What's with the diet shaming?

135

Replies

  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,343 Member
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    rgg71 wrote: »
    Interesting reading the posts above, I generally find most people demonise fat over carbs, and the shops are full of 'low fat' options.

    Where do you live? Here in the US, low carbohydrate has been the preferred diet method since the Atkins craze of the late 1990s. In fact, ketogenic diets (which are prioritize fat) are probably the trendiest thing in the fitness community right now.

    Right. I think low fat went out of style in the '80s here in the US. Keto and IF is the big fad now.
  • Alidecker
    Alidecker Posts: 1,262 Member
    AnvilHead wrote: »
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    rgg71 wrote: »
    Interesting reading the posts above, I generally find most people demonise fat over carbs, and the shops are full of 'low fat' options.

    Where do you live? Here in the US, low carbohydrate has been the preferred diet method since the Atkins craze of the late 1990s. In fact, ketogenic diets (which are prioritize fat) are probably the trendiest thing in the fitness community right now.

    Right. I think low fat went out of style in the '80s here in the US. Keto and IF is the big fad now.

    I kinda miss the low fat craze, then people didn't give me looks when eating pasta :)

    I haven't gotten much shaming, but for a while I was getting "When are you going to end your diet?". Usually at work while eating lunch. Explaining that if I go back to how I used to eat I was going to gain the weight back happened once, then I just said probably never.
  • VUA21
    VUA21 Posts: 2,072 Member
    HeyJudii wrote: »
    VUA21 wrote: »
    I think carbs are the younger sibling to sodium. They have such bad reputations, but unless you have a medical reason, there's nothing wrong with either. Also, I live in the West Texas desert (current temp at my house 101° in the shade) I drink 2-3 gallons of water a day because of the heat, I need to up my salt intake or I can get really sick.

    Same here; desert dweller.
    I already knew about the salt intake, but learned a valuable lesson the other Saturday. Was hiking and about 2 hours in, started to feel really punk. After some thought, "What is different from every other hike day?", realized that I hadn't had my usual Friday night (carbo loaded) end of the week celebration. No quick energy stores to access.

    I hadn't even realized prior to this, that what I was essentially doing on Friday, was carb-loading for Saturday.

    That's why I have mini packs of gummy bears with me at the gym and carry one in my "phone pouch" in my running tights when I go for my long runs. Sometimes the heat gets to you and you do need that carb rush. Living in the desert is a whole different ball game when it comes to a lot of micro/macros simply because of the extreme heat and arid conditions. Also, I never realized that SPF 100 was hard to find for most people, as all the stores near me generally have entire aisles dedicated to various sunblocks year-round.
  • CarvedTones
    CarvedTones Posts: 2,340 Member
    VUA21 wrote: »
    CarvedTones wrote: »
    AmberGlitterSparkles wrote: »
    melichalupa wrote: »
    I might be late to this conversation but.... I recently have had some Mfp folks do some “diet shaming” and the New York in me wanted to check the heck outta them and then I thought that most people say and do things that they feel they have control over-the particular person that spoke out of turn about my choice to go heavy vegetable eating for a few days to just help my tummy and intestinal issues felt the need to say that I am following a “quack”. I mean really? Could this just be a keyboard bully that feels that she has control over other’s choices? I don’t know-I think I might block her later on today.
    I am happy to be around positive happy people that are doing them in this struggle-I am proud of you.

    Girl, you are not the only one! I almost stopped posting here after I was made to feel like garbage on the first thread I posted asking for help. I was either gonna leave, or snap on someone and get myself banned so I chose to take the high road and just let the whole thread die. Thankfully, I have found a lot of really nice people on here that prove that those types of people are not the majority. Feel free to add me! We can motivate each other with out being a holes.

    I let myself get pulled down to their level sometimes and go toe to toe. I know I shouldn't, but...

    From the other side, I try to avoid posting to plateau or "gaining when I should be losing" threads because it's hard to walk that tight rope between questioning and accusing and I don't want to come across as a bully. Some people have less compassion and dive right in pointing out the most likely problem (consuming more than what's logged). But that's not always the problem and even if it is, a lot people are doing it without realizing it.

    When I joined mfp, I was in free-fall on a unsustainable very low calorie diet. I posted about my success expecting pats on the back and didn't get a single one. I got hammered about how unhealthy it was. I learned that they were right. I lost some muscle and it took some effort to get it back.

    I get slammed a lot about eating a lot of natural sugar from a cane that grows in the tropics or a yellow grain grown in much of the US. :) Never mind that I lost 65 pounds, have been in maintenance for 4 months and I am fitter than I have been in decades.

