What's with the diet shaming?
Replies
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stlbluefansarah wrote: »I recently restarted my quest to lose weight, and after almost 2 months, I am down about 16 pounds. In the past, I've tried traditional diets and less popular diets, and I finally found one that's working for me (i.e. I'm losing weight and pretty easily able to stick to it.) I am proud of myself. Some have commented on my jeans fitting more loosely, and it feels good. With that loss, a few have asked how I'm doing it, so I tell them. Diet and exercise, of course. But then when I tell them the diet, 90% of people tell me I should be doing this, instead of that, and I'm not doing it right, etc., etc.
It feels like if I were to tell 147 people about my diet, I would get 147 different opinions on what I should be doing instead. And each of those 147 people is somehow an all-knowing nutrition expert who knows THE ONLY healthy way to lose weight, be it low-carb, low-cal, IF, vegan, gluten-free, etc.
Why can't people just say, "Keep up the good work!" and keep their opinions to themselves anymore? I'm not looking for an answer to this question. I guess I'm just looking to vent and commiserate with anyone else who is experiencing the same.
Sadly that’s just what people are like!
Well done on the lose. Oh and ‘keep up the good work’
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tennisdude2004 wrote: »stlbluefansarah wrote: »I recently restarted my quest to lose weight, and after almost 2 months, I am down about 16 pounds. In the past, I've tried traditional diets and less popular diets, and I finally found one that's working for me (i.e. I'm losing weight and pretty easily able to stick to it.) I am proud of myself. Some have commented on my jeans fitting more loosely, and it feels good. With that loss, a few have asked how I'm doing it, so I tell them. Diet and exercise, of course. But then when I tell them the diet, 90% of people tell me I should be doing this, instead of that, and I'm not doing it right, etc., etc.
It feels like if I were to tell 147 people about my diet, I would get 147 different opinions on what I should be doing instead. And each of those 147 people is somehow an all-knowing nutrition expert who knows THE ONLY healthy way to lose weight, be it low-carb, low-cal, IF, vegan, gluten-free, etc.
Why can't people just say, "Keep up the good work!" and keep their opinions to themselves anymore? I'm not looking for an answer to this question. I guess I'm just looking to vent and commiserate with anyone else who is experiencing the same.
Sadly that’s just what people are like!
Well done on the lose. Oh and ‘keep up the good work’
It is so annoying. They see the results. Yet they argue. They have not done any actual research, yes they argue. They have not tried it , yet they argue. Please let's agree to disagree. You have got this. Bravo!!!5 -
SuzySunshine99 wrote: »If you tell 0 people about your diet, you will get 0 opinions. If people ask me how I lost weight, I am purposely vague and will sometimes just refer them to MFP.
LOL same- or I say I haven’t lost it, it’s just moved around
Everyone will have a perspective on how things “should” be. If you find what works (and it’s healthy and safe) have at it!
Like I wish I was into Paleo (because meat and veggies, hello?!) but I find too many things I enjoy and help sustain my appetite aren’t on the plan- so we do what works for us
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MsHarryWinston wrote: »
I play the holophoner now too.3 -
but do you play it well? That’s the question.MsHarryWinston wrote: »
I play the holophoner now too.
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I think a lot of time people who aren't succeeding don't want to see others succeed so they do anything they can to accomplish that. They tell you it won't work in hopes to make you give up. When you give up they can feel better about their own failures (Both to reach goals or take the first step to their goal). As long as you are getting the right amount of calories keep at it.2
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Please try not to be put out by what others say. You are doing what is right for yourself, providing for your own nutritional needs. The only thing which really matters after that, the object of your affections holds you as his. Many would give their eye teeth for that simple statement.1
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Had a group of co-workers that cornered me in the elevator, ask me how I did it?
I said, "Ate less, moved more."
One guy laughingly replied, "We were hoping you wouldn't say that."
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People love gimmick diets. Hate the word---DIET!
Just translates to temporary weight loss and gaining it all back then some.
Eat less...move more....LOG what goes in. This is a lifetime commitment. People do not like to hear this....they want that gimmick 3 -
Get 100 nutritionists in a room together and you will find 100 different opinions on what one should and should not be doing.
We may all be a part of the same species, but we each have subtle differences in chemical make-up that determine how we process foods.
High five to you for sticking to what works for you and continuing to work toward your goals!!
