The art of conversation
Replies
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I still like to meet and talk to people face to face where I can stidy their body language too. I hate calling people on the phone and texting can be taken so out of context.4
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skctilidie wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »manderson27 wrote: »
A bit off the point but confirming the power of talking on a device as opposed to in person. I saw a mother the other day walking through a crowded shopping center texting on her phone and completely ignoring her little girl of around 4 who was trailing further and further behind. Anyone could have walked off with her. It hurt my heart that her mum's texting was more important than that little girls safety in a crowded place.
In a similar vein, today I was walking behind a fellow and his little girl, she was probably about 3 or 4 years old. They headed into a school playground. My first thought was, awww, that's so sweet, daddy taking his daughter to the playground. As soon as they stepped off the sidewalk the little girl ran to the climbing equipment... and dad immediately glued himself to (reading) his phone. Dude, maybe you should pay a little more attention to what your youngster is doing?
Ehh, I’ve got 4 kids. I’m with them all the time. They get plenty of love and attention and interaction, but I’m also a big believer in fostering independence and solo play and letting them learn and explore on their own. Kids learn best through play and they thrive on the freedom to play without someone guiding them and hovering over them.
At the age of the kid in your story, I’d absolutely let them play on an appropriate playground while I sat a short distance away and scrolled or texted or talked to someone. Now my youngest is 7 and they’re all very strong swimmers, so I’ll even take them to the neighborhood pool and take a book rather than getting in with them sometimes.
Even if I don’t look like I’m paying attention, I’m always aware of where they are, what they’re up to, and who’s around them. I won’t refuse if they ask me to come play with them for a while, but I like for them to have the chance to learn how to do their own thing. Learning to make decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions is important, so I prefer to give them the space and freedom to do so and don’t intervene unless they’re making choices that could be harmful to someone.
Welp, I found my mommy spirit animal.
Can't imagine four kiddos though. One is a handful on his own!
There’s a little over 11 years between my oldest and youngest, which helped. Now if I could just get the big one to learn to drive and coerce him into doing some of the chauffeuring for the younger ones’ activities (one goes to a coding/robotics club while the other two live for soccer), life would be pretty grand.
Ha ha, good luck. I didn't learn to drive until I was 20. I showed no interest until then, despite my father's efforts.2 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »manderson27 wrote: »
A bit off the point but confirming the power of talking on a device as opposed to in person. I saw a mother the other day walking through a crowded shopping center texting on her phone and completely ignoring her little girl of around 4 who was trailing further and further behind. Anyone could have walked off with her. It hurt my heart that her mum's texting was more important than that little girls safety in a crowded place.
In a similar vein, today I was walking behind a fellow and his little girl, she was probably about 3 or 4 years old. They headed into a school playground. My first thought was, awww, that's so sweet, daddy taking his daughter to the playground. As soon as they stepped off the sidewalk the little girl ran to the climbing equipment... and dad immediately glued himself to (reading) his phone. Dude, maybe you should pay a little more attention to what your youngster is doing?
Ehh, I’ve got 4 kids. I’m with them all the time. They get plenty of love and attention and interaction, but I’m also a big believer in fostering independence and solo play and letting them learn and explore on their own. Kids learn best through play and they thrive on the freedom to play without someone guiding them and hovering over them.
At the age of the kid in your story, I’d absolutely let them play on an appropriate playground while I sat a short distance away and scrolled or texted or talked to someone. Now my youngest is 7 and they’re all very strong swimmers, so I’ll even take them to the neighborhood pool and take a book rather than getting in with them sometimes.
Even if I don’t look like I’m paying attention, I’m always aware of where they are, what they’re up to, and who’s around them. I won’t refuse if they ask me to come play with them for a while, but I like for them to have the chance to learn how to do their own thing. Learning to make decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions is important, so I prefer to give them the space and freedom to do so and don’t intervene unless they’re making choices that could be harmful to someone.
Welp, I found my mommy spirit animal.
Can't imagine four kiddos though. One is a handful on his own!
There’s a little over 11 years between my oldest and youngest, which helped. Now if I could just get the big one to learn to drive and coerce him into doing some of the chauffeuring for the younger ones’ activities (one goes to a coding/robotics club while the other two live for soccer), life would be pretty grand.
Ha ha, good luck. I didn't learn to drive until I was 20. I showed no interest until then, despite my father's efforts.
Same here. I never understood the appeal1 -
Breezybreeze7 wrote: »I still like to meet and talk to people face to face where I can stidy their body language too. I hate calling people on the phone and texting can be taken so out of context.
Texting can definitely be taken out of context. You are right about that.2 -
I'm sorry (headphones come off), did someone say something?1
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AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »manderson27 wrote: »
A bit off the point but confirming the power of talking on a device as opposed to in person. I saw a mother the other day walking through a crowded shopping center texting on her phone and completely ignoring her little girl of around 4 who was trailing further and further behind. Anyone could have walked off with her. It hurt my heart that her mum's texting was more important than that little girls safety in a crowded place.
In a similar vein, today I was walking behind a fellow and his little girl, she was probably about 3 or 4 years old. They headed into a school playground. My first thought was, awww, that's so sweet, daddy taking his daughter to the playground. As soon as they stepped off the sidewalk the little girl ran to the climbing equipment... and dad immediately glued himself to (reading) his phone. Dude, maybe you should pay a little more attention to what your youngster is doing?
Ehh, I’ve got 4 kids. I’m with them all the time. They get plenty of love and attention and interaction, but I’m also a big believer in fostering independence and solo play and letting them learn and explore on their own. Kids learn best through play and they thrive on the freedom to play without someone guiding them and hovering over them.
At the age of the kid in your story, I’d absolutely let them play on an appropriate playground while I sat a short distance away and scrolled or texted or talked to someone. Now my youngest is 7 and they’re all very strong swimmers, so I’ll even take them to the neighborhood pool and take a book rather than getting in with them sometimes.
Even if I don’t look like I’m paying attention, I’m always aware of where they are, what they’re up to, and who’s around them. I won’t refuse if they ask me to come play with them for a while, but I like for them to have the chance to learn how to do their own thing. Learning to make decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions is important, so I prefer to give them the space and freedom to do so and don’t intervