JUST FOR TODAY ....... One day at a time ..... Daily Commitment Thread for 2018
Replies
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My manager is coming back on Monday!!!!!! Just today and tomorrow and this nightmare ends!!!! I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am for this!!!!!!8
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nickssweetheart wrote: »Snowflake1968 wrote: »nickssweetheart wrote: »So, yeah, is this the thread where we are all talking about drinking water? Because I'm seriously out of step with the water consumption since I started my job. The siren call of the vending machine and a limitless supply of soda when I'm feeling a bit tired is pretty tough to resist. Plus I don't have a company compliant water bottle yet. Will remedy that this weekend, but until then I need to get my glasses in before I go to work at 3, I think.
Today's wrap up:
1. Eat only when hungry. Did really well with this today. I had planned a bigger meal for dinner, but I wasn't hungry for it, so I stopped.
2. Log everything I eat and stay under calorie goal.
3. Drink 64 oz of water before indulging in soda.
4. Plan next week's eating and make a grocery list. Working on it now and will get it done and then reward myself with my guilty pleasure...General Hospital.
A company compliant water bottle? I have never heard such a thing. Why would it have to be a specific one?
To protect the computer equipment it has to have a screw top instead of one that just pops off and on in case I knock it over. So anything from the vending machine is fine because they only vend bottles, no cans, but my old trusty plastic bottle doesn't meet the standard.
Oh that makes sense to me now. I was thinking a specific brand LOL1 -
mytime6630 wrote: »JFT, weds
DO THE BASICS:
1. DRINK WATER YAH! Made it to my 8 glasses today
2. EAT PROTEIN Protein shake for lunch, and bbq pork for dinner. (Dinner is SO much easier when planned ahead and in the crockpot!
3. EAT PLANTS - veggies, fruits
4. EXERCISE Went for a 45 minute walk with a friend -- therapy time, plus exercise. Just what was needed today
5. PLAN AHEAD While watching "my 600 lb weight loss, looked through a new cookbook I got .... lots of new recipes to try, all under 400 calories
Today was much better. I was tired, but concentrated on water instead of food. Tonite, my daughter came out ... went to the bookstore so she got some new books, then stopped and bought her a few new tops.
I was watching the show "My 600 pound Life", and one of the ladies was in therapy --- talking about emotional eating. This is a struggle for me as well ... emotional eating. So many of you ask how to handle large parties, BBQ, etc. These are never a problem for me. .... I do well for meals... and when eating in public. My problem is, and has always been, eating in private when I am emotionally stressed.
On tonite show, the therapist told the girl to not let the "mean voice" come out. You know ... that voice that tells you that you will fail, that you won't ever lose the weight, that you need this food to cope.
We need to use the "nice, kind voice". The loving voice that gives us confidence that we can handle any problem, without food. That we CAN lose the weight, and reach our goals. And if we have a bad day, thats OK. We can still lose the weight.
So I am going to try and get rid of that mean voice, and replace it with that kind, loving voice!
SO JFT, Thursday
1. log all food
2. Drink water - april challenge
3. go outside for a walk, or go to the gym
4. eat protein
5. eat plants
6. plan ahead
7. mindful eating
I think that mean inner voice affects so many aspects of our lives. I have been working on shutting it up for the last year now. It takes a lot of practice but I don't think I've heard her in a few months.5 -
mytime6630 wrote: »OK @Bex ---- are you drinking your water!!!!! Diet coach here checking on you today!
I will be today. Its 6am here. I'm in a bad mood because its 6am. Getting sick of being woken this early by the kids.
My 4 year old is being a total nightmare, constantly, all day. I can't take it anymore. I've talked to her., shouted at her, put her in her room, put her on the step, pleaded with her, burst into tears begging her to stop and then even her dad got involved basically doing the same thing and she just did not stop.
Hence the awful day. I just don't know what to do anymore. She doesn't listen to a word I say. Not a word. Or she will for about 30 seconds before I'm having to tell her again.
Oh honey, what is she doing specifically? Is she the middle child?1 -
JFT Wednesday
Stick to the planned foods - July challenge
Work - write up procedure for processing deceased team member payments
Plan Thursday & Friday food
Call Mom
Watch next Sopranos episode
Two more clothing items to donate
Put away the clean laundry
Results could be worse. Work is sometimes out of my control. I only have an hour of meeting scheduled today, and this is a "No" day for processing off cycle requests, so I am hoping that I can get some items off my work to do list. I am going to put that work write up back on my list just so I can see it checked off!