Meh, we’re not really that different. The OP lost weight by doing exactly what every other person who has lost weight has done - created a calorie deficit. How she chose to achieve that deficit may be individualized but the calorie deficit, where CI<CO is what causes the weight loss. That’s the part that I think many people don’t want to hear - that it is just that simple (but that doesn’t mean it’s easy).10 -
stlbluefansarah wrote: »I recently restarted my quest to lose weight, and after almost 2 months, I am down about 16 pounds. In the past, I've tried traditional diets and less popular diets, and I finally found one that's working for me (i.e. I'm losing weight and pretty easily able to stick to it.) I am proud of myself. Some have commented on my jeans fitting more loosely, and it feels good. With that loss, a few have asked how I'm doing it, so I tell them. Diet and exercise, of course. But then when I tell them the diet, 90% of people tell me I should be doing this, instead of that, and I'm not doing it right, etc., etc.
It feels like if I were to tell 147 people about my diet, I would get 147 different opinions on what I should be doing instead. And each of those 147 people is somehow an all-knowing nutrition expert who knows THE ONLY healthy way to lose weight, be it low-carb, low-cal, IF, vegan, gluten-free, etc.
Why can't people just say, "Keep up the good work!" and keep their opinions to themselves anymore? I'm not looking for an answer to this question. I guess I'm just looking to vent and commiserate with anyone else who is experiencing the same.
(Had to add some Futurama love to the thread.
Opinions are like appendices. They're mostly harmless, but sometimes they become inflammed and need to be removed with a knife.
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A friend of mine asked me the other day what I gave up to lose the weight, I snarkely replied a little bit of counter space for my kitchen scale. Then I told her seriously all you need to do is count calories and she looked at me like I asked her to eat broken glass.
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mutantspicy wrote: »A friend of mine asked me the other day what I gave up to lose the weight, I snarkely replied a little bit of counter space for my kitchen scale. Then I told her seriously all you need to do is count calories and she looked at me like I asked her to eat broken glass.
I have told just a few people who seemed to be seriously asking for advice that I logged every single thing I ate or drank that had calories; no exceptions. That's usually the end of it for most people. But if they stick with me, I tell them to use a calculator to figure out how many calories they burn each day and make sure they eat less than that with some variety to stay healthy. The most common reaction is that it's too hard to log everything.7 -
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I am now at the point where people are saying, "thats enough now, how much more do you want to loose?" I will tell them I want to loose another stone, "no, thats too much, you should stop!" I also find these people are often people who are on some form of fad diet themselves and havent stuck to it...9
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LOL I hear what you're saying. Lucky for me my husband is my champion and anytime someone comments about my weight or nutrition he chimes in and will say "Are you kidding me? she eats more than you and I both!" haha! In my case, I am a master licensed nutritionist, actual college and not an on-line course. I always have people first telling me what should be done, and what THEY do... and then I get the questions and some even fishing for free information or whatever. I'll never forget the "carb" conversation with a family member:
Her: "I am giving up carbs!"
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Because I need to lose weight I am tired of being fat"
Me: "Ok but carbs don't make you fat, too many calories do"
Her: "Oh ok, so I should eat only good carbs"
Me: "No, you should eat whatever kind of carbs you want but you would weigh, measure and log them"
Her: "Oh, but I don't eat a lot"
Me: "How do you know?"
Her: "I don't know"
Me: "Start tracking your calories to see how much you're consuming"
Her: "Ok, and I should give up carbs because they make you fat right"
Ugh... you get the idea....18 -
cushman5279 wrote: »LOL I hear what you're saying. Lucky for me my husband is my champion and anytime someone comments about my weight or nutrition he chimes in and will say "Are you kidding me? she eats more than you and I both!" haha! In my case, I am a master licensed nutritionist, actual college and not an on-line course. I always have people first telling me what should be done, and what THEY do... and then I get the questions and some even fishing for free information or whatever. I'll never forget the "carb" conversation with a family member:
Her: "I am giving up carbs!"
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Because I need to lose weight I am tired of being fat"
Me: "Ok but carbs don't make you fat, too many calories do"
Her: "Oh ok, so I should eat only good carbs"
Me: "No, you should eat whatever kind of carbs you want but you would weigh, measure and log them"
Her: "Oh, but I don't eat a lot"
Me: "How do you know?"
Her: "I don't know"
Me: "Start tracking your calories to see how much you're consuming"
Her: "Ok, and I should give up carbs because they make you fat right"
Ugh... you get the idea....
If carbs was a person, I'd pity on that person, it gets all the blame, it's not even funny. I don't know how it got to the point where a single macro gets all the bad reputation.10 -
Send those carbs to my house. I will show them some love. 😁10
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cushman5279 wrote: »LOL I hear what you're saying. Lucky for me my husband is my champion and anytime someone comments about my weight or nutrition he chimes in and will say "Are you kidding me? she eats more than you and I both!" haha! In my case, I am a master licensed nutritionist, actual college and not an on-line course. I always have people first telling me what should be done, and what THEY do... and then I get the questions and some even fishing for free information or whatever. I'll never forget the "carb" conversation with a family member:
Her: "I am giving up carbs!"
