Less Alcohol- April 2018- One Day at a Time
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@NovusDies - thanks so much for the great thoughts.1
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OMG, sorry but I am so glad I'm not alone, @JenT304 and @NormInv! A couple of friends wanted me to go out to happy hour with them last night, and I hesitated bc I knew I would be super tempted to drink, and prob too much. But then I thought that that was ridiculous and I can't avoid going out with friends, plus I don't want to. So I went. And drank three glasses of wine. And came home and engaged in disappointment/rage eating of chocolate, cashews and pretzels (my husband had his backpack stolen yesterday with his wallet, passport, etc. in it, and we are in a monumental hassle trying to replace everything - that, too, probably contributed to all this). Woke up in the middle of the night feeling like *kitten* and had to take four ibuprofen. Hungover this morning. Gained weight overnight. SO mad at myself on top of big headache. I'd been going along pretty well there for awhile, but, wow, did I take a dive.
Ugh, I am so sorry about the bad day. I agree with the comment that the weight gain is almost certainly NOT directly attributable to what you ate and drank yesterday, other than to be short term water weight and not going to be with you permanently. You're going to shed that quickly by drinking lots of water, so why not do the same with the feelings of guilt that you also woke up with. Consider those temporary and as you drink water and say goodbye to the water weight, say goodbye to the self loathing as well.
Good luck with the documentation recovery - that is so frustrating! URGH!6 -
@kittybenn Ahhh, I'm so sorry you feel badly. We all do this kind of thing one time or another. All of us. It can happen when we least expect it. You were in pain emotionally and I think when we are hurting so badly, we have to numb ourselves, so you did. One bad day doesn't discount months of hard work and great progress.
I know it's easy to feel guilty and even mad at yourself, but like you would say to us, it's time to look froward til tomorrow. You will feel so much better. Sending you a big hug. Now, you know your triggers, in a way, you are better for it. Live and learn:) xo3 -
Hi everyone!!! I haven't posted in a while. I've been busy. I have been staying pretty good with one slip up this month. I am trying to see if I can just stick to drinking one day out of the week like a Friday or Saturday and limit to just 2-3 drinks in that one evening. Looks like everyone is doing well.
Good to hear from you! Sounds like all is well. One slip up is not bad at all. Xo1 -
MaryBethHempel wrote: »Hi you all!
I haven't been here on this thread for quite a while. I have been busy with learning to play the guitar and gardening. I enjoy exercise and lost 36 lbs. I am enjoying life so much more these days; these sober days. It has been since last Christmas that I have had a drink; which was most likely about a bottle and a half, or more, of wine.
This thread was definitely part of my recovery process, it was so supportive. I also should give some credit to The books; This Naked Mind, Blackout, and The Alcoholism & Addiction Cure....in that order...I was deciding to just slow down at first, but found out that my body was addicted to alcohol. I haven't had a drink since Christmas and I am so so grateful for my new life. What a wonderful new life I have.....I pray that this message somehow encourages one of you on a new path in your life also. Blessings.
You are inspiring! I love hearing how much better life is for you. That's a lot of weight loss! I'm so happy for you! Xo0 -
@kittybenn Between the alcohol and the salty snacks you are retaining extra water weight not fat so you can let that one go. In about 4 days you will be leveled out again especially if you eat potassium rich foods.
I do this thing, and it is probably stupid, but I don't get mad at myself. I get disappointed at past me for making bad choices as though it were another person. I don't want his mistakes to be my mistakes. In a way it is true because we all start the new day with fresh possibilities and sometimes headaches and fresh possibilities. I think it kind of helps me from being too hard on myself which never really helps. That is why I chose this screen name to remind myself that it is always a new day.
I didn't know what your screen name meant. That's wonderful! I love that.0 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »I didn't know what your screen name meant. That's wonderful! I love that.
If your name means what I think it does we are neighboring states and close to the same age. I am not sure what the "Julie" part stands for. Do you like to julienne vegetables?
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »I didn't know what your screen name meant. That's wonderful! I love that.
