Less Alcohol - March 2018- One day at a Time
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@JulieAL1969 I am sorry someone stole your coat. They may have been drunk and thought it was theirs. Try calling the bar later and see if it has been returned. I certainly would take it back if it were me. It sounds like you did really well on your St. Patrick's Day and evening. We went out to lunch and sat at the bar (not an Irish place so it wasn't busy). I ordered my usual (now) seltzer and cranberry. The bartender said, "with vodka, right?" I've never been there so it was so odd for him to just ASSUME! I just shook my head and said, "no just the seltzer and cranberry, please." Then I added, "I'm driving." He didn't give me any attitude at all (like some bartenders I have read about on here). I am no longer going to be "embarrassed" to just belly up to the bar and order a non alcoholic drink! Alcohol seems to be the only drug we need to make excuses for not indulging in. It's ridiculous! I am so proud of all of you that have learned to moderate. That is truly awesome. I wish that were me but I have done too many "experiments" to know I can't.
Thanks! I imagine that they picked the coat up by mistake; I'll call tomorrow and check.
Great point you make. Just say "I'm driving". That's perfect response to the bartender. How could they frown upon that!
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Hey all! I just got to Chicago today for work and wasn’t planning on drinking and then had two glasses of wine with dinner (by myself) I feel down on myself. I have a hard time not “rewarding” myself on work trips. At least I didn’t order dessert
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4 TQ drinks last night plus 6 Oreos.
Could have been much worse.
Back on track today.
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SanDiegofitmom wrote: »Hey all! I just got to Chicago today for work and wasn’t planning on drinking and then had two glasses of wine with dinner (by myself) I feel down on myself. I have a hard time not “rewarding” myself on work trips. At least I didn’t order dessert
I can so relate... work trips definitely bring out my tendency to drink - whether it’s with colleagues or by myself - there aren’t any home distractions, no kids to deal with homework or put to bed. I always feel like it’s my reward for being away from home. I’ve got one later this week and will be figuring out a plan as well.
Good job on no dessert! Maybe hit the hotel gym in the morning - that always makes me feel so productive on work trips.
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@erikNJ - I don't think you failed. I think you gained self awareness after already coming a long way. You learned something and that's important. Hang in - we're all here for you!
Interesting theme here in lots of posts - we tip toe, or even wade, back into drinking, and I don't believe anyone has said they were very happy about it. The reactions range from yuck (for example, @JulieAL1969's "I didn't like how I felt") to meh (that's me) to okay to that just sucked and wasn't worth it at all. But not too many rave reviews, I don't recall.
I did my now usual few glasses of wine over the weekend (four, to be exact). It was still kinda meh, possibly okay. Last night I had one, 4 oz. glass (I know, bc I measured it myself) and woke up with a headache. Three ibuprofen later it's still there. Can this possibly be because of the wine? I don't get headaches often, so it seems so. It's Monday, so no drinking for me, and am already looking forward to replacing those calories with food! That's been a huge motivator for me.6 -
looneycatblue wrote: »4 TQ drinks last night plus 6 Oreos.
Could have been much worse.
Back on track today.
Kittybenn
you are so right, I don't think any of us that either tiptoed or fell headfirst (me) into the deep end had a great experiment. Lucky for me I was in the safely of my own home with my husband.
I did learn from this, I still don't moderate well, and not sure if I ever will. Lesson learned?
We are going to Las Vegas in 2.5 weeks and I am a bit nervous about that. Thinking it would be best for me to stay AF that weekend.
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I failed miserably yesterday
I planned on being alcohol free all weekend. But I let my really bad week and depression get the best of me and had an “I don’t care today” attitude. Drank entirely too much. Ate really unhealthy food all day ...
