Less Alcohol - March 2018- One day at a Time
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I hope my last comment didn’t bother anyone. Just an observation.
March has been very difficult for me just like others on here. But maybe if we are struggling, that is when we need each other more?
As for the people who have stayed regular since i have been on here, I recognize all of your participation and am grateful for it10 -
springsweet wrote: »SanDiegofitmom wrote: »springsweet wrote: »Is it weird to say I felt more in control of my weight NOT AF then AF !?! I didn't know this at the time, but before Lent I kept thinking wow " I'm going to lose so much weight not drinking these empty calories week after week ... Um nope !!! I'm still doing my same song and dance of losing through the week what I went up over the weekend
I've developed these crazy strong cravings now 
Especially in the SWEET category 
ugh !!!! It's disappointing; I mean there is SO MUCH GOOD from being AF ... But surprisingly some areas not so amazing; that I thought might change. 
I was AF for 7 months in 2011 and didn't lose a freakin pound.
Yeah in Jan when I was totally AF I expected to lose a lot and I did lose some weight but not as much as I expected. I always wonder if somehow wine calories are metabolized differently? I also think I eat more when I’m not drinking. I do not tend to be a snacker when I drink wine, but when I don’t it seems like I’m hungry in the evening.
I definitely eat more when I'm AF.
But when I went AF for 2 weeks in January, I lost like 5 lbs. So... I dunno.
When I drink a glass or two before dinner, I put off dinner and nibble. After I eat dinner, I am fine. I don't want any more wine or food.
I have noticed on my AF days, I'm starved when I get home. I need to eat dinner and quickly.
So for me, I'm eating more on my wine days than on my AF days. And drink is what I'm replacing food with.
This is me too. It's like I am looking to replace something that is missing, which probably should give me some insight into why I usually reach for alcohol in the first place. So much to learn through this process.
As for the participation in this thread, yeah, it's not surprising that it has quieted a bit. It's like the gym in March vs. January when everyone is excited and motivated to make a fresh start. I am still here and still trying my best to keep my alcohol consumption to a minimum. I am doing okay, but not good enough. Some day I feel like I am doing great and other days I just feel a little bit apathetic toward the whole thing. Not sure why I feel this way though. I think I am going to start reading some of the books that have been recommended by so many of you guys. I need to make myself a list of the reasons why I want to reduce my alcohol consumption. I think the number one reason for me is because I am concerned about the long term impact on my health. Beyond that though, sometimes I am not really sure why I care. Does anyone else find themselves feeling this way?
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I was really bad in February and start of March. I was struggling with back pain and stress. March 18th I decided to give up booze for a while. So far I have not had a drink. Since then my back pain has been less and I am dealing with stress better. I am sleeping better and have dropped 5lbs. I would like to keep this up until May 19th and then hopefully drink moderately.5
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I hope my last comment didn’t bother anyone. Just an observation.
March has been very difficult for me just like others on here. But maybe if we are struggling, that is when we need each other more?
As for the people who have stayed regular since i have been on here, I recognize all of your participation and am grateful for it
I didn't have a problem with your comment. It was completely true. I agree that we need each other more through the struggles. I have a tendency to hide my alcohol struggles...shame? Maybe we all fight this, I don't know. Its just always been something to hide. I'm trying to break the cycle with you guys.
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lporter229 wrote: »springsweet wrote: »SanDiegofitmom wrote: »springsweet wrote: »Is it weird to say I felt more in control of my weight NOT AF then AF !?! I didn't know this at the time, but before Lent I kept thinking wow " I'm going to lose so much weight not drinking these empty calories week after week ... Um nope !!! I'm still doing my same song and dance of losing through the week what I went up over the weekend I've developed these crazy strong cravings now Especially in the SWEET category ugh !!!! It's disappointing; I mean there is SO MUCH GOOD from being AF ... But surprisingly some areas not so amazing; that I thought might change.
I was AF for 7 months in 2011 and didn't lose a freakin pound.
Yeah in Jan when I was totally AF I expected to lose a lot and I did lose some weight but not as much as I expected. I always wonder if somehow wine calories are metabolized differently? I also think I eat more when I’m not drinking. I do not tend to be a snacker when I drink wine, but when I don’t it seems like I’m hungry in the evening.
