How to approach girls in the gym???

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Replies

  • sarahjen92
    sarahjen92 Posts: 64 Member
    h1udd wrote: »
    It’s 2018 dude .... just don’t try to pick up girls. Definitely not at the gym, they are there to workout, definitely not at the supermarket, they are trying to shop for groceries, definitely not at the library, they are there to look at books. At a bar ?? ... no, they are there with their girlfriends. Car wash ... err no !!! Getting their car cleaned, coffee shop ?? ... really, interrupt a caramel, skinny latte ?? No. Basically you missed your chance dude .... if you are not married already, it’s game over !!!!

    Okay, this makes me kinda sad actually. I would much rather have a guy (even one I'm not interested in) approach me in real, physical life, than have to rely on online dating. Yes, I do have dating apps. BUT, I would much rather meet a guy in person. Nothing makes me feel more like a loser than saying, "we met on POF or tinder." Not saying that makes you one, cause God knows I can't get a date regardless, but I would rather have a guy say something to my face.
  • avocardiothyme
    avocardiothyme Posts: 52 Member
    edited February 2018
    This thread tho...keep it coming.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    sarahjen92 wrote: »
    h1udd wrote: »
    It’s 2018 dude .... just don’t try to pick up girls. Definitely not at the gym, they are there to workout, definitely not at the supermarket, they are trying to shop for groceries, definitely not at the library, they are there to look at books. At a bar ?? ... no, they are there with their girlfriends. Car wash ... err no !!! Getting their car cleaned, coffee shop ?? ... really, interrupt a caramel, skinny latte ?? No. Basically you missed your chance dude .... if you are not married already, it’s game over !!!!

    Okay, this makes me kinda sad actually. I would much rather have a guy (even one I'm not interested in) approach me in real, physical life, than have to rely on online dating. Yes, I do have dating apps. BUT, I would much rather meet a guy in person. Nothing makes me feel more like a loser than saying, "we met on POF or tinder." Not saying that makes you one, cause God knows I can't get a date regardless, but I would rather have a guy say something to my face.

    I met hubs on pof, no joke :lol:
  • mram3582
    mram3582 Posts: 2,482 Member
    sexual harassment is for young girls. There comes a time in every woman's life when she is like "harass me baby! I don't care what you look like...just let me know I still got it!" She might not give you the time of day, but it will still make her day.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    acorsaut89 wrote: »
    So I'm a single woman . . . and lots of women are here are saying they don't want to be approached at the gym because, well, they're busy and here for a reason buuuuuut can I just say something . . . . and please don't shoot me for this

    We live in a world where women complain men don't show interest, but when they do show interest we're saying it's creepy? Sure, I get the gym isn't like the ideal spot for a guy to show he wants to get to know, but he is saying he wants to get to know you. Provided, he isn't saying this to every girl he comes across, I would take it as a compliment. He might not be the world's greatest guy, he might only be good for one cup of coffee but he's taking a chance. If you're not single, I get it and you have to find a nice way to say, thanks but I'm not single. It takes a lot of guts to show interest in today's dating world . .. but we're saying show interest, just only at these times? Jeeeez

    Great Post

    Mad Re5pext
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  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    Threads like this make me hate being a woman

    Sad but True.

    I know! Can't us beautiful babes work out in peace despite our yummy delishish hotness?
  • HoneyBadger302
    HoneyBadger302 Posts: 2,070 Member
    Honestly, like @sarahjen92 I'd MUCH rather be approached IRL. Meeting someone IRL means we already have some things in common. I've done the online dating thing, and IMO, it sucks, and is a time suck. Bars? I don't have time for that and it's barely a step above online.

    I wouldn't be offended being approached at the gym, but I'd suggest catching her before or right after her workout - not in the middle of it. Break the ice with something casual, maybe a question about the workout she was doing/has been doing (assuming you've paid attention).
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    If you train at Planet Fitness, you could share your tootsie rolls with her or offer to hold her slice of sausage pizza while she does wrist curls in the squat rack.

    Did You say pizza?

    See??

    It works !
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    edited February 2018
    Hate to rain on your parade, but all women are different (if you have not figure that out yet from the reponse here) so there isnt a correct answer to your question. There is an underlying rule of thumb that women generally dont like creeps, so try not to be one. Beyond that you just gotta do it, or not? Whatevs....
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  • _Figgzie_
    _Figgzie_ Posts: 3,506 Member
    I've found that it is better to let it progress...........chances are you see the same people if you work out at same time of day every day........starts with a hello in passing, a compliment on their dedication, questions about their routine and over time can develop into "you have time for coffee" after the workout.......I'm met / dated a lot of women at the gym and I've been complimented on my approach......
  • sarahjen92
    sarahjen92 Posts: 64 Member
    sarahjen92 wrote: »
    h1udd wrote: »
    It’s 2018 dude .... just don’t try to pick up girls. Definitely not at the gym, they are there to workout, definitely not at the supermarket, they are trying to shop for groceries, definitely not at the library, they are there to look at books. At a bar ?? ... no, they are there with their girlfriends. Car wash ... err no !!! Getting their car cleaned, coffee shop ?? ... really, interrupt a caramel, skinny latte ?? No. Basically you missed your chance dude .... if you are not married already, it’s game over !!!!

    Okay, this makes me kinda sad actually. I would much rather have a guy (even one I'm not interested in) approach me in real, physical life, than have to rely on online dating. Yes, I do have dating apps. BUT, I would much rather meet a guy in person. Nothing makes me feel more like a loser than saying, "we met on POF or tinder." Not saying that makes you one, cause God knows I can't get a date regardless, but I would rather have a guy say something to my face.

    I met hubs on pof, no joke :lol:

    Aw that's great!! I have friends who met on pof and other dating sites who got married. I would PREFER not going that way, but in all honesty, I met a couple guys through pof who were awesome. I managed to screw it up, but if you weed out the weirdos, it's definitely a great way to go. I just feel like I'm trying to auction myself off sometimes haha
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    brittyn3 wrote: »
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    Say "Good morning" with a big smile when you see her. Then based on her reaction you should get an idea of how to proceed.
    I used to speak to no one at the gym. No one. Now I have made friends that I will go out with outside of the gym, I know about their families, their jobs, etc. I go to the gym to get *kitten* done and anyone there that knows me would say that I am one of the hardest working people there, but that doesn't mean I don't have time to be friendly. Yes, my time is limited and I work out hard, but I have learned a ton by being open to speaking to other people.
    Here come the woos, but.... Anyone who refuses to talk to someone else in the gym isn't worth your time. They clearly think they are perfect and don't need interaction with the likes of you or anyone else to better themselves.
    For those of you that want to hate me for saying that think about the possibility that someone wants to give you a tip on form or they want to let you know there is a huge hole in your pants or your shoe is untied or that they admire your strength, stamina, weight loss, etc. Not every person who speaks to you at the gym wants in your pants or is a waste of your precious time.

    Responding to the bold - so what if I don't need or want interaction with someone else at the gym - on MY time. I have plenty of work to do before I'm anywhere near "perfect". Your forced interaction isn't going to bring any more quality to my life, let alone my workout. It would be different if I was sitting at a bar, looking around, making eye contact at people. I have to be social at my job all day, constantly being interrupted or solving problems for other people - you better believe when I'm at the gym I'm having the experience I want. ME TIME.

    I don't need or want a tip on form, if my form is *kitten* for a rep, I know it is, I'm aware if there's a hole in my pants, if my shoes untied - I meant it to be. And my time is precious. I will never understand why people get mad if other people don't want to have the same experience they do. Maybe they are having their own experience, and I doubt you'd like it being forced on you as well.

    lol what a ridiculous comment.
    JoRocka wrote: »
    JoRocka wrote: »
    I genuinely feel sorry for single men. There's so many social situations they're expected to navigate and they feel like they're wrong no matter what they do.