Don't feel bad I've been off the wagon for a month celebrating my bday (which is officially tomorrow 20th)! I've had bad drinking during the week AND I never drink during the week. That's how bad it is. I am just trying to finish this month out and get back on track next week.4 -
SanDiegofitmom wrote: »Hey all! I just got to Chicago today for work and wasn’t planning on drinking and then had two glasses of wine with dinner (by myself) I feel down on myself. I have a hard time not “rewarding” myself on work trips. At least I didn’t order dessert
Welcome to Chicago!!1 -
Saw this good quote from Keith Urban. I love the part of that being AF has freed up creativity. When I don't drink, I have tons of energy and get so much done. When I drink, the evening is shot; I am lethargic, get nothing done and just exist. Such a big difference in the quality of life when you are free from numbing substances. xo
"Urban’s life has not been without its struggles, and he touched on his years of alcohol abuse prior to getting sober 12 years ago. The discussion was triggered by Goldman suggesting that Urban’s interaction with his audience is much different now than it used to be, to which Urban responded, “Well yeah — it’s because I’m sober now.” He said he needed to get sober because “I’m just alcoholically wired. I wasn’t at my full potential and I was living a very small life. My life was getting smaller and smaller and that is how I kept it manageable. I was lucky I had a very loving wife. [Getting sober], has freed me up creatively.”"6 -
Have a book recommmendation for the group - I'm not finished with it and it's not specifically about alcohol - but there are a lot of themes that really resonate for me overall that I think I was using alcohol and other things to try to avoid facing up to.
Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living by Shauna Niequest6 -
Wow, it sounds like everyone had a great weekend. So happy to hear it. I am so inspired by all of your will power. And if you slipped up a bit, remember that it is all a part of the process. Do not be too hard on yourself. No good comes of that. Use it as a learning experience and it will definitely help you on down the road.
I am happy to say that I also had a great weekend. I consumed very little alcohol. I had races on both Saturday and Sunday mornings and I did very well in both of them, finishing first in my age group on Saturday and second on Sunday. That would not have been happening if alcohol was involved. I did not drink on Friday night. I did have a celebration drink on Saturday at the post race party. Then we went back to our house where we had some friends over and made corned beef and cabbage and had a fire in the fire pit. The party was starting to get rolling in the early evening, so I called it a night and went to bed and read. So happy for that, as it made getting up on Sunday a whole lot easier. I ended the weekend with two glasses of wine last night. Not bad for what is traditionally a heavy drinking weekend.
@JulieAL1969- I know what you mean about being saddened by the drunkeness of the young people in the bars. I do not enjoy that scene anymore. We were at an Irish Pub on Saturday after our race and there were so many stubble drunk people there that I had to leave. It was only noon, so I can only imagine how much worse it got.4 -
Since I don't want to sound like someone that just posts when things are going great for me, I have come to a real awakening realization. I had thought I could cut back and have AF days and then have a cocktail and be fine. It may be the fact that I went 5 days last week AF and wanted to "reward" myself. My resistance to alcohol has lowered considerably, and awhile back I quoted that "we take a drink, that drink takes a drink and then the drinks take you". Well that so called "reward drink" ended up taking me down very badly last night.
This sick feeling I am experiencing right now is one I wish I could some how click & save to my phone and then play it to myself the next time I THINK I need to reward myself. It would be like a shock collar to make me stop and say NO I don't want to feel like &*%$ in the morning.
Bottem line is I need to go completely alcohol free.12 -
Bit late to the party, but I’m here, if only to offer moral support! I used to drink way too much, way too often, but stopped completely back in October. Just celebrated 5 months dry, and I’m down 42lb. It’s worth stopping or cutting down, the rewards are unfathomable! Best of luck to you all!14
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Still in Chicago - @missmay I totally understand the reward or “I deserve it” mentality. Long work days ended with a nice dinner and some wine. They do small 5 oz pours at the hotel restaurant and I had two. Didn’t want any more than that and realized a few months ago I definitely would have gotten a third glass at the bar and took it to my room. I still wonder if AF is better for me.5
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Bit late to the party, but I’m here, if only to offer moral support! I used to drink way too much, way too often, but stopped completely back in October. Just celebrated 5 months dry, and I’m down 42lb. It’s worth stopping or cutting down, the rewards are unfathomable! Best of luck to you all!
