Less alcohol- February 2018- one day at a time
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I had a really down day yesterday. Work has been beyond busy and taking too much of my personal time, and I just had a general feeling of sadness.
I managed well. Went to the gym, no unhealthy food or drink.
Something I noticed last month and is standing out more. On stressful days I dont have urges to go for the bottle too often, so that’s a win. But I really notice that I just want to eat everything in the house or go get some food that is terrible for me. So that is a whole other thing I guess I need to keep working on9 -
Thank you....I think I have realized I cannot do moderation...I cannot say I am borderline anymore...I AM an alcoholic. therefore, I need to go dry again completely and learn to abstain 100%. I will need to learn new skills, new techniques. But in my heart I know I cannot do moderation. these are my confessions
I am right there with you! For the last five years I have consumed more cheap vodka than a small frat. I thought moderation was possible. In 2016 I did dry January successfully. Thought I had things on the right track. Went well for February and March, didn’t drink on any week nights. First week of April was Spring Break, I am a teacher, so I drank for 9 straight days...at least 10 shots a day. Went hard. After that week I slowly let alcohol creep back into my week days. By summer break I was drinking four days a week, during summer I was going 6 out of 7...why? Just a case of the eff-it-why-nots I guess.
I tried dry January 2017, made it a week and said screw it. If I am going to drink a ton after this month anyway let’s get back to business. And went hard all year.
December 2017 I was listening to a podcast and the guy said be careful what you are doing in front of your kids because you are their hero. Well I immediately remember my 9 year old asking me one night when I was drinking if I liked being drunk. What? I told him the truth. But when I heard that podcast it got me thinking I don’t want my son to grow up thinking he should drink 6 nights a week because I did.
So I went into dry January 2018 knowing that I really wanted to slow down my drinking long term but took the dry January goal just in case I was strong enough to stick to it long term. End of January came I was motivated to keep going. Still hanging in there.
I am like you. I know I can’t moderate. It’s much easier to just abstain than it is to cut back. It’s like having a chocolate cake in the kitchen. Some people can eat one piece and forget about the cake. Me I become obsessed and can’t think about anything but getting that cake in my face. When I open up the possibility to drink, I am introducing a vodka-cake into my life...not good.
I am new at this so don’t know if I can offer much good advice. I am highly motivated because of my son so that is maybe not encompassing. The other thing I try to do is stay busy. Go for a ton of walks, read, golf, anything to avoid temptation and create an opening to give into that temptation.
Good luck!17 -
Got frustrated with family last night right before dinner. Stood there contemplating whether or not I wanted a glass of wine and ended up saying 'f it' and had 2 small ones. Blah. One good thing is I didn't care for how it made me feel. It was a kind of 'so now what?' There is a difference, for me, between having a glass with a friend and drinking alone. Something I never truly appreciated before. I think what I want is to not turn to it as a solution to a problem as much as something I like the taste of and enjoy occasionally. This thread is making me more aware of why I drink.
I'm eating clean mostly and trying to lose weight so there's that too.
Re the liver. I have hemochromatosis which means my body retains way too much iron which puts stress on the liver. It went undiagnosed for years. I now get a phlebotomy every 3 months to keep the levels at normal. It has made me aware of my liver and conscious of wanting to do better for it. Limiting alcohols presence in my life certainly helps it.
Happy Valentine's Day to you all.