I went home and the dear husband had decided to trim a tree to enable us to see the horse stalls from the house again. I helped him drag the branches to the burn pile. It was only about 90 degrees with relatively low humidity 45-50% but it near wiped me out. Back inside I did fix the planned dinner - shredded the leftover Boston pork butt from Monday and made BBQ sandwiches. The laundry got put away because I had put the basket with everything folded on my bed in the morning. Did not call mom because my plan was to do that on my drive home, but the gas light was on and I had to take the regular roads instead of the turnpike home. Rush hour traffic sucks! I am spoiled on my normal commute because I have a turnpike within five miles of my house where I exit within a mile of my work. I sometimes take the regular roads on my way home, but since I work later the traffic usually light. Yesterday I left a little early so I could take a meeting at home.
JFT Thursday
Stick to the planned foods - July challenge
Work - write up procedure for processing deceased team member payments
Call Mom
Walk - get 10K steps (Weather permitting lightning will keep me indoors)5 -
PackerFanInGB wrote: »
I went to see the Orthopedic surgeon today for the hip pain. I now have an appointment next week to see a Pain & Spine doctor and get an MRI. Ortho thinks I have two separate issues going and that both he and the Pain & Spine doctor may have to work together to try to get me walking better and with less pain. He thinks I have a labrum tear in my hip joint which he can operate on, but he also thinks I have a pinched nerve by my lumbar spine which is affecting the muscles in my left leg and causing muscle wasting. I'm not gonna lie. I felt defeated when I left. I drove to a parking lot, parked my car, called my husband and cried. I'm trying so hard to get healthy. But like my husband said...we can get through anything together, and he says I beat cancer and this isn't cancer, so we got this. I sure hope he's right. I'm feeling really discouraged today.
Sending lots of hugs, and hope you are feeling better today. There is nothing worse than hip or back pain.
And your husband is so right ... you have beat cancer - and this is not cancer. You'll get through this pain also, but in the meantime, take good care of yourself. There is a lot the doctors can do to help you. Just rest. Sometimes that is what you need to do.
I was walking a lot with a good friend, and she has developed terrible knee problems. THe doctor actually told her to stop walking until they heal ... that our bodies need breaks also. SO I hope you can just curl up with a good book, and take care of you.
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I will be today. Its 6am here. I'm in a bad mood because its 6am. Getting sick of being woken this early by the kids.
My 4 year old is being a total nightmare, constantly, all day. I can't take it anymore. I've talked to her., shouted at her, put her in her room, put her on the step, pleaded with her, burst into tears begging her to stop and then even her dad got involved basically doing the same thing and she just did not stop.
Hence the awful day. I just don't know what to do anymore. She doesn't listen to a word I say. Not a word. Or she will for about 30 seconds before I'm having to tell her again.
Isn't it fun!! OH, how I remember so much those days .... and I only had 2 kids! They seem to sense when we are tired, and its like they love to keep pushing buttons. Do they have a good TV show that they like .... just to give yourself a little break? I know I never wanted kids in front of the tv, but sometimes that was all that would work to quiet them down.
I used to keep a box of special little "toys" that I hid, and if the kids would be really bad, I would tell them if they did so and so, or helped extra, they would get to pick out a toy. They loved it. It was always cheap stuff from the dollar store, but that had helped save many a day for me.
anyhow, remember, they will grow up faster than you realize. But being a mommy sometimes is tough. Hugs4 -
nickssweetheart wrote: »Menu planning done! I have a lot of stuff to use up so I actually don't have much to buy this weekend. Still, some good sales on mushrooms, bell peppers, avocados, walnuts and lots of stone fruits. Main dishes: lentil stew, lemon artichoke risotto, mushroom zucchini fajitas with guacamole.
All those veggies sounds SO good! Great job with the menu planning!0 -
HGSmith0920 wrote: »So I did as @Snowflake1968 suggested and took a total mental health day. I sent almost the entire day reading. I finished 2 books and am more then half way through another. It felt good to do nothing but read. Although I will be honest, I ate like crap. I got take out for dinner because I was alone all afternoon and evening. But it was still a wonderful day. Although I had a whole list of things I wanted to get done that I didn't do. So now I'll have to do them over the weekend.
