Less alcohol- February 2018- one day at a time
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springsweet wrote: »It still baffles me that some people have never experienced a blackout.
I guess I am not really understanding what your experience of blackout is. I have had too much to drink at times and passed out. Or to much to drink and don't recall the entire evenings events. Is either of those what you mean?
Please refer to pages 14-16 in 'Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget' by Sarah Hepola. She describes it well, as only someone who repeatedly suffered from blackouts can.
But to paraphrase, at some certain point, your blood reaches a saturation point and shuts down the hippocampus, the part of your brain which makes long-term memories. Just shuts down. No more memories. Your short-term memory still works but only lasts less than 2 minutes (which explains why wasted ppl repeat themselves). They vary from person to person, and are very sneaky. And you can be highly functional during a blackout. I'll never forget my good friend from college telling me about the night we met when he helped me puke up a bunch of whisky, but in between barfs, my speech was completely coherent. I seemed fine, besides the fact I was slumped over a stranger's toilet. Some blackouts are worse than others. Sometimes you may have a "brownout", which Sarah explains with the example, "Perhaps you remember ordering your drink, but not walking to the bar." I've had too many brownouts to count.
Many people confuse blacking out with passing out. Oh how I wished I passed out instead of blacked out. All those nights I said hurtful things to people I loved... so much damage and regret.
Anyway, hope this answered your question. I highly recommend that book though. I hated for it to end.7 -
lporter229 wrote: »Well, last night was a big failure. I had been very happy with how I had been able to moderate for the past 5 or so weeks, but I think somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that a failure was coming. I say this mostly because trying to drink moderately was taking way more effort than it should have. I didn't go way overboard, but I did drink more than I had planned and enough to make me feel like crap today. It started with me pouring a glass of wine from a bottle that had about 13 oz left in it while I was cooking dinner. I think I knew right there that I was going to finish the wine and that would have been okay because that is just slightly over 2 drinks. But then my husband decided to make a Manhattan, to which I said, "That looks good. Make me one too". Long story short, my night ended with me drinking a double Manhattan, 13 oz of wine and polishing off a bag of potato chips with me husband. I woke up feeling crappy and did not do my morning yoga as planned.
So, I think I still have to re-evaluate my ability to "moderate". I can do okay for a while, but then I have those days like yesterday. I guess I have to decide if I am okay with this (I think I am not), because I know in my mind that as long as I continue to allow alcohol in my life, those "days" are going to happen. I am going to try and continue to moderate as planned for the rest of the month. I will be turning 46 on the last day of February. If I decide to try and eliminate alcohol completely, I think that starting my 47th year off with a fresh start on March first would be a great way to do it. We shall see.
If nothing else, this thread has definitely made me do some serious soul searching these past few weeks.
I swear, you are my long lost twin @lporter229 ! lol Our drinking patterns are very similar.
Yesterday when I got off work, I had the worst headache. And all I could think about was getting home, changing into comfy clothes and having a glass of red wine on the couch. So that's what I did. Stopped and bought a bottle of Pinot Noir on the way home and had 2 glasses. Some things I noticed:
1. The wine did not smell appealing when I first sniffed it (before I had my first sip).
2. My headache started to vanish as soon as I started drinking the wine. But why? My hubby guessed maybe it's the sugar? I'm not sure, but that's exactly why I was craving it!
3. After I finished my first glass, I got up and poured my second. Then I sat back down and realized I actually felt good at that point - the happy buzz phase I described earlier. So if I hadn't already poured a second glass, I would have stopped then. But I wasn't going to waste the glass I had poured!
So I had 2 glasses and stopped. Which is what I wanted to do. I woke up this morning with a slight headache, but otherwise felt fine. If I had stopped after 1 glass, I think I would have been perfect.
I take that back, I do feel more bloated and full today.
This is how I want to drink from here on out. But like @Normlnv mentioned, I'm not sure if that's possible because every "good, moderate" day is always followed by a bad day, or so history says.4 -
springsweet wrote: »Many people confuse blacking out with passing out. Oh how I wished I passed out instead of blacked out. All those nights I said hurtful things to people I loved... so much damage and regret.
Anyway, hope this answered your question. I highly recommend that book though. I hated for it to end.
I am with you here. I always wondered why I didn't have the decency to just pass the eff out. Would have been so much better that way
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islandbeez wrote: »springsweet wrote: »Many people confuse blacking out with passing out. Oh how I wished I passed out instead of blacked out. All those nights I said hurtful things to people I loved... so much damage and regret.
Anyway, hope this answered your question. I highly recommend that book though. I hated for it to end.
I am with you here. I always wondered why I didn't have the decency to just pass the eff out. Would have been so much better that way
Exactly, I'm like the stupid energizer bunny just going and going and going... SMH. I hate it!4 -
Thanku everyone, very helpful and supportive.