Wow! Thanks for your encouragement. I am now more motivated than ever because of you and all the other posters!2 -
Since I don't want to sound like someone that just posts when things are going great for me, I have come to a real awakening realization. I had thought I could cut back and have AF days and then have a cocktail and be fine. It may be the fact that I went 5 days last week AF and wanted to "reward" myself. My resistance to alcohol has lowered considerably, and awhile back I quoted that "we take a drink, that drink takes a drink and then the drinks take you". Well that so called "reward drink" ended up taking me down very badly last night.
This sick feeling I am experiencing right now is one I wish I could some how click & save to my phone and then play it to myself the next time I THINK I need to reward myself. It would be like a shock collar to make me stop and say NO I don't want to feel like &*%$ in the morning.
Bottem line is I need to go completely alcohol free.
Thanks for your honesty. I have been there! The sick feeling is like no other and one of the biggest deterrents. So sorry the drink took you. But I am positive this will get you back on track, better than ever. And more aware than ever what works for YOU. I'm sending you a big hug. Tomorrow, you will feel so much better. Sometimes I drink chicken stock for the vitamins and salt to help a little bit. xo2 -
I'm in {again}. The first half of the month was an epic failure for me, so I'm seeing how I can do one week at a time. I started yesterday. No wine!5
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@MissMay "reward" Yes, I think that is where we fool ourselves. Don't beat yourself up over this. Can you think of it as a learning experience and accept it for that? We're all learning our limitations. It's a journey. Hope your day gets better.
Agreed. I think many of us have been there too.1 -
The “reward” mentality is the core of it. “I’ve had a hard day/good day/achieved something/failed something, I deserve a drink!” To not have a drink feels like deprivation or punishment.
After a session, I suggest you write down how you’re feeling, emotionally and physically. Write everything, don’t hold back. Waffle on for however long you want. Then fold that up and put it somewhere safe. Memory alone is deceptive, you know you felt bad/awful etc, but it rewrites things continuously to fit the current mood/circumstance. When you’re tempted, you get that paper out and you read it. And if you succeed in turning down that drink, or only having the one, you reward yourself with something else you love. You have some chocolate (that you saved some calories for by not drinking) or you do something you really enjoy. And you feel the pride of accomplishment. One day at a time. It’ll be a week, then two, then a month, and the longer you go the easier it is. It doesn’t sit there in the back of your mind for long. I have a full, sealed bottle of Bailey’s on my kitchen counter (which I received for Christmas). It’s my trophy. As long as it remains there, unopened and untouched, I win. You are stronger than you think, you can do it. And once you’ve gotten over that first hump, it’s an easy ride. I sleep so much better, I have energy, I am much better equipped to cope with stress, I’m chattier and friendlier, and I’m proud of myself!
You can do it!7 -
lporter229 wrote: »@MissMay "reward" Yes, I think that is where we fool ourselves. Don't beat yourself up over this. Can you think of it as a learning experience and accept it for that? We're all learning our limitations. It's a journey. Hope your day gets better.
Agreed. I think many of us have been there too.
I feel like Sunday nights are my hardest to not "reward" myself after a great week.3 -
runtodayamyrun wrote: »lporter229 wrote: »@MissMay "reward" Yes, I think that is where we fool ourselves. Don't beat yourself up over this. Can you think of it as a learning experience and accept it for that? We're all learning our limitations. It's a journey. Hope your day gets better.
Agreed. I think many of us have been there too.
I feel like Sunday nights are my hardest to not "reward" myself after a great week.
Same here. Mondays are my rest day from running, so that adds to the mix as well, especially when I don't drink on Friday and Saturday. I just need to break the mindset that alcohol=relaxation.2 -
I can totally relate to @MissMay and what she's feeling today. I am also struggling with having way too much to drink last night. Had a family get together and I started drinking before dinner to "loosen up" then continued on drinking during and after dinner. I know I was slurring my words last night...I kept trying to get it under control and not "sound" drunk..but I think I failed. I'm embarrassed right now. I went to bed feeling physically ill and woke up with a hang over. Ugh. So ashamed of myself right now.