I'm now sitting at work looking at a folder full of emails and waiting to be yelled at for something I screwed up on Tuesday. I'm just really really hoping that the next 2 days goes super fast. I'm waiting to hear from my manager to see if she's coming back on Monday. Keep your fingers crossed and say some prayers that she is. This whole nightmare could be over shortly!
As for goals, I think I'll keep it simple today.
1. Log all food
2. Drink 4 bottles of water
3. Sleep by 12
4. Stay calm at work
5. Pray
I think that's all I'm going to do for today.
I hope that you enjoyed your mental health day and feel better. I truly hope you don't actually get yelled at at work. I have been managing people for over 20 years now. Yelling is not the way to gain respect or build a team. You need to coach and encourage. I truly believe people learn best from their mistakes. Praying your manager returns soon, you were so happy when you first started here it's sad to see you discontent now.1 -
Wowza! 40 new posts since yesterday evening! I'll catch up later, for now....
Recap W 7/11
1) Walked dog before work while load of laundry in washer / 3.15 mi 56:07 / stretched = happy dog & happy me
2) Prelogged all meals (leftovers + yellow beans tonight) & snacks / have 400+ net calories green ~ happy me, I can have extra snack or bigger portion of salmon or maybe that beer or glass of wine tonight = Net calories green 42, sodium -369, sugar -27, fiber & protein excellent & 12c water. No wine or beer, but added cranberry oatmeal cookie ~ yum!
3) Move hourly / stairs breaks at work = Fitbit 14,721 steps, 250+ steps 14/14 (boom!) & 35 floors
4) Evening: make tea / bring in laundry on line & remembered socks/underwear still in dryer all folded and upstairs / refill birdfeeders (forgot last night) & check/refill birdbaths / city band concert 7:30 decided to stay home / prep veggie snack for Th kohlrabi / 1 more to-do? meal planned/made grocery list & washed dishes
5) Unplug 9:00 / floss / retainers / bed & TV off 10:15 fell asleep before 10 watching TV in bed & eventually turned off TV (maybe cross-train or rest day Th a.m. (stormy weather predicted) / remember appt for oil change 8 a.m.)
JFT R 7/12 ~ decided to reset snooze alarm ~ rest day & car's oil change 8 a.m.
1) All meals & snacks prelogged / stick w/ plan / keep net calories w/i 100 (allowed non-workout days)
2) Move hourly (not counting waiting for car to be serviced) / stairs breaks at work
3) Workday already stressful due to incompetence of others + impact on project deadline / b-r-e-a-t-h-e / adjust project one step at a time as needed & keep mgmt in loop
4) Evening: grocery shop / make broccoli salad for F / prep veggie snack for F / 1-2 more to-do's
5) Unplug 9:00 / FLOSS / RETAINERS / bed & TV off 10:15 (walk dog weather permitting F a.m. or cross-train)1 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »We are new to the world of streaming TV. We've had Amazon Prime for over a year but just really started using the Video part. Then my daughter signed us into her Netflix account. We watch a few movies, but have just started watching series. We are not big binge TV watchers unless the weather is absolute crap; if we watch three episodes in a row that is a binge. We finished Rome (which really made me want to watch the "I, Claudius' series. Anyone ever see that back in the 70's?) and now we have started The Sopranos. I am not into the whole mafia glorification thing, but this is some good writing and storytelling.
I love to hear what others think is good to watch. Some things I have enjoyed in the world of commercial TV: Boston Legal; The West Wing; Law and Order; Star Trek; Family Guy; South Park; Big Bang Theory- especially the first couple of years when they were more geeky; NCIS; ER; Crossing Jordan; In Living Color; SCTV. My reality fixes have been the Amazing Race, Survivor and Hell's Kitchen.
So what should I put on my future list - and why?
I love all family type shows. My favourites that are on Netflix Canada, which is different than US is This is Us, Sons of Anarchy (even though its violent they do thing in the name of Family). I watched Season 1 of Good Girls on tv and my daughter told me Netflix just put it on there. It was good for a laugh and some drama. I am not a big binge watcher either. Except Grace and Frankie and The Ranch. I watch those two in one evening when they post a new season.
