JUST FOR TODAY ....... One day at a time ..... Daily Commitment Thread for 2018

Canada Day here today and I spent it with the Grands at a parade and some activities in town. It was so nice, I only spent $7.00 all day! I’m going to the fireworks with my girls tonight.

It's a long one! Does anyone ever have a day that is completely planned, and then gets just totally derailed? That was my day. My bestie and I had hiking plans, but due to the torrential downpour over the entire midwest, we had to go with an indoor board game marathon. When everything got figured out, I ended up at her house for lunch, which meant I had to eat healthy on the fly! (enter scary face here!). I did well, picking lean lunchmeat and mustard over ham and mayo, and loading up on the veggies-huzzah! The plans change set my day way back, and I got home at 8 from groceries and errands. I actually felt ready to workout after spending the whole day on my tuckus, so I hopped on the stationary bike for a half hour. It's amazing how GOOD exercise is starting to feel. Now to comment on some awesome posts!

@PackerFanInGB I have a motivation board up in my bedroom (prolly 2'x3') FILLED with photos to motivate me towards healthy habits! I love your signs and I think great minds think alike
@mytime6630 that quilt is absolutely GORGEOUS! I can see all the hard work you put into it, and it looks just amazing. You should be so very proud.
@snowflake1968 those grandbabies are just the cutest!

Okay, now that social time is out of the way here's my goals checkin:
Meal plan and grocery shop ✅
Budget-nope
Finish bullet journal setup for July-nope, maybe finish Wed. on the day off?
Weigh-in and POST ✅
30 minutes exercise ✅
Meet 1200 net calories, counting exercise-was a LITTLE under still.
Track food and exercise ✅
Water challenge-80 oz. ✅-day 31/60
July challenge:The nite before you go to bed, PLAN your next days meal. ✅-I realized I'm using a meal plan so this might be a too-easy July goal for me
Post here for accountability ✅

For tomorrow (late day so I'm keeping it simple):
House chores
30 minutes exercise
Meet 1200 net calories, counting exercise
Track food and exercise
Water challenge-80 oz.
BED BY 10!
Post here for accountability

Weigh in:
Week 0: 190
Week 1: 187.6
Week 2: 187.8-the dreaded week 2! Somehow I just knew it wasn't going to budge much. After a brief wallow, I gave myself a solid pep talk. I've definitely been feeling better, more energized and focused. I went from 0 daily activity to usually 45 minutes per day, so I know I'm building muscle which weighs more. This week I am focusing on the solid habits I'm forming, and the great progress I've made so far with choices. Moving forward!

Bex953172 wrote: »

Okay so not done the best today either, but also not done bad.
Up until after dinner I had everything logged and I have about 150 calories left

Then a went on a snacking spree, sooooo probably a couple hundred over now, but I have spend a lot of the day cleaning. Oh and PUTTING THE LAUNDRY AWAY *crowd cheers*
So even if I AM over, i won’t be massively over.


I’m just so tired, I feel run down.

Here’s my problem.
I go to sleep late, I know I do. Between 11pm and 1am. Normally just after midnight though.
So then I’m up six with the girls. All 3 of them.
On nursery days I stay up. On non nursery days I probably get another nap on the sofa whilst they watch tv, a disturbed nap but a nap at least.

The day goes on, we either go out or if we’re in I do try keep the place tidy. The kitchen really is my nemesis. Our dishwasher is being poop and I can’t figure out why. It does clean things but then one random item will be completely dirty still and sometimes there’s just “grit” on most of the other stuff especially the glasses.
So I feel defeated, I have to take it out, hand wash the things that didn’t quite get clean enough, then yesterday I go so fed up of it happening I pulled out all the drawers, re did the salt, the rinse aid, cleaned the filter, cleaned the spinners. Scrubbed the walls of the dishwasher and the seals. Sparkling. Loaded the dishwasher stuck it on. Same thing this morning.

So the day goes, as it goes, dinner comes along, this is where it gets tricky. I get pestered the whole time I’m doing tea, mostly by the girls. So then when I’m getting pestered I’m not cleaning as I’m going, it’s also sometimes the exact time Casey wants feeding so I’ll put tea on a low heat, feed her bottle, go back and whack the heat up and continue as normal. Anyway so after tea the kitchen is a mess. There’s food on the floor from the girls pots everywhere. Still not emptied the dishwasher because I just couldn’t face the dirty pots when I spent so long cleaning the damn thing last night.
Then it’s shower and bed for the girls. CNt even do baths anymore because they take too long!
Hair brushed, teeth brushed, cream on for eczema, PJs, hugs and kisses, no time for a story, like ever. And by the time I’m so worn out I haven’t got it in me. I feel awful about this but what can I do.