I'm trying to allow myself very limited amounts of alcohol and most days do ok...but I need to get myself under control when I do drink7 -
runtodayamyrun wrote: »lporter229 wrote: »@MissMay "reward" Yes, I think that is where we fool ourselves. Don't beat yourself up over this. Can you think of it as a learning experience and accept it for that? We're all learning our limitations. It's a journey. Hope your day gets better.
Agreed. I think many of us have been there too.
I feel like Sunday nights are my hardest to not "reward" myself after a great week.
Same here - my challenge with the last couple of Sundays is that because I've been diligent through the week, abstaining from alcohol, trying not to substitute sweets or other foods - I end up with a decent size calorie surplus at the end of the week. This particular Sunday my thought was - "wow, I have 1500 calories to spare, what should I use that on if I'm not very hungry?" and of course the first thought was WINE! and then the second thought was, "really Karen? Wine? Isn't that kind of what we are trying to cut back on, do you really want wine or are you looking for an excuse to drink it?" and I realized that it was a fleeting thought but not really what I wanted (thanks mindfulness!). So... my Sunday ended up being an awesome mix of donuts for breakfast, a big pasta dinner with garlic bread, a cookie sundae for dessert AND some popcorn and M&Ms before bed. After the initial "WINE!" moment, I never thought about it again, and still ended up with calories to spare which has been so nice each week - even in maintenance I like finishing with a little leftover to keep me at the bottom of my range - which I have been steadily within the 2 lb bottom part of my range instead of the 2 or more upper part of my range since I started cutting back in January.
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Not sure if this is how to join...but I'll give it a go.
I enjoy wine. White wine. I'm working on avoiding any alcohol during the week. It's tough because some days I just want a glass.3 -
lisamoravec wrote: »Not sure if this is how to join...but I'll give it a go.
I enjoy wine. White wine. I'm working on avoiding any alcohol during the week. It's tough because some days I just want a glass.
Welcome!2 -
Can I rejoin?
I am going on a girls-weekend beach trip on April 20th - 1 month from today! I really want to lose weight and the only way that seems to work for me is if I cut out alcohol.
So... it's my goal to be 100% alcohol-free for the next 30 days.
I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO HARD THINGS!!!!7 -
And I'm sorry I lost track of this place... I was just doing what came easy.
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Went to my fav bar for a quick bite after work. Had a club soda and some wings. Told the bartender I quit drinking on Jan. 1st and she said she quit last Lent and lost 42 pounds.
Now, I need to get serious and not compensate for the calories saved with other treats. I would love to say by Jan. 1st next year that I lost forty pounds:)
@springsweet We are here for you! Xo
@lisamoravec Welcome! Let us know if you need any advice and keep us updated how you're doing.
@WinoGelato Happy for you! You enjoyed your Sunday without the alcohol and woke up ready for a great week! Xo You're really on to something- being mindful. Not giving in to impulses and thinking things through.4 -
Carolyn12457 wrote: »I can totally relate to @MissMay and what she's feeling today. I am also struggling with having way too much to drink last night. Had a family get together and I started drinking before dinner to "loosen up" then continued on drinking during and after dinner. I know I was slurring my words last night...I kept trying to get it under control and not "sound" drunk..but I think I failed. I'm embarrassed right now. I went to bed feeling physically ill and woke up with a hang over. Ugh. So ashamed of myself right now.
I'm trying to allow myself very limited amounts of alcohol and most days do ok...but I need to get myself under control when I do drink
Many of us have been there. Forgive yourself and move on. It's a new day. We've all done things like that that we regret. And family loves you nonetheless. No one is perfect. You'll get it back on track to moderation. Xo3
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