Less Alcohol- April 2018- One Day at a Time
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I'm not good at this open communication about drinking (shame), but I really am trying. Thank you all for being here.
I can't post too much about myself online. I have been hassled in the past and not just online but in my personal life as a result of posting/sharing too much. I don't mind discussing my drinking as much but I like to leave it a bit more general. I don't think it changes much though. A kind supportive word works just as well whether you know all the specific details or not.6 -
islandbeez wrote: »Hello Community, so many new faces eh! I have not been AF since my vacation started and ended. I drank every day and I havent been able to get back to AF after I returned. It actually makes me lethargic and sick to be drinking. I know I will get AF starting tomorrow, or try my best to be. Being AF for so long really made good things happen in my life. And I want to get back to that feeling. I am still stuck in that special place and I believe I got there because everything before led up to it.
Hey @NormInv I'm sorry you are having the vacation blues
, but your pictures are stunning! For some reason, I decided to have a damp weekend 
so I will start with you today. 
And I will join both of you.....3 -
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »I was at Nordstrom Rack browsing. Not my fav store but I still went. I saw some cute wine glasses with monograms, and next to them was a large clear glass with the word "Sober" on it (it looked like a dictionary entry). So, I bent down to read what it said.
The glass etching said:
"Sober" adj. This person is the opposite of playful or drunk. They are possessed of iron will, but often lack a sense of humor. Helpful with doing dishes, finding CD's and lifts home. In need of several stiff drinks!
I think I stood there looking like I just saw a ghost. First, it was such a ridiculous thing to put on a glass. Second, what was the point of it? Third, who would buy it? Fourth, Huh? I just don't get the humor.
Am I missing something? Is this a movie quote or reference? I seriously don't get it.
Wow. That boggles my mind. No wonder it's at the Rack. I would be surprised by anyone who owned that glass. It's just...tacky.
I really struggled yesterday, I must admit. Friday and Saturday were fine. I had long runs to do and that helped keep me focused. Yesterday was hard. On Saturday, my husband went to see his parents for the weekend and help them with some stuff. After my runs, I spent most of the weekend cleaning the house and doing odd chores that I had been putting off. I enjoyed my peaceful weekend to myself. But when he returned on Sunday evening, I was looking forward to making him a nice dinner and hanging out. After a long weekend helping the folks, he, of course, wanted a cocktail and I really wanted to relax with a glass of wine. I have had an open bottle of Cardonnay in the fridge since Easter and it was calling to me. I kept telling myself I don't need it or want it and all of the other stuff I have been preaching to myself to keep me from feeling like I want to drink, but it's voice was very loud. I am proud to report that I resisted, but I still can't help feeling a bit disappointed in myself that I was so tempted and that it was so hard to resist. Is that silly? I mean, I should be happy that I did not drink, but instead it makes me feel a bit sad that this was a difficult decision. Does anyone else get to feeling this way? Does it ever go away?7 -
Thanks for all the support. I love this thread.6
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Today is 7days AF. Haven’t done that in a long time. It was nice to have my Sunday evening. I normally look at Sunday like my “last chance” before the grind of the workweek and begin earlier in the day, then by 8 I’m sleepy and haven’t done half of what I wanted to get done. No alcohol this weekend at all and I got so much more done. Yay me.
I can totally relate to the "last chance" mindset. I would often take Sunday night as an opportunity to have a bottle of wine, and Monday mornings end up being much harder than they have to be!
This weekend, we got a big snow storm. I usually work Saturday nights, but my work was closed due to weather. Usually, I would enjoy the inclement weather with wine, but my husband and I ordered pizza and watched a movie instead. It was really nice and relaxing, and for the first time in a long time, I felt well-rested for work on a Monday morning.
This week, I don't have much going on socially, but I have three events next week that I know will be a challenge not to drink at. The first is a work dinner event, the second is a Norwex party (where a friend is hosting someone who sells Norwex at her home to go over what she sells... those things are generally unbearable without alcohol), and the third is a diaper keg on Saturday. I'll take all of the good vibes for strength in saying no. I wish they didn't all fall within days of one another!3 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »I was at Nordstrom Rack browsing. Not my fav store but I still went. I saw some cute wine glasses with monograms, and next to them was a large clear glass with the word "Sober" on it (it looked like a dictionary entry). So, I bent down to read what it said.
