able to work a couple of glasses of wine into my weekly maintenance plan when I get there. (about ten more pounds)7
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Happy Friday! http://money.cnn.com/2018/02/09/news/beer-non-alcoholic/index.html
Great article on non-alcoholic brews are a new trend and growing field! yahoo!6 -
islandbeez wrote: »Unfortunately, we cannot learn moderation. Here is why:
Alcohol does not work in moderation. If you havent had a drink in a couple weeks and then try a beer or wine, it will be uncomfortable if not yucky....most likely you wont like it....
Alcohol is only yum when you are drinking it often and in abundance NOT in moderation. You like alcohol when you drink it daily after work, your body know and expects the pleasure....
Therefore, I must bear the bad news that its all or nothing for us borderline alcoholics. I am as sad about it as you
Sad but true. I was never a daily drinker but when I drank, I would Drink. It. All. If I had 2 bottles of wine and a half pint of fireball I would drink every drop. Eventually I did stop the binging though, and shifted to daily and all day if I didn't have to work. I am an all or nothing drinker, so for me, there is no moderation. It sucks, but it is what it is.
Sorry if that was negative though. Everyone is different and maybe some can moderate
I think you're right. That's what the literature says as well. For daily drinkers, it's manageable because you probably set limits and don't have an addiction.
For people like me, there is no limit, once I start I am done for! I go into overdrive and finish it all. I think it's a progressive illness for me. I used to get drunk on one or two drinks 20 years ago. I used to only drink weekends if I was at a party. Then, weekend drinking started at home ten years ago. It progressed to having a few nights during the week having a drink at home. And so on. For me, it is a progressive addiction.6 -
I am so inspired by this thread! I read it everyday and find myself nodding along with many of the comments made. I am one of those who is not planning on never drinking but I've gone from several beers a weekday (more each weekend/non-working day) to a few a weekend. My goal was to stop the daily drinking and to lose weight and I'm winning on both counts. I have a long journey to reach my weight goal and I plan on sticking with no more than 3 or 4 beers/glasses of wine a week for the duration.
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jenifer7teen wrote: »DCRunnerGirl78 wrote: »I managed 21 AF days in January, but the 10 drinking days were doozies. I'm starting with a clean slate for February, and plan to stay dry all month. I'd really like to keep it up all the way through my yearly check-up in April, but I'm just taking it one day at a time.
2/1-dry
I drank 12 days out of january...but like you some of those were really heavy....like 4-7glasses of wine?!
My goal for feb is single digits- 9 days (or less) total of drinking.... but ZERO drinking days to exceed one bottle of wine!
Also i am saving $10.00 in a jar each sober day. So last month i saved $180.00
I liked the little ritual of tossing the money in as i fought my last urge for a night cap...and instead making my cup of tea and heading to bed feeling proud instead of ashamed.
I might be one of the heaviest alcoholics in this thread (averaged close to a bottle of wine six days a week). But i work out 1-2 hours a day and have such a high tolerance that weaning down like this (vs. Abstaining) seems to be the only way i can succeed.
Good luck everyone. Reading these posts (from january) helped me stay focused and i am sure i will need them this month too.
I was drinking 9 beers a night this time last year. I'm down to 6 or 7, and my goal is to keep it at 6. Trying to beat my January 50% success rate. We can do this!
9 Mich Ultras for me for about a year. My tolerance had greatly increased since I retired. I tried moderation, but always found myself back at the 8-9 range. I actually felt better at 5-7. Anyway, early evening on 1/10, I counted the beers I had already drank and I was astounded at the amount. I didn't even feel drunk. I said, "THAT'S ENOUGH!!!" and poured everything out. I felt sort of blah the next day, but again didn't feel that bad. That also was a huge red flag to me! I haven't had a beer since. This evening will be a month alcohol free. It hasn't been easy and I did have some withdrawals because of the amount I was drinking for so long, but it is getting less bad. I am craving sugar, which will have to be dealt with too, since I'm pre-diabetic. I've been wanting to take this step for a long time, and so glad I found this thread. Everyone here is doing well. We all know how challenging it is. Wishing all success on your personal alcohol journeys.
Congratulations on your success! Have you thought about sugar free sweets or fruit to curb your sweet tooth?2 -
I don’t know if these books have been mentioned already: A Happier Hour by Rebecca Weller, and Girl Walks Out of a Bar by Lisa F. Smith.springsweet wrote: »Oh! One more thing - I sped read through This Naked Mind and Blackout, and now I don't have anything to read. I plan to reread TNM, but I want something new for now. Anybody have any good suggestions? TIA~
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I have been sober since January 1 and enjoying it. Amazing how much more present I am in my own life and in relationships.
I love drinking. There’s a point between 3-6 shots that I am better at everything. Conversation, golf, bowling, everything. But there is an ugly stage past that numbs my thoughts and interactions after that that I have avoided and I couldn’t have been happier to eliminate that from my life these last few weeks.