I definitely eat more when I'm AF.
But when I went AF for 2 weeks in January, I lost like 5 lbs. So... I dunno.
When I drink a glass or two before dinner, I put off dinner and nibble. After I eat dinner, I am fine. I don't want any more wine or food.
I have noticed on my AF days, I'm starved when I get home. I need to eat dinner and quickly.
So for me, I'm eating more on my wine days than on my AF days. And drink is what I'm replacing food with.
This is me too. It's like I am looking to replace something that is missing, which probably should give me some insight into why I usually reach for alcohol in the first place. So much to learn through this process.
As for the participation in this thread, yeah, it's not surprising that it has quieted a bit. It's like the gym in March vs. January when everyone is excited and motivated to make a fresh start. I am still here and still trying my best to keep my alcohol consumption to a minimum. I am doing okay, but not good enough. Some day I feel like I am doing great and other days I just feel a little bit apathetic toward the whole thing. Not sure why I feel this way though. I think I am going to start reading some of the books that have been recommended by so many of you guys. I need to make myself a list of the reasons why I want to reduce my alcohol consumption. I think the number one reason for me is because I am concerned about the long term impact on my health. Beyond that though, sometimes I am not really sure why I care. Does anyone else find themselves feeling this way?
I am not sure if this came across right or not. What I am trying to say is that whenever I feel like having a drink, I have a hard time reminding myself of why I shouldn't.6 -
trishfit2014 wrote: »I was really bad in February and start of March. I was struggling with back pain and stress. March 18th I decided to give up booze for a while. So far I have not had a drink. Since then my back pain has been less and I am dealing with stress better. I am sleeping better and have dropped 5lbs. I would like to keep this up until May 19th and then hopefully drink moderately.
This is my story for a few years at least. You can do it! 1 minute, 6 minutes, one day etc. at a time.2 -
@springsweet: wrote: I definitely eat more when I'm AF.
When I would wake up from having one or two to many and eventually make it out to the kitchen. I would accuse my husband of such things as finishing off the ice cream or leaving the spoon on the counter with peanut butter smeared all over the place. Cool whip containers with the lids partially off......etc.
Thing was I did NOT recall raiding the cupboards or refrigerator after having to much booze. So I think I was indulging, food snack bindging and not remembering. Until of course to prove it he showed me a pic he took of me pigging out. Not a pretty site.
Awww! 2 -
islandbeez wrote: »Annie Grace shared this on her AE Facebook page. I thought it was a good read for sure. https://www.babble.com/parenting/mommy-drinking-culture-wine-motherhood/
Sadly I can relate to this. I did not start as early but a glass when I got home started becoming more and more.2 -
@JulieAL1969 Thank you for posting that very inspirational video! It brought tears to my eyes.
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Hi everyone,
Although I don't post very often, I want you to know that I am one of those people who continues to follow this thread religiously, and who continues to get so much from everyone's input. To those that are struggling between whether or not to remain AF or to drink once in awhile/ in moderation, I have been continuing to wrestle with this, as well, and I go back and forth. So far, since January 1st, I have just had the one beer on March 15, and I am feeling good without alcohol- but to think that I can or will never drink again still feels so daunting, and upsetting, at times.
Because I have read so many of the resources suggested here, and watched so many of the videos you all have sent to this link, I have to say that I am leaning more and more to staying AF. It still feels like such a difficult and big decision, though.
Something interesting that has happened along this journey, is the way the past few months have been impacting my hubby. He is not a huge drinker, and definitely has a better "stop" mechanism than I had. He has continued to drink moderately since January also, while I have not. But he has been watching and noticing the differences, I guess - seeing how I went from drinking several bottles of wine a week, to nothing - and also reading some of the books that have been lying around. For example, I got "The Illustrated, Easy Way to Stop Drinking" from the library over the weekend, and just kind of put it aside after I finished it. (PS one of the things that really stuck out from that book for me was the illusion that drinking relaxes you, and the author's contention that mental alertness is true relaxation. I could really identify with this now, after so many days AF). Anyways, my hubby picked it up and I think a lot of it really resonated with him, too. Last night he said to me that he is really understanding now that alcohol is a poison and conflicts with our values of being healthy (we both run, cycle, hike, lift weights, eat healthy-ish
). He had picked up some beer from the duty free shop on our way home from vacation a few weeks ago, but last night he said that when he is finished that, he thinks he is going to go completely AF too. He said that he feels very glad that I made this big change in my life, and that it has really got him thinking, as well.