The glass etching said:
"Sober" adj. This person is the opposite of playful or drunk. They are possessed of iron will, but often lack a sense of humor. Helpful with doing dishes, finding CD's and lifts home. In need of several stiff drinks!
I think I stood there looking like I just saw a ghost. First, it was such a ridiculous thing to put on a glass. Second, what was the point of it? Third, who would buy it? Fourth, Huh? I just don't get the humor.
Am I missing something? Is this a movie quote or reference? I seriously don't get it.
There is so much tacky drinking stuff out there. When I was flying back from Mexico last week I noticed all these T shirts with drinking slogans “I’m drinking about you” and yesterday I went to a Padres game and my sons little league team was there. The lady in charge was pretty sloppy drunk and had a t shirt that said “three up” and then three down with three glasses of wine on it. My husband said something that made her laugh and she leaned down and wiped her mouth on his shirt! Ick. Another funny story about this woman. She is definitely a party girl (she’s totally nice by the way) but last year we went to a baseball team dinner and I had a really bad cold. I only finished about one third of my beer and she kind of made fun of my for not finishing it. She’s like if you’re not drinking it..before I can say anything she picks it up and slams it back. I was trying to tell her don’t drink it I have a cold!! Well, sure enough a few days later at the next boys baseball game - she’s got terrible cold!2 -
By the way I have done terrible at taking days off the month, from Chicago trip to my birthday in wine country to a week in Mexico to Padres game now on my way to SF - I’ve had wine daily not proud but determined to to do some solid AF time when I get back this week. I want to do really healthy eating as well. Luckily I have been working out and running a lot..so there’s that.... 7
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Hello all! I am on day 23 of being AF. The further I go the more I realize I don't want to ever get hammered ever again. I'm starting to understand why my brother never started drinking himself.7
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Did pretty good this week. A-F Mon-Wed and then 3 swallows of a hard seltzer on Thurs. Is that considered AF or not?
Weekend moderation: 2 glasses of wine on Friday, 2 vodka and Cranberrys on Sat, and 1 glass of wine on Sun. I feel really good about it. I didn't want to go over my goals and I didn't. I was very meticulous about weighing and measuring the amount of alcohol as to not go over. I felt good in the mornings and my heart didn't upset my sleep in the nights.
My only slip up was Thurs, but i'm happy with my best week yet. Happy Monday Ya'all!4 -
Food for thought for a Monday or Tuesday- about why we keep going back to drinking.
https://youtu.be/9biW9TRg8U4 1 -
I’m an alcoholic
I’ve attempted to reduce my consumption by giving myself rules
1. No drink before 8.30am
2. Reduce the strength of my drinks
3. Put beer in a different fridge a 20 meter walk
So I’ve done about a month
On Wednesday I decided I’d stop drinking
Thursday 1650ml of beer + 4 shorts
Friday 660ml beer, 500ml wine
Saturday 990ml beer
Sunday nil
Monday nil
This is so hard, I’m seriously suffering
Good to be able to share.
2 months ago a normal day might be 3l of beer or half a bottle of spirits.15 -
My daughter works with me and I had a particularly terrible afternoon today. When I left she said to me go home and have a drink and relax. I told her that I have been alcohol free for eight days and I didn’t want to break my streak. So now I’m home having a little bit of stress cry and drinking my flavored water. Is that more or less sad than crying into a beer? Anyway, I did resist that first drink so I will probably be fine but in the back my mind somewhere I can hear that little whispering voice saying one or two drinks later might be nice.5
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My daughter works with me and I had a particularly terrible afternoon today. When I left she said to me go home and have a drink and relax. I told her that I have been alcohol free for eight days and I didn’t want to break my streak. So now I’m home having a little bit of stress cry and drinking my flavored water. Is that more or less sad than crying into a beer? Anyway, I did resist that first drink so I will probably be fine but in the back my mind somewhere I can hear that little whispering voice saying one or two drinks later might be nice.