If your name means what I think it does we are neighboring states and close to the same age. I am not sure what the "Julie" part stands for. Do you like to julienne vegetables?
Yes born in '69. Julie is my name and A is middle initial. L is last initial. I chose the username long ago, but I wish I chose a better one like yours. That's so creative. Xo
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It looks like everyone is doing great reducing their alcohol consumption. Well done!
Today is about 180 days since I've had a drink. Eek.7 -
I'm in! I've come to realize that I have a drink after a stressful day ... during a fun afternoon ...at the end of a hard day ... etc. You get the idea. It's become a crutch for me. It's something I need to work on and I want to cut back. A few months ago, I had a 30 day no-alcohol personal challenge and the first few days were harder than I thought they would be. By the end of it, I felt so much better and I had lost more weight than I previously had in a 30 day time frame, so it was a double-plus! It's become a habit to have a drink after a long day at work...so I think it's a good thing to do every once in awhile to "reset' myself - not only physically, but mentally and emotionally too.3
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@JulieAL1969 I guessed wrong and my joke was lame but I got to use a culinary term. We are close in age though.
It is not my original. I changed it to this before entering the forums. Thanks though.
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I'm having such a struggle, but I'm determined to get back to AF. It's just best for me. The trip to Italy followed by the job loss have done a number on me (or more accurately, given me an excuse to do a number on myself). I had the idea to go back and read some of our January thread. I have each month bookmarked so could get back to it easily. It was fun to see all of us back in January, just starting out. I didn't read far enough to get to your day 10, @JulieAL1969, but I could see that bracelet coming. I read my own posts and remembered how good January Me felt. Woke up early this morning and came to my computer to write myself a note, reminding myself of all the reasons I want to do this.
Have a great day, friends.9 -
I just came up with a strategy I think might help me. I KNOW how Day 5 feels. I KNOW how Day 10 feels . . . all the way to DAY 22 (my longest streak). So, I looked at my calendar and saw events I have coming up for what will be Day 10, Day 18, Day 20, and I wrote beside those events how I will feel at those events after not drinking for that long. For example, at a party on Day 20--I'll be looking so good, my face will be radiant, I'll be in jeans I know I can wear by Day 20, etc. In January and February I learned what the rewards of not drinking feel like. I want those back.12
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It's 5:30early here in California, and happy to be awake in time to get an early start on this beautiful day! I am not taking this wonderful feeling for granted. I want to thank you all for your unselfish shares, your thoughts and stories. We are on this journey together to a better life, still with its struggles, but comforting to know that we can come here everyday to talk about it, without judgement.
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Last night I decided to add AF beer to my evening. I drank 4, then switched to my regular brand (my plan). While it wasn't a news breaking event, I did drink less than my daily goal. I think next time I will start with my beer and switch after a set number. Victory. 6
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Hi Friends, Just sat down after a productive day. At work today , I thought back to last fall. I remember feeling incredibly nauseous one morning at work, and asking the lady in the next room if she had some mints or something. I said to her "Yeah, I think I may have a touch of the flu." But , I knew deep down it was the wine flu! I've taught several time with severe headaches and nausea and would live for lunch to get a cheeseburger to chase the hangover away. I am so grateful not to have had that for the last few months.
@donimfp That January thread was hot. We were all very motivated and determined. I remember that momentum was great. And yes, the 10 days reward bracelet I bought myself is still on my wrist every day. I remember how hard it was to get to day 10! I love your idea of marking on your calendar motivational words on those significant days. You're so right about how good you'll look- skin bright and not puffy, tummy flatter, etc. I know you can do it! You did before and you can do it again. Just work through those cravings.
I think some advice for all the beginners on our thread is that the first few weeks of abstaining are very hard. You feel like you are being punished. You feel anxious, depressed, left out of letting yourself go to happy hour or have your favorite drinks on the weekends, but then magically after about a few weeks, you start to notice, how happy you feel. How refreshed you wake up in the morning. How less anxious and deprived you feel.