The other question is, what else other than alcohol will give that "buzz", or " let your hair down" , relaxed feel..?
This is a bit scary bcoz.. for some families this is what is their main or one of thier " hold together".
Its really sad bcoz there not that real love and respect bteen them.
Weed!!!
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It's strange ... over the last year or two I had developed a daily habit of a glass of wine or a beer at the end of every day. Now it's been about (I'm not sure exactly as I wasn't counting or trying not to drink) about 4 weeks I guess, I simply don't miss it. But I DO love not having that drink. (Whereas I thought I loved .having a drink, I actually love NOT having a drink).
I went out for dinner tonight, it's a Friday night, so I thought, ah why not. It's not like I've made a commitment to never drink again or anything like that. But actually, I decided NOT to, as it would be too easy to get back into it, so I thought total abstinence would be better. I did however kinda use this as an excuse to eat something I normally wouldn't plus I had some chips on the side. Call it a cheat day I guess ... still feels like a victory, so I guess the scales may or may not be kind to me tomorrow.
I do however now want to pledge a dry February.
I love reading everyone else's stories, struggles, and insights. I just feel then I am not alone and that I am supported in a way. So that you all, and good luck everyone with making healthy choices for yourselves x
^^^ This is me .... I love not drinking ... guess it's something fairly new and possibly the novelty will wear off, so my commitment is at least for Jan, Feb, Mar 2018, to test drive AF lifestyle. At this point, anyway, I don't think it would enhance my life to drink wine again.2 -
The Epley Maneuver is used in Physical Therapy to treat vertigo. It works.1
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I'm in - for me it is more of a ritual activity that signifies that I'm home, relaxed or that I'm out having fun. I don't drink soda; water isn't that much fun, so I'm looking for crafted drinks that are low sugar and AF. Not too many ingredients. Maybe something with cucumber... Thanks!!2
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Last night was another hard one but I did not drink. I noticed I was really cranky. This is the second time this week I've gotten cranky because I am not drinking. My poor sweet partner. He's also abstaining and I don't want to make him miserable through this process.
Is anyone else noticing grouchiness or irritability while not drinking? Any tips or suggestions?
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Last night was another hard one but I did not drink. I noticed I was really cranky. This is the second time this week I've gotten cranky because I am not drinking. My poor sweet partner. He's also abstaining and I don't want to make him miserable through this process.
Is anyone else noticing grouchiness or irritability while not drinking? Any tips or suggestions?
Yes. Often, during that first week. I don't really have any tips except to just deal with it and they'll pass over time. Soon you'll just start feeling good. 2 -
I am also in! Now that football season is over it will be a lot easier for me! Lol! Good luck to everyone!4
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Last night was my first AF night of February, I told myself that I wasn't going to drink 3 other nights this month but repeatedly failed. It took 3 nights of sleeping poorly and feeling absolutely horrible the next day for me to decide not too. I thought about it a couple time but I was just so tired and not wanting to feel bad the next day that I didn't. I still slept badly last night but I woke up without that feeling sick and head spinning and I feel energized today.5
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Friday! Yay! (Cue Rebecca Black...) I've been to the pool at lunch, so I have a nice swim buzz for the rest of the day.
My plan is to be dry tonight and then do some early exercise tomorrow. Trail running would be a blast!
Wishing strong resolve to everyone. Show the sauce who's boss!4 -
@redredy9, I can relate to your feeling grouchy and irritable. In the past, when I've tried to go AF, that was how I pretty much existed through it. This time, I'm not feeling that way. I think it's because this time I am consciously seeing this "experiment" as giving myself something rather than taking something away from myself. It's not so much as I "can't" have my wine but that I choose something even better--all the benefits of abstaining. In my case, I'm vain enough that the noticeable change in my appearance has become a major motivator. I can look in the mirror and see a younger, thinner-looking me, and I don't want to go back to what I look like in my drivers license picture. Anyway, maybe make a list of everything you're gaining and pull that out when you're irritable about what you're losing? Just an idea.
All you guys looking for a good non-Alc. substitute. Good luck. PLEASE let us know if you find one. I realize Annie Grace and others point out that alcohol itself doesn't taste good. Duh. Nobody drinks pure alcohol. However, I suspect that it does add a quality to beer and wine and spirits that just makes them taste uniquely good. I truly love the taste of a fine wine. That's why I've decided to let myself have a few glasses during my March Italy trip. Only good wine, though. And only one glass at a winery or restaurant or wherever. We'll see how that goes.