I have also been pretty lucky that those around me have supported my goal and peer pressured me to stick with it rather than trying to get me to indulge with them...maybe they like the designated driver.
This is my sixth week sober and I am looking forward to another weekend rather than fearing it lije when I began this journey. Reading all of your experiences have helped!
And I am thankful for that!!!12 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »I think I'll pass on the event. I think it may make me cave:)
@JulieAL1969 I hate to think about you missing the fun! GO! Think of it as exercising your AF muscle. I know you won't cave after all this time and you will be so proud of yourself when you don't. But I totally respect how you might be fearful.0 -
Got through Mon-Thurs just fine, happy to say. Today is supposedly a day I allow myself to drink, so we'll see how that goes. Need to really focus on just one glass. This week's alcohol-free drink experiment will be Trader Joe's Sparkling White Chardonnay Grape Juice. Just picked up a bottle while I was shopping for other stuff. We shall see. Hard to imagine anything being worse than the Fre chard, now poured out and bottle recycled.3
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Pretty successful dry Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. One unplanned night with two glasses of wine but it was an impromptu and needed date night. I absolutely love not being a daily drinker. I think I’m ok with moderating. This thread helps a ton!! This weekend I’m having wine at my moms birthday party but limiting to two glasses and then allowing myself two more glasses through the weekend. That will keep me under the 14 units/ 6 glasses a week I want to stay under.5
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SanDiegofitmom wrote: »springsweet wrote: »It still baffles me that some people have never experienced a blackout.
It’s been a long time- do you know about how many drinks it takes to give you a blackout? Two drinks is my happy place too. In terms of books it’s not an alcohol book but it did change my mindset and help me tremendously with anxiety — I loved Practicing the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle - it feeds well into all of this because he teaches you to be the observer of your mind and disregard so much of the thoughts that pop up. For example, lately when I get some cravings for wine- I sort of step outside of my thought and view it and say, oh that’s just my mind wanting a drink but I - ME don’t want to drink. I can be present and disregard that thought and feeling. Sounds weird but it’s really lifechanging
Based on the last two times I blacked out, 5 beers (the last was high gravity) and 4 glasses of wine.
And I love Eckhart Tolle!
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springsweet wrote: »It still baffles me that some people have never experienced a blackout.
I guess I am not really understanding what your experience of blackout is. I have had too much to drink at times and passed out. Or to much to drink and don't recall the entire evenings events. Is either of those what you mean?
Please refer to pages 14-16 in 'Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget' by Sarah Hepola. She describes it well, as only someone who repeatedly suffered from blackouts can.
But to paraphrase, at some certain point, your blood reaches a saturation point and shuts down the hippocampus, the part of your brain which makes long-term memories. Just shuts down. No more memories. Your short-term memory still works but only lasts less than 2 minutes (which explains why wasted ppl repeat themselves). They vary from person to person, and are very sneaky. And you can be highly functional during a blackout. I'll never forget my good friend from college telling me about the night we met when he helped me puke up a bunch of whisky, but in between barfs, my speech was completely coherent. I seemed fine, besides the fact I was slumped over a stranger's toilet. Some blackouts are worse than others. Sometimes you may have a "brownout", which Sarah explains with the example, "Perhaps you remember ordering your drink, but not walking to the bar." I've had too many brownouts to count.
Many people confuse blacking out with passing out. Oh how I wished I passed out instead of blacked out. All those nights I said hurtful things to people I loved... so much damage and regret.
Anyway, hope this answered your question. I highly recommend that book though. I hated for it to end.7 -
lporter229 wrote: »Well, last night was a big failure. I had been very happy with how I had been able to moderate for the past 5 or so weeks, but I think somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that a failure was coming. I say this mostly because trying to drink moderately was taking way more effort than it should have. I didn't go way overboard, but I did drink more than I had planned and enough to make me feel like crap today. It started with me pouring a glass of wine from a bottle that had about 13 oz left in it while I was cooking dinner. I think I knew right there that I was going to finish the wine and that would have been okay because that is just slightly over 2 drinks. But then my husband decided to make a Manhattan, to which I said, "That looks good. Make me one too". Long story short, my night ended with me drinking a double Manhattan, 13 oz of wine and polishing off a bag of potato chips with me husband. I woke up feeling crappy and did not do my morning yoga as planned.
So, I think I still have to re-evaluate my ability to "moderate". I can do okay for a while, but then I have those days like yesterday. I guess I have to decide if I am okay with this (I think I am not), because I know in my mind that as long as I continue to allow alcohol in my life, those "days" are going to happen. I am going to try and continue to moderate as planned for the rest of the month. I will be turning 46 on the last day of February. If I decide to try and eliminate alcohol completely, I think that starting my 47th year off with a fresh start on March first would be a great way to do it. We shall see.
