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Misfortune Cookies
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Oooohhhh ...ya...your bad0
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Your intelligence is something to be admired. By an ironing board.1
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All of your hard work will be for absolutely nothing.0
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You will become great if you believe in your imagination.0
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Looking yourself in the mirror is the greatest risk of all.0
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You will never amount to be anything, but your Mom still loves you.0
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You are just fluffy0
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You just ate 3.5 grams of trans fat.0
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Meh, you're just meh!0
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I have some really good advice for you, but let's be honest. You'll still find a way to *kitten* it up1
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You will find that special someone thanks to robot technology.1
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You were voted most likely to succeed. So why are you still living in Mom's basement?1
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Please...like you won't eat that whole large pizza tonight.1
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You have the body to leg ratio of a turkey.0
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Yeah,those pants "shrunk in the wash"0
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Bad luck and misfortune will follow you and your pathetic life till you die.1
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Soon you will have thick, lustrous...nostrils full of hair0
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If your're looking for a happy ending, don't you won't find it EVER.1
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2 of hearts is your lucky card and the number of transplants you'll have before the age of 40.0
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No, it won't grow back.0
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