Why did you get married?

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Replies

  • pandacsek
    pandacsek Posts: 42 Member
    Not married and I am with you on this question. I must be missing something too. And maybe I haven't found that intelligent, supportive manly man in my life who will accept me for who I am and enjoy my personality but I am sure as hell he will agree on the fact that we don't need a piece of paper to prove that we love each other and want to be together.
  • SpartanRunner1978
    SpartanRunner1978 Posts: 1,049 Member
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    In a year or so my answer will be “Because @lstrat115 finally said yes!”

    What are we waiting for?

    Idk, I think society and MFP demands you wait a certain amount of time...but hey, as I stated earlier, I’m free in about four or five weeks...

    MFP relationships typically only last 3 months. If we make it past that we are meant to be. It's a fact

    Too easy! You accept that I like baseball, I accept that you don’t like onions on your burger...that’s called compromise!
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    2VORNT2V wrote: »
    If I get married it’s because I’m guaranteed one night of passionate love making so I can ensure I don’t die a virgin

    🎆🏆🎆🎖️🎆

    My sister thought you deserved a trophy and a medal with fireworks for your post. ROFL.
  • 2VORNT2V
    2VORNT2V Posts: 596 Member
    2VORNT2V wrote: »
    If I get married it’s because I’m guaranteed one night of passionate love making so I can ensure I don’t die a virgin

    🎆🏆🎆🎖️🎆

    My sister thought you deserved a trophy and a medal with fireworks for your post. ROFL.

    She looking to get married or nah?
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    edited July 2018
    2VORNT2V wrote: »
    If I get married it’s because I’m guaranteed one night of passionate love making so I can ensure I don’t die a virgin

    🎆🏆🎆🎖️🎆

    My sister thought you deserved a trophy and a medal with fireworks for your post. ROFL.

    Depends if Velociraptor thinks to take on T.rex. Bwahahah
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  • kcs76
    kcs76 Posts: 244 Member
    I got married because I was young, dumb and thought was in love.

    Now that I'm older, and not exactly wiser, I can say I don't plan on doing it again in this lifetime.

    Same
  • Breezybreeze7
    Breezybreeze7 Posts: 1,044 Member
    Not married but want to be 🙋🏻‍♀️

    Me too...I’m free in about four or five weeks...whadya say???

    @SpartanRunner1978 - 😮😮😮😮😮😍😍😍 You’re hot too!!!! “I do!!!” Let’s go get married at the Elvis drive thru chapel! 💍
  • SpartanRunner1978
    SpartanRunner1978 Posts: 1,049 Member
    Not married but want to be 🙋🏻‍♀️

    Me too...I’m free in about four or five weeks...whadya say???

    @SpartanRunner1978 - 😮😮😮😮😮😍😍😍 You’re hot too!!!! “I do!!!” Let’s go get married at the Elvis drive thru chapel! 💍

    Vegas? That sounds fun!
  • vm007
    vm007 Posts: 241 Member
    vm007 wrote: »

    2. Girl's future plans- as in, if she is even ready to get married? What are her life goals? Is she ready to make a commitment or she is 50-50 and family is forcing. What's her life long goals? Kids? Career? etc - would she and I compromise or we are 100% opposite or we are 100% similar both scenarios are a "no-no".

    This too is a serious consideration with the few traditional families. Is she ready? Was I ready? Did it even matter? This is the splinter point between your culture and mine. At certain points, with marital arrangements, the non-family elders (who are extreme extended family relatives from key families within a clan) can choose to disregard her viewpoints, her readiness, her willingness, which is where I would hazard a guess that your sharing is an adaptation to what might have been traditionally your culture. You’re from a more modern traditional family. I’m a little envious of women in your culture. I feel that if arranged marriages in cultures like mine, were a little less about the broodmare approach and a little more humane, by attempting to allow the 2 intended to try to at least fall in love, or appreciate each other more, even if there is no romantic inclination, it would prove to be more progressive towards the possible longevity of such matches, in these times, where our traditions are archaic. There’s social media. At least be friends there and learn each other, without judgment. Let her be her. Let you be you. No coaches. No cheerleaders. No snark.

    So what the "traditional" theory was - you have your entire lives to fall in love. Just get married first. The good in that was you end up learning patience lol , however, now -how it works out is - after all those steps are done and once Girl and guy says "yes"

    1. A small ceremony happens- in my case it won't be small and slightly bigger but it's to bring families together.
    2. Engagement party
    3. After engagement is done- a date of wedding will be set which is 3-4 months away at least.
    4. Go ahead "get to know" each other until then.

    Basically given some time to think about each other and how it'll be like to live with each other's families since we both will get a chance to get involved in each others' families as well. You know, to get "feel" of things.

    Also, it isn't like I am an introvert and scared of big parties -it's just that I don't see the point of lavish parties. If I say I am going to buy another AMG then spending money on cars is pointless but having so many functions is justified because "that's how things are suppose to be".
  • vm007
    vm007 Posts: 241 Member
    Cat3141 wrote: »
    vm007 wrote: »
    Everyone who is talking about tax benefits and what not- you realize the inverse results as well right? as in a divorce may leads to half of the stuff being gone.