    I get slammed for the amount of evil processed food in my diet. 1) I lost more than I weigh and am the healthiest I've been in nearly 20 years, so my diet is obviously working for me 2) unless someone is willing to come to my house and cook for me, they get no say in what I can or cannot eat (with the exception of my doctor).

    The whole "help, plateau" thing. I just try to be supportive, I'm currently stuck between 170-173 for the past two weeks and it's no big deal as I've have a bazillion plateaus and unexpected weight gains.

    Yeah, to me "eating clean" means going with maybe only 3 seconds instead of the 5 second rule. :) I eat a fair amount of processed food also. I quit considering only two or three weeks as a plateau after it happened a couple of times but looking across a couple of months, the calorie math for weight loss was pretty accurate. I didn't/don't use a trending app, so a lot of my plateaus were from accepting a low spike (probably dehydrated) as my new weight.
  • AmberGlitterSparkles
    AmberGlitterSparkles Posts: 699 Member
    edited July 2018
    CarvedTones wrote: »
    AmberGlitterSparkles wrote: »
    melichalupa wrote: »
    I might be late to this conversation but.... I recently have had some Mfp folks do some “diet shaming” and the New York in me wanted to check the heck outta them and then I thought that most people say and do things that they feel they have control over-the particular person that spoke out of turn about my choice to go heavy vegetable eating for a few days to just help my tummy and intestinal issues felt the need to say that I am following a “quack”. I mean really? Could this just be a keyboard bully that feels that she has control over other’s choices? I don’t know-I think I might block her later on today.
    I am happy to be around positive happy people that are doing them in this struggle-I am proud of you.

    Girl, you are not the only one! I almost stopped posting here after I was made to feel like garbage on the first thread I posted asking for help. I was either gonna leave, or snap on someone and get myself banned so I chose to take the high road and just let the whole thread die. Thankfully, I have found a lot of really nice people on here that prove that those types of people are not the majority. Feel free to add me! We can motivate each other with out being a holes.

    I let myself get pulled down to their level sometimes and go toe to toe. I know I shouldn't, but...

    From the other side, I try to avoid posting to plateau or "gaining when I should be losing" threads because it's hard to walk that tight rope between questioning and accusing and I don't want to come across as a bully. Some people have less compassion and dive right in pointing out the most likely problem (consuming more than what's logged). But that's not always the problem and even if it is, a lot people are doing it without realizing it.

    When I joined mfp, I was in free-fall on a unsustainable very low calorie diet. I posted about my success expecting pats on the back and didn't get a single one. I got hammered about how unhealthy it was. I learned that they were right. I lost some muscle and it took some effort to get it back.

    I get slammed a lot about eating a lot of natural sugar from a cane that grows in the tropics or a yellow grain grown in much of the US. :) Never mind that I lost 65 pounds, have been in maintenance for 4 months and I am fitter than I have been in decades.

    I read the majority of the thread here even though I don’t always chime in. Often times, I feel too new at this to really offer advise to someone else. I have never seen you say something that came off in that way. I agree there’s a fine line with some of these conversations. However, there’s a huge difference between trying to ride a line, and just flat out being mean. I can certainly handle constructive criticism, even when it’s something that I don’t want to hear. I deal with it all the time. However, I feel like it’s pretty common sense, that most people with a weight problem are probably pretty self conscious about that weight problem. If they are here, then they have made a step in the right direction, and are trying to do something about it. They should be treated that way, and not like they are some lying slob whose sitting on the couch binge eating and lying about what their intake is. Maybe they are, but it’s not right to assume, and it’s not right to treat someone like that when they obviously want to better themselves. Some of the post I have seen from other people are equvelant to yelling “run fat boy run” from a car window at the guy jogging down the street. Why would you demean someone who is making an effort to change. Please do not think that because I’m replying to you that I mean any of this against you, because as I have seen you have never been anything but nice, just my general thoughts on the conversation.
  • 130annie
    130annie Posts: 339 Member
    This reminds me of a WW meeting years ago. I happened to say I'd had a 1/4 cup of gravy... well! the response..You'd have thought the sky had fallen... Now I say nothing...
  • AmberGlitterSparkles
    AmberGlitterSparkles Posts: 699 Member
    nvmomketo wrote: »
    AmberGlitterSparkles wrote: »
    melichalupa wrote: »
    I might be late to this conversation but.... I recently have had some Mfp folks do some “diet shaming” and the New York in me wanted to check the heck outta them and then I thought that most people say and do things that they feel they have control over-the particular person that spoke out of turn about my choice to go heavy vegetable eating for a few days to just help my tummy and intestinal issues felt the need to say that I am following a “quack”. I mean really? Could this just be a keyboard bully that feels that she has control over other’s choices? I don’t know-I think I might block her later on today.
    I am happy to be around positive happy people that are doing them in this struggle-I am proud of you.

