Less alcohol- February 2018- one day at a time
Replies
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missanne11 wrote: »Hi guys. I'm writing first comment and been reading everyone's comments. I'm so happy to find this as I've been struggling. I started Monday. As I'm joined a 12 week challenge at gym. Unfortunately I drank the weekend as I knew I was starting but that's it. I actually went AF on Sunday so this is my 4th day. My problem is my hubby and I have been drinking practically daily for so many years. I just don't feel good anymore. How do you stop when your hubby wants to keep on. Ugh. My problem is not only him. Depression boredom lonely. He works away and I lost my job thru not my fault. Redundancy. I drink alone which I hate also. My goal is now to not drink for 12 weeks. So I'm hoping joining gym will keep me focused. I'm loving it and the social part of it too. Wish me luck and the same to all of you!
Good luck! You have the desire and you're well on your way with day 4. What seems to have worked for us is finding something to replace drinking with. You'll need to establish a new routine and break the ones you have where drinking is a part of. Just take one day, one hour or one minute at a time. Make a list of things you will be able to fall back on when you get a craving. Hot bubble bath, stop at a coffee shop, go for a walk in nature, paint your nails... whatever it is you enjoy doing.
It's very difficult to watch your partner drink when you don't, But nothing is impossible. We are all on our own journey in life- he will probably be motivated by you as well. Listen to your body and your mind. Find some books to read or podcasts like @NormInv listens to.
Some books suggested on the thread include: Drinking: A Love Story, This Naked Mind, Blackout: Remembering the things I drank to forget, Alcohol lied to me: the intellect way to stop drinking, Alcohol Explained and so many more.
I found that by having some of these on my kindle, I would take my mind off the craving by reading and educating myself on the topic. I viewed Dry January and February like taking a college course. Read, write some notes, listen to inspirational videos, stay prepared to combat cravings, etc. Sounds like the 12 week challenge at gym will be perfect to keep you healthy. Cheering for you ! Xoxo5 -
Before I head to bed , just wanted to share a link to a no nonsense motivational video I just watched . This one is about your appearance but his others ones are also good.
https://youtu.be/9RfuWZFn6rE
This is by the author of the book "alcohol lied to me". He said 14 days is an important time period because you have lost the initial craving and then 30 days is another significant time.7 -
So I knitted a sweater coat for my 4 yr old granddaughter, a sweater for her baby sister, and crocheted a hat for her little brother. Was so excited when I shipped the box! They got it and the hat fit my grandson, the sweater fit my baby granddaughter, and the sweater coat fit their mother.
I look at too many patterns and used the wrong yarn. I felt like crap. Ran out and bought the right yarn,that day and started another one. Yesterday, when I was almost 3/4 done, I measured what would be the chest. (I had just gotten to it). It measured 32" and I was knitting a 26" chest. So, I ripped it out. So frustrating! Started over. Anyway, the good news is that I stayed within my drinking limit in spite of undoing 3 weeks of work. 8 -
So I knitted a sweater coat for my 4 yr old granddaughter, a sweater for her baby sister, and crocheted a hat for her little brother. Was so excited when I shipped the box! They got it and the hat fit my grandson, the sweater fit my baby granddaughter, and the sweater coat fit their mother. I look at too many patterns and used the wrong yarn. I felt like crap. Ran out and bought the right yarn,that day and started another one. Yesterday, when I was almost 3/4 done, I measured what would be the chest. (I had just gotten to it). It measured 32" and I was knitting a 26" chest. So, I ripped it out. So frustrating! Started over. Anyway, the good news is that I stayed within my drinking limit in spite of undoing 3 weeks of work.
I am a knit-wit and hooker, too .... and I undo way more than I ever finish. It used to be that I hadn't the patience when younger, and I used to enjoy drinking wine while working with yarn .... but I can't say that now I'm dry that I'm making less mistakes. It is wonderful that you can finish so many projects. I believe in swatches, but in theory only, I'm afraid. With knitting, I have to use life-lines a lot ... these days it's mostly crochet projects though because it does seem easier to back-track - yet I think knitting really is more versatile.
Kudos to you, and I hope you are not too hard on yourself about ripping out your work. It's very zen, I think, lol.
Tonight I tried a non-alcoholic chardonnay that was too expensive (meaning, there are wines I used to drink sometimes at the same price). I think I had a bit of the feeling of a glass of wine, but it didn't make me feel good, really, and I don't think I'd buy it again. I'm just as happy with soda and fruit drink concoctions, kombucha, or tea.