    Yes, but half of what I save on taxes every year is better than none of it.

    Basically taxes and health insurance.

    Had you been all by yourself- how much would you save?

    I am not even going into how you can save on taxes because there are so many ways but wouldn't your expenses drop significantly were you single?
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    Old fashion beliefs. She was pregnant and thought I had to do the right thing.
    2 kids and 14 yrs later I'm half way through my divorce.
    Signed the divorce papers on our 14th anniversary

    Similar. Very similar story.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    guilt shame and lack of courage. that passed.
  • kbmnurse1
    kbmnurse1 Posts: 316 Member
    Why did I get married? Because I was an idiot twice. NEVER again.
  • LilMsEnergy1
    LilMsEnergy1 Posts: 49 Member
    It depends on what marriage means 2 the individual....Hmm I mean "couple" :) personally I think it's a beautiful thing to do only if both agendas are pure. Ultimately really in ♡ . Now how do u determine that well that's another post
  • vm007
    vm007 Posts: 241 Member
    Tell me something-

    If your man or woman -cheats on you with someone-who's to blame ? the person who was able to seduce them or your partner who succumbed down to that level? What if the seducer was single ? What if seducer wasn't?

  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    man, you sure like loaded questions.

    Does the 3rd party know your SO is taken? thats a factor in their guilt level IMO.

    I think everyone involved is to blame on some level if someone cheats. Not a popular opinion though :grimace:
  • Candy0516
    Candy0516 Posts: 399 Member
    Seemed fun at the time
  • ACanadian22
    ACanadian22 Posts: 377 Member
    We loved each other and we were still so young, even though we thought we knew it all at that time...
    32 years in so we must have knew a bit ;)
  • george5911
    george5911 Posts: 3,910 Member
    Old fashion beliefs. She was pregnant and thought I had to do the right thing.
    2 kids and 14 yrs later I'm half way through my divorce.
    Signed the divorce papers on our 14th anniversary

    In that boat too, except divorce has been final over a year. Four kids and 14 years later, I thought I had a great marriage up until the point when I didn't have one at all. People change, sometimes overnight.
  • vm007
    vm007 Posts: 241 Member
    man, you sure like loaded questions.

    Does the 3rd party know your SO is taken? thats a factor in their guilt level IMO.

    I think everyone involved is to blame on some level if someone cheats. Not a popular opinion though :grimace:

    However, the law only punishes the seduced not the seducer. Society punishes both seducer and the seduced. Homewrecker and cheater are the labels given.

    Wouldn't they have amended the law if seducer was actually at fault?
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    vm007 wrote: »
    man, you sure like loaded questions.

    Does the 3rd party know your SO is taken? thats a factor in their guilt level IMO.

    I think everyone involved is to blame on some level if someone cheats. Not a popular opinion though :grimace:

    However, the law only punishes the seduced not the seducer. Society punishes both seducer and the seduced. Homewrecker and cheater are the labels given.

    Wouldn't they have amended the law if seducer was actually at fault?

    Depends upon where one lives as to "punishment" on the seduced as well. Not all areas have laws against cheating. I don't agree with cheating. But, I can certainly understand why someone would.

    As to who to punish? I'm of the opinion that it's better to just walk away than to punish. If they've cheated before, chances are they'll do it again.
  • BrSpiritus
    BrSpiritus Posts: 190 Member
    You want an unpopular opinion? God punishes those who cheat far more severely than secular authorities, there you go, woo me all you want.
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
    BrSpiritus wrote: »
    You want an unpopular opinion? God punishes those who cheat far more severely than secular authorities, there you go, woo me all you want.

    No wooing from me. If that's your belief, so be it.
  • pandacsek
    pandacsek Posts: 42 Member
    vm007 wrote: »
    Tell me something-

    If your man or woman -cheats on you with someone-who's to blame ? the person who was able to seduce them or your partner who succumbed down to that level? What if the seducer was single ? What if seducer wasn't?
    
    
    Maybe ask yourself if you did give your partner everything he/she needed. Why would he/she look outside of the relationship if something wasn't missing?
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    pandacsek wrote: »
    vm007 wrote: »
    Tell me something-

    If your man or woman -cheats on you with someone-who's to blame ? the person who was able to seduce them or your partner who succumbed down to that level? What if the seducer was single ? What if seducer wasn't?
    
    
    Maybe ask yourself if you did give your partner everything he/she needed. Why would he/she look outside of the relationship if something wasn't missing?

    This may be the situation in some cases but i think over all its selfish. Leave the marriage if you are unhappy. And overall theres something missing within the cheater that they need to ask themselves why do they cheat.
  • vm007
    vm007 Posts: 241 Member
    pandacsek wrote: »
    vm007 wrote: »
    Tell me something-

    If your man or woman -cheats on you with someone-who's to blame ? the person who was able to seduce them or your partner who succumbed down to that level? What if the seducer was single ? What if seducer wasn't?
    
    
    Maybe ask yourself if you did give your partner everything he/she needed. Why would he/she look outside of the relationship if something wasn't missing?

    Curiosity, excitement, adrenaline, something new. Something secretive >:) our little secret.
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