The brain and body are getting back to your old self before you had alcohol. Those toxins are being cleared and your brain chemistry is changing for the good. We all know that alcohol makes us more anxious, not less. One way to view it is that you're doing a 21 day cleanse. Just like you would for your diet, do a 21 days alcohol cleanse. And then you can decide if you want to moderate or drink less than you used to. I'm just rambling right now..... sending all of your courage to meet your individual goals if abstaining , moderating or just changing your normal routine. xo4 -
looneycatblue wrote: »It's 5:30early here in California, and happy to be awake in time to get an early start on this beautiful day! I am not taking this wonderful feeling for granted. I want to thank you all for your unselfish shares, your thoughts and stories. We are on this journey together to a better life, still with its struggles, but comforting to know that we can come here everyday to talk about it, without judgement.
Happy you got up and enjoyed the day! Love sharing this journey with you.0 -
Last night I decided to add AF beer to my evening. I drank 4, then switched to my regular brand (my plan). While it wasn't a news breaking event, I did drink less than my daily goal. I think next time I will start with my beer and switch after a set number. Victory.
Less alcohol is less alcohol in your body. That's great progress and you saved calories in the form of sugar. Small victories are wonderful!
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@JulieAL1969 I guessed wrong and my joke was lame but I got to use a culinary term. We are close in age though.
It is not my original. I changed it to this before entering the forums. Thanks though.
I liked your joke! Made me smile!0 -
@julie you are awesome. Thank you for these wise words tonight. 2
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Day 10 AF. Husband offered to take me to the local Mexican restaurant for dinner but I had to tell him it was too tempting to have alcohol. The owners are a business client and it’s not unusual for a free margarita to be sent to the table, so even if I was strong enough to not order one it might have arrived anyway. I’m not going to lie, it was tempting though.5
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Girl you’re a rockstar2
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Day 26 AF. Pms, mood swings, roller coaster all month I barely know who I am lol. I guess this is who I am when I’m not drunk. I keep telling myself to be patient, this is clearly going to take a while for my body and mind to adjust to. For the record, I don’t wish I was drinking. I’m happy I’m doing this, even though it’s been strange. Still worth it.11
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Damp April for me as well. Oddly feeling okay, and not stressing over it.5
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So my drink allowance day is 3 days away. I have been ill since last Sunday night and I am not even sure of the cause anymore. I have not eaten enough all week and I am extremely irritated. There is a part of me that definitely wants to skip and wait for May 6th there is another justifying the drink in spades because I can easily afford the calories and it is "allowed".
I don't expect any replies. I am the only one who can make this decision based on what I know or hope I know about myself. I am just throwing it out there to see if it helps me somehow.
The one thing I definitely know about myself is that I only have to hold out until Sunday night at 9:00 PM if I don't want to drink. After that the allowance expires. It is a hard and fast rule that I never break. In fact, each night at 9:00 that I don't indulge and I notice it on the clock I sigh a bit of relief.4 -
So my drink allowance day is 3 days away. I have been ill since last Sunday night and I am not even sure of the cause anymore. I have not eaten enough all week and I am extremely irritated. There is a part of me that definitely wants to skip and wait for May 6th there is another justifying the drink in spades because I can easily afford the calories and it is "allowed".
I don't expect any replies. I am the only one who can make this decision based on what I know or hope I know about myself. I am just throwing it out there to see if it helps me somehow.
The one thing I definitely know about myself is that I only have to hold out until Sunday night at 9:00 PM if I don't want to drink. After that the allowance expires. It is a hard and fast rule that I never break. In fact, each night at 9:00 that I don't indulge and I notice it on the clock I sigh a bit of relief.
Insightful, I hope it helped.2 -
A friend brought this to my attention today. Really good read. 'Binge drinking has become completely normalized': Has boozy mom culture gone too far?
“Mommy’s wine has become a pop culture trend, a marketer’s dream and a hashtag,” said Dr. Crystal Tennille Clark, a psychiatrist and assistant professor at Northwestern’s Feinberg School of Medicine who specializes in women’s health. “I do think we’re losing sight of what a problem (drinking) could be. Many people, whether they’re men or women, don’t appreciate the risks of drinking.”5 -
A friend brought this to my attention today. Really good read. 'Binge drinking has become completely normalized': Has boozy mom culture gone too far?
