How do you guys flirt?

So I know the effects of flirting and what it means. I know people who are good at flirting. In fact I know everything about flirting, except...

How exactly do you flirt?

People recommend flirting to feel good about yourself and celebrate a more attractive body as we lose (or gain!) weight. But I wouldn't know what to say, what to do. I don't know what's considered flirty.

Nobody has ever flirted with me, so I can't judge from that!

(arches eyebrows) How YOU doin'?

Well, from my experience, it's not that hard.

Flirting is mostly reading body language. People who have that "silver tongue," that's all that is. The actual talking part is easy.

Hey baby what's ur sign?


If you were a booger, I'de pick you everytime.

OMGEEZ!!!! i burst out laughing so loud i scared my sleeping dog!!!!

LOL great flirting -
I don't flirt - at my age it's too 'joan rivers' and just kind of creepy
but I got a laugh from this post ty

i usually just stare and breathe heavily... i heard girls love that!

This is such a good question

Eyes --- catch the gaze of a guy you want to flirt with, make sure he sees you looking Hold his gaze for one, maybe two seconds at most, then drop your eyes, again for maybe one, two seconds, then "shyly" glance back up at him, and let him catch you glancing back up. Bingo! Haul him into the boat

Start a conversation --- Guys love to be asked to help (sappy, I know, but it works). In a library, casually go up, smile and ask a flirtable guy, "Excuse me, you look like someone who knows his way around here pretty well, could you help me find (insert book here) by (insert author here)?" Adapt to your surroundings (grocery store, art gallery, etc.)

For the love of Pete, don't try this at bars. Ugh. Meat market! Everyone is flirting there, and it's like a cattle stampede. Better places: dog parks, galleries, bookstores, farmer's markets, train stations.

Once you're talking and it seems like you're getting along, casually touching the guy lightly on the forearm as you talk (don't leave it there, just touch then stop) is always a good one. Also, mirror his body language. If he's leaning on one of his elbows, lean on one of your elbows (preferably the same side). Keep your body language "open," not defensive: no crossed arms, etc. Make your body faces his directly.

Have fun!

hmm... flirting? well, i suppose there's the obvious twirling your hair and giggling, but I have no idea about that.

What I'd suggest:
1. half-smile to show you're interested and give them a full smile when you talk to them
2. eye contact, but not like creepy/staring contest. Look away/down after you've maintained like 3-4 seconds of eye contact.
3. I've heard subtley touching your mouth (biting your lip, covering it to laugh) is somehow subconciously sexual... and thus maybe flirty (but maybe practice in a mirror so it doesn't look like you're making an effort).

---note: I have no clue if I flirt, but I'm doing my best giving this advice, so if it sucks don't hate on me. thanks---

4. Be interested in what he says. Ask a follow up question. Also relate it to yourself if you have something in common, if not, ask him more about it,
5. Don't creepy giggle at everything he says, but if he makes a funny go ahead and laugh.
6. Be confident.
7. Be nice.
That's all I've got. Hopefully there are some sharks out there who are more up to speed on their flirty than me.

I start with the worst pick-up line I can possibly think of (as in cheesy and corny, not so much disgusting or perverted.) If she doesn't roll her eyes and walk away, I'm golden!

Seriously, though, the big secret about flirting, most people don't even know they are doing it, it's about 99% subconscious. It's a feeling more than an activity, and it's all about being in a comfort zone with the person you're with to drop barriers and walls and just let go. It's all natural instinct, if you're consciously trying to flirt, it comes across as terribly fake and annoying, most of the time. Just be you, and when you are talking to someone you find attractive, just relax and let the conversation happen. Odds are you're flirting, whether you realize it or not.

Oh, and finding someone attractive does not mean you want to date or do anything more than chat and flirt briefly.

Be yourself, be comfortable, and have fun

When I flirt with my boyfriend, it's giggling, sly smiles, light teasing and touching, lowering my voice, leaning in close, eye contact...

Really, I don't think there's too much of a trick to it, just try to have fun in the moment with the person you are intending to flirt with. You make it sound like you might have a bit of social anxiety, which I have had problems with myself. Some things that I used to do in the past that are flirt-killers are crossing your arms (makes it seem like you're separating yourself from the situation/not letting yourself in fully), offering one-word answers to questions, not allowing eye contact...Don't do anything you're super-uncomfortable yourself with, your own discomfort may show through, but do try to push your own boundaries when you feel ready.

Sitting with your knees toward a person is a subconscious way of saying you're interested in them. And definitely ask them about themselves, try to get to know them. Letting someone know that you have an interest in them for themselves is always a good thing

Hope this helped a little bit! I used to read articles on Wikihow about how to flirt, lol; maybe some of those would help you out, too?

Come hang out with me for a day......you will learn everything you need to know!

Hello

I have no advice concerning your question yet (my husband knew me for TWO years before he asked me out haha) but I am really interested in it for two reasons..

(a) I teach A Level English and part of that is studying body language (movement, how you stand, facial expressions, hand gestures etc) - over 80% of our communication is through body language so our words only convey around 20%

(b) More personally, your question totally reminded me of students I've taught with Asperger's Syndrome. By far the most difficult aspect of any communication for them (including flirting) is body language (eye contact in particular) and 'reading between the lines' or understanding what a person means when they say something. Most aspects of flirting would be included in the very things AS people find difficult - humour, innuendo, body language! Just the way you worded your question and said you have 'learned' how to be social made me think AS. Hope I've not made you feel uncomfortable if this isn't what you have, I'm just trying to be helpful. Asperger's and similar conditions fascinate me as my son also has it.

Some of the practical answers people have given are really good - but when you have to 'learn' these things instead of it coming naturally it can be quite exhausting! Good Luck x

Thank you! I'll look on Wikihow and eHow. I never thought to Google!?

I do have social anxiety actually (though it's the least problematic of my diagnosed mental illnesses so I often forget - except, of course, in social situations).

I'm starting to get an idea of what flirting actually IS now... it's a way of conversing with someone rather than a particular string of words, or actions. You flirt while doing something else, rather than flirting being this stand-alone activity.

Unfortunately this is so far removed from how I actually converse with people in real life... I'm not sure if I could ever learn to be half as sociable in real life.

When I speak to people, I am usually facing and looking at a 90 degree angle to them. I never make eye contact and my body language is ... well, I never got the hang of it, so I have no idea what it's like... I guess I'd describe it as "closed". I'm usually nervous (if it's a person I don't know) and I am not good at stringing together long sentences without having to pause or 'um'...

I promise I'm a nice person when you get to know me though

I'm sure there are plenty of willing volunteers on here for you to practice with

"I promise I'm a nice person when you get to know me though"

This is how I know you can do it! Maybe it will take a little practice to get rid of the nervousness, but when you do you will have one of the most important things already And hey, nervousness can even be used to your advantage too, now that I think about it - my boyfriend and I are pretty much the two most awkward and shy people in the world but somehow on our first date together we found each other's nervousness absolutely endearing. Like other people are saying, it's easy when you do find the right person, too.

Just please, do remember to be you!

ETA: I wanted to add, unless there's a specific object of affection you have in mind, it becomes a bit easier to flirt if you don't look at a flirting partner as a potential love interest - just as someone to have a bit of fun with; that way, no harm done if they don't reciprocate, so there is less pressure.

I can't believe a looker like you doesn't know how to flirt?

See its easy..................................