My husband found The Ranch on a recommendation from my daughter. He thought it was so funny that he did do a binge and watched all the seasons in a few days when we had a lot of rain. It was funny but I don't think I would binge it. A little too raunchy for me to take in more than one or two episodes at a time. ( I do not mind the humor, I just take it in smaller doses.) Son's of Anarchy? OK - added to the one day list. I do hear that the concept and work is good.
Thanks!0 -
cschmitz110515 wrote: »We are new to the world of streaming TV. We've had Amazon Prime for over a year but just really started using the Video part. Then my daughter signed us into her Netflix account. We watch a few movies, but have just started watching series. We are not big binge TV watchers unless the weather is absolute crap; if we watch three episodes in a row that is a binge. We finished Rome (which really made me want to watch the "I, Claudius' series. Anyone ever see that back in the 70's?) and now we have started The Sopranos. I am not into the whole mafia glorification thing, but this is some good writing and storytelling.
I love to hear what others think is good to watch. Some things I have enjoyed in the world of commercial TV: Boston Legal; The West Wing; Law and Order; Star Trek; Family Guy; South Park; Big Bang Theory- especially the first couple of years when they were more geeky; NCIS; ER; Crossing Jordan; In Living Color; SCTV. My reality fixes have been the Amazing Race, Survivor and Hell's Kitchen.
So what should I put on my future list - and why?
Couple of my favs are The Closer (on TNT 7 seasons) and its subsequent spin-off Major Crimes. I have the whole West Wing series, and love L&O, Big Bang Theory, NCIS, ER. I also watch lot of PBS series/shows. If available I will always watch reruns of Columbo, Murphy Brown, MASH, and Mary Tyler Moore Show.
We definitely have similar tastes. I remember when there was this wonderful two hour block with the Mary Tyler Moore Show, Bob Newhart Show and then an hour of Carol Burnett. Back then my family would sit together and watch TV; the teenagers and parents all found it funny. We also had a family jones going on for The Muppet Show.
Those same rascally parents also brought me to the world of PBS. Back when the Six Wives of Henry VIII and I,Claudius were racy TV. Now I catch NOVA when I can and love to stumble across the beautiful nature type shows. Needless to say I was addicted to Downton Abbey. I wish I had more time for quality TV, but my body needs movement more.4 -
JFT
Went on a short walk before eating breakfast
had 2 glasses of water
had a good breakfast with a piece of fruit on the side
fed my fish and my chipmunk friend outside
froze the bread that will be expiring tomorrow that way I'm not wasting any bread
left to do
grocery shopping
planning my meals for the week
taking garbage out
My weight may have gone up last week, but I noticed this week one of my shirts is fitting better2 -
@bex953172 I am so sorry she is stressing you out. I am normally a lurker, and find everyone inspiring, but thought I would stop in because I understand your frustration. Take my advice for whatever it is worth. Now that she is a little older the reward chart might be very helpful. (She can probably, understand the consequences better now.) She might be having a hard time adjusting to having a new sister around, and less of mom’s attention. Maybe if she is having a good day (start out small on expectations, maybe she just did her chores), she can pick a reward such as 10 minutes cuddle time with mom, a story read from mom or dad, an extra few minutes to splash around in the tub, a game of Ring around the Rosies, or helping mom in the kitchen, set her on the counter, scoot a chair she can stand on, she can hold the bowl, or mix something. You can work up to bigger rewards for say having 3 or 4 good days in a row. Picnic in the living room, a pillow fight, Bubbles in the back yard, coloring with mom and dad.
Sometimes they just need a time out (over stimulation, being tired can cause crankiness and not willing to listen.) Does she take a nap, or just have quiet time, where she just needs to lay down with a book or a stuffed animal. (She might be at that stage where naps aren’t worth the fight.)
And sometimes they just need to be in time out, where mom walks away and ignores her tantrum. I was a single mom when my youngest hit the terrible 3, 4, and 5’s. She threw killer temper tantrums. Sometimes I would have to hold her with my legs and arms around here because she would kick and hit. I would try putting her in the bathroom as time out she would kick the walls and scream so loud. I was sure the neighbors would call child welfare on me, so I never left her in there long enough to make a difference. Finally, when I had someone around I could trust with my kids (hopefully dad can help) I would put her in time out, and leave the house. This gave me a chance to escape the stress, and let her know that her tantrums were not going to get my attention anymore. My partner could just ignore her screaming and set her back on her time out spot, without it killing him emotionally. He would just text me when she was done and I would come home. It took a few times (5-6), but the tantrums became fewer and fewer. Now she rarely has a tantrum. We also taught her ways to handle her anger as well, such as breathing and counting to ten to help her calm down. If she was able to calm herself from her tantrum she was praised for it. As she has gotten older, we have shown her that bad behavior leads to us not being able to do fun things with her.