    Considering I've been harassed on the street since I was like 14- I don't feel all that bad.

    Yes, this would make a difference, I suppose. I've never been harassed so I can't speak for everyone. I just didn't see what he was wanting to do as harassment, but I guess I could see why others might take it that way.

    You appear to be a grown good looking woman. I have a hard time believing you have NEVER ever been whistled at- cat called or leered at in public.
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    Here come the woos, but.... Anyone who refuses to talk to someone else in the gym isn't worth your time. They clearly think they are perfect and don't need interaction with the likes of you or anyone else to better themselves.
    For those of you that want to hate me for saying that think about the possibility that someone wants to give you a tip on form or they want to let you know there is a huge hole in your pants or your shoe is untied or that they admire your strength, stamina, weight loss, etc. Not every person who speaks to you at the gym wants in your pants or is a waste of your precious time.

    erm- maybe they have social anxiety? maybe they are having a bad day- maybe their dad just died- maybe they are in a hurry and don't have time to chat- maybe they are doing interval training and can't actually talk (had that happen before- someone got super huffy- I was USING A BLOODY TIMER that beeped at 10 and 40 second intervals- it was 12 minutes of work- GO AWAY)

    I am a very social person- I generally don't understand the "I never ever talk to people at the gym" mentality- because I'm just way to effing social for that- but there are days- where no- I don't want to talk to anyone- I don't have time to get wrapped up in a conversation- and there is no guarantee that "hey man what's up" won't turn into a flipping 20 min discussion about why your leg hurts. So sometimes yes- it's safer to not talk. But that doesn't mean people who don't talk to other people think they are perfect- there are a whole HOST of reasons why and it isn't always about some one being aloof.

    There is room in the middle my friend.

    if people dont wanna talk to other people coz they think other people got nothing to offer them that’s f-ed up

    thats what i get from what @lstrat115 said

    dont be so easily offended

    That's not what I got from what he posted. And I'm entitled to my opinion. And you're entitled to your own. I'm not "so easily offended"- I'm merely pointing out other options and why people might not want to be talked to at the gym that have NOTHING to do with elitism. I literally have no dog in this fight- I'm happily married.

    Assuming people don't want to talk to you because YOU think they are thinking they are better than you- is pretty self centered. Life isn't about you- sometimes people don't think they are better than you- sometimes they are just wrapped up in their own ish.

  • newthinkingfish
    newthinkingfish Posts: 28 Member
    ZQGainz wrote: »
    What's the best way haha?

    Just strut up wearing white Oakley's & your finest flat cap & tell them what they're doing wrong. Trust me this is a sure fire approach.. Really.. I'm serious... Bonus points if you do it carrying a gallon jug of water. Now go forth & slay
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  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    ZQGainz wrote: »
    What's the best way haha?

    Just strut up wearing white Oakley's & your finest flat cap & tell them what they're doing wrong. Trust me this is a sure fire approach.. Really.. I'm serious... Bonus points if you do it carrying a gallon jug of water. Now go forth & slay

    Please don't forget the ripped affliction t-shirt
  • newthinkingfish
    newthinkingfish Posts: 28 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    If you train at Planet Fitness, you could share your tootsie rolls with her or offer to hold her slice of sausage pizza while she does wrist curls in the squat rack.

    Did You say pizza?

    Savage
  • BishopWankapin
    BishopWankapin Posts: 276 Member
    People go to the gym to workout, restaurants to eat, work to work, church to pray, stores to shop...none of those to be hit on and picked up. Best keep silent, my boy. Like all good relationships, you'll inevitably just wind up with someone by osmosis.

    giphy.gif
  • newthinkingfish
    newthinkingfish Posts: 28 Member
    SurfyPants wrote: »
    ZQGainz wrote: »
    What's the best way haha?

