Why did you get married?

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  • ssssanaaaa
    ssssanaaaa Posts: 567 Member
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    The tax break :D

    (jk I'm not married)
  • vm007
    vm007 Posts: 241 Member
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    LouisTamsi wrote: »
    vm007 wrote: »
    I get fingers pointed at -that I only ask this question because I've never been in a relationship. The "encounters" I've had were meaningless and pointless. However, tbt -I have good memories from them. Yes, there were awkward moments, rejections, drama but also joyous moments, fun the whole spectrum.

    Some of them are married and happy now. I have lost touch with all of them after they got married and even with my male friends who got married our friendships waned as well and is basically limited to barbecues and what not.

    I get told, you've never been in "love"- I do not understand this one. If you love someone- marrying them -isn't this selfish on both ends as in saying that we don't trust each other enough to stay together without a piece of paper saying so? -if a person is going to cheat and one thinks they can stop that behavior because of marriage isn't that delusion?

    I , also get told -you are talking about all this because you aren't married yet -well DUH! isn't it good I'm thinking like this right now rather after getting married.

    I don't know what age you are but it sounds like you're pretty young still. I thought like you do when I was in my 20s and pretty much went MGTOW before it was a thing because all I had seen around me were a string of failed marriages. I was 32 when I met my wife and I just knew she was the one, and yes there is a deeper love at work than just living together. When you meet that person, you will know as well.

    You are correct about my age bro. However, I was ok with marriage when I was younger and now I'm a little older and now my mind has started to question the whole concept. Everyone around me has been married and I have seen zero separations around me. That's why the divide between me is harsher. Me versus myself is hardcore because of that very reason.

    Also what does MGTOW mean?
  • vm007
    vm007 Posts: 241 Member
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    btw big family reunion coming up. I will have relatives there who have been married for 30,40-50 years. They may have something to drink and then I'll pose this question. Muahhha
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
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    It felt like a good day to make a terrible decision.
    :lol:
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I don't know. I did not think deeply about it. I loved him and marriage was what you usually did at some point among our family and friends when you loved someone. I was 25 and he was 19. I was pregnant. I suppose we wanted to be a family unit.
    We have been married 18 years and are happy together.
    A piece of paper did not make us more in love or anything I guess. We did not have religious reasons or family pressure.

    In many places in the world society is set up to value the symbol of marriage as a serious commitment/contract. There are legal benefits and rights to being married that are different from being unmarried partners where I live and probably in many places that continue to make marriage desirable.

    https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/marriage-rights-benefits-30190.html
  • justinewillcutyou
    justinewillcutyou Posts: 530 Member
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    For everything you listed but also the legal benefits. If something happens to me and I am incapacitated, my husband knows what I want done and will make sure it’s done. Tax benefits. Ease of paperwork and what it with us sharing the same last name. I have the same last name as my children. We were together for six years, had a son and owned two homes together before we got married, at that point there was nothing really romantic about it.. it was a business transaction. The love and commitment was already there.
  • vm007
    vm007 Posts: 241 Member
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    Everyone who is talking about tax benefits and what not- you realize the inverse results as well right? as in a divorce may leads to half of the stuff being gone.
    Also, there are SO many ways to save on taxes.
    Being single has its benefits as well. You talk about ease of paperwork lol there is no extra paperwork at all if you are single. Just "tick" the box "single".

    Also, I'm merely asking about "why are you married?" not if it is better to have a kid outside of wedlock lol
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
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    vm007 wrote: »
    Everyone who is talking about tax benefits and what not- you realize the inverse results as well right? as in a divorce may leads to half of the stuff being gone.
    Also, there are SO many ways to save on taxes.
    Being single has its benefits as well. You talk about ease of paperwork lol there is no extra paperwork at all if you are single. Just "tick" the box "single".

    Also, I'm merely asking about "why are you married?" not if it is better to have a kid outside of wedlock lol

    Lol good point...i got married cause i was "in love"....i would never do it again...it is just a binding contract
  • vm007
    vm007 Posts: 241 Member
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    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I would like to get married. I want to have that life partner and have kids

    What's stopping you from not being able to do all these things without being "married"?
    Does getting married "unlocks" some special powers or features in life? Why is being "married" a prerequisite?

    P.S- I'm not trying to offend you -i'm sorry if I come that way- I'm just asking and curious.
  • ssurvivor
    ssurvivor Posts: 142 Member
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    So I can get seriously paid if he turns into a toad.

    Just kidding (mostly).
  • Ninkasi
    Ninkasi Posts: 173 Member
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    We were in Vegas, did it on the spur of the moment.

    We were already living together and I was ambivalent about getting married and had said so, but he wanted us to be married so I said yes. Vegas seemed like the right way for us to do it, impromptu and fun. It'll be 24 years later this year and it's been a grand adventure. No regrets!
  • BrSpiritus
    BrSpiritus Posts: 190 Member
    edited July 2018
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    ssurvivor wrote: »
    So I can get seriously paid if he turns into a toad.

    Just kidding (mostly).

    Unless you're in Saudi Arabia, most divorce courts rule heavily in favor of women these days. I had a friend of mine and his wife cheated on him, when he found out she had him Baker Acted and after he came back she was gone. During the divorce she lied about abuse, etc and he got taken to the cleaners financially. 2 Days after the divorce was finalized he hung himself in his business. So yes, you could get paid but at what cost?

    PS - The Baker Act is a Florida thing. In short you can call the police on anyone and claim they are insane, suicidal, what have you and the police have to take the person away for psychiatric evaluation for 2 days.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
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    BrSpiritus wrote: »
    ssurvivor wrote: »
    So I can get seriously paid if he turns into a toad.

    Just kidding (mostly).

    Unless you're in Saudi Arabia, most divorce courts rule heavily in favor of women these days. I had a friend of mine and his wife cheated on him, when he found out she had him Baker Acted and after he came back she was gone. During the divorce she lied about abuse, etc and he got taken to the cleaners financially. 2 Days after the divorce was finalized he hung himself in his business. So yes, you could get paid but at what cost?

    PS - The Baker Act is a Florida thing. In short you can call the police on anyone and claim they are insane, suicidal, what have you and the police have to take the person away for psychiatric evaluation for 2 days.

    Oh wow :|

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