Even though I know we are each on our own journey, and my intention has never been to influence his choices around this at all, I have to say that it really excited me to hear him say this - I feel excited about the AF adventures that might await us together.
I also turned 45 this past weekend, and it was the first birthday in I don't know how long that I did not have a celebratory drink (+++++)....so looking forward to what the future may hold!
Sorry for the long winded post, but I just wanted to share, and really to say thank you to everyone who is a part of this thread. Know that you all have an impact, and that this impact trickles down further than you may know!
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@wigi41 Thank you so much for posting that, it brought tears to my eyes. It's amazing how your change in behavior is impacting your husband, and without words, it seems. I guess that is what has been happening here, like @JulieAL1969 had said, we don't know who is being inspired or encouraged by sharing our experiences. I am so happy to be here 6
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Hi everyone,
Although I don't post very often, I want you to know that I am one of those people who continues to follow this thread religiously, and who continues to get so much from everyone's input. To those that are struggling between whether or not to remain AF or to drink once in awhile/ in moderation, I have been continuing to wrestle with this, as well, and I go back and forth. So far, since January 1st, I have just had the one beer on March 15, and I am feeling good without alcohol- but to think that I can or will never drink again still feels so daunting, and upsetting, at times.
Because I have read so many of the resources suggested here, and watched so many of the videos you all have sent to this link, I have to say that I am leaning more and more to staying AF. It still feels like such a difficult and big decision, though.
Something interesting that has happened along this journey, is the way the past few months have been impacting my hubby. He is not a huge drinker, and definitely has a better "stop" mechanism than I had. He has continued to drink moderately since January also, while I have not. But he has been watching and noticing the differences, I guess - seeing how I went from drinking several bottles of wine a week, to nothing - and also reading some of the books that have been lying around. For example, I got "The Illustrated, Easy Way to Stop Drinking" from the library over the weekend, and just kind of put it aside after I finished it. (PS one of the things that really stuck out from that book for me was the illusion that drinking relaxes you, and the author's contention that mental alertness is true relaxation. I could really identify with this now, after so many days AF). Anyways, my hubby picked it up and I think a lot of it really resonated with him, too. Last night he said to me that he is really understanding now that alcohol is a poison and conflicts with our values of being healthy (we both run, cycle, hike, lift weights, eat healthy-ish). He had picked up some beer from the duty free shop on our way home from vacation a few weeks ago, but last night he said that when he is finished that, he thinks he is going to go completely AF too. He said that he feels very glad that I made this big change in my life, and that it has really got him thinking, as well.
Even though I know we are each on our own journey, and my intention has never been to influence his choices around this at all, I have to say that it really excited me to hear him say this - I feel excited about the AF adventures that might await us together.
I also turned 45 this past weekend, and it was the first birthday in I don't know how long that I did not have a celebratory drink (+++++)....so looking forward to what the future may hold!
Sorry for the long winded post, but I just wanted to share, and really to say thank you to everyone who is a part of this thread. Know that you all have an impact, and that this impact trickles down further than you may know!
Thank you so much for sharing. That was a beautiful, reaffirming message. xoxo Happy Birthday!
I'm like you in the fact that I have been AF since Jan. 1st except for a few St. Pat's weekend. And I also find it difficult to think I will never drink again, because that seems for final. Never is a long time.
So, maybe if we just say just for today I won't drink. Or just for the month...
Little steps, and then if once in awhile , we have a glass or two, that makes it even more special.
Nice that you have a supportive husband and that on his own and with your positive energy, he is also drinking less.
