My date with the person above me was going great until...

We showed up in the same dress. Unfortunately he wore it better.

He said my knees were funny looking

All he could talk about was his ex

Her tip was bigger than mine

She jumped up on the bar to sexy dance and her heel broke

She stole my Heart and my Cat!

She said her name wasnt really Marie and that she was from another wotld. She was also wearing a tiny foil hat..so..yeah

She told me I'd have to pay for everything or she'd continue to hold my cat hostage

She kept getting cat hair in our appetizer. Next time I'm getting my own.

He said he had to leave early to catch a Pokemon