If nothing else, this thread has definitely made me do some serious soul searching these past few weeks.
I swear, you are my long lost twin @lporter229 ! lol Our drinking patterns are very similar.
Yesterday when I got off work, I had the worst headache. And all I could think about was getting home, changing into comfy clothes and having a glass of red wine on the couch. So that's what I did. Stopped and bought a bottle of Pinot Noir on the way home and had 2 glasses. Some things I noticed:
1. The wine did not smell appealing when I first sniffed it (before I had my first sip).
2. My headache started to vanish as soon as I started drinking the wine. But why? My hubby guessed maybe it's the sugar? I'm not sure, but that's exactly why I was craving it!
3. After I finished my first glass, I got up and poured my second. Then I sat back down and realized I actually felt good at that point - the happy buzz phase I described earlier. So if I hadn't already poured a second glass, I would have stopped then. But I wasn't going to waste the glass I had poured!
So I had 2 glasses and stopped. Which is what I wanted to do. I woke up this morning with a slight headache, but otherwise felt fine. If I had stopped after 1 glass, I think I would have been perfect. I take that back, I do feel more bloated and full today.
This is how I want to drink from here on out. But like @Normlnv mentioned, I'm not sure if that's possible because every "good, moderate" day is always followed by a bad day, or so history says.4 -
springsweet wrote: »Many people confuse blacking out with passing out. Oh how I wished I passed out instead of blacked out. All those nights I said hurtful things to people I loved... so much damage and regret.
Anyway, hope this answered your question. I highly recommend that book though. I hated for it to end.
I am with you here. I always wondered why I didn't have the decency to just pass the eff out. Would have been so much better that way
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islandbeez wrote: »springsweet wrote: »Many people confuse blacking out with passing out. Oh how I wished I passed out instead of blacked out. All those nights I said hurtful things to people I loved... so much damage and regret.
Anyway, hope this answered your question. I highly recommend that book though. I hated for it to end.
I am with you here. I always wondered why I didn't have the decency to just pass the eff out. Would have been so much better that way
Exactly, I'm like the stupid energizer bunny just going and going and going... SMH. I hate it!4 -
Thanku everyone, very helpful and supportive.
The other question is, what else other than alcohol will give that "buzz", or " let your hair down" , relaxed feel..?
This is a bit scary bcoz.. for some families this is what is their main or one of thier " hold together".
Its really sad bcoz there not that real love and respect bteen them.
Weed!!!
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It's strange ... over the last year or two I had developed a daily habit of a glass of wine or a beer at the end of every day. Now it's been about (I'm not sure exactly as I wasn't counting or trying not to drink) about 4 weeks I guess, I simply don't miss it. But I DO love not having that drink. (Whereas I thought I loved .having a drink, I actually love NOT having a drink).
I went out for dinner tonight, it's a Friday night, so I thought, ah why not. It's not like I've made a commitment to never drink again or anything like that. But actually, I decided NOT to, as it would be too easy to get back into it, so I thought total abstinence would be better. I did however kinda use this as an excuse to eat something I normally wouldn't plus I had some chips on the side. Call it a cheat day I guess ... still feels like a victory, so I guess the scales may or may not be kind to me tomorrow.
I do however now want to pledge a dry February.
I love reading everyone else's stories, struggles, and insights. I just feel then I am not alone and that I am supported in a way. So that you all, and good luck everyone with making healthy choices for yourselves x
^^^ This is me .... I love not drinking ... guess it's something fairly new and possibly the novelty will wear off, so my commitment is at least for Jan, Feb, Mar 2018, to test drive AF lifestyle. At this point, anyway, I don't think it would enhance my life to drink wine again.2 -
The Epley Maneuver is used in Physical Therapy to treat vertigo. It works.1
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I'm in - for me it is more of a ritual activity that signifies that I'm home, relaxed or that I'm out having fun. I don't drink soda; water isn't that much fun, so I'm looking for crafted drinks that are low sugar and AF. Not too many ingredients. Maybe something with cucumber... Thanks!!2
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Last night was another hard one but I did not drink. I noticed I was really cranky. This is the second time this week I've gotten cranky because I am not drinking. My poor sweet partner. He's also abstaining and I don't want to make him miserable through this process.
Is anyone else noticing grouchiness or irritability while not drinking? Any tips or suggestions?
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Last night was another hard one but I did not drink. I noticed I was really cranky. This is the second time this week I've gotten cranky because I am not drinking. My poor sweet partner. He's also abstaining and I don't want to make him miserable through this process.
Is anyone else noticing grouchiness or irritability while not drinking? Any tips or suggestions?
Yes. Often, during that first week. I don't really have any tips except to just deal with it and they'll pass over time. Soon you'll just start feeling good. 2
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