Less Alcohol - March 2018- One day at a Time
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I, too, worry about what's ahead- we are going to England at the end of July, and that is what I am most focused on re: drinking/ not drinking! Plus a few family get together a in April.... I will try and take things one day at a time, too.7
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@kerry0521 > Yes! Agree 100% with your post. We have discussed this on here before. Alcohol has definitely been marketed towards women in the last 20 years. There is a book called, "Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol" that explores this in depth. It is very eye opening and I highly recommend it. Just walk into any liquor store and you see whole sections vying for women's consumption and dollars. Wines with names like, "Mommies time out", "Skinny B!tch" ,"Middle Sister", "Angry Housewife" etc etc. And now the new "Jane Walker" whiskey. It is crazy. Needless to say, women are catching up with men in the liver disease department too. I also have to completely quit, as I did with smoking years ago. I was never going to end that addiction by telling myself, "Oh I'll only smoke on this girls weekend." or "I'll just bum one or two." It does not work for me. As much as I have tried (repeatedly) I am not a moderate drinker. I passed that point and you can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber. Thank you for your observations.6
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@Jent304 - wow, I love this: “Everyone must choose one of two pains: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret.” Thanks for sharing. Sorry you're struggling. You've done it before, I know you can do it again. Have you by any chance checked out alcoholmastery.com? Others here have recommended it, but I just started listening to his videos. Really good stuff. You can look at the first video, where he'd been AF for one week, and then another where it's been a year. You will not believe the difference. Inspirational.4
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I am officially back. I have fell off the wagon too many times to count celebrating my birthday. I have no regrets because I had a great time celebrating this milestone in my life!!! I need to catch up to see what everyone is doing!8
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@kittybenn yes I have the alcohol mastery podcast and have started listening to it regularly. I also went back to my sticker chart on the fridge where I put a "good job!" or some corny sticker for being AF that day.7
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I haven’t been as successful this month. My 40th birthday, biking through wine country and work travel are primarily to blame. Need to get back on track!7
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@kittybenn yes I have the alcohol mastery podcast and have started listening to it regularly. I also went back to my sticker chart on the fridge where I put a "good job!" or some corny sticker for being AF that day.
I like that idea! I'll have to figure out something like that to do. I'm on day 4 of AF. I went to the store yesterday after work to get some stuff and resisted the wine on clearance (and other junk food that I didn't need).6 -
So yesterday, I went to the gym after work, despite my own brain's best efforts to talk me out of it. <<This is a daily struggle with me. By the time I finished at the gym, I was in such a bad, negative mood, I decided to get a bottle of wine. Because if I'm going to make myself go to the gym when I don't want to, and I don't have the energy to, then I deserve to have a glass of wine when I get home. Forcing myself to workout plus forcing myself to abstain from wine is too much negativity for one day for me.
This is my rationale and I'm sticking with it. At least for today.
I was still within my intake limits according to myfitnesspal though, so win win? Who knows.
(As you can see, I'm extremely pessimistic about this whole thing.)
But I only had 2 glasses and stopped. So I'm still being successful at moderating. Yay me.10 -
This may have been discussed in an earlier month. I'm just a March Baby.
Here is another perspective on why some one may want to go AF or Moderation. My main reason for moderation is long term health and to ward off chronic disease like cancer and heart related issues.
My dad passed in 2016 from a diabetes related heart attack and my mom from 2011 to 2016 battled 3 bouts with cancer. After dad passed, I dove into nutrition and using food to fight illness. I realized that the biggest way that I could control my wellness was through food. You can't control genetics or really to some extent environment. Food that went into my and my husband's bodies was the only thing that I could control. We bought and grew the most nutritious food that I could get my hands on. I knew that alcohol was not good for me in an over-all perspective. I knew that I didn't want drink to excess (1-2 glass per night with 2-3 per night on the weekends is not that bad, right?). I knew that I needed to keep my liver functions up and all tests showed that I was ok. But slowly slowly articles that said that alcohol blocked nutrient absorption kept creeping up. At first I ignored them and then justified them, because everyone else could drink and it didn't seem to be an issue for them, but then one day it really did sink in that WTF! All or at least a portion of that good nutrient dense food was being blocked from full benefit!! Geez. In the words of Sansa from Game of Thrones, "I may be a slow learner, but I learn."