    Just strut up wearing white Oakley's & your finest flat cap & tell them what they're doing wrong. Trust me this is a sure fire approach.. Really.. I'm serious... Bonus points if you do it carrying a gallon jug of water. Now go forth & slay

    More, go forth and be slayed :D

    Ssssshhhh.. never interrupt someone while they're in the middle of a colossal screwup or you'll loose out telling the story to your friends
  • BishopWankapin
    BishopWankapin Posts: 276 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    TicoCortez wrote: »
    People go to the gym to workout, restaurants to eat, work to work, church to pray, stores to shop...none of those to be hit on and picked up. Best keep silent, my boy. Like all good relationships, you'll inevitably just wind up with someone by osmosis.

    giphy.gif

    It's kinda like men and women don't really like each other much nowadays...


    I can't say that I blame them really. I generally regard both like so:

    giphy.gif
  • _Figgzie_
    _Figgzie_ Posts: 3,506 Member
    TicoCortez wrote: »
    People go to the gym to workout, restaurants to eat, work to work, church to pray, stores to shop...none of those to be hit on and picked up. Best keep silent, my boy. Like all good relationships, you'll inevitably just wind up with someone by osmosis.

    giphy.gif

    totally disagree.............I've met and "dated" (ahem) women from every place you mentioned!
  • kbeard00043
    kbeard00043 Posts: 16 Member
    I wish a good looking guy would approach me at the gym!!!!
  • BishopWankapin
    BishopWankapin Posts: 276 Member
    _Figgzie_ wrote: »
    TicoCortez wrote: »
    People go to the gym to workout, restaurants to eat, work to work, church to pray, stores to shop...none of those to be hit on and picked up. Best keep silent, my boy. Like all good relationships, you'll inevitably just wind up with someone by osmosis.

    giphy.gif

    totally disagree.............I've met and "dated" (ahem) women from every place you mentioned!

    giphy.gif
  • _Figgzie_
    _Figgzie_ Posts: 3,506 Member
    I wish a good looking guy would approach me at the gym!!!!

    it will happen!! you're good looking and look very approachable
  • PWRLFTR1
    PWRLFTR1 Posts: 324 Member
    mram3582 wrote: »
    sexual harassment is for young girls. There comes a time in every woman's life when she is like "harass me baby! I don't care what you look like...just let me know I still got it!" She might not give you the time of day, but it will still make her day.

    ummm....no
  • FormerlyWallyAmadeus
    FormerlyWallyAmadeus Posts: 35 Member
    edited February 2018
    I don't think "approaching" girls at the gym is going to be well received. I'm happily married and I don't always wear my wedding ring when I work out since I'm afraid that I'm going to leave it somewhere in the locker room after showering. So, not only does a direct approach seem a little stalker like, but you might be approaching someone who isn't available.

    What you might do is just be a really, really nice guy. Put your weights back, wipe down the bench after you are done, if you're going to get a cup of water, just say to anyone in the bench area: I'm getting some water, can I get some for anyone?

    If you find a woman attractive, see if you can be working out at the same time she is. Don't stare at her, but I've gotten to know a few of the regulars at my gym who work out when I do, and we always give one another a friendly nod. Then, just be a good guy, and one day, if she's interested, she'll take you up on that water offer!
  • PrincessTinyheart
    PrincessTinyheart Posts: 679 Member
    mram3582 wrote: »
    sexual harassment is for young girls. There comes a time in every woman's life when she is like "harass me baby! I don't care what you look like...just let me know I still got it!" She might not give you the time of day, but it will still make her day.

    Damn straight.
  • ramshackles
    ramshackles Posts: 85 Member
    I think a good smile and a bit of flirty eye contact is always good. Maybe trying to time your leaving at the same time so you can strike up conversation?
This discussion has been closed.