Don't really know what I was expecting ... to like a wine without the warmth and buzz? At least it wasn't too sweet.2 -
So I knitted a sweater coat for my 4 yr old granddaughter, a sweater for her baby sister, and crocheted a hat for her little brother. Was so excited when I shipped the box! They got it and the hat fit my grandson, the sweater fit my baby granddaughter, and the sweater coat fit their mother. I look at too many patterns and used the wrong yarn. I felt like crap. Ran out and bought the right yarn,that day and started another one. Yesterday, when I was almost 3/4 done, I measured what would be the chest. (I had just gotten to it). It measured 32" and I was knitting a 26" chest. So, I ripped it out. So frustrating! Started over. Anyway, the good news is that I stayed within my drinking limit in spite of undoing 3 weeks of work.
I am a knit-wit and hooker, too .... and I undo way more than I ever finish. It used to be that I hadn't the patience when younger, and I used to enjoy drinking wine while working with yarn .... but I can't say that now I'm dry that I'm making less mistakes. It is wonderful that you can finish so many projects. I believe in swatches, but in theory only, I'm afraid. With knitting, I have to use life-lines a lot ... these days it's mostly crochet projects though because it does seem easier to back-track - yet I think knitting really is more versatile.
Kudos to you, and I hope you are not too hard on yourself about ripping out your work. It's very zen, I think, lol.
Tonight I tried a non-alcoholic chardonnay that was too expensive (meaning, there are wines I used to drink sometimes at the same price). I think I had a bit of the feeling of a glass of wine, but it didn't make me feel good, really, and I don't think I'd buy it again. I'm just as happy with soda and fruit drink concoctions, kombucha, or tea.
Don't really know what I was expecting ... to like a wine without the warmth and buzz? At least it wasn't too sweet.
The funny thing is, that I don't knit or crochet once I start drinking. I've learned, lol. I just made a mistake on yarn the first time. The second time I was so upset that I broke her heart that I started without doing a swatch.
I agree that crochet is easier to undo, and faster! But the sweater coat is so freaking adorable she needs it.
Are you on ravelry? Its great!
Thank you for responding to my venting.2 -
@snoo61 ... yes, I'm on ravelry as Pianorose (I think?) I don't post many projects but I download a lot of patterns. I like to watch tv, so not good at doing anything too complicated. It puts a little space between me and some of the violent scenes, without losing the thread (yarn?) of a good drama .... so maybe for me
yarnwork has been one of the more challenging activities in going AF.2 -
Good morning. I had a win win for Valentines Day. Dinner reservations at a lovely bistro. Ordered coffee before and after dinner. Going back home was going to be the challenge because my spouse bought me a bottle of bubblely for V-Day along with an FTD edible fruit arrangement (very much appreciate fruit ). So we get back home and pop in a movie, then next thing I hear is the cork popping too. He poured two glasses and we toasted to V-Day...took one tiny sip. And then about 30 mins went by and I dumped the entire glass down the sink.
VICTORY.
The me from the past would have drank the entire bottle within an hour. So long me from the past.11 -
Awesome @MissMay !!
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@JulieAL1969 Thanks for posting that video of what alcohol does to your body and face. It's excellent incentive to stay dry.1
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »just wanted to share a link to a no nonsense motivational video I just watched
This is by the author of the book "alcohol lied to me".
THANKS for sharing. This is so true!!!
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lporter229 wrote: »My trigger is just plain old habit. Going out to dinner. Drinks. Hanging out with friends. Drinks. Going to a concert. Drinks. Cooking. Drinks. Eating. Drinks. Cleaning...meh, yeah sometimes that involves drinks too. Maybe if I just stuck to working, running and playing with my dog I would be okay.
This describes me perfectly too!! Just any "ol reason I could come up with would work!1 -
springsweet wrote: »How many of you out there are struggling with the not drinking/still want to lose weight issue?
It's driving me nuts. I decided to not obsess over what I was eating because trying to abstain from alcohol was enough and I should put all my energy there. But after a day or two of "not caring" what I eat, I can already feel myself gaining weight. Even though I've cut the drinking way way down. So then, even if I've been sober for a few days, I still feel like *kitten* b/c of how I'm eating. So I either get depressed or I obsess about what I'm eating. It's a vicious cycle and I hate it.
I'm not sure what the correct direction is for me.