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Because I need to lose weight I am tired of being fat"
Me: "Ok but carbs don't make you fat, too many calories do"
Her: "Oh ok, so I should eat only good carbs"
Me: "No, you should eat whatever kind of carbs you want but you would weigh, measure and log them"
Her: "Oh, but I don't eat a lot"
Me: "How do you know?"
Her: "I don't know"
Me: "Start tracking your calories to see how much you're consuming"
Her: "Ok, and I should give up carbs because they make you fat right"
Ugh... you get the idea....
If carbs was a person, I'd pity on that person, it gets all the blame, it's not even funny. I don't know how it got to the point where a single macro gets all the bad reputation.
I think carbs are the younger sibling to sodium. They have such bad reputations, but unless you have a medical reason, there's nothing wrong with either. Also, I live in the West Texas desert (current temp at my house 101° in the shade) I drink 2-3 gallons of water a day because of the heat, I need to up my salt intake or I can get really sick.5 -
cushman5279 wrote: »LOL I hear what you're saying. Lucky for me my husband is my champion and anytime someone comments about my weight or nutrition he chimes in and will say "Are you kidding me? she eats more than you and I both!" haha! In my case, I am a master licensed nutritionist, actual college and not an on-line course. I always have people first telling me what should be done, and what THEY do... and then I get the questions and some even fishing for free information or whatever. I'll never forget the "carb" conversation with a family member:
Her: "I am giving up carbs!"
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Because I need to lose weight I am tired of being fat"
Me: "Ok but carbs don't make you fat, too many calories do"
Her: "Oh ok, so I should eat only good carbs"
Me: "No, you should eat whatever kind of carbs you want but you would weigh, measure and log them"
Her: "Oh, but I don't eat a lot"
Me: "How do you know?"
Her: "I don't know"
Me: "Start tracking your calories to see how much you're consuming"
Her: "Ok, and I should give up carbs because they make you fat right"
Ugh... you get the idea....
If carbs was a person, I'd pity on that person, it gets all the blame, it's not even funny. I don't know how it got to the point where a single macro gets all the bad reputation.
I think carbs are the younger sibling to sodium. They have such bad reputations, but unless you have a medical reason, there's nothing wrong with either. Also, I live in the West Texas desert (current temp at my house 101° in the shade) I drink 2-3 gallons of water a day because of the heat, I need to up my salt intake or I can get really sick.
I wonder if it has something to do with all the footballers in the 80's (at least here in Australia) talking about carbon loading the night before a match, then getting fat in retirement. I know as a kid before athletics, cross country or race walking days (so Friday or Saturday dinners) Dad always cooked us a big plate of spaghetti. We needed it as goodness knew what we would eat the next day. Of course now I need to eat more carbs due to the nature of my job, but my sister is most likely trying not to have so many.
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cushman5279 wrote: »LOL I hear what you're saying. Lucky for me my husband is my champion and anytime someone comments about my weight or nutrition he chimes in and will say "Are you kidding me? she eats more than you and I both!" haha! In my case, I am a master licensed nutritionist, actual college and not an on-line course. I always have people first telling me what should be done, and what THEY do... and then I get the questions and some even fishing for free information or whatever. I'll never forget the "carb" conversation with a family member:
Her: "I am giving up carbs!"
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Because I need to lose weight I am tired of being fat"
Me: "Ok but carbs don't make you fat, too many calories do"
Her: "Oh ok, so I should eat only good carbs"
Me: "No, you should eat whatever kind of carbs you want but you would weigh, measure and log them"
Her: "Oh, but I don't eat a lot"
Me: "How do you know?"
Her: "I don't know"
Me: "Start tracking your calories to see how much you're consuming"
Her: "Ok, and I should give up carbs because they make you fat right"
Ugh... you get the idea....
If carbs was a person, I'd pity on that person, it gets all the blame, it's not even funny. I don't know how it got to the point where a single macro gets all the bad reputation.
I think carbs are the younger sibling to sodium. They have such bad reputations, but unless you have a medical reason, there's nothing wrong with either. Also, I live in the West Texas desert (current temp at my house 101° in the shade) I drink 2-3 gallons of water a day because of the heat, I need to up my salt intake or I can get really sick.
I wonder if it has something to do with all the footballers in the 80's (at least here in Australia) talking about carbon loading the night before a match, then getting fat in retirement. I know as a kid before athletics, cross country or race walking days (so Friday or Saturday dinners) Dad always cooked us a big plate of spaghetti. We needed it as goodness knew what we would eat the next day. Of course now I need to eat more carbs due to the nature of my job, but my sister is most likely trying not to have so many.