Stay strong! You are on a roll. You'll make it to ten days and then it gets easier. Sending you a big hug. Xo1 -
andysport1 wrote: »I’m an alcoholic
I’ve attempted to reduce my consumption by giving myself rules
1. No drink before 8.30am
2. Reduce the strength of my drinks
3. Put beer in a different fridge a 20 meter walk
So I’ve done about a month
On Wednesday I decided I’d stop drinking
Thursday 1650ml of beer + 4 shorts
Friday 660ml beer, 500ml wine
Saturday 990ml beer
Sunday nil
Monday nil
This is so hard, I’m seriously suffering
Good to be able to share.
2 months ago a normal day might be 3l of beer or half a bottle of spirits.
You are making great strides even though you may not feel like you are. I would arm yourself with things to do besides drink. Like stay and read at a coffee shop, exercise, watching "stop drinking expert" on youtube (He is a straight talker. ) We are here for you.
Find a book to read like Alcohol Lied to Me and many others you can find on amazon. We're cheering you on!! Xo5 -
@andysport1 I highly recommend Alcohol Explained by William Porter. Also what Julie said, the stop drinking Expert on youtube. He tells it straight with no nonsense.2
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »Food for thought for a Monday or Tuesday- about why we keep going back to drinking.https://youtu.be/9biW9TRg8U4
Amazing! Thank you for sharing this! One more week and it will be 3 months AF. It is pretty much insanity to forget what is was like to be horribly drinking like I was and still think of drinking most every day.3 -
@salleewins Bravo! That is so wonderful. It sure isn't easy!
I also think every day about having a glass of something. Today, I thought about it at work. But thankfully this evening, the urge is gone.
I'm so happy for you! What are the benefits that you gained in the last three months?1 -
Hey all. I am officially back from vacation now. Even though I only posted like two times I was reading this every few days to stay in the loop.
I drank about half of the days of my vacation. And I definitely enjoyed foods I haven’t had much of since the beginning of 2018 - sweet treats, fatty & greasy foods. And not a regret of any of it. It was good to give myself a week of those treats after 3 1/2 months of only having one treat meal and one night of alcohol a week. I lost 21 & 1/2 lbs in those months and a week away from work, stress and dieting was a nice reward.
Today I jumped right back in! I ate very clean and did yoga after work today. I am going to go back to only one night of drinking and one treat meal per week. I think my body is ready for the healthy lifestyle to come back. Usually it was impossible for me(mentally) to get back into healthy ways after vacations so I am proud of this start!6 -
Erik our philosophies are pretty compatible. I, also, have an allowance meal once a week and I try to limit my alcohol consumption to every other Sunday (the next one being the 22nd).
I know what my weight was a few weeks ago and I know how much I lost but I am focusing on how many years I have regressed weight-wise. So I started mid February and I have lost around 8 years. The next 5 years, my first major weight goal, will not be as easy.
I am experiencing a problem though. My last food allowance involved more beef and fat than normal and apparently I have been too good otherwise and it made me sick until a few hours ago (hopefully). So I have lost my alcohol and some of my bad food tolerance. Talk about backfire... yesterday I went over my normal by about 600 and today I have only been able to eat 600 all day.2 -
Thank you so much @JulieAL1969 . After my husband got home we chatted and I unloaded my bad afternoon then went to make dinner and by the time we were eating I felt fine and had no drinks. It’s really the first day it tugged at me, so I’m glad I stayed strong.
I don’t intend to never drink again but I do love a good streak. I have been reading everyone’s comments and have been trying to decide what my “allowance “ could possibly be. Once a week? Every other? Planned ahead special events? IDK yet but definitely thinking it over.
I’m really glad I found this group. I knew I was drinking too many empty calories but for some reason first night of saying “no drinks” seemed like a big hurdle. But now that I’m over that hurdle I feel great. Thank you all.10 -
@jecky74 Congrats on your hurdle.
Don't let those of us with an allowance influence you. For some people the answer really is never again and the answer to that is a question only you can answer. I have a long history of moderation so I am hoping that I can fully restore that but I am a work in progress and I don't have any real answers right now. I am also trying to lose weight and weekly seems too much but I am not ready for monthly yet (I think). In some ways I feel like I am Seymour in Little Shop of Horrors trying to shrink the alien plant back down to a manageable size.