I'm a runner, so I not only am trying to cut back on alcohol, but I'm focusing on a new training plan as well. I'm only into the first week of training but I can tell the nightly exercise is definitely beneficial. I'm not sure if I'll loose any weight yet, but I feel like I shouldn't gain this way, even if I eat a bit more to compensation for not having the drinks. Good luck finding your balance.4 -
Last day in Dublin was a great success in moderation - two glasses at dinner, one more afterwards - dancing with colleagues and headed to bed before midnight. Was packed and ready for the final day, presentation went well and am now on the plane to head back to the states. Other colleagues were tired, hung over and some didn’t even make it to the morning session. Glad that wasn’t me! Looking forward to a few AF days in a row at home.6
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Good morning February!5
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@snoo61 ... yes, I'm on ravelry as Pianorose (I think?) I don't post many projects but I download a lot of patterns. I like to watch tv, so not good at doing anything too complicated. It puts a little space between me and some of the violent scenes, without losing the thread (yarn?) of a good drama .... so maybe for me
yarnwork has been one of the more challenging activities in going AF.
I'm Snoo61 on rav. I am finding that if I work on a project while I watch tv, I drink less. I guess because I start later.1 -
Congratulations! A few sentences like this help to keep me positive, knowing that I only feel good when I do not drink.3
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runtodayamyrun wrote: »springsweet wrote: »How many of you out there are struggling with the not drinking/still want to lose weight issue?
It's driving me nuts. I decided to not obsess over what I was eating because trying to abstain from alcohol was enough and I should put all my energy there. But after a day or two of "not caring" what I eat, I can already feel myself gaining weight. Even though I've cut the drinking way way down. So then, even if I've been sober for a few days, I still feel like *kitten* b/c of how I'm eating. So I either get depressed or I obsess about what I'm eating. It's a vicious cycle and I hate it.
I'm not sure what the correct direction is for me.
I'm a runner, so I not only am trying to cut back on alcohol, but I'm focusing on a new training plan as well. I'm only into the first week of training but I can tell the nightly exercise is definitely beneficial. I'm not sure if I'll loose any weight yet, but I feel like I shouldn't gain this way, even if I eat a bit more to compensation for not having the drinks. Good luck finding your balance.
Thanks! You're right, it's all about finding my balance, being kind to myself and being patient with myself!2 -
Sorry if this is a daft question - but can you 'join' this group just by commenting?! I have been logging onto MFP, tracking food and exercise and reading success stories for inspiration, but this thread I love!4
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Valentine's dinner with my husband last night was a success. Our tradition is to cook a nice meal together, which usually involves drinks while cooking, wine with dinner, then at leas tone night cap, and usually ends with me not remembering going to bed. Last night we both brought home a bottle of wine. When we opened the first one I declared that when that was gone, we would not open the second one. It was not a problem because we did not even finish the first one
We had a wonderful dinner together and I remember exactly how it ended. I especially love that, without really even discussing the matter, my husband has taken my cue and is cutting back on drinking too. 12 -
angelayogalv wrote: »Sorry if this is a daft question - but can you 'join' this group just by commenting?! I have been logging onto MFP, tracking food and exercise and reading success stories for inspiration, but this thread I love!
Yes, welcome to the group!4 -
lporter229 wrote: »Valentine's dinner with my husband last night was a success. Our tradition is to cook a nice meal together, which usually involves drinks while cooking, wine with dinner, then at leas tone night cap, and usually ends with me not remembering going to bed. Last night we both brought home a bottle of wine. When we opened the first one I declared that when that was gone, we would not open the second one. It was not a problem because we did not even finish the first one We had a wonderful dinner together and I remember exactly how it ended. I especially love that, without really even discussing the matter, my husband has taken my cue and is cutting back on drinking too.
You did really good!!3 -
angelayogalv wrote: »Sorry if this is a daft question - but can you 'join' this group just by commenting?! I have been logging onto MFP, tracking food and exercise and reading success stories for inspiration, but this thread I love!
Hi, there's really nothing to join, just post when you want to. I love it here because you can vent, get help, give help and support, talk about your ups and downs, and there's no judgement. We're all in the same boat.
I've had 7 good days with no cravings, but I'm always on guard, because they sneak up on you. I'm trying to make sure I'm prepared by having this thread to come to and ask for support.
You'll like it here!9 -
My Valentines was good. Nothing spectacular or romantic. We went to our favorite pizza place and shared a pitcher of beer.