Now it has been over a year since she threw anything close to a tantrum, and usually I can just tell her her behavior or attitude is crossing the line.
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Love reading all the advice we share with one another (whether it's health or personal). Such a supportive group!
Log onto Happy Scale.
Check out "taste of home" thank you @mytiime6630
Try to stay in a calorie deficit-1600.
Pretracked all meals today.
25 min walk with dog at beach after dropping son off at tutor.
Meditate for 20-25 mins.
Stronglifts today and some ab work.
9:30 pm bedtime-big struggle here. I'm determined to get to bed earlier!!
I've been weight training for a few months now. I've only missed a few weeks due to flu but worked slowly on my recovery. My strength & posture have improved. My knee pain & weakness is gone. No drastic changes in physique but subtle ones. The first month I struggled to approach the barbells but I stuck with it. It was such an intimidating part of the gym to me. The other lifters don't even even notice me now and I sometimes get my son to "spot" me For anyone who is hesitant to enter the gym, remind yourself that you deserve this time to yourself, this is your journey and remember your "why".
"If not now, when?"
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Snowflake1968 wrote: »mytime6630 wrote: »OK @Bex ---- are you drinking your water!!!!! Diet coach here checking on you today!
I will be today. Its 6am here. I'm in a bad mood because its 6am. Getting sick of being woken this early by the kids.
My 4 year old is being a total nightmare, constantly, all day. I can't take it anymore. I've talked to her., shouted at her, put her in her room, put her on the step, pleaded with her, burst into tears begging her to stop and then even her dad got involved basically doing the same thing and she just did not stop.
Hence the awful day. I just don't know what to do anymore. She doesn't listen to a word I say. Not a word. Or she will for about 30 seconds before I'm having to tell her again.
Oh honey, what is she doing specifically? Is she the middle child?
She's the eldest.
She's got sudden separation anxiety but I find it smothering. Say for example she's in the lounge. If I go use the toilet she will then start screaming for me. Just now she's asked to watch a film in her room that we bought her today, she's been out her room about 20 times just to see if im okay. Which sounds nice right? In a way, but then when she is with me she back chats, I ask her to do anything it's "I don't want to" or "in a minute" or she asks why. Anything I ask her not to do she does do. Like to stop getting right in caseys face, to stop screaming in Marleys face and to stop running around, to stop banging the furniture. As soon as I've told her to stop doing something I'm telling her to stop doing something else. So I think right I'll let them in the garden to play. And she's just in and out, in and out, in and out.
She always does little things to her sister Marley and Marleys response is to scream full pelt. So I'm. Shouting at her for screaming and then saskia for winding her up.
And it's just stuff like that, I wouldn't mind it every now and then, that's kids. But it's every day all day.
What annoys me is she can only have learnt it from me as I'm the main caregiver for all of them (my partner helps obv but I do the majority) and I don't know how to change it all around when she's probably only copying my behaviour. Thing is my behaviour came from being depressed but now I'm not and she's being. Like that thinking that's normal.
So basically I messed up. I don't know how to fix it and it's just in some massive cycle I don't know how to break.2 -
mytime6630 wrote: »
I will be today. Its 6am here. I'm in a bad mood because its 6am. Getting sick of being woken this early by the kids.
My 4 year old is being a total nightmare, constantly, all day. I can't take it anymore. I've talked to her., shouted at her, put her in her room, put her on the step, pleaded with her, burst into tears begging her to stop and then even her dad got involved basically doing the same thing and she just did not stop.
Hence the awful day. I just don't know what to do anymore. She doesn't listen to a word I say. Not a word. Or she will for about 30 seconds before I'm having to tell her again.
Isn't it fun!! OH, how I remember so much those days .... and I only had 2 kids! They seem to sense when we are tired, and its like they love to keep pushing buttons. Do they have a good TV show that they like .... just to give yourself a little break? I know I never wanted kids in front of the tv, but sometimes that was all that would work to quiet them down.
