Misfortune Cookies
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Hahahahahaha! Yeah, you're screwed.0
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Duck!
Wait you did it? Seriously you believed a friggin cookie knew something would hit you? Haha! Loser.
Oh sorry, my bad, I guess something WAS coming.0 -
you don't have premium, do you?0
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Your Body, I'd 'Hit It' !
.... with a Buick1 -
You will soon meet a tall dark and okayish stranger. He just wants your money. Don't give it to him, he's not worth it.
Oh wait, it's you, never mind, he's probably the best you're gonna manage.0 -
You probably can't read this anyways.0
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I can smell you0
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Your sister kisses better than you.0
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You should get tested1
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Your husband was here yesterday, only not with you.1
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Have you ever been told how amazing you are? I didn't think so.1
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For God's sake it is LOSE NOT LOOSE!!0
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It doesn't happen to everyone and it is a big deal...in bed.2
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Today is not your lucky day, neither is tomorrow or the next. Sucks to be you.2
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You have a brilliant mind and vibrant imagination. But only when you're under the influence of crack.0
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You will shart your white slacks.0
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Your cats will eat your rotting corpse before anyone notices your absence.1
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I noticed0
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You will be mauled by a bear while hiking alone.0
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A lousy guest will eat all the cream puffs at your party.1
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You will be stalked by a cockroach.1
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You will continue to over-promise and under-deliver.0
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There's no "Magic Pill or Cleanse, Eat less and exercise dummy!0
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Its a beautiful day so don't ruin it for others2
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SabotageinStilettos wrote: »What if instead of getting a generic, bullshrimp fortune in your cookie, you got the cold, hard truth. If you were writing fortunes, what would they say?
My fortune cookie would be fun for you to get that vague joke about it.0 -
You were right all along. No one loves you.0
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You are VAIN and CONCEITED.1
This discussion has been closed.
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