Alcohol is like a bad ninja fighting off the good ninjas(food) in our body and occupying all the Sensei's(liver) time so it doesn't have any time for anything else. I think someone here can probably illustrate this in a more scientific way, but this works for me.
So I am on the moderation train for better health. I can't and don't want to go AF completely. Not yet. But maybe some day. We'll see.
I hope all is well with everyone in whatever your goals are. Love and good wishes to all.10 -
@JulieAL1969 >it worked !!! 6 minute rule for cravings and my distraction during those 6 minutes was @JenT304 >what pain do I choose ? Discipline or regret ... DISCIPLINE is a no brainier when you match it up with regret . Love it
thank you both
I too feel everyone's fear of what's to come down the road. I can tell you this; I use to be afraid of once I'm off Lent (this Sunday) I'm not anymore... I feel strong enough and learned so much that I will be able okay with what comes my way. That doesn't mean I won't have challenges; but I'm okay with that. I won't be perfect; but I'll do my best. I have a wedding out of town next month at a Vineyard in Paso Robles that's a weekend event; and then a concert out of town at the end of the month Stage Coach which we are camping there for another long weekend ... Not to mention various out of town beer fest hubby has planned this summer and a Parker Colorado river trip ...and then Key West for our Anniversary this fall... The list goes on and on ... Right ?!? But that's life... Just like with food; I need to learn what's going to work one way or another... With this blog, it's helped me to except the challenge and I thank you ALL for that every single story, thought and info. 9 -
SanDiegofitmom wrote: »I haven’t been as successful this month. My 40th birthday, biking through wine country and work travel are primarily to blame. Need to get back on track!
Happy Birthday!!5 -
YES please!! Count me in!! Beer is my weakness after a long day's work. Empty calories. The sugar and carb content are killing my waist line. Help! Like I said...I'm jumping on this train. 9
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@JulieAL1969 >it worked !!! 6 minute rule for cravings and my distraction during those 6 minutes was @JenT304 >what pain do I choose ? Discipline or regret ... DISCIPLINE is a no brainier when you match it up with regret . Love it thank you both
I too feel everyone's fear of what's to come down the road. I can tell you this; I use to be afraid of once I'm off Lent (this Sunday) I'm not anymore... I feel strong enough and learned so much that I will be able okay with what comes my way. That doesn't mean I won't have challenges; but I'm okay with that. I won't be perfect; but I'll do my best. I have a wedding out of town next month at a Vineyard in Paso Robles that's a weekend event; and then a concert out of town at the end of the month Stage Coach which we are camping there for another long weekend ... Not to mention various out of town beer fest hubby has planned this summer and a Parker Colorado river trip ...and then Key West for our Anniversary this fall... The list goes on and on ... Right ?!? But that's life... Just like with food; I need to learn what's going to work one way or another... With this blog, it's helped me to except the challenge and I thank you ALL for that every single story, thought and info.
I just spent my birthday weekend in Paso we had so much fun. If you have time bring bikes and go from winery to winery. 3 -
Greetings all from Cancun. Thoroughly enjoying my all inclusive vacation and my mindful moderation. Sticking with plans to space out drinking during the day - alternating alcohol with water - and so far really happy with the experience. I feel like I’m getting my money’s worth, in control of myself, and fully present to enjoy the vacation with my family. I’m drinking more than I have since early Jan and finding this group but as I’ve mentioned before - I’m trying to implement the same plan for drinking as I do for my food intake - I successfully lost weight and am maintaining pretty easily by just being mindful and having a plan but not getting freaked out if I go off plan occasionally. Life is too short not to indulge a little, if a person can handle it and get back on track (and I know not everyone can with alcohol but it’s working so far with me).
I had a mimosa at breakfast, a lovely morning at the spa, and now I’m on the treadmill as I type this to you all - will have a couple drinks by the pool this afternoon and some wine before dinner at a tasting - but I don’t want to drink so much that I don’t appreciate this view!
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Aforementioned view...8 -
WildEssenceXO wrote: »YES please!! Count me in!! Beer is my weakness after a long day's work. Empty calories. The sugar and carb content are killing my waist line. Help! Like I said...I'm jumping on this train.
I'm with ya, but my poison is wine! Grrr...4 -
springsweet wrote: »WildEssenceXO wrote: »YES please!! Count me in!! Beer is my weakness after a long day's work. Empty calories. The sugar and carb content are killing my waist line. Help! Like I said...I'm jumping on this train.
I'm with ya, but my poison is wine! Grrr...