I used to keep a box of special little "toys" that I hid, and if the kids would be really bad, I would tell them if they did so and so, or helped extra, they would get to pick out a toy. They loved it. It was always cheap stuff from the dollar store, but that had helped save many a day for me.
anyhow, remember, they will grow up faster than you realize. But being a mommy sometimes is tough. Hugs
See this is where I've gone wrong. The TV is on all day. It's just background noise. The films are the special treats. They don't really have special toys. They just use all their toys.
I will turn the TV off sometimes so they will use their toys but they mostly use both in the day but if they start slobbing about watching it all day I turn it off.
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@bex953172 I am so sorry she is stressing you out. I am normally a lurker, and find everyone inspiring, but thought I would stop in because I understand your frustration. Take my advice for whatever it is worth. Now that she is a little older the reward chart might be very helpful. (She can probably, understand the consequences better now.) She might be having a hard time adjusting to having a new sister around, and less of mom’s attention. Maybe if she is having a good day (start out small on expectations, maybe she just did her chores), she can pick a reward such as 10 minutes cuddle time with mom, a story read from mom or dad, an extra few minutes to splash around in the tub, a game of Ring around the Rosies, or helping mom in the kitchen, set her on the counter, scoot a chair she can stand on, she can hold the bowl, or mix something. You can work up to bigger rewards for say having 3 or 4 good days in a row. Picnic in the living room, a pillow fight, Bubbles in the back yard, coloring with mom and dad.
Sometimes they just need a time out (over stimulation, being tired can cause crankiness and not willing to listen.) Does she take a nap, or just have quiet time, where she just needs to lay down with a book or a stuffed animal. (She might be at that stage where naps aren’t worth the fight.)
And sometimes they just need to be in time out, where mom walks away and ignores her tantrum. I was a single mom when my youngest hit the terrible 3, 4, and 5’s. She threw killer temper tantrums. Sometimes I would have to hold her with my legs and arms around here because she would kick and hit. I would try putting her in the bathroom as time out she would kick the walls and scream so loud. I was sure the neighbors would call child welfare on me, so I never left her in there long enough to make a difference. Finally, when I had someone around I could trust with my kids (hopefully dad can help) I would put her in time out, and leave the house. This gave me a chance to escape the stress, and let her know that her tantrums were not going to get my attention anymore. My partner could just ignore her screaming and set her back on her time out spot, without it killing him emotionally. He would just text me when she was done and I would come home. It took a few times (5-6), but the tantrums became fewer and fewer. Now she rarely has a tantrum. We also taught her ways to handle her anger as well, such as breathing and counting to ten to help her calm down. If she was able to calm herself from her tantrum she was praised for it. As she has gotten older, we have shown her that bad behavior leads to us not being able to do fun things with her.
Now it has been over a year since she threw anything close to a tantrum, and usually I can just tell her her behavior or attitude is crossing the line.
Thank you for this! So nice of you to come out of lurking to message me.
I feel like a rubbish parent half the time. I constantly worry I'm going to mess them up. I always seem to do things wrong4 -
It's 6pm and I just hit my water goal
For those struggling with water, I have just the trick
Eat something ibg that is just stupidly spicy.
I just drank 4 cups consecutively because of a darn hot wing LOL!6 -
@bex953172 I am so sorry she is stressing you out. I am normally a lurker, and find everyone inspiring, but thought I would stop in because I understand your frustration. Take my advice for whatever it is worth. Now that she is a little older the reward chart might be very helpful. (She can probably, understand the consequences better now.) She might be having a hard time adjusting to having a new sister around, and less of mom’s attention. Maybe if she is having a good day (start out small on expectations, maybe she just did her chores), she can pick a reward such as 10 minutes cuddle time with mom, a story read from mom or dad, an extra few minutes to splash around in the tub, a game of Ring around the Rosies, or helping mom in the kitchen, set her on the counter, scoot a chair she can stand on, she can hold the bowl, or mix something. You can work up to bigger rewards for say having 3 or 4 good days in a row. Picnic in the living room, a pillow fight, Bubbles in the back yard, coloring with mom and dad.
Sometimes they just need a time out (over stimulation, being tired can cause crankiness and not willing to listen.) Does she take a nap, or just have quiet time, where she just needs to lay down with a book or a stuffed animal. (She might be at that stage where naps aren’t worth the fight.)
