Why did you get married?

newmeadow wrote: »

vm007 wrote: »

btw big family reunion coming up. I will have relatives there who have been married for 30,40-50 years. They may have something to drink and then I'll pose this question. Muahhha

If your parents were married, stayed married and you were born within wedlock you should make sure any kid you bring into the world has those same advantages. There should be no other concern about marriage. Just make sure you marry first before you have a kid and you marry the right woman so you don't have to inflict divorce on your kid. If you want no children, don't have children and don't worry about marriage.

Research on your own about the difference between having kids raised by biological parents who are married versus kids who are raised by one parent after a divorce or by a single parent who never married. The generalized difference in outcomes, specifically the circumstances that decide health/wealth/happiness later in life say it all.

Woo me all you want MFP.

You left out one scenario in co-parenting - parents that, while not married or not married anymore, are committed to the health and well-being of the kids and put their differences aside for that mutual goal. This approach is becoming much more common and will probably throw those generalized differences for a loop with it's impact.

Anyhoo... I got married young because I live in the Midwest and things are still pretty traditional. There was commitment and what we thought at time was love, but it may have been more respect, common background social pressure to do what is typically done. I have no strong desire to get married again, but if I found that my feelings on that had changed or I find myself in a relationship with someone that strongly wants or needs that (reason isn't as important as as their feelings), very, very in-depth premarital counseling will be a requirement for me to get to the point of actually going through with it. I think I could be equally as happy with a long term, committed relationship.

I don't think that the "why" you get married matters to anyone other than yourself and your partner/spouse. Know your own reasons, stand in them even if others disagree and be able to communicate them to those people that you choose to share your reason with.

Meh, I don’t know. Growing up, I didn’t want to be a parent and had no interest in marriage in a “formal” sense. Then I fell pregnant and I had the choice of making a huge commitment , so I chose. Then , later on, I found someone( or they found me), who I just kinda knew that I wanted to go through life with, good and bad.
I regret neither choice.🙂

ssurvivor wrote: »

nooshi713 wrote: »

vm007 wrote: »

nooshi713 wrote: »

I would like to get married. I want to have that life partner and have kids

What's stopping you from not being able to do all these things without being "married"?
Does getting married "unlocks" some special powers or features in life? Why is being "married" a prerequisite?

P.S- I'm not trying to offend you -i'm sorry if I come that way- I'm just asking and curious.

I believe it would be best for children to have two parents. Also, I don't want to have kids with some random guy. I believe in the institute of marriage.

I don't think you answered @vm007 's question. It sounds like you're simply reciting something that you've been told over the years. The institution of marriage is actually quite fluid. You don't need a legal document to have all the things you want. There are many people in committed decades long relationships who never officially married. That's why Common Law Marriage laws are still on the books.

Maybe you needed it 50 years ago, but today, people get married and divorced almost as quickly as they change their clothes. Whose to say that the person you marry won't turn into "some random guy." A friend's husband filed for divorce when she was eight months pregnant with their second child. He moved from NYC to Seattle with his new wife and she hasn't heard from him since. Finding the right person is far more important than getting married.

I did answer the question. Those are my reasons why. Of course marriage is about finding the right person. I wouldn't marry just anyone. The right person for me would want to marry me too.

Dootzy1 wrote: »

Because I couldn't imagine life unfolding in the future without him in it. And because I believe that our marriage is a sacrament. (The relationship has not disappointed us for 36 years.)

Very good. 30 years for me, and no regrets.

TonyB0588 wrote: »

KeepRunningFatboy wrote: »

30 years and going strong. #Blessed

Same here. Strange how those who're not married can think of all the negative reasons to justify their position!!

Maybe some have been married and it wasn't all wedded bliss.

I got married because we have had a lot of challenges and it was our way of showing each other and others how united we are, how we are a team. My sister in law lost her partner, they were madly in love and together a year. He suddenly became sick and died. She spent every miniute possible next to his bed side. His family came and took him and everything he owned away. She had to steal a couple of his shirts to make into keepsake cushions. His ex wife took what she could even though he hated her. So this was also a deciding factor so no one could do the same to either of us.

My mom never married. She lived with my step dad. She didn't need a piece of paper to get the benefits.

Me personally i would like to do the whole wedding once

My older brother is on his second marriage. He seems happy but who knows