Speaking of which . . . @norminv, I hear you. I've learned through reading during Jan. and Feb. that alcohol simply sets us up to want more. It's chemistry or physics or whatever you call it. It lifts us up then lets us down further than where we started, so we want another drink to get back to square one. I know that means that many people simply cannot moderate, as you say. Am I one of those people? I'm not sure. Will my Italy experiment lead me back to my nightly over-indulgence? It's like one of those soap opera cliffhangers. One thing for sure . . . I'm addicted to this group!7 -
Alright everyone, the Erik that was around in the January thread is back. My week of celebrating is over. At least I knew going into the week that it was gonna be not the healthiest, but i am beyond ready to get back to my January habits.
All said it wasn’t the absolute worst. I drank three days in the past week - although thats all I drank the month of January ... Even worse was I did not go to the gym once this week, although we did walk about 3 1/2 miles at the parade yesterday.
Starting today and for the rest of February I am back on track. Only eating healthy, going to the gym 3-4 times a week and if I drink at all it will only be on a Saturday night.
And I plan on being involved here again. That was huge motivation for me, and honestly I only looked at the Feb thread twice this week cause I knew the damage being done.8 -
Alcohol is only yum when you are drinking it often and in abundance NOT in moderation. You like alcohol when you drink it daily after work, your body know and expects the pleasure....
Therefore, I must bear the bad news that its all or nothing for us borderline alcoholics. I am as sad about it as you
I don’t find this to be true at all. I went several weeks without drinking and that first beer was just as delicious. Then again, I was never a borderline alcoholic, so maybe I cannot relate.1 -
I was doing well until Wednesday. I had a super stressful day at work and I ended up going out to eat and drink after work. I stuck to just 3 drinks that night (under my limit). Yesterday I drank way too much. Had a few drinks at lunch then stopped by the liquor store for a couple small bottles and had a couple glasses of wine after that. Going back to being dry.3
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@redredy9, I can relate to your feeling grouchy and irritable. In the past, when I've tried to go AF, that was how I pretty much existed through it. This time, I'm not feeling that way. I think it's because this time I am consciously seeing this "experiment" as giving myself something rather than taking something away from myself. It's not so much as I "can't" have my wine but that I choose something even better--all the benefits of abstaining. In my case, I'm vain enough that the noticeable change in my appearance has become a major motivator. I can look in the mirror and see a younger, thinner-looking me, and I don't want to go back to what I look like in my drivers license picture. Anyway, maybe make a list of everything you're gaining and pull that out when you're irritable about what you're losing? Just an idea.
All you guys looking for a good non-Alc. substitute. Good luck. PLEASE let us know if you find one. I realize Annie Grace and others point out that alcohol itself doesn't taste good. Duh. Nobody drinks pure alcohol. However, I suspect that it does add a quality to beer and wine and spirits that just makes them taste uniquely good. I truly love the taste of a fine wine. That's why I've decided to let myself have a few glasses during my March Italy trip. Only good wine, though. And only one glass at a winery or restaurant or wherever. We'll see how that goes.
Speaking of which . . . @norminv, I hear you. I've learned through reading during Jan. and Feb. that alcohol simply sets us up to want more. It's chemistry or physics or whatever you call it. It lifts us up then lets us down further than where we started, so we want another drink to get back to square one. I know that means that many people simply cannot moderate, as you say. Am I one of those people? I'm not sure. Will my Italy experiment lead me back to my nightly over-indulgence? It's like one of those soap opera cliffhangers. One thing for sure . . . I'm addicted to this group!
Good for you! I think this is a point we all need to reach before we can successfully decide to eliminate alcohol from our lives.
@springsweet -Hi twin! Yes, I definitely can relate to many of your posts!2 -
Alright everyone, the Erik that was around in the January thread is back. My week of celebrating is over. At least I knew going into the week that it was gonna be not the healthiest, but i am beyond ready to get back to my January habits.
All said it wasn’t the absolute worst. I drank three days in the past week - although thats all I drank the month of January ... Even worse was I did not go to the gym once this week, although we did walk about 3 1/2 miles at the parade yesterday.
Starting today and for the rest of February I am back on track. Only eating healthy, going to the gym 3-4 times a week and if I drink at all it will only be on a Saturday night.
And I plan on being involved here again. That was huge motivation for me, and honestly I only looked at the Feb thread twice this week cause I knew the damage being done.
Wasn't it your birthday week?0 -
islandbeez wrote: »springsweet wrote: »Many people confuse blacking out with passing out. Oh how I wished I passed out instead of blacked out. All those nights I said hurtful things to people I loved... so much damage and regret.
Anyway, hope this answered your question. I highly recommend that book though. I hated for it to end.
I am with you here. I always wondered why I didn't have the decency to just pass the eff out. Would have been so much better that way
Haha, that came out funny5
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