And sometimes they just need to be in time out, where mom walks away and ignores her tantrum. I was a single mom when my youngest hit the terrible 3, 4, and 5’s. She threw killer temper tantrums. Sometimes I would have to hold her with my legs and arms around here because she would kick and hit. I would try putting her in the bathroom as time out she would kick the walls and scream so loud. I was sure the neighbors would call child welfare on me, so I never left her in there long enough to make a difference. Finally, when I had someone around I could trust with my kids (hopefully dad can help) I would put her in time out, and leave the house. This gave me a chance to escape the stress, and let her know that her tantrums were not going to get my attention anymore. My partner could just ignore her screaming and set her back on her time out spot, without it killing him emotionally. He would just text me when she was done and I would come home. It took a few times (5-6), but the tantrums became fewer and fewer. Now she rarely has a tantrum. We also taught her ways to handle her anger as well, such as breathing and counting to ten to help her calm down. If she was able to calm herself from her tantrum she was praised for it. As she has gotten older, we have shown her that bad behavior leads to us not being able to do fun things with her.
Now it has been over a year since she threw anything close to a tantrum, and usually I can just tell her her behavior or attitude is crossing the line.
Thank you for this! So nice of you to come out of lurking to message me.
I feel like a rubbish parent half the time. I constantly worry I'm going to mess them up. I always seem to do things wrong
You mustnt do this! Firstly, you are most definitely not a bad parent. A bad parent wouldn’t care or worry or analyse their behaviour the way you do. Secondly, these little people pick up your anxiety, even if they don’t understand it. If she is subconsciously worried about you that may explain the separation anxiety...
Tough as it sounds, it might be time to get really firm. Reward every positive and be consistent with every sanction. Don’t give in, don’t doubt yourself or undermine yourself by giving up and handing it to your partner. You can totally do this - just tell yourself you need to be firm to make her feel safe. They need the boundaries, even though they fight against them. X4 -
See this is where I've gone wrong. The TV is on all day. It's just background noise. The films are the special treats. They don't really have special toys. They just use all their toys.
I will turn the TV off sometimes so they will use their toys but they mostly use both in the day but if they start slobbing about watching it all day I turn it off.
I think the "special" toys would work perfectly then! Sometimes just a new toy, or a new pack of crayons or notebook ... something different! Do you have "dollar stores" where you live? Here we do, and everything only cost $1.00 ... yes, their cheap stuff, but great entertainment for a little one.
Or ... maybe a special movie or something they don't get to see much. But ... it could also be just being cooped up. I was that way yesterday LOL!!! It has been SO hot here .... even though I get out ... there is nothing like being outside to play! Hang in there .... and vent whenever you want!
and you STOP thinking you are a bad parent, and are messing up. You are a great mommy!!!
My brother had what I thought we "perfect" kids. I remember once saying to my mom that his kids were so good ... they would sit on the couch like little angels, while my kids were running around screaming, picking on each other, having tantrums if they didn't get what they wanted, etc etc.
My mom told me that NO ... his kids were not normal kids. A normal kid does what mine were doing .... testing their limits, having tantrums to see if you will give into their demands, picking on each other. This is just a normal part of growing up... so you have normal kids - they are just testing you to see what they can get away with, might be just bored, etc.
And please don't ever let my situation with my daughter scare you. Parenting has absolutely nothing to do with what we are dealing with ... my daughter had mental illness in her genes, and no matter what we did, it was unavoidable. So please do not ever let that scare you ... you are doing a great job! Parenting is absolutely the hardest job in the world .... so give yourself lots of credit!
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mytime6630 wrote: »
See this is where I've gone wrong. The TV is on all day. It's just background noise. The films are the special treats. They don't really have special toys. They just use all their toys.
I will turn the TV off sometimes so they will use their toys but they mostly use both in the day but if they start slobbing about watching it all day I turn it off.
I think the "special" toys would work perfectly then! Sometimes just a new toy, or a new pack of colors or notebook ... something different! Do you have "dollar stores" where you live? Here we do, and everything only cost $1.00 ... yes, their cheap stuff, but great entertainment for a little one.
Or ... maybe a special movie or something they don't get to see much. But ... it could also be just being cooped up. I was that way yesterday LOL!!! It has been SO hot here .... even though I get out ... there is nothing like being outside to play! Hang in there .... and vent whenever you want!
