JUST FOR TODAY ....... One day at a time ..... Daily Commitment Thread for 2018

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  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,077 Member
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    PhedraJD wrote: »
    Bex953172 wrote: »

    Thank you for this! So nice of you to come out of lurking to message me.
    I feel like a rubbish parent half the time. I constantly worry I'm going to mess them up. I always seem to do things wrong

    No problem. No way can you be a "rubbish" parent. It is quite evident that you love them.

    They have a home, with loving parents, a place to sleep, food on the table, and clothes on their back. Everything else is just gravy!

    My mom (who I think is the most amazing woman in the world.) raised 4 girls, a step daughter and a step son. Told me all you can do is love them, and make the best decisions you can at that time with the information you have on hand.

    I also took a parenting class when my oldest, now 18, was just 2. I learned there are only 3 rules that kids really need to follow. Nothing that hurts themselves, nothing that hurts others, and nothing that hurts their environment. (you can make almost any house rule fit under these.) If they don't they probably don't need to be a rule.

    Pick your battles, what is worth fighting with your kids? Can they learn from natural consequences? IE Eat your lunch..I don't wanna. Okay, then nothing to eat until the next meal. No fighting, put the food in the fridge. They go hungry until the next meal, reheat food and give to them (Or let them have what you made for the next meal)
    They will get hungry, eventually they will understand that if they are hungry they need to eat. Mom isn't going to keep making food and snacks for them between meals.

    Another put your coat on.. Nope. Okay. They go outside and get cold, they complain about it. I'm sorry I told you to put your coat on, you chose not to do it, so now you get to be cold. (only if it is safe to let them go cold.)

    Hopefully, any of the advice, stories help. But just remember you love them, and they know you love them. I also remember as I got older my mom telling me, I love you, but I sure don't like you or your behavior right now.

    My favorite is when my kids tell me they don't like me/hate me. I look at them say it is okay. I love them still, but it isn't my job to make them like me. I must be doing it right. When they become adults we can be friends.

    Ahhh that's clever lol! So basically even at the age of 4 I have to let her make her own decisions (within reason) and she can just learn for herself.
    You've made me feel a hell of a lot better about it.
    I'm doing all I can right now, I could probably try harder but in doing my best and that's what counts!
  • Faebert
    Faebert Posts: 1,588 Member
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    Hi all, have had an ok day. Some crazy busy times at work (doing cooking with 60 6 year old children this morning was ambitious!!) and only hit some of my goals but they were significant. Especially avoiding emotional eating and getting myself to hot yoga tonight after some bad news this afternoon.

    Recap Friday goals
    - morning workout ✅
    - April challenge :/ too busy with the classes
    - May challenge ✅
    - June challenge ✅
    - July challenge :| forgot to pre-log this morning for the first time in ages and it made a real difference! Can’t believe this has already started to stick - I felt a bit rudderless even though I knew the choices I was making were what I would have pre-logged...
    - Hot yoga ✅
    - Tan and general ‘grooming’ :| tomorrow when the kids are with their Dad.

    Saturday goals
    - morning workout
    - Make sure kids are packed and ready for 8am
    - Hot yoga @10
    - Heath food store
    - Tan and pampering
    - New phone?
    - April, May and June challenges. Am intentionally not pre-logging this weekend as heading to see my boyfriend so meal plans unknown

    Happy weekend everyone!! X
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,754 Member
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    For the first time since Tuesday, I am in charge of supper tonight! My husband never wants to go out and do anything and this week he has not only wanted to go out, but he has also decided he wants take out too much! This is so rare that I feel I have to go along so therefore have struggled with meals this week. Tonight we are having a rotisserie chicken and a salad. There is a severe thunderstorm warning in effect so I don't know if I'll get my walk in, maybe I'll find something to do with my new weights and some stretches.

  • nickssweetheart
    nickssweetheart Posts: 874 Member
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    @Bex953172 Your little girl is beautiful! Sounds like all in all it was a better day today?

    @Snowflake1968 I've done weight training with various levels of adherence for a while now, you can message me if you'd like details about what I do, fwiw. I follow a book.

