Misfortune Cookies

YearOfTheDragonLeo · February 2018

Your husband was here yesterday, only not with you.

RoxieDawn · February 2018

Have you ever been told how amazing you are? I didn't think so.

Jonesuna64 · February 2018

For God's sake it is LOSE NOT LOOSE!!

81Katz · February 2018

It doesn't happen to everyone and it is a big deal...in bed.

jenilla1 · February 2018

RoxieDawn · February 2018

Today is not your lucky day, neither is tomorrow or the next. Sucks to be you.

kam26001 · February 2018

You have a brilliant mind and vibrant imagination. But only when you're under the influence of crack.

beagletracks · February 2018

You will shart your white slacks.

beagletracks · February 2018

Your cats will eat your rotting corpse before anyone notices your absence.

mybfisred · February 2018

I noticed

beagletracks · February 2018

You will be mauled by a bear while hiking alone.

beagletracks · February 2018

A lousy guest will eat all the cream puffs at your party.

beagletracks · February 2018

You will be stalked by a cockroach.

kam26001 · February 2018

You will continue to over-promise and under-deliver.

Jonesuna64 · February 2018

There's no "Magic Pill or Cleanse, Eat less and exercise dummy!

RoxieDawn · February 2018

Its a beautiful day so don't ruin it for others

cee134 · February 2018

SabotageinStilettos wrote: »

What if instead of getting a generic, bullshrimp fortune in your cookie, you got the cold, hard truth. If you were writing fortunes, what would they say?

My fortune cookie would be fun for you to get that vague joke about it.

Deadman_Diggingup · February 2018

You were right all along. No one loves you.

Deadman_Diggingup · February 2018

You are VAIN and CONCEITED.

Misfortune Cookies

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