We do! Poundland haha
I was in there today picking up my little diary thing.
I did look for gold stars for a reward chart but they didn't have any in..
She's very fun orientated. She loves having fun. Maybe her reward could be a game with me.5 -
I've been weight training for a few months now. I've only missed a few weeks due to flu but worked slowly on my recovery. My strength & posture have improved. My knee pain & weakness is gone. No drastic changes in physique but subtle ones. The first month I struggled to approach the barbells but I stuck with it. It was such an intimidating part of the gym to me. The other lifters don't even even notice me now and I sometimes get my son to "spot" me For anyone who is hesitant to enter the gym, remind yourself that you deserve this time to yourself, this is your journey and remember your "why".
"If not now, when?"
I am the same way. While my weight has stayed the same, I feel so much stronger, my shorts fit better, even hubby told me my arms are firming up. I tend to do a lot of cardio because I like how I feel, but I need to concentrate more on the weight lifting part. Great job you are doing!4 -
Love reading all the advice we share with one another (whether it's health or personal). Such a supportive group!
Totally agree!! This is the nicest, best group of friends! I am so thankful everyday for all of you. It is motivating to read the posts, and know how truly wonderful so many people are in this world. Love you all5 -
So the loan department came and gave us breaks today. The branch was so cold that I actually decided to run home and grab my sweater and spend a few minutes with the DH. It was really really nice. I came back and my coworker took an hour lunch so that was even better. Now there's less then 2.5 hours left in the day. Tomorrow with another break and then my manager is back!!!! This nightmare is almost over!!! I'm literally trying so hard not to jump for joy! Lol.
I hope everyone is having a great day. Mine will be much better after 515 I think.6 -
AND I just found out that she may be leaving next Friday instead of the Wednesday after next! Lol1
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@Bex953172
"They need boundaries." Yes yes yes. And be consistent in keeping those boundaries. Boundaries and consistency really helped me keep order in the home. If it isn't allowed today it won't be tomorrow. Yes, children tend to mimic us...and it seems they are more quick to pick up the negative actions than the positive ones! Training up children is hard hard hard! But as they see the consistency and begin to follow it, it truly does become easier...kids need and thrive on routine,we all want to know what is expected of us at work. And it's frustrating when the boss continuously changes the rules...same at home. Especially when you are getting the routine going...even if it means you have to sacrifice opportunities for awhile. No exceptions until it all becomes routine and the children are cooperating.
You have already started doing this by having them pick up toys at the same time each day, helping you in the kitchen each day. It is up to you to keep this going---they sure won't. And again, that probably means no outside events messing up the routine for awhile.
With regards to needing to be assured that you are okay and that her world is okay... I don't have experience in that situation although I do know it is common. (I dealt with other issues, lol) I like @phedrjd 's idea of earning time with mom for good behavior...just the two of you reading a book, or painting her nails, etc. I really like everyone's input!
You are going to mess up...how do I know? Because you are HUMAN! You are a proactive mom, and that's wonderful. Yes, the walk to the nursery was probably good for both of you and if you can walk her back, it will be more exercise for her to wear herself down.
(I suggest you turn off the tv and use music for background noise...and not the head banging kind either, lol...lots of kid tapes out there) (Hey my reply was only a short story in length and not a novel today, lolol)3 -
1 Week Plan (part 1, Wed-Fri)
Wednesday
- Drink 8 glasses of water ❎ Total bust of a day, don't even want to get into it.
Thursday
- 8 glasses of water ✔️ yes had about 10, feeling much better for it too
- nursery walk x2✔️ 1 and a half, I walked there to pick her up but my partner was in the town centre shopping so came and grabbed us all
- log food✔️ yep, I have a couple of things to add, I think I'll be in the green or at least close to. But the aim wasn't to be in the green.. It was just to log.
Friday
- 8 glasses of water
- nursery walk x2
- log food
- exercise
- 1 piece of Marleys birthday cake!
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@Bex953172 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARLEY!!! She's turning 3 right?1
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JFT - July 13th
Eat home-prepared food only
Weigh and Log everything
Drink 4 litres of water
Drink only coffee, tea, water today
60 mins cardio, including a swim
20 mins strength
---
For Child 1:
homework focus: writing and reading
go to the playground
For Child 2:
Pack for trip
For Child 3:
go for a walk together
Remember : today is NOT a cheat day
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