By the time I’ve done that I just want to get in bed. But instead I come down stairs. Look at the mess, feel overwhelmed and just sit down. I feel tired looking at it! Like “hit by a train” kind of tired.

Now seeing as I’m the “baby” of this group, please can some give me some wisdom on where I’m messing up here lol!!
Where am I going wrong to make my life easier?
My OH does help sometimes but it’s not something I want to ask him to help with because he does so much for me!
Soooo yeah. What can I do to make this easier and so I can get the kitchen clean without dying of exhaustion.

Boy o boy, I remember those days! With four children and the fact that we homeschooled we were together quite a bit, lol!

First let me say You are doing so fantabulously well. Being a mom has lovely moments but in between those times it is a time of chaos, tears, frustration, feeling completely inadequate, not liking your kids very much, to feeling guilty because you're not liking your kids very much, to thinking as my Mom jokingly asked me one day when she had come out to help me, "Shall I just put a broom up my rear and sweep while I cook?!!" We laughed so hard. It's hard; you've got to be on call and at the ready.

Also, this is long...well what did you expect, coming from me. Why write it in three words when you can write it in 103?, lolol

So be at your healthiest (a regret of mine---and one that you are slaying big time). Get into a bedtime routine for yourself. Get the kids in a good bedtime routine so that you have a bit of time to yourself. Make dates with your partner if your folks are willing to watch the kiddos. And get your kids in a daily routine. And be ready to be flexible when necessary yet stay on the routine as much as possible. I will repeat this throughout I'm sure, but children need routine, boundaries, and to know what is expected of them.

When I implemented the following life was so much smoother and more joyful for everyone. Of course there will be circumstances that blow a big ol nasty hole in your plans but you can't modify a plan if you don't have one, right?

Be consistent. If it's not allowed today, it's not allowed tomorrow.
I tried to implement things that would lead to a peaceful environment such as...

I would give our kids pep talks before entering a place in public (store, church, etc). I would tell them how I expected them to behave. If we were going to a store they were trained (yes it's training) to not ask for anything at the check out line. They knew that they were not getting a toy when we went to the store...those dollar toys add up and they create clutter. (If there were free cookies at the bakery we would go by there last if they had been cooperative. Or sometimes I'd buy a small box of cookies to share amongst themselves...but not all the time...so then it was a huge treat)

No begging. If they asked for something or to do something and the answer was no, that was it. I tried to ask questions before saying no, when feasible, or if there was a possibility of it being a yes then I would say let me consider it. But if they begged "pleeeeeease....pleeeease" they knew it was an automatic no. I recall a friend of my daughter's asking me if A could spend the night with her. She looked up at me with her puppy dog eyes and started with a "pleee" and A just about knocked her to the ground trying to get her to stop,lol!

A consistent bedtime...I failed at this too much and I think it's so important. It's a routine. Children do better with routines and boundaries. But it would fluctuate between one hour to the next.

I never played games with being disobedient. If I asked them to come to me and they started to run (as you see little children do with big smiles on their faces as mom is dashing after them) they would get a leg swatted. I never played chased with them (unless they knew it was "tag".) Why? Because if I saw danger (a car, etc) headed their way I wanted them trained to hear my voice (or whomever was in authority) and obey. You rarely get do-overs when a bus runs over you. (I recall a bee landing on my child's cheek. I calmly but with a serious voice said, "Do not move." And he was like a statue. He didn't get stung and I was able to gently get the bee moving on.

Have pick up times before meals and bedtime. "It's time for lunch. Please pick up your toys and put them where they belong. Then wash your hands and come to the table." We usually had 4pm pick up time. All of us would scurry around and pick up, put away, straighten pillows on the couch, and just tidy. It would have to be done again before bedtime, but it wasn't as much.

At dinner (tea) time, you might consider setting them around the table and color and listen to a story on your computer (not watch, but listen). Tell them ahead of time what they are going to do and that you expect them to sit at the table while you prepare dinner. You know where they are. They are calming down a bit. And you can tend to the meal and Casey. But again give them your expectations of behavior and then thank them profusely when they do what you ask...smile smile smile...maybe have a game in mind and say, "Since you helped me by sitting quietly we will play a game after dinner." Brag on them to your partner at the dinner table.

(btw, it helps me to have a sink of sudsy water when I cook, then i wash and rinse and put on the towel to dry as I go a long...this makes for less clean up--or rinse and put in dishwasher----)

We made it the norm to eat meals at the table. This was when manners were gently taught (sometimes with a game whomever says please and thank you, or keeps elbows off the table, etc., gets to choose a silly song we shall all sing while marching around the table after dinner (which is fun to see Dad do, eh!) Sometimes I'd read a chapter in a book after eating. Craig read stories about Paul Bunyan (a fabled logger with a blue ox!) and the kids still refer to those stories to this day.

