WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2018

I'm here; haven't had time to lurk.

We also had a grown child do a real number of elder abuse, mostly along the lines of deciding to put my DH's mother into an A.L.F., and she went downhill very quickly. Part of it was that she could not lift his DD's baby and she decided she did not need someone she had moved out of her own home (she was perfectly able to take care of herself). She had gotten sick with a flu-like illness and after she got well and discharged from hospital, she had made arrangements for her to go directly to the A.L.F. I can't now remember all the hoopla; other than she had her change her Will, then had the title to her car signed over to her, but paying a lot of her own personal bills out of her money. DBnL found the Will and he and DH took her to change it back to the way it was. They had earlier given her a Durable Power of Attorney, which is meant to only make medical decisions (much like a Living Will); but, not as if making life or death decisions. It gave her the right to be in with the MDs and ask questions that might help to make decisions about treatment. So, since she moved near her, and both of them loved each other so much, we trusted her. Then, when we'd go down there to visit MnL, it was like as soon as we walked through the door and signed in, DD was there in 5 minutes flat. Sometimes even with her hair wet and no makeup on. So BnL's former SnL who was babysitting for her (GD), she called one week to tell him they were going on vacation, and if we wanted to have time with her without interference, we needed t come that weekend. But, before we got there, she got wind of it (that we were coming down). All Hell broke loose, and she and DBnL got into a screaming match because we had found out that she had taken them off her checking/savings accounts. She had wiped out her Granddaddy's lockbox, that she had emptied. She was able to do this because she pulled a POA off the Internet and made it out so that MnL had given all powers about everything to her. Her biggest "UT OH" was that she showed that it was "Prepared by" herself. In FL, that is against the law; she and her friend at the A.L.F. parlayed about $100K into about $750K in 2 years investing in slumlord houses and lost their shirts in trying to flip them. Oh, the kicker was that MnL knew she had done something wrong because she got her to sign papers and said she did not have to read them. KARMA is a *kitten*; and I've forgiven her in my heart and I know I won't be around, or if I am, won't care. We had only been invited to their home once since she married her husband, who we liked. For the wake, we went to her house after going to the funeral home and when we got there they had a pool crew digging a pool. I commented about it to DH, and SnL went over and told them to pack it up and they'd reschedule. DD came running out of the house screaming and cursing about them not going to have it finished by summer. I had done a lot of research and presented it to the guys. We could have bailed her; but by that time she had raped the estate and it just wasn't worth going after her.

Dana - I say this, because you have to choose your battles carefully. You can go and get an appointment to talk to an attorney who specializes in estates to talk about your mother's estate and one that specializes in elder abuse. Then you would need to decide which fork in the road to take or to turn back and let it lie. Do you try the probate court route and have them order to put all assets back into the pot and possible get something that reminded you of your mother or do you hire an attorney to try to prove your mother's death was brought about by neglect. Both would pretty be difficult, at best. Sometimes, it causes you too much stress trying to do 'what you think is right'. Personally, I'd try to talk to the Probate Judge and he/she could give you good advice, even if the PJ says you'd need to talk to an attorney about it, they'd still be able to handle some things. If there was no original Will to be found, if she had written any of her children out of the Will, I would think your sister would have to have proven that. Sounds like she was very manipulative. Sometimes you are much better off walking away. The PJ, probably, could order that y'all have the right to empty the house of all contents and tell the reverse/second mortgage your parents took out, that you never signed a contract and they can't get a dime out of turnip. I was blessed with 2 older sisters. The oldest one took it upon her shoulders to take care of Mother, both physically and financially for as long as she could; but, we still had to agree she needed to be in an A.L.F. She provided both of us with a tatement each month showing income and disbursements. We were a famly with 3 children. It worked for us. As for MnL's issue ... DH's DD does not exist, she is a stranger we met along our lives' journey.

Good Luck to you and your decisions. Don't let it rip you apart. Enjoy your childred and grandchildren, and as you said ... your sister is displaying her own insecurity and she'll have to answer for it one day. Other than that ... I have no other suggestions. Sorry!

Leenora

Evening ladies. I am trying a new tactic today. I am not touching anything with my left hand at all today. Well at least the thumb and index finger. I have a sweatshirt on so I am not wearing a bra. Putting on my jeans as difficult but I did it. I did call my doctors office today. I had to get my new script for my Narco and I told them about how painful my fingers are. I wouldn't follow through with it but I just wanted to cut those two fingers off. Since the office didn't call me back with any response, I will put a note in 'Veiw my chart' and that will make sure that the nurse got my concern.