Me toooooooo @springsweet2 -
SanDiegofitmom wrote: »I haven’t been as successful this month. My 40th birthday, biking through wine country and work travel are primarily to blame. Need to get back on track!
Happy Birthday!!
Thanks!! @dbanks802 -
Great, inspiring posts about staying in the present moment.
I’m old enough to remember the old “You’ve come a long way, baby” Virginia Slims ads (“You’ve got your own cigarette now, baby”). And then they sponsored the big Virginia Slims tennis tournament. So health conscious! I didn’t realize “we” now have our own whiskey. Lucky us!
I’m really happy that some folks are being successful with finding a moderate path. Much as I’d love to be, I’m pretty sure I’m not a member of your tribe. What’s helping me most I think is the realization that I simply can’t drink in a way that makes me happy. So why would I choose a behavior that I know darn well will result in regret and depression? On the other hand I can easily visualize happy, non-drinking days. Taking visualization to reality is my challenge.
I think Annie Grace observed that most of us who struggle with this are strong people. I get so frustrated that I’ve done things like start a successful business and make some really brave decisions but can’t seem to be stronger than this stupid poison. Ugh. Sorry to vent. I’m just perplexed by how hard this is.7 -
Lots of extra positive vibes in here this morning. To the new people welcome and gather strength through others experiences in this group. Feelings you thought only you were dealing with have been our struggles as well.
Pre-regretting vacations, holidays, birthdays, anniversary's, Christmas parties, picnics, tail gating, etc...etc... Why do we all fear what is days, weeks or months down the road? As I read above, I too am having a month in advance wishy washy feelings of what will happen when I go away for my Anniversary. UGH. So much time spent trying to do the right thing only to worry about what has not arrived yet. I feel strong enough to keep on the right path.
I wish all of you that are questioning or dreading upcoming events easy times once they arrive.
Ordered my first ever Arnold Palmer when we went out last night. Not bad, I will keep an ongoing "dry" list in my phone for future social excursions.
Im not having any regrets. I work hard and am going to enjoy my vacation!!!
I am just being aware of past habits and recognizing that the week after vacation I struggle to jump back into my good habits i had pre-vacation3 -
Here's a person probably experiencing a lil' drinkin' regret.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/m/ccd95f5c-c007-3b54-858b-b0c23e1e3638/a-woman-in-ohio-was-arrested.html
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I aimed for 5 AF days after my overindulgence this weekend. Today is the 4th! Wanted wine with the spaghetti but came here and got a dose of inspiration and determination. Thank you all.10
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I’m facing the struggle I knew I would after Italy. Back to pretty much daily wine although not especially large amounts. I’m finding The Sober School website and blog very useful. She (Kate) has a 6-week class she runs and I’m thinking of doing that beginning April 9. One of her main assertions is that being AF is much easier than moderating. I know that’s true for me. Right now I just don’t feel I have the energy to go there I had in January.
I’m glad this is a place to talk alll this out with my friends.
Did you have a great time in Italy? Welcome back! You can do this. Pretend that its January
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I almost caved tonight and had a big glass of Chardonnay! But guess why I didnt? Because I don't have any at home.
AND I read this thread and remembered why I am trying to be AF. Moderation is not my friend; I really wish it was. But it is what it is.
It's also true that just waiting for the craving to pass worked. I do have a liquor cabinet full of my fav poisons, but what I really wanted was a glass of wine. Instead, I Took a bath, had some tea, played music and just did some pampering. Sometimes, we have to nurture our souls. No one or nothing can do that for us. I have been meditating every day for 40 days now, and I think that is also what is saving me.
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »I almost caved tonight and had a big glass of Chardonnay! But guess why I didnt? Because I don't have any at home.
AND I read this thread and remembered why I am trying to be AF. Moderation is not my friend; I really wish it was. But it is what it is.
Your a HERO!
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I am officially back. I have fell off the wagon too many times to count celebrating my birthday. I have no regrets because I had a great time celebrating this milestone in my life!!! I need to catch up to see what everyone is doing!
I like that! No regrets! We have to just live our lives happy and as healthy as we can. But that doesn't mean we just eat carrot sticks and drink water. Sometimes, indulging is a necessity. Happy you enjoyed.2 -
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@JenT304 I think she will have some regrets tomorrow:)1
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@WinoGelato Beautiful picture! So happy you are enjoying your trip. Soak up that sun!1
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