    1. Log everything I eat and stay under goal. :)
    2. Drink 6 cups of water before 3 pm. :neutral: Got 4, not 6.
    3. Do my physical therapy morning and evening. :)
    4. Eat only when hungry. :)
    5. Drink no more than 1 20 oz bottle of diet soda. :)
    6. Do the Aldi grocery shopping, also stop by Sprouts if I have time. :neutral: Didn't get up early enough to go before the appointment with the plumber (who didn't show so I still could have gone!)

    Just for tomorrow:

    1. Adhere to food plan and stay under goal
    2. Drink 8 cups of water
    3. Physical therapy morning and evening
    4. Eat only when hungry
    5. Grocery shopping
  • toaljasa
    toaljasa Posts: 955 Member
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    @Bex953172 I just smiled and waved as my JFT goals passed me by! That made me chuckle out loud! Hope you enjoyed your curry and cake. Loved the pics, especially the scrunched up face.

  • bcTRAI
    bcTRAI Posts: 414 Member
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    Bex953172 wrote: »
    PhedraJD wrote: »

    Pick your battles, what is worth fighting with your kids? Can they learn from natural consequences? IE Eat your lunch..I don't wanna. Okay, then nothing to eat until the next meal. No fighting, put the food in the fridge. They go hungry until the next meal, reheat food and give to them (Or let them have what you made for the next meal)
    They will get hungry, eventually they will understand that if they are hungry they need to eat. Mom isn't going to keep making food and snacks for them between meals.

    Another put your coat on.. Nope. Okay. They go outside and get cold, they complain about it. I'm sorry I told you to put your coat on, you chose not to do it, so now you get to be cold. (only if it is safe to let them go cold.)

    Hopefully, any of the advice, stories help. But just remember you love them, and they know you love them. I also remember as I got older my mom telling me, I love you, but I sure don't like you or your behavior right now.

    My favorite is when my kids tell me they don't like me/hate me. I look at them say it is okay. I love them still, but it isn't my job to make them like me. I must be doing it right. When they become adults we can be friends.

    @Bex953172 @PhedraJD I did the same thing with mine. When my oldest was 3 she refused to wear her mittens in the middle of frozen winter. I was super tired of weeks of daily arguing over this, ended up allowing her bare hands, she started crying half way to daycare, asked her why she wasn't wearing her mittens. No damage and the mittens always went on thereafter with only a single request.
    Also, the teenage years were not pleasant but my adult children and I are now friends so all the boundaries and sticking to my rules were worth it.
  • bookmeister86
    bookmeister86 Posts: 1,165 Member
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    Yesterday's commitments:

    - Log everything I eat :)
    - Stick to food plan :| I had 600 calories spare because of the gym, so decided to eat some back as crisps. Still ended up in the green by 300 so I'm fine with this
    - Go to gym :)
    - 4 bottles water :)
    - No alcohol :D Particularly pleased with this one given it was a Friday!! We spent the evening cleaning and shopping instead as the boyfriend's family are staying this weekend. The flat is no longer a den of filth!!
    - Go through to-do list in order :smile: Didn't get through it all, but quite a bit

    Today's commitments:

    - Log everything I eat
    - Be restrained with food today (can't really plan ahead as spending day out with unpredictable children)
    - Exercise DVD
    - 4 bottles water
    - French podcast, Duolingo, book
    - Read article
  • nickssweetheart
    nickssweetheart Posts: 874 Member
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    auntmosmail wrote: »
    Goals for yesterday:
    Stay within my 1409 calorie goal ✔
    Pack for camp ✔
    Grocery shop for my husband ✔
    Get laundry done ✔
    Clean the house some ✔
    Go to bed before midnight: almost

    Goals for today:
    Spray weeds in backyard
    Leave for camp on time

    I'm heading up to camp to volunteer for a week. This has potential to be a disaster as I won't be cooking and there are SO MANY SNACKS sitting out calling my name!! So, I'm going in with a plan: since we are pretty much walking for about 14 hours a day I'm going to eat as much as I need, but not excessively, at meals. I will drink plenty of water; I'm bringing my Camelbak backpack. And I am going to allow myself three-five snacks a day. I'm hoping this will allow me to meet my energy needs while not restricting me so much that I will end up binging on snacks each chance I get.