It's probably because carbs & salt taste good, which often leads to overeating. Also, a lot of athletes end up getting fat because they still eat like they are athletes in training, yet no longer train like athletes.6 -
I think carbs are the younger sibling to sodium. They have such bad reputations, but unless you have a medical reason, there's nothing wrong with either. Also, I live in the West Texas desert (current temp at my house 101° in the shade) I drink 2-3 gallons of water a day because of the heat, I need to up my salt intake or I can get really sick.
Same here; desert dweller.
I already knew about the salt intake, but learned a valuable lesson the other Saturday. Was hiking and about 2 hours in, started to feel really punk. After some thought, "What is different from every other hike day?", realized that I hadn't had my usual Friday night (carbo loaded) end of the week celebration. No quick energy stores to access.
I hadn't even realized prior to this, that what I was essentially doing on Friday, was carb-loading for Saturday.
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Interesting reading the posts above, I generally find most people demonise fat over carbs, and the shops are full of 'low fat' options.1
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I'm surrounded by people who swear by keto... I've had people say I'll never lose weight/express surprise that I was still losing weight "because I eat fruit/carbs" ... funniest thing was when one of these comments came from someone who'd just watched me drop 20+ lbs (about 3 dress sizes, so very visible), because, shock, I was eating a banana as my morning snack
also, people who don't understand more volume does not necessarily correspond to more calories... my big salad with chicken is NOT gonna make me gain weight, thanks, it's a lot lower in calories than that persons serving of meat and pasta10 -
netitheyeti wrote: »I'm surrounded by people who swear by keto... I've had people say I'll never lose weight/express surprise that I was still losing weight "because I eat fruit/carbs" ... funniest thing was when one of these comments came from someone who'd just watched me drop 20+ lbs (about 3 dress sizes, so very visible), because, shock, I was eating a banana as my morning snack
also, people who don't understand more volume does not necessarily correspond to more calories... my big salad with chicken is NOT gonna make me gain weight, thanks, it's a lot lower in calories than that persons serving of meat and pasta
I tried to explain that to my colleagues at work, but they didn't believe me and yet I am the only one at my job who is able to lose weight when I want....and gain weight when I want (cut and bulk basically). You would think they would believe someone who has actually done the deed vs those who have always struggled with their weight all their life....yet people tend to believe that person who struggles with their weight that carbs are bad. That's like asking financial advice to one who has his *kitten* together and the other who has huge debts, everyone ends up listening to the advice of the broke person.7 -
There is no one side fits all. That is why govt guidelines and conventional wisdom are wrong most of the time. Gov't always demands a single solution. That Feed's into what passes for conventional wisdom.
Do what works and is sustainable for you.5 -
My standard answer to "How did you lose weight?" is: I eat less than I used to. If I am then asked what I eat, I say "what I like and am not allergic to, just less than I used to. There is no magic pill."5
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cushman5279 wrote: »LOL I hear what you're saying. Lucky for me my husband is my champion and anytime someone comments about my weight or nutrition he chimes in and will say "Are you kidding me? she eats more than you and I both!" haha! In my case, I am a master licensed nutritionist, actual college and not an on-line course. I always have people first telling me what should be done, and what THEY do... and then I get the questions and some even fishing for free information or whatever. I'll never forget the "carb" conversation with a family member:
Her: "I am giving up carbs!"
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Because I need to lose weight I am tired of being fat"
Me: "Ok but carbs don't make you fat, too many calories do"
Her: "Oh ok, so I should eat only good carbs"
Me: "No, you should eat whatever kind of carbs you want but you would weigh, measure and log them"
Her: "Oh, but I don't eat a lot"
Me: "How do you know?"
Her: "I don't know"
Me: "Start tracking your calories to see how much you're consuming"
Her: "Ok, and I should give up carbs because they make you fat right"
Ugh... you get the idea....
Made me LOL!
I had a conversation with a friend about weight loss.
Her: Of course, I have to cut out carbs, but it's so challenging.
Me: I lost 50+ pounds over the last couple of years, and I still eat a couple of hundred grams of carbs every day.
Her: I just can't lose weight without cutting carbs. It's impossible. It's the insulin.
Me: But I just did it, I just started eating the right number of calories.
Her: No, it's impossible unless you cut carbs. Over the Winter, I read all the books, and they all say so.
Me (in my head): So, over the Winter, you read all the books, and I lost the last 20 pounds. You're still overweight, I'm not, but you know more, 'cos books. Mmmm-K.
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Interesting reading the posts above, I generally find most people demonise fat over carbs, and the shops are full of 'low fat' options.
Where do you live? Here in the US, low carbohydrate has been the preferred diet method since the Atkins craze of the late 1990s. In fact, ketogenic diets (which are prioritize fat) are probably the trendiest thing in the fitness community right now.3
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