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@eddie_fields So honest. How wonderful to include your son in those walks or teach him golf. You're teaching him another way to be.3
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I did not drink Monday but went to an orchestra rehearsal. Dinner at Turtle Bay with one of my best friends. She had a glass of red and I had non-alcoholic ginger ale. About half way through the meal I really started craving her red wine and found myself thinking "one glass would not hurt". I resisted and the temptation passed. Husband home for Valentines tonight so will probably have something to drink. Dinner with sister-in-law tomorrow but not drinking. And so it goes. I am sleeping better since cutting down.6
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I woke up early to get some extra work in this morning, but problems with the other computer so decided to check out the discussions here. So, I happened upon this one, so glad I did! This is just the type of support group that I need. I come from a family with an alcoholic history, but never thought it applied to me. I can stop drinking for days, weeks... but then something happens, triggers me to have just one, to help me cope with the day... but it leads to 2, 3, 4...6. So, yes, it is a problem. I was doing fine, 1 or 2, 4-5 nights a week, just something to take the edge off from a long day. But then, for no reason overdid again this past Sunday. With Lent starting today, on Monday I decided to take a break... I know it has only been 2 dry days, but so far so good, and no cravings. I am feeling much better mentally and physically. Sometimes you just feel you are the only one that feels this way. Thank you for starting this discussion! So let's all lift up our glass of water and say cheers to a new wonderful day!10
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The half way mark of the month and I'm feeling grand!6
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I have to admit I have been stalking this thread for the last several weeks. I have been struggling hard with reducing my alcohol intake. Though I have been drinking a lot less, I find that I am constantly fighting with myself about it. I am an extremely social person and I go out a lot with friends who all enjoy drinks frequently. It's not hard at all when I am not out, as I don't drink at home, but going out to a meal with friends is incredibly hard for me because I love craft beer and wine and cocktails (OY). I often go out 4 nights a week (I mean... for dinner. Not bars or clubs or anything like that. But I could easily put back 2-3 drinks x 4 nights). It is really interfering with my weight loss goals and triggering my anxiety. I know it isn't good for me. I'm actually welling up in tears as I write this. I've been embarrassed to say these things out loud or even write them down- I'm 35 and still feel social pressure to drink! And then once I have 1, it's definitely 2 if not 3. What's crazy is that 4 years ago, I used to not drink AT ALL. I don't know how all of this happened. It's expensive and unhealthy, and I wish I could save it for extra special occasions only like trips or weddings or after completing a marathon but it's much harder than I ever imagined.
Anyway, thank you for reading this and I look forward to being on this journey with all of you. I am going to start small. One day at a time I guess?
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I'm very appreciative of the support. Thank you. This morning I listened to the meditation app I found out on the January thread. I listened to it at the gym. It was about self love. So 1) I was at the gym, 2) I did so good completing dry January. So I'm happy with myself.
Trigger for me was work stress. And once I opened the door I wasn't happy. But put an end to it and today is a new day.15 -
Welcome to all the newcomers! You will find unconditional and non-judgmental support here. @eddie_fields thank you for your honesty. It is never too late to set a good example for your son. I wish I had set a better example for my now adult daughters. Now I am a Grandma with another on the way and I am determined to set a good example for them.6
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eddie_fields wrote: »Thank you....I think I have realized I cannot do moderation...I cannot say I am borderline anymore...I AM an alcoholic. therefore, I need to go dry again completely and learn to abstain 100%. I will need to learn new skills, new techniques. But in my heart I know I cannot do moderation. these are my confessions
I am right there with you! For the last five years I have consumed more cheap vodka than a small frat. I thought moderation was possible. In 2016 I did dry January successfully. Thought I had things on the right track. Went well for February and March, didn’t drink on any week nights. First week of April was Spring Break, I am a teacher, so I drank for 9 straight days...at least 10 shots a day. Went hard. After that week I slowly let alcohol creep back into my week days. By summer break I was drinking four days a week, during summer I was going 6 out of 7...why? Just a case of the eff-it-why-nots I guess.
I tried dry January 2017, made it a week and said screw it. If I am going to drink a ton after this month anyway let’s get back to business. And went hard all year.
December 2017 I was listening to a podcast and the guy said be careful what you are doing in front of your kids because you are their hero. Well I immediately remember my 9 year old asking me one night when I was drinking if I liked being drunk. What? I told him the truth. But when I heard that podcast it got me thinking I don’t want my son to grow up thinking he should drink 6 nights a week because I did.
So I went into dry January 2018 knowing that I really wanted to slow down my drinking long term but took the dry January goal just in case I was strong enough to stick to it long term. End of January came I was motivated to keep going. Still hanging in there.
I am like you. I know I can’t moderate. It’s much easier to just abstain than it is to cut back. It’s like having a chocolate cake in the kitchen. Some people can eat one piece and forget about the cake. Me I become obsessed and can’t think about anything but getting that cake in my face. When I open up the possibility to drink, I am introducing a vodka-cake into my life...not good.
I am new at this so don’t know if I can offer much good advice. I am highly motivated because of my son so that is maybe not encompassing. The other thing I try to do is stay busy. Go for a ton of walks, read, golf, anything to avoid temptation and create an opening to give into that temptation.
Good luck!
