Why did you get married?
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Breezybreeze7 wrote: »SpartanRunner1978 wrote: »Breezybreeze7 wrote: »Not married but want to be 🙋🏻♀️
Me too...I’m free in about four or five weeks...whadya say???
@SpartanRunner1978 - 😮😮😮😮😮😍😍😍 You’re hot too!!!! “I do!!!” Let’s go get married at the Elvis drive thru chapel! 💍
Vegas? That sounds fun!1 -
777Gemma888 wrote: »
2. Girl's future plans- as in, if she is even ready to get married? What are her life goals? Is she ready to make a commitment or she is 50-50 and family is forcing. What's her life long goals? Kids? Career? etc - would she and I compromise or we are 100% opposite or we are 100% similar both scenarios are a "no-no".
This too is a serious consideration with the few traditional families. Is she ready? Was I ready? Did it even matter? This is the splinter point between your culture and mine. At certain points, with marital arrangements, the non-family elders (who are extreme extended family relatives from key families within a clan) can choose to disregard her viewpoints, her readiness, her willingness, which is where I would hazard a guess that your sharing is an adaptation to what might have been traditionally your culture. You’re from a more modern traditional family. I’m a little envious of women in your culture. I feel that if arranged marriages in cultures like mine, were a little less about the broodmare approach and a little more humane, by attempting to allow the 2 intended to try to at least fall in love, or appreciate each other more, even if there is no romantic inclination, it would prove to be more progressive towards the possible longevity of such matches, in these times, where our traditions are archaic. There’s social media. At least be friends there and learn each other, without judgment. Let her be her. Let you be you. No coaches. No cheerleaders. No snark.
So what the "traditional" theory was - you have your entire lives to fall in love. Just get married first. The good in that was you end up learning patience lol , however, now -how it works out is - after all those steps are done and once Girl and guy says "yes"
1. A small ceremony happens- in my case it won't be small and slightly bigger but it's to bring families together.
2. Engagement party
3. After engagement is done- a date of wedding will be set which is 3-4 months away at least.
4. Go ahead "get to know" each other until then.
Basically given some time to think about each other and how it'll be like to live with each other's families since we both will get a chance to get involved in each others' families as well. You know, to get "feel" of things.
Also, it isn't like I am an introvert and scared of big parties -it's just that I don't see the point of lavish parties. If I say I am going to buy another AMG then spending money on cars is pointless but having so many functions is justified because "that's how things are suppose to be".0 -
Had you been all by yourself- how much would you save?
I am not even going into how you can save on taxes because there are so many ways but wouldn't your expenses drop significantly were you single?0 -
bigjuicy1234 wrote: »Old fashion beliefs. She was pregnant and thought I had to do the right thing.
2 kids and 14 yrs later I'm half way through my divorce.
Signed the divorce papers on our 14th anniversary
Similar. Very similar story.1 -
I was tired of cooking and cleaning. Couldn't afford a maid.5
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guilt shame and lack of courage. that passed.0
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Why did I get married? Because I was an idiot twice. NEVER again.0
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It depends on what marriage means 2 the individual....Hmm I mean "couple"
personally I think it's a beautiful thing to do only if both agendas are pure. Ultimately really in ♡ . Now how do u determine that well that's another post 0 -
Tell me something-
If your man or woman -cheats on you with someone-who's to blame ? the person who was able to seduce them or your partner who succumbed down to that level? What if the seducer was single ? What if seducer wasn't?
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man, you sure like loaded questions.
Does the 3rd party know your SO is taken? thats a factor in their guilt level IMO.
I think everyone involved is to blame on some level if someone cheats. Not a popular opinion though
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Seemed fun at the time2
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We loved each other and we were still so young, even though we thought we knew it all at that time...
32 years in so we must have knew a bit
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bigjuicy1234 wrote: »Old fashion beliefs. She was pregnant and thought I had to do the right thing.
2 kids and 14 yrs later I'm half way through my divorce.
Signed the divorce papers on our 14th anniversary
In that boat too, except divorce has been final over a year. Four kids and 14 years later, I thought I had a great marriage up until the point when I didn't have one at all. People change, sometimes overnight.3 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »man, you sure like loaded questions.
Does the 3rd party know your SO is taken? thats a factor in their guilt level IMO.
I think everyone involved is to blame on some level if someone cheats. Not a popular opinion though
However, the law only punishes the seduced not the seducer. Society punishes both seducer and the seduced. Homewrecker and cheater are the labels given.
Wouldn't they have amended the law if seducer was actually at fault?0 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »man, you sure like loaded questions.
Does the 3rd party know your SO is taken? thats a factor in their guilt level IMO.
I think everyone involved is to blame on some level if someone cheats. Not a popular opinion though
However, the law only punishes the seduced not the seducer. Society punishes both seducer and the seduced. Homewrecker and cheater are the labels given.
Wouldn't they have amended the law if seducer was actually at fault?
Depends upon where one lives as to "punishment" on the seduced as well. Not all areas have laws against cheating. I don't agree with cheating. But, I can certainly understand why someone would.
As to who to punish? I'm of the opinion that it's better to just walk away than to punish. If they've cheated before, chances are they'll do it again.
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You want an unpopular opinion? God punishes those who cheat far more severely than secular authorities, there you go, woo me all you want.2
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BrSpiritus wrote: »You want an unpopular opinion? God punishes those who cheat far more severely than secular authorities, there you go, woo me all you want.
No wooing from me. If that's your belief, so be it.0 -
Tell me something-
If your man or woman -cheats on you with someone-who's to blame ? the person who was able to seduce them or your partner who succumbed down to that level? What if the seducer was single ? What if seducer wasn't?
Maybe ask yourself if you did give your partner everything he/she needed. Why would he/she look outside of the relationship if something wasn't missing?0 -
Tell me something-
If your man or woman -cheats on you with someone-who's to blame ? the person who was able to seduce them or your partner who succumbed down to that level? What if the seducer was single ? What if seducer wasn't?
Maybe ask yourself if you did give your partner everything he/she needed. Why would he/she look outside of the relationship if something wasn't missing?
This may be the situation in some cases but i think over all its selfish. Leave the marriage if you are unhappy. And overall theres something missing within the cheater that they need to ask themselves why do they cheat.2 -
Tell me something-
If your man or woman -cheats on you with someone-who's to blame ? the person who was able to seduce them or your partner who succumbed down to that level? What if the seducer was single ? What if seducer wasn't?
Maybe ask yourself if you did give your partner everything he/she needed. Why would he/she look outside of the relationship if something wasn't missing?
Curiosity, excitement, adrenaline, something new. Something secretive
our little secret. 0
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