    Girl, you are not the only one! I almost stopped posting here after I was made to feel like garbage on the first thread I posted asking for help. I was either gonna leave, or snap on someone and get myself banned so I chose to take the high road and just let the whole thread die. Thankfully, I have found a lot of really nice people on here that prove that those types of people are not the majority. Feel free to add me! We can motivate each other with out being a holes.

    I think some people just aren't aware how brashly they come off... At least I hope they are unaware. ;) I don't think they realize that saying,

    "I disagree with your approach because of a, b, c."

    Might be more effective than,

    " What a bunch of woo. The So-and-so approach won't be magic. Mr Diet is just peddling the next scam to the mindless masses. All you need to do is a, b, c. Period."

    Some believe they need (what I see as rude or brash) bluntness to get through to every body. It works for some. Some, like me, find it distracting and unpleasant. After a time, you'll discover what posts to skip, and what members to block. ;) Just like in real life - there are people and situations I avoid there too.... I do find diet shaming much more common on MFPand other places on the web than I do in real life. People in my life may discuss diet with interest or concern. And tact. The people on the webz don't care for you the same, or at all. JMO
    100% agree with everything you have said. Honestly, for the most part, I have been met with nothing but niceness irl about my diet. I do Welcome tips from other people. That doesn’t bother me, I think all of it has been constructive. I have never had a moment where I thought someone was talking down the way I was doing it etc. but people do get much more bold behind the safety of a screen. However, I really do hope that they don’t realize they are being hurtful, and that it’s not intentional.
  • rgg71
    rgg71 Posts: 31 Member
    AnvilHead wrote: »
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    rgg71 wrote: »
    Interesting reading the posts above, I generally find most people demonise fat over carbs, and the shops are full of 'low fat' options.

    Where do you live? Here in the US, low carbohydrate has been the preferred diet method since the Atkins craze of the late 1990s. In fact, ketogenic diets (which are prioritize fat) are probably the trendiest thing in the fitness community right now.

    Right. I think low fat went out of style in the '80s here in the US. Keto and IF is the big fad now.

    Hi, I live in the UK and have been LCHF (<30g carbs) for around 10 months (and 40 lbs)
    I suppose my point would be that on this thread, subject of 'whats with the diet shaming' there are a plenty of folk diet shaming!
  • 100_PROOF_
    100_PROOF_ Posts: 1,168 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    AmberGlitterSparkles wrote: »
    melichalupa wrote: »
    I might be late to this conversation but.... I recently have had some Mfp folks do some “diet shaming” and the New York in me wanted to check the heck outta them and then I thought that most people say and do things that they feel they have control over-the particular person that spoke out of turn about my choice to go heavy vegetable eating for a few days to just help my tummy and intestinal issues felt the need to say that I am following a “quack”. I mean really? Could this just be a keyboard bully that feels that she has control over other’s choices? I don’t know-I think I might block her later on today.
    I am happy to be around positive happy people that are doing them in this struggle-I am proud of you.

    Girl, you are not the only one! I almost stopped posting here after I was made to feel like garbage on the first thread I posted asking for help. I was either gonna leave, or snap on someone and get myself banned so I chose to take the high road and just let the whole thread die. Thankfully, I have found a lot of really nice people on here that prove that those types of people are not the majority. Feel free to add me! We can motivate each other with out being a holes.

    Are you talking about this thread?

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10676598/advice/p1

    I don't see where anyone suggested you are "some lying slob whose sitting on the couch binge eating and lying about what their intake is" (your words from your next post).

    Agreed.


    A lot of people seem to read into things that aren't there. They take things the wrong way.

    Communication though message boards is much different than real life. In real life you can see someones facial expressions and see that they are being cheerful, snarky, sad and such. It's much different on a message board and some people seem to take things the wrong way and read into things that aren't there. They may be assuming that a member is being condescending when in reality they're not. Some people are putting emotions places that they don't belong and getting hurt over things that where never intended on being hurtful.


    Sometimes it's hard to decipher so I think it's best to take things with a grain of salt.
    It's just a message board after all. How can some anonymous stranger online hurt my feelings when they don't know me? They can't. I take the information that is useful and disregard the rest. No feelings involved.
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