Happy birthday Barbara. I will be 68 on Saturday. Michelle hasn't been able to be with us for about a month and we miss her. She has had problems with her house, leaking roof, and she does a lot of work for her rescue organization. But one of my favorite places to go for my birthday is Red Lobster and I know she loves to go there. So she readily said she would go out with us. She has a guy she works with as a room mate. He is this little short guy, 5"4', that is from Vietnam that is the funniest thing. We just love him. It is only a room mate situation. She is 5"11' so it would be strange if they are dating. But he takes care of the dogs when she is gone, etc. They work the same shift at the same company so it works out a lot. Anyway, this guy will be coming also.

So far my fingers are ok. So goodnight. Joyce, Indiana

Part of these notes are continuation from February.

Heather- I hope all goes smoothly. That house is beautiful. The location seems perfect too.

Katla- Glad you are feeling better. Headaches suck. I get migraines with certain weather changes. Sometimes they only last a day, other times a week.

Rye- could you maybe sand just the edge of the ceramic tiles? I am not a tile person, but that close would make me want to try. I would probably be the one with an emory board trying to make it fit! LOL!

Mary- I hope the vertigo is getting better. Hugs!

Dana- I am sorry that you are going through this with your sister. Sorry about your mom too. Mine was the step mom who wouldn't let my father tell us three kids that he had cancer. When doctors told him he was short time on this earth, he wanted to reach out to us. She told him no. We didn't even know he was sick or that he had died until a family friend saw the obituary in the paper a month later. It is sad when people treat other people like this, even worse when it is family.

Sharon- I don't understand about the short term disability not being grandfathered in, that is just - SMH! I hope you get some assistance to help with time to heal. Hugs!

Kerri- You were the one I was most compelled to answer last night. Six years ago, one of my best friends, had such bad pains that they thought it was gallbladder. The ultra sound showed an excessively fatty liver. I don't remember the details now, but it was bad! Her doctor put her on a strict VEGAN diet. No animal products at all. In just a few days time, the pain subsided. She asked how long she had to eat that way and was told that probably the rest of her life. Now that she has eaten that way for awhile, she occasionally splurges, but is still diligent. Now this is the woman in my life who could make a cow patty taste like filet. She is a wonderful cook and has a great many recipes. When the group of us were together for a girls trip, we only ate like she could eat with the exception of one meal. We missed her chicken adobo, so she made it for us. I seem to recall something about it being hereditary. I hope you get answers soon.

That was all my notes from last night. I have to figure out an easier way to keep track of you all!

Happy Birthday Barbara!

Becca- I love the idea of the beads. Your jar is beautiful too!

Margie- I love your philosophy! I had just read it when I finished dinner. I was sitting there thinking I wanted something sweet, but not a lot. So instead of having 5 or 10 of my favorite chocolates, I had one

Heading to bed. Paperwork before work again in the morning!

keep logging, blogging, and being friendly to yourselves!

Kylia in cold and rainy Ohio

Ps: I may just have to use my phone to scan posts, and computer to comment as I read.

Joyce, when I was an active nudist, I was also not a bra wearer either! I did a lot of walking, and I tried to keep from the waist up quiet. I was still large up top, so I did not want any sideways momentum! Of course one of my school mom friends would ask me most days, " How's flip and flop today"? Kind of rude, but I would answer back, "We are just fine, how's you"!? I was such a strange bird back then!

Becca
Oh so normal now in
Oregon

new to this. my goal for March is to loose 8 lbs.

My sisters latest art projects! Painting on old sheet music! Brilliant huh! She is my eldest sister, not the strange middle sister that has disconnected from us.


So we have confirmed with doctors that surgery will happen on March 14th. He has a pre op phone call next Thursday. Familiar pits in my stomach again. The fact that they will open him up the same as his liver transplant is scary. He has a significant scar down the middle of his chest and veering off to his right, like a J. The doctors will use a epidural into his spine for the administering of pain medicines. We have to be there at 6am, so I guess we'll be resting the day before early, then get up at 2am for the drive in! Hoping the weather will cooperate. Its 14 days away, and my stress levels are high... Maybe my son can hang out with me!
Becca
Oregon