Crap, now I am going to be singing "Suddenly Seymour" for the rest of the day.9 -
@jecky74 Congrats on your hurdle.
Don't let those of us with an allowance influence you. For some people the answer really is never again and the answer to that is a question only you can answer. I have a long history of moderation so I am hoping that I can fully restore that but I am a work in progress and I don't have any real answers right now. I am also trying to lose weight and weekly seems too much but I am not ready for monthly yet (I think). In some ways I feel like I am Seymour in Little Shop of Horrors trying to shrink the alien plant back down to a manageable size.
Crap, now I am going to be singing "Suddenly Seymour" for the rest of the day.
LOL. Great analogy...and thanks for the ear worm!2 -
Hi you all!
I haven't been here on this thread for quite a while. I have been busy with learning to play the guitar and gardening. I enjoy exercise and lost 36 lbs. I am enjoying life so much more these days; these sober days. It has been since last Christmas that I have had a drink; which was most likely about a bottle and a half, or more, of wine.
This thread was definitely part of my recovery process, it was so supportive. I also should give some credit to The books; This Naked Mind, Blackout, and The Alcoholism & Addiction Cure....in that order...I was deciding to just slow down at first, but found out that my body was addicted to alcohol. I haven't had a drink since Christmas and I am so so grateful for my new life. What a wonderful new life I have.....I pray that this message somehow encourages one of you on a new path in your life also. Blessings.
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My husband is still drinking and last night he told me he isn't having any alcohol Tuesday -Friday. We will see. It is a process... 5
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I attempted to do a dry April but ended up having a couple of drinks over the weekend (blaming the beautiful weather and an outdoor get together). I'm not super unhappy about it as I haven't had one since I even avoided the glass of wine I so desperately wanted last night after a stressful day at work. This attempt has made me realize how much I used to drink and even though I may slip up, any effort is better than none. I don't ever expect to not drink but definitely need to slow my quantity down.6
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Hi everyone!!! I haven't posted in a while. I've been busy. I have been staying pretty good with one slip up this month. I am trying to see if I can just stick to drinking one day out of the week like a Friday or Saturday and limit to just 2-3 drinks in that one evening. Looks like everyone is doing well.4
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I attempted to do a dry April but ended up having a couple of drinks over the weekend (blaming the beautiful weather and an outdoor get together). I'm not super unhappy about it as I haven't had one since I even avoided the glass of wine I so desperately wanted last night after a stressful day at work. This attempt has made me realize how much I used to drink and even though I may slip up, any effort is better than none. I don't ever expect to not drink but definitely need to slow my quantity down.
You make good points! I'm not quitting but 95 percent of the time I won't drink.1 -
OMG, sorry but I am so glad I'm not alone, @JenT304 and @NormInv! A couple of friends wanted me to go out to happy hour with them last night, and I hesitated bc I knew I would be super tempted to drink, and prob too much. But then I thought that that was ridiculous and I can't avoid going out with friends, plus I don't want to. So I went. And drank three glasses of wine. And came home and engaged in disappointment/rage eating of chocolate, cashews and pretzels (my husband had his backpack stolen yesterday with his wallet, passport, etc. in it, and we are in a monumental hassle trying to replace everything - that, too, probably contributed to all this). Woke up in the middle of the night feeling like *kitten* and had to take four ibuprofen. Hungover this morning. Gained weight overnight. SO mad at myself on top of big headache. I'd been going along pretty well there for awhile, but, wow, did I take a dive.10
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@kittybenn Between the alcohol and the salty snacks you are retaining extra water weight not fat so you can let that one go. In about 4 days you will be leveled out again especially if you eat potassium rich foods.
I do this thing, and it is probably stupid, but I don't get mad at myself. I get disappointed at past me for making bad choices as though it were another person. I don't want his mistakes to be my mistakes. In a way it is true because we all start the new day with fresh possibilities and sometimes headaches and fresh possibilities. I think it kind of helps me from being too hard on myself which never really helps. That is why I chose this screen name to remind myself that it is always a new day.6
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