    I won't be able to post each day, as we don't really have internet at all, but I will report back next weekend!

    Goals for each day (7 days total):
    Eat only what I need at meals
    128 oz of water each day
    Only 3-5 snacks a day

    That sounds so fun! Have a great time, and fabulous planning!
  • toaljasa
    toaljasa Posts: 955 Member
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    Have a fabulous weekend!
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  • toaljasa
    toaljasa Posts: 955 Member
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    Jft 7/14
    I have prelogged my meals for today
    I have done strength training
    I am going to drink 6-8 cups of water
    I am going to pick up my groceries, come home and quilt!

    Peace and joy, y'all!
  • PackerFanInGB
    PackerFanInGB Posts: 3,335 Member
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    Today, I am just going to list a few goals. Have too much teenage GD and DH not-getting-along drama going on today to put a lot of thought into anything.

    Just for Saturday:
    1. Log every bite
    2. Write my Day 1 Becks Diet index cards
    3. Finish top of quilt and pin the layers together
    4. Declutter my closet and move clothes from shelves to dresser in guest room
    5. Start another donate box
    6. Start reading the 3rd manual for the exams I am taking on Monday. (3 total manuals >800 pages UGH)
    7. Mail GD's birthday card
    8. Remain calm while being umpire between GD and DH. It's so exhausting mentally to be in the middle.

    This is going to have to do it!

    @Bex953172 I agree with what everyone is saying about the 4 year old. I used the "consequences" strategy many times also. If one of my kids didn't want to eat, I told them they didn't have to but they weren't getting anything to eat until dinner. They got hungry and I felt like a monster, but they learned real quick. Same with the examples of not putting on their mittens, etc. If it's reasonable and won't hurt them, let them see what the consequences are so they realize you're not trying to boss them around...there are unpleasant side effects when they don't do these things.

    When my daughter was little, she threw herself on the floor in the middle of the dining room and kicked and pounded her fists on the floor and screamed and just threw a horrible tantrum. I calmly picked her up (carefully because she was kicking and screaming) and brought her to her room, laid her down on THAT floor and told her she could kick and scream as long as she wanted in her room and when she's done she can come out. Well, that took the fun right out of the tantrum and it was the last time she threw one.

    One last thing is....I know there is a saying of "terrible two's"....but at my house, that was nothing....at my house it was the Fricking Fours....only I didn't say "fricking" if you catch my drift. Fours were horrible. Then they started kindergarten and became sweet again. :mrgreen:
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,077 Member
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    Haha thank you everyone so much for the advice on how to help me deal with my 4yo.
    I've read all the comments, some I specifically wanted to respond to but God knows what page they're on now lol so a big thank you to everyone

    The magic 1 2 3, is that what I think it is? Just counting to 3?
    Because today I asked her to do something and got the typical "I don't want to" so I say "okay then, one... Two..."
    *she panicked and did what I said*
    " don't let me get to three!
    *she went even faster*

    Is this why they call it magic lol?!?!
  • HGSmith0920
    HGSmith0920 Posts: 1,123 Member
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    JFT, 7/14/18

    1. Take nap
    2. Put table away
    3. Clear off other table
    4. Change litter box
    5. Start laundry
    6. Take Matt dinner
    7. Make shopping list
    8. Aldi's
    9. Take out garbage
    10. Bed whenever


    I think that's it seeing as it's already 3:47pm. Lol
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,754 Member
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    Bex953172 wrote: »
    Haha thank you everyone so much for the advice on how to help me deal with my 4yo.
    I've read all the comments, some I specifically wanted to respond to but God knows what page they're on now lol so a big thank you to everyone

    The magic 1 2 3, is that what I think it is? Just counting to 3?
    Because today I asked her to do something and got the typical "I don't want to" so I say "okay then, one... Two..."
    *she panicked and did what I said*
    " don't let me get to three!
    *she went even faster*

    Is this why they call it magic lol?!?!

    That is it, you have to know in your mind what will happen if you reach 3 though and follow through.

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