How do you guys flirt?

Hello

I have no advice concerning your question yet (my husband knew me for TWO years before he asked me out haha) but I am really interested in it for two reasons..

(a) I teach A Level English and part of that is studying body language (movement, how you stand, facial expressions, hand gestures etc) - over 80% of our communication is through body language so our words only convey around 20%

(b) More personally, your question totally reminded me of students I've taught with Asperger's Syndrome. By far the most difficult aspect of any communication for them (including flirting) is body language (eye contact in particular) and 'reading between the lines' or understanding what a person means when they say something. Most aspects of flirting would be included in the very things AS people find difficult - humour, innuendo, body language! Just the way you worded your question and said you have 'learned' how to be social made me think AS. Hope I've not made you feel uncomfortable if this isn't what you have, I'm just trying to be helpful. Asperger's and similar conditions fascinate me as my son also has it.

Some of the practical answers people have given are really good - but when you have to 'learn' these things instead of it coming naturally it can be quite exhausting! Good Luck x

"I promise I'm a nice person when you get to know me though"

This is how I know you can do it! Maybe it will take a little practice to get rid of the nervousness, but when you do you will have one of the most important things already And hey, nervousness can even be used to your advantage too, now that I think about it - my boyfriend and I are pretty much the two most awkward and shy people in the world but somehow on our first date together we found each other's nervousness absolutely endearing. Like other people are saying, it's easy when you do find the right person, too.

Just please, do remember to be you!

ETA: I wanted to add, unless there's a specific object of affection you have in mind, it becomes a bit easier to flirt if you don't look at a flirting partner as a potential love interest - just as someone to have a bit of fun with; that way, no harm done if they don't reciprocate, so there is less pressure.

Same with me,I deal with the public every day so have a tendency to talk "at" someone rather then "to" them.
Add that to a person that is extremely awkward around ladies trying to not do something wrong makes it tough.

The be yourself and let the chips fall where they will really is the thing,am slowly learning that and also not being devastated if the lady is not interested.

I still say it is tougher on a guy to be rejected then it is for a lady.

Maybe just start with people you feel comfortable with rather than just random flirting with strangers. I know it's not easy to engage in social situations or activities you aren't comfortable with but Don't let fear of rejection hold you back. You would be surprised at how flattered men are when cute women pay them a bit of attention.

Why on earth would you think you should stay away from flirting,you are a pretty lady.
Even if it doesn`t "work" every time that fact remains the same..

And no,I didn`t say that as a line or a flirt,was being honest.

I have to agree with this statement. I have a close friend that is still hyperventilating about talking to guys, going on a date or even thinking of kissing a guy. My advice to her is, don't think about how you are going to handle a date or even how the kiss will turn out. That's thinking too far ahead. Just take it one step at a time. Be flattered if there's a comment or two your way, but don't over think it. You'll drive yourself crazy! Granted, I never had anyone flirt with me, so I'd probably laugh and dig a little deeper to see where he came up with that line and what other lines he's tried (Keeping a friendly smile on my face to keep it light and easy). It's a good way to get some funny conversation going. If anything else, at least you both have had a good laugh!

And as far as dating, I haven't had many boyfriends, but the one I am currently with had met me at my sister's wedding. The bust of my bridesmaid dress was a bit too big and he caught me fishing my camera and my keys out of my dress! I didn't realize he was there...I was rushing to a friend to give her my camera, he happened to be standing there. Embarrassing for me? Could've been, but my thought process was that I wasn't going to see this guy after today, so it didn't mater what he thought of me. We ended up in the same circles that night and were just giving each other humorous crap the whole time. Next thing I know, he was asking a mutual friend about me. Totally random and wasn't even aware we were flirting. Next time we met up was with a group of friends. He kept saying he liked my shoes...later found out that was him trying to say he liked me!

I never understood people when they said "it'll happen when you least expect it." But hey, when you let your insecurities go around someone and don't realize it, things may just click.