Practice kindness and joy and respect, etc. This is so hard to do when you're frazzled and at wits end. But I think having the above in practice does help. Routine and boundaries help the frazzled mom.

Every child had a job from the time they could crawl...("Put the blocks a way with Mom, A, you are in charge of getting J's clothes for tomorrow" ) Our two year old would help move the clothes from the dryer to the washer by handing them to me (here's your yellow shirt. Here's A's blue sock, etc.) A 1 year old can put plastic containers in a drawer (I didn't care how they looked, lol) A young one can sort the silverware from the dishwasher to the drawers. Your oldest can set the table, etc. They were taught that a family works together...it takes every one. I would tell them the baby helps gives us smiles and laughs.

By the age of 4 the children would take their plate to the sink, toss the napkins in the trash, and help clear the table. If they went to a friend's home, I would remind them to do this and to say thank you. It teaches them to help others. Later they would put the dishes in the dishwasher.

There are age appropriate chore charts on google. We didn't pay our children for the basic chores but we had jobs that they could earn a bit of money for. I did praise praise praise them when they did the chore. BUT one thing I greatly regret is I think I sometimes took the fun out of the chore, wanting it done "just so." A child needs to learn to do his best but there's a balance that I think I too often missed. There were times when we'd make a game out of it...let's see if we can beat the clock, or matching all the socks and folding them up into each other and then everyone hide behind a couch or chair and have a sock war before putting them away. But I just as clearly remember showing dissatisfaction when the bathroom counter had a smudge of toothpaste and asking them to clean it again. If it's blatant and sloppy that's different. I guess I'm saying I should have shown more grace.

But, I do recall, when we lived in Belgium, the youngest was 11. We had three living with us (oldest was in the US attending school). It was a small home and another family visiting us...there were 11 of us in a 1.5 bathroom/ 3 bedroom house, for ten days lol! I was cooking supper and looked out and saw that the house really needed some attention. I called out, "I need you to stop what you are doing and do a fifteen minute clean up. I need bathrooms cleaned, floors swept, towels washed, and items put away, please." Our friend's mouth literally fell open as my kids immediately began calling out the chores they wanted and then of course the other kids paired up with them." He said, "How'd you do that?" I just laughed...I think it again goes back to being consistent and they knew that as soon as they were done they could resume their fun. They didn't always do this when they were younger...but by the time they were all older it was just routine. (we still battled messy rooms, dishes out, etc...I'm just saying the training when they were younger paid off as they were older)

It's exhausting work. Notice I said at the beginning, "when I implemented the following." Some days were utter failures. I cried. I'm sad to say I yelled. But when I did my job of being the trainer, the mominator, it was a joyful, albeit tiring day. (and I was quick to say, "I'm sorry." I'm sorry I yelled, I shouldn't have done that." "I'm sorry, I have not kept to our routine. That's my fault, but we are going to start back up right now."

I will tell you another regret I had...being on the computer too much of the day. I am so grateful I just now got a smart phone. It would have been horrible to have had one back them. Engage. engage. engage. When you are at the park, or at the grocery store, or during bath time, or at the dinner table, or going for a walk, put the darn electronic away. Life is so short. And my kids were so much more important than a stupid news story, or an email I just had to get out right then and there, or even looking online for school related stuff. It could have all waited until they were in bed, or to set a time during the day when I would have a look...how many times did I say, "I'll just have a quick look and then get off...and an hour later..." That is probably my biggest regret, because it threw off the rest of the day. Because I wasn't teaching my kids discipline and moderation. Because at too often I put a chunk of plastic before my kids. UGH

They are all grown now. They are enjoyable to be around (mostly!). They are their own person. They don't always do what we think they should be but that's their choice to make now. Our job was to teach/train our children to be respectful, considerate, helpful citizens of the world. And it truly starts at home. I'm visiting one of them right now while he and his dad build a deck together. Late Saturday another child picked us up at the airport and he and I stayed up until 2am chatting and sharing. Lovely time. And despite all the mistakes I made, my kids still turned out okay.

BTW, When life was hectic, I made a two week meal chart. And I'd rotate back and forth, from week one to week 2 back to week one, etc. Grocery shopping was easier as I could pretty much use the same list, I could actually double amounts sometimes and freeze food for two weeks later, etc. I just couldn't deal with much more than that and a list/plan was so helpful.

Again, you are doing great...some of these tips may be beneficial and most may not, what I struggled with, may very well be a breeze for you. Don't forget what the end goal is with your kids---besides coming out of this alive, lol. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to find/obtain peace and joy at your season..but it's there. You bring a lot of joy and encouragement to this group. You make such a tremendous effort with your children. I marvel at how you get the kids to the nursery---on foot. Wowie zowie woman. And you get supper done. And baths. And the laundry And you spend fun time with them. You labored over that poopy patio last year so that your kids could be kids and have a place to play outside. You are the MOMINATOR!