Once again, thank you for your input. We love hearing from you.5 -
I’m facing the struggle I knew I would after Italy. Back to pretty much daily wine although not especially large amounts. I’m finding The Sober School website and blog very useful. She (Kate) has a 6-week class she runs and I’m thinking of doing that beginning April 9. One of her main assertions is that being AF is much easier than moderating. I know that’s true for me. Right now I just don’t feel I have the energy to go there I had in January.
I’m glad this is a place to talk alll this out with my friends.8 -
"Dry" Blueberry Sangria
I strung frozen blueberries on the drink skewer. Because now it's all about pretty. Lol11 -
I’m facing the struggle I knew I would after Italy. Back to pretty much daily wine although not especially large amounts. I’m finding The Sober School website and blog very useful. She (Kate) has a 6-week class she runs and I’m thinking of doing that beginning April 9. One of her main assertions is that being AF is much easier than moderating. I know that’s true for me. Right now I just don’t feel I have the energy to go there I had in January.
I’m glad this is a place to talk alll this out with my friends.
That must be so normal; your subconscious is very powerful.
I think maybe keeping a little journal would be helpful. Write down your thoughts now vs. January. Make a list of pros and cons. Just tuck it away, and read it when you are reflecting about January.
It is a lot of energy to go back to January's efforts. Just like controlling our calories to lose weight, it is a project to moderate/reduce. Remember how much we were reading and talking about our goals. I think I likened it to a college class; it was a lot of effort for sure.
I'm happy you're back from Italy and you had a fabulous time.
I like The Sober School website, too. I'll check out the 6 week class. If you join it, we will learn along with you.
Xoxo2 -
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ending-addiction-good/201404/can-alcoholics-ever-drink-moderately
This is for those of us who truly have issues, not for the moderate occasional drinker. I know I have issues with alcohol.
I love this website in general for many other pieces of advice.
Here's an excerpt: Can you just moderate?
The answer comes down to what kind of drinker you are – why do you drink, how much do you drink, and how long have you been in this pattern? That’s because the longer you have been in an aggressive drinking pattern, the more your consumption changes the physical characteristics of your brain.4 -
I’m facing the struggle I knew I would after Italy. Back to pretty much daily wine although not especially large amounts. I’m finding The Sober School website and blog very useful. She (Kate) has a 6-week class she runs and I’m thinking of doing that beginning April 9. One of her main assertions is that being AF is much easier than moderating. I know that’s true for me. Right now I just don’t feel I have the energy to go there I had in January.
I’m glad this is a place to talk alll this out with my friends.
I completely understand that struggle. And am concerned because I have vacation in two and a half weeks. Coming back from vacation is always hard for me to get back on track with diet and excercise5 -
Today I read the latest Sober School blog entry, "How I knew when it was time to quit." I always read the comments after too. As usual, so much of this resonates with me. These resources (especially THIS thread) really help me and others in our little "community" here. None of us are alone in this journey. So many others (many silently following) are in the same boat.5
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Oh my god. Why didn't you guys tell me this 27 days ago?! I've been drunk through most of it.4
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In the comment section someone said this, “Everyone must choose one of two pains:
The pain of discipline
or the pain of regret.” My new motto.
I like this. I am hoping the pain of discipline won't be painful for TOO long.
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I’m facing the struggle I knew I would after Italy. Back to pretty much daily wine although not especially large amounts. I’m finding The Sober School website and blog very useful. She (Kate) has a 6-week class she runs and I’m thinking of doing that beginning April 9. One of her main assertions is that being AF is much easier than moderating. I know that’s true for me. Right now I just don’t feel I have the energy to go there I had in January.
I’m glad this is a place to talk alll this out with my friends.
totally understandable....i am going to the Bahamas and this may happen to me too. but we have learned valuable lessons and we can get back in the game slowly but surely......no i didnt call you shirley7 -
I'm doing great with the not drinking...not so great with logging food on MFP. I logged today despite having loads of sugar ugh. I have been alcohol free since mid January. This weekend we ate at a fine restaurant and my husband got the wine pairing with his meal. When it came to my favorite (Chardonnay!) with the main entree I decided to have a tiny sip to see if I felt like I was missing something. Unbelievable but that fine wine did not taste good to me!!!! (And I was having a beautiful fish that it should have tasted great with. Conclusion...I'm not missing anything. Now I need to get this sugar thing under control. I hardly ever ate dessert when there was wine to be had.. hmmmmm.
