JUST FOR TODAY ....... One day at a time ..... Daily Commitment Thread for 2018

Bex953172 wrote: »

@toaljasa
LOL that post was so long I had to stop midway, take Saskia to nursery and finish it when I got back!!
I love everything you’ve said! You’ve really sussed out how to be a good mum!
I’m definitely trying some of your ideas!

Chore chart is definitely one!
I might do a story at the dinner table. After they’ve ate enough and been good.
Ooo yes I’m loving the ideas!!
Gonna be a busy Mum today! Lol changing up the routine to a better one!

nickssweetheart wrote: »

nickssweetheart wrote: »

Just For Sunday:

1. Log everything I eat and stay under goal. Succumbed to the siren call of potato chips.
2. No fast food!
3. Physical therapy morning and evening.
4. Drink 10 glasses of water.
5. Yoga routine and short walk. Walk was a win, but not the yoga routine.
6. Grocery shopping
7. Kitchen closed and brush teeth by 9 pm. Fell asleep!

Just For Today Monday:

1. Adhere to food plan.
2. No fast food!
3. Physical therapy morning and evening.
4. Drink 10 glasses of water
5. Yoga routine

toaljasa wrote: »

Bex953172 wrote: »

Okay so not done the best today either, but also not done bad.
Up until after dinner I had everything logged and I have about 150 calories left

Then a went on a snacking spree, sooooo probably a couple hundred over now, but I have spend a lot of the day cleaning. Oh and PUTTING THE LAUNDRY AWAY *crowd cheers*
So even if I AM over, i won’t be massively over.


I’m just so tired, I feel run down.

Here’s my problem.
I go to sleep late, I know I do. Between 11pm and 1am. Normally just after midnight though.
So then I’m up six with the girls. All 3 of them.
On nursery days I stay up. On non nursery days I probably get another nap on the sofa whilst they watch tv, a disturbed nap but a nap at least.

The day goes on, we either go out or if we’re in I do try keep the place tidy. The kitchen really is my nemesis. Our dishwasher is being poop and I can’t figure out why. It does clean things but then one random item will be completely dirty still and sometimes there’s just “grit” on most of the other stuff especially the glasses.
So I feel defeated, I have to take it out, hand wash the things that didn’t quite get clean enough, then yesterday I go so fed up of it happening I pulled out all the drawers, re did the salt, the rinse aid, cleaned the filter, cleaned the spinners. Scrubbed the walls of the dishwasher and the seals. Sparkling. Loaded the dishwasher stuck it on. Same thing this morning.

So the day goes, as it goes, dinner comes along, this is where it gets tricky. I get pestered the whole time I’m doing tea, mostly by the girls. So then when I’m getting pestered I’m not cleaning as I’m going, it’s also sometimes the exact time Casey wants feeding so I’ll put tea on a low heat, feed her bottle, go back and whack the heat up and continue as normal. Anyway so after tea the kitchen is a mess. There’s food on the floor from the girls pots everywhere. Still not emptied the dishwasher because I just couldn’t face the dirty pots when I spent so long cleaning the damn thing last night.
Then it’s shower and bed for the girls. CNt even do baths anymore because they take too long!
Hair brushed, teeth brushed, cream on for eczema, PJs, hugs and kisses, no time for a story, like ever. And by the time I’m so worn out I haven’t got it in me. I feel awful about this but what can I do.

By the time I’ve done that I just want to get in bed. But instead I come down stairs. Look at the mess, feel overwhelmed and just sit down. I feel tired looking at it! Like “hit by a train” kind of tired.

Now seeing as I’m the “baby” of this group, please can some give me some wisdom on where I’m messing up here lol!!
Where am I going wrong to make my life easier?
My OH does help sometimes but it’s not something I want to ask him to help with because he does so much for me!
Soooo yeah. What can I do to make this easier and so I can get the kitchen clean without dying of exhaustion.

Boy o boy, I remember those days! With four children and the fact that we homeschooled we were together quite a bit, lol!

First let me say You are doing so fantabulously well. Being a mom has lovely moments but in between those times it is a time of chaos, tears, frustration, feeling completely inadequate, not liking your kids very much, to feeling guilty because you're not liking your kids very much, to thinking as my Mom jokingly asked me one day when she had come out to help me, "Shall I just put a broom up my rear and sweep while I cook?!!" We laughed so hard. It's hard; you've got to be on call and at the ready.

Also, this is long...well what did you expect, coming from me. Why write it in three words when you can write it in 103?, lolol

So be at your healthiest (a regret of mine---and one that you are slaying big time). Get into a bedtime routine for yourself. Get the kids in a good bedtime routine so that you have a bit of time to yourself. Make dates with your partner if your folks are willing to watch the kiddos. And get your kids in a daily routine. And be ready to be flexible when necessary yet stay on the routine as much as possible. I will repeat this throughout I'm sure, but children need routine, boundaries, and to know what is expected of them.