I think a lot of us on here are all or none type of drinkers. I definitely find it easier to just not drink at all. Welcome to the group!! Everyone here is awesome. Like @JenT304 said there is NO judgement. Which is why I love coming here.6 -
samanthaholze wrote: »I've been embarrassed to say these things out loud or even write them down-
Look how many of us there are on this thread. Obviously, you are far from alone. I went to a Mardi Gras brunch Sunday, and there were at least 100 people there. The only beverages offered were Bloody Marys and mimosas. I asked the host if I could get some water, and he happily gave me a can of La Croix, but I think I was the only one not drinking. It made me wonder how many of the 100 people were just like me, struggling with alcohol. Surely statistics would say that at least some of them were in the same boat. I'm just grateful we all recognize it's an issue and that we have this group.8 -
I am curious. What is everyone's triggers to drink?
Mine is socializing
What are your triggers?3 -
I am curious. What is everyone's triggers to drink?
Mine is socializing
What are your triggers?
HALT (as in halt, stop, don't drink) is a fairly well known acronym for these drinking triggers. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. I can say these things can cause me to want a glass of wine, especially being hungry later in the afternoon.
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@norminv I feel your pain. I have been struggling as well with work stress, which seems to be a huge trigger for me. I think I'm in the all or nothing category since once I start, I just continue. Now I do not binge or get drunk but I will drink a bottle a night if left unchecked.
Thank you all again for sharing. I have to keep up here daily to keep my head on straight. It just seems that if I drink, I feel like a failure to you all and should just keep quiet until I can actually share something positive.
Day 1 AF starts now, again......10 -
I had a really down day yesterday. Work has been beyond busy and taking too much of my personal time, and I just had a general feeling of sadness.
I managed well. Went to the gym, no unhealthy food or drink.
Something I noticed last month and is standing out more. On stressful days I dont have urges to go for the bottle too often, so that’s a win. But I really notice that I just want to eat everything in the house or go get some food that is terrible for me. So that is a whole other thing I guess I need to keep working on
Good work Eric2 -
I am curious. What is everyone's triggers to drink?
Mine is socializing
What are your triggers?
HALT (as in halt, stop, don't drink) is a fairly well known acronym for these drinking triggers. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. I can say these things can cause me to want a glass of wine, especially being hungry later in the afternoon.
That's interesting. Last night I ran then went to the grocery store before going home after work. This is pretty typical. I usually run or exercise, go to the grocery store if needed and then go make dinner. We normally eat pretty late (8:30-9:30). I was in a good mood when I got home, but as I was preparing dinner, I noticed myself starting to get irritated at the fact that I had to cook. I was hungry and I just wanted to be done with dinner and eat my food. I said to my husband " Cooking is a lot more fun when I'm drinking wine". I know I was hungry and I was focused on that hunger. Usually I will have a glass of wine while I cook. Maybe I do it to take my mind off of the hunger, because I do not usually think about being hungry when I am cooking. But I never associated drinking with hunger before.7 -
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My triggers are definitely cooking (but dry Jan really helped revise that habit!) and FOMO - like not wanting to miss out on socializing. But anxiety is also a trigger. I am working on that one and it’s been helpful to find new ways to relax without numbing out.2
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WinoGelato wrote: »2nd night in Dublin not as successful from a moderation perspective. Had a chance to end my night at a decent time after 2 glasses of wine but got pulled into a long conversation that led to another glass of wine, and then one more at the lobby bar after dinner before calling it a night. I’m still counting some small victories - I spread out the consumption over about 5 hours so it was less than a glass per hour, I remembered to drink water with each glass of wine, and when I got back to my room my cheeks weren’t flushed, I didn’t feel drunk, I didn’t have any concerns that I couldn’t remember conversations.
Feeling tired today and had a slight headache but probably as much to do with jet lag and lingering head cold as the drinking.
Tonight is an awards dinner which always leads to constant filling of the wine glass... followed by dj and dancing. Am really hoping to skip that part as I have to give a presentation tomorrow morning and want to be fresh and focused for that then Flying home tomorrow. Ready to get back into my time zone and routine - eating, exercising, and sleeping.
Good for you! I am quite certain that a business trip like this would present a challenge for me. Congrats on the small victories. I can certainly relate. As I mentioned earlier, I feel some sort of disappointment in myself that I have gone over on my target here and there. But at the same time, I am happy with the progress that I have made in being able to space out my drinks, drink water and not over do it. Not drinking enough to be hungover or have any memory lapses has been a pretty big victory for me.2
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