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Good night everyone! I just downloaded and read the sample on Kindle called Alcohol Lied to me By Craig Beck.
Here's a shot of one of his pages....
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Today I’m on day 4 sober. I’m also on my period. I also work in a bar. I feel so irritable lol. I’m basically dealing with this right now by telling myself it’s just a lot of bad feelings, it’ll pass. I also remember how bad it was 4 days ago, and I am well aware that I have been trying to recover from that night this whole time. I’m tired of it. Really tired of it. So I’m going to bed. Tomorrow I go and talk to a doctor about withdrawal meds and programs available at a place called CAMH here in Toronto, Canada. The organization deals with addiction, it’s not a hospital.12
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Trinkwasser wrote: »Today I’m on day 4 sober. I’m also on my period. I also work in a bar. I feel so irritable lol. I’m basically dealing with this right now by telling myself it’s just a lot of bad feelings, it’ll pass. I also remember how bad it was 4 days ago, and I am well aware that I have been trying to recover from that night this whole time. I’m tired of it. Really tired of it. So I’m going to bed. Tomorrow I go and talk to a doctor about withdrawal meds and programs available at a place called CAMH here in Toronto, Canada. The organization deals with addiction, it’s not a hospital.
Congrats on day 4! That's a big deal! You're on the right track and I can see you're very determined ! Cheering for you ! Xo4 -
Lots of extra positive vibes in here this morning. To the new people welcome and gather strength through others experiences in this group. Feelings you thought only you were dealing with have been our struggles as well.
Pre-regretting vacations, holidays, birthdays, anniversary's, Christmas parties, picnics, tail gating, etc...etc... Why do we all fear what is days, weeks or months down the road? As I read above, I too am having a month in advance wishy washy feelings of what will happen when I go away for my Anniversary. UGH. So much time spent trying to do the right thing only to worry about what has not arrived yet. I feel strong enough to keep on the right path.
I wish all of you that are questioning or dreading upcoming events easy times once they arrive.
Ordered my first ever Arnold Palmer when we went out last night. Not bad, I will keep an ongoing "dry" list in my phone for future social excursions.
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@MissMay You hit the nail on the head! Pre-regretting. That is the perfect description. I am already worried about 2 weddings we are attending and they are not until September and October! What a waste of time and emotion. I will continue to try to focus on TODAY only. Like they say in Rent, "no day but today."7
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Good morning all! It's weird there are so many posts here that are before mine that weren't there last night. Anyway, like @donimfp mentioned, I totally have found that it is much easier to be alcohol free than to moderate. It turns off almost all of the "drinking thinking". It just take less mental energy, and so far I am finding that it is getting easier as it goes along. (AF for the first time after being a daily drinker for many years). I also (thanks to resources like This Naked Mind, Quit the Drink Easily, and Alcohol Lied to Me) have completely shifted my thinking about alcohol which is the key difference to me this time around. I don't talk about it much (because I know that other people want to drink moderately here and that is fine with me absolutely no judgement!...my husband still drinks too and it doesn't bother me). However for myself, I do see how alcohol was basically just another bad addictive drug (poison) habit, much like smoking. I would never dream of smoking a cigarette! I would never say, "well, I'll just have one cigarette tonight, maybe two". The other thing that I realize is how we are manipulated to drink, especially women. Look at all the signs, posters and cute t-shirts that you can buy making jokes about how "okay" it is for women to drink more, especially wine. It's like everyone is trying to convince themselves that since everyone else is doing it it must be something fun and sophisticated, etc. It reminds me of that story about the Emperor Has No Clothes.
I am not very far into this AF life journey (into my 3rd AF month) so I know I am going to hit some struggles. (upcoming vacations with open bars, etc) but I just wanted to share my experience so far. Changing my thoughts about alcohol through reading and listening to some great resources has been the key for me. I did go into this thinking I just wanted to moderate my drinking. The whole becoming AF is a complete surprise to me, but I can't believe how happy it has made me!!11
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