“Mommy’s wine has become a pop culture trend, a marketer’s dream and a hashtag,” said Dr. Crystal Tennille Clark, a psychiatrist and assistant professor at Northwestern’s Feinberg School of Medicine who specializes in women’s health. “I do think we’re losing sight of what a problem (drinking) could be. Many people, whether they’re men or women, don’t appreciate the risks of drinking.”
This was a good read. I think that moms have always drank in the 50s 60s and 70s they just did it in the closet. Social media puts it out there in the open so now it seems to be more acceptable.3 -
A friend brought this to my attention today. Really good read. 'Binge drinking has become completely normalized': Has boozy mom culture gone too far?
“Mommy’s wine has become a pop culture trend, a marketer’s dream and a hashtag,” said Dr. Crystal Tennille Clark, a psychiatrist and assistant professor at Northwestern’s Feinberg School of Medicine who specializes in women’s health. “I do think we’re losing sight of what a problem (drinking) could be. Many people, whether they’re men or women, don’t appreciate the risks of drinking.”
Good article. I think that by normalizing it now, there are women who probably drink more than they would if they were home alone. Now, there are painting wine parties at local bars and events like that to get women's business. I also think back to the shows like Mad Men and see that this toxin was just as popular. I dont know what to think.
I had a dream last night. I ordered a vodka at a bar in the dream, Drank it straight and then said "oh no, I forgot I wasnt drinking."
Tonight, I took myself out for mexican food and watched the women at the bar drinking margaritas. All I could think of was how many calories are in those. And they weren't the good margs, they were the ones made with a mix and tequila premade. Now, I did consider for a brief moment ordering a shot of Tequila. LOL But I stuck with water. I'm feeling alittle depressed this evening. I feel like I have not outlet for stress besides long walks and tea. It's just one of those evenings, it will pass. I need to pick up a new hobby I think like our friend Mary Beth who started to learn guitar.
It also doesn't help that my husband has been drinking more lately. He never did that before but it is escalating for some reason. We don't talk about it , but I am observing tonight: two beers, two scotches so far.. and that doesnt count what he probably drank while I went for a long walk. To each his own. Like someone said on the thread earlier, I'm not going to preach to him.
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »A friend brought this to my attention today. Really good read. 'Binge drinking has become completely normalized': Has boozy mom culture gone too far?
“Mommy’s wine has become a pop culture trend, a marketer’s dream and a hashtag,” said Dr. Crystal Tennille Clark, a psychiatrist and assistant professor at Northwestern’s Feinberg School of Medicine who specializes in women’s health. “I do think we’re losing sight of what a problem (drinking) could be. Many people, whether they’re men or women, don’t appreciate the risks of drinking.”
Good article. I think that by normalizing it now, there are women who probably drink more than they would if they were home alone. Now, there are painting wine parties at local bars and events like that to get women's business. I also think back to the shows like Mad Men and see that this toxin was just as popular. I dont know what to think.
I had a dream last night. I ordered a vodka at a bar in the dream, Drank it straight and then said "oh no, I forgot I wasnt drinking."
Tonight, I took myself out for mexican food and watched the women at the bar drinking margaritas. All I could think of was how many calories are in those. And they weren't the good margs, they were the ones made with a mix and tequila premade. Now, I did consider for a brief moment ordering a shot of Tequila. LOL But I stuck with water. I'm feeling alittle depressed this evening. I feel like I have not outlet for stress besides long walks and tea. It's just one of those evenings, it will pass. I need to pick up a new hobby I think like our friend Mary Beth who started to learn guitar.
It also doesn't help that my husband has been drinking more lately. He never did that before but it is escalating for some reason. We don't talk about it , but I am observing tonight: two beers, two scotches so far.. and that doesnt count what he probably drank while I went for a long walk. To each his own. Like someone said on the thread earlier, I'm not going to preach to him.
Same here too Julie with my spouse. I keep hoping to be leading by example, and he will finally come around. I hope the same for you as well.3
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