I did ask my husband to make a stop for wine and he said No I didnt need it. I felt good because we went straight home I went to bed and woke up feeling great!
When I woke up I told him "Thank you for not stopping." He then said "I am proud of you because normally if I said No you would just take the car and go get it yourself anyway! So I am proud of you!"
So I am taking baby steps and that's what matters.
Hope everyone had a great Valentines Day!!13 -
My Valentines was good. Nothing spectacular or romantic. We went to our favorite pizza place and shared a pitcher of beer.
I did ask my husband to make a stop for wine and he said No I didnt need it. I felt good because we went straight home I went to bed and woke up feeling great!
When I woke up I told him "Thank you for not stopping." He then said "I am proud of you because normally if I said No you would just take the car and go get it yourself anyway! So I am proud of you!"
So I am taking baby steps and that's what matters.
Hope everyone had a great Valentines Day!!
You did great! And how wonderful that your hubby is pointing out your success!6 -
My Valentines was good. Nothing spectacular or romantic. We went to our favorite pizza place and shared a pitcher of beer.
I did ask my husband to make a stop for wine and he said No I didnt need it. I felt good because we went straight home I went to bed and woke up feeling great!
When I woke up I told him "Thank you for not stopping." He then said "I am proud of you because normally if I said No you would just take the car and go get it yourself anyway! So I am proud of you!"
So I am taking baby steps and that's what matters.
Hope everyone had a great Valentines Day!!
Great for you and how great that your husband is so supportive.
I need to take baby steps too. I feel like it is working because before I could not imagine giving up alcohol for good, but now I can see myself heading in that direction. Whatever works, right?7 -
The month is half over and I just found this thread. I am in - wine is my worst enemy when it comes to losing weight.10
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dressagerider1020 wrote: »angelayogalv wrote: »Sorry if this is a daft question - but can you 'join' this group just by commenting?! I have been logging onto MFP, tracking food and exercise and reading success stories for inspiration, but this thread I love!
Hi, there's really nothing to join, just post when you want to. I love it here because you can vent, get help, give help and support, talk about your ups and downs, and there's no judgement. We're all in the same boat.
I've had 7 good days with no cravings, but I'm always on guard, because they sneak up on you. I'm trying to make sure I'm prepared by having this thread to come to and ask for support.
You'll like it here!
Your sentence " I love it here because..." sums up perfectly what drew me to this group!
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lporter229 wrote: »Valentine's dinner with my husband last night was a success. Our tradition is to cook a nice meal together, which usually involves drinks while cooking, wine with dinner, then at leas tone night cap, and usually ends with me not remembering going to bed. Last night we both brought home a bottle of wine. When we opened the first one I declared that when that was gone, we would not open the second one. It was not a problem because we did not even finish the first one We had a wonderful dinner together and I remember exactly how it ended. I especially love that, without really even discussing the matter, my husband has taken my cue and is cutting back on drinking too.
My husband is trying to pick up the cues too I feel. He's still drinking more then me, but he has taken several nights off as well. Here's hoping we can continue to be positive role models!
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springsweet wrote: »runtodayamyrun wrote: »springsweet wrote: »How many of you out there are struggling with the not drinking/still want to lose weight issue?
It's driving me nuts. I decided to not obsess over what I was eating because trying to abstain from alcohol was enough and I should put all my energy there. But after a day or two of "not caring" what I eat, I can already feel myself gaining weight. Even though I've cut the drinking way way down. So then, even if I've been sober for a few days, I still feel like *kitten* b/c of how I'm eating. So I either get depressed or I obsess about what I'm eating. It's a vicious cycle and I hate it.
I'm not sure what the correct direction is for me.
I'm a runner, so I not only am trying to cut back on alcohol, but I'm focusing on a new training plan as well. I'm only into the first week of training but I can tell the nightly exercise is definitely beneficial. I'm not sure if I'll loose any weight yet, but I feel like I shouldn't gain this way, even if I eat a bit more to compensation for not having the drinks. Good luck finding your balance.
Thanks! You're right, it's all about finding my balance, being kind to myself and being patient with myself!
I know it's hard, we want everything we want and we want it right now. At least that's me, lol I keep reminding myself of the hard work that HAS to be put in.6 -
My husband bowls on Wednesdays, so decided to surprise him at the lanes, cupcakes for the team! I would normally have had a shot or 2 with him... but did not! I didn't even eat any of the cupcakes. Day 4 for me and going strong! I just love how I feel in the mornings, much more energy, and no guilt!9
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