When I implemented the following life was so much smoother and more joyful for everyone. Of course there will be circumstances that blow a big ol nasty hole in your plans but you can't modify a plan if you don't have one, right?

Be consistent. If it's not allowed today, it's not allowed tomorrow.
I tried to implement things that would lead to a peaceful environment such as...

I would give our kids pep talks before entering a place in public (store, church, etc). I would tell them how I expected them to behave. If we were going to a store they were trained (yes it's training) to not ask for anything at the check out line. They knew that they were not getting a toy when we went to the store...those dollar toys add up and they create clutter. (If there were free cookies at the bakery we would go by there last if they had been cooperative. Or sometimes I'd buy a small box of cookies to share amongst themselves...but not all the time...so then it was a huge treat)

No begging. If they asked for something or to do something and the answer was no, that was it. I tried to ask questions before saying no, when feasible, or if there was a possibility of it being a yes then I would say let me consider it. But if they begged "pleeeeeease....pleeeease" they knew it was an automatic no. I recall a friend of my daughter's asking me if A could spend the night with her. She looked up at me with her puppy dog eyes and started with a "pleee" and A just about knocked her to the ground trying to get her to stop,lol!

A consistent bedtime...I failed at this too much and I think it's so important. It's a routine. Children do better with routines and boundaries. But it would fluctuate between one hour to the next.

I never played games with being disobedient. If I asked them to come to me and they started to run (as you see little children do with big smiles on their faces as mom is dashing after them) they would get a leg swatted. I never played chased with them (unless they knew it was "tag".) Why? Because if I saw danger (a car, etc) headed their way I wanted them trained to hear my voice (or whomever was in authority) and obey. You rarely get do-overs when a bus runs over you. (I recall a bee landing on my child's cheek. I calmly but with a serious voice said, "Do not move." And he was like a statue. He didn't get stung and I was able to gently get the bee moving on.

Have pick up times before meals and bedtime. "It's time for lunch. Please pick up your toys and put them where they belong. Then wash your hands and come to the table." We usually had 4pm pick up time. All of us would scurry around and pick up, put away, straighten pillows on the couch, and just tidy. It would have to be done again before bedtime, but it wasn't as much.

At dinner (tea) time, you might consider setting them around the table and color and listen to a story on your computer (not watch, but listen). Tell them ahead of time what they are going to do and that you expect them to sit at the table while you prepare dinner. You know where they are. They are calming down a bit. And you can tend to the meal and Casey. But again give them your expectations of behavior and then thank them profusely when they do what you ask...smile smile smile...maybe have a game in mind and say, "Since you helped me by sitting quietly we will play a game after dinner." Brag on them to your partner at the dinner table.

(btw, it helps me to have a sink of sudsy water when I cook, then i wash and rinse and put on the towel to dry as I go a long...this makes for less clean up--or rinse and put in dishwasher----)

We made it the norm to eat meals at the table. This was when manners were gently taught (sometimes with a game whomever says please and thank you, or keeps elbows off the table, etc., gets to choose a silly song we shall all sing while marching around the table after dinner (which is fun to see Dad do, eh!) Sometimes I'd read a chapter in a book after eating. Craig read stories about Paul Bunyan (a fabled logger with a blue ox!) and the kids still refer to those stories to this day.

Practice kindness and joy and respect, etc. This is so hard to do when you're frazzled and at wits end. But I think having the above in practice does help. Routine and boundaries help the frazzled mom.

Every child had a job from the time they could crawl...("Put the blocks a way with Mom, A, you are in charge of getting J's clothes for tomorrow" ) Our two year old would help move the clothes from the dryer to the washer by handing them to me (here's your yellow shirt. Here's A's blue sock, etc.) A 1 year old can put plastic containers in a drawer (I didn't care how they looked, lol) A young one can sort the silverware from the dishwasher to the drawers. Your oldest can set the table, etc. They were taught that a family works together...it takes every one. I would tell them the baby helps gives us smiles and laughs.

By the age of 4 the children would take their plate to the sink, toss the napkins in the trash, and help clear the table. If they went to a friend's home, I would remind them to do this and to say thank you. It teaches them to help others. Later they would put the dishes in the dishwasher.

There are age appropriate chore charts on google. We didn't pay our children for the basic chores but we had jobs that they could earn a bit of money for. I did praise praise praise them when they did the chore. BUT one thing I greatly regret is I think I sometimes took the fun out of the chore, wanting it done "just so." A child needs to learn to do his best but there's a balance that I think I too often missed. There were times when we'd make a game out of it...let's see if we can beat the clock, or matching all the socks and folding them up into each other and then everyone hide behind a couch or chair and have a sock war before putting them away. But I just as clearly remember showing dissatisfaction when the bathroom counter had a smudge of toothpaste and asking them to clean it again. If it's blatant and sloppy that's different. I guess I'm saying I should have shown more grace.