Okay my book is done, lol! Onward!

Yesterday's commitments:

- Log everything I eat
- Stick to food plan I had a little ice cream that I didn't plan, but not much... And resisted crisps that my cousin brought round
- 4 bottles water
- Go for run
- French podcast, article, Duolingo, book
- Do French revision Decided to chill out instead
- Read paper Decided to chill out instead

July challenge: For me it works better to plan in the morning - I've got into the habit of doing it on my morning commute as it's reliable free time (whereas my evenings vary quite a lot). So let's say I have to do this by the end of breakfast every day.
July 1st: Done
July 2nd: Done

Today's commitments:

- Log everything I eat
- Stick to food plan
- 4 bottles water
- Go to gym

- French podcast, article, Duolingo, book
- Talk to boyfriend in French
- Sort emails
- Do weekly food shop
- Do washing
- Buy friend's birthday present
- Do French revision
- Quick check on finances
- Plan when to do other items on to-do

Falcon wrote: »

I'm starting over again and it's depressing. I need support badly

I lost my career job almost a year ago, had to adjust to a completely new schedule which makes it difficult for me to socialize because its a straight midnight shift. All I've done was continue to gain all 50 pounds back

I'm tired all the time and just need to find some way to get back on track.

I'm so badly out of shape, my right foot and calf is swelling like crazy. I think getting 10 pounds off by the end of this month will help with the swelling

Working nights can be killer because you're so tired and your body thinks it needs more energy so you crave food. It's not easy. When I was working overnights, I prepped most of my food on my days off so I didn't have to think about it during my workweek. I made soups and chilis and froze them in single serving packages with the calories already determined. I always saved an apple for the end of my shift and ate it in the car before my drive home. That way I would already have something in my stomach when I walked in the door and would resist snacking on everything while I microwaved my dinner. And breakfast was always super simple too: microwaved oatmeal or a banana smoothie.

It definitely takes more will when you're on an unusual shift like that, but I believe in you and will be happy to help you in any way I can! Feel free to message or friend me if you like.

Edit to add: how cool that you befriended a chipmunk!

jeschepp wrote: »

It's a long one! Does anyone ever have a day that is completely planned, and then gets just totally derailed? That was my day. My bestie and I had hiking plans, but due to the torrential downpour over the entire midwest, we had to go with an indoor board game marathon. When everything got figured out, I ended up at her house for lunch, which meant I had to eat healthy on the fly! (enter scary face here!). I did well, picking lean lunchmeat and mustard over ham and mayo, and loading up on the veggies-huzzah! The plans change set my day way back, and I got home at 8 from groceries and errands. I actually felt ready to workout after spending the whole day on my tuckus, so I hopped on the stationary bike for a half hour. It's amazing how GOOD exercise is starting to feel. Now to comment on some awesome posts!

@PackerFanInGB I have a motivation board up in my bedroom (prolly 2'x3') FILLED with photos to motivate me towards healthy habits! I love your signs and I think great minds think alike
@mytime6630 that quilt is absolutely GORGEOUS! I can see all the hard work you put into it, and it looks just amazing. You should be so very proud.
@snowflake1968 those grandbabies are just the cutest!

Okay, now that social time is out of the way here's my goals checkin:
Meal plan and grocery shop ✅
Budget-nope
Finish bullet journal setup for July-nope, maybe finish Wed. on the day off?
Weigh-in and POST ✅
30 minutes exercise ✅
Meet 1200 net calories, counting exercise-was a LITTLE under still.
Track food and exercise ✅
Water challenge-80 oz. ✅-day 31/60
July challenge:The nite before you go to bed, PLAN your next days meal. ✅-I realized I'm using a meal plan so this might be a too-easy July goal for me
Post here for accountability ✅

For tomorrow (late day so I'm keeping it simple):
House chores
30 minutes exercise
Meet 1200 net calories, counting exercise
Track food and exercise
Water challenge-80 oz.
BED BY 10!
Post here for accountability

Weigh in:
Week 0: 190
Week 1: 187.6
Week 2: 187.8-the dreaded week 2! Somehow I just knew it wasn't going to budge much. After a brief wallow, I gave myself a solid pep talk. I've definitely been feeling better, more energized and focused. I went from 0 daily activity to usually 45 minutes per day, so I know I'm building muscle which weighs more. This week I am focusing on the solid habits I'm forming, and the great progress I've made so far with choices. Moving forward!

It looks to me like you did well with a "derailed" day! You didn't get a hike in that would have allowed for more food, you had to choose different food on the fly and you still stayed within goal! I call that a WIN