But, I do recall, when we lived in Belgium, the youngest was 11. We had three living with us (oldest was in the US attending school). It was a small home and another family visiting us...there were 11 of us in a 1.5 bathroom/ 3 bedroom house, for ten days lol! I was cooking supper and looked out and saw that the house really needed some attention. I called out, "I need you to stop what you are doing and do a fifteen minute clean up. I need bathrooms cleaned, floors swept, towels washed, and items put away, please." Our friend's mouth literally fell open as my kids immediately began calling out the chores they wanted and then of course the other kids paired up with them." He said, "How'd you do that?" I just laughed...I think it again goes back to being consistent and they knew that as soon as they were done they could resume their fun. They didn't always do this when they were younger...but by the time they were all older it was just routine. (we still battled messy rooms, dishes out, etc...I'm just saying the training when they were younger paid off as they were older)

It's exhausting work. Notice I said at the beginning, "when I implemented the following." Some days were utter failures. I cried. I'm sad to say I yelled. But when I did my job of being the trainer, the mominator, it was a joyful, albeit tiring day. (and I was quick to say, "I'm sorry." I'm sorry I yelled, I shouldn't have done that." "I'm sorry, I have not kept to our routine. That's my fault, but we are going to start back up right now."

I will tell you another regret I had...being on the computer too much of the day. I am so grateful I just now got a smart phone. It would have been horrible to have had one back them. Engage. engage. engage. When you are at the park, or at the grocery store, or during bath time, or at the dinner table, or going for a walk, put the darn electronic away. Life is so short. And my kids were so much more important than a stupid news story, or an email I just had to get out right then and there, or even looking online for school related stuff. It could have all waited until they were in bed, or to set a time during the day when I would have a look...how many times did I say, "I'll just have a quick look and then get off...and an hour later..." That is probably my biggest regret, because it threw off the rest of the day. Because I wasn't teaching my kids discipline and moderation. Because at too often I put a chunk of plastic before my kids. UGH

They are all grown now. They are enjoyable to be around (mostly!). They are their own person. They don't always do what we think they should be but that's their choice to make now. Our job was to teach/train our children to be respectful, considerate, helpful citizens of the world. And it truly starts at home. I'm visiting one of them right now while he and his dad build a deck together. Late Saturday another child picked us up at the airport and he and I stayed up until 2am chatting and sharing. Lovely time. And despite all the mistakes I made, my kids still turned out okay.

BTW, When life was hectic, I made a two week meal chart. And I'd rotate back and forth, from week one to week 2 back to week one, etc. Grocery shopping was easier as I could pretty much use the same list, I could actually double amounts sometimes and freeze food for two weeks later, etc. I just couldn't deal with much more than that and a list/plan was so helpful.

Again, you are doing great...some of these tips may be beneficial and most may not, what I struggled with, may very well be a breeze for you. Don't forget what the end goal is with your kids---besides coming out of this alive, lol. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to find/obtain peace and joy at your season..but it's there. You bring a lot of joy and encouragement to this group. You make such a tremendous effort with your children. I marvel at how you get the kids to the nursery---on foot. Wowie zowie woman. And you get supper done. And baths. And the laundry And you spend fun time with them. You labored over that poopy patio last year so that your kids could be kids and have a place to play outside. You are the MOMINATOR!

Okay my book is done, lol! Onward!

eahouston wrote: »

eahouston wrote: »

July 2nd Goals:

• Make sure I'm set with my July 3rd meal plan (July Challenge)
• Cook the breakfast I planned for Tues-Fri as well as the Korean spinach side dish I'll be eating with dinners this week + a crock pot chicken meal!
• Get back on track with my daily exercise after being useless the last couple days with a migraine. Today's workout: 1) Suzanne Bowen Lower Body Mixed Cardio + Foldover Target for Week 4: Monday of the Summer Sizzler Challenge. 2) Jessica Smith 30-Day Walk Day 4: 40-Minute Mega Burn (+10-minute Ballet Beautiful arms video)
• Lights out by 11 PM. Laying in bed most of the weekend due to my migraine didn't do me any favors for getting to sleep at a decent hour last night. Will sleep earlier tonight! It's now 10:45 PM. It was tough to get everything needed done on time- meant having to tell a few friends I couldn't message/chat tonight just to keep to my schedule. But I'm all showered with a cup of nighttime tea and lights out before 11 PM yay!

Okay I'm new to this... but I'll plan on checking in here before 10:59 PM Korea time tonight bc of my lights out goal lol. And I'll just edit the post and put an as yet undecided mark next to the tasks I accomplish. Sound right?

I'm going to try to stick with with the July challenge each day and have 1 food, 1 exercise, and 1 personal/health/well-being/possibly sometimes not even fitness-related goal each day. I look forward to getting to know everyone here a little better!

EDIT: Decided I'll post my daily intention in the morning and then quote it later on rather than going back and editing so I can separate morning and nighttime thoughts more easily. I have tomorrow's food and workouts planned out, so I'll check in in the morning. Have a great day!

P.S. At least for today, I went with the to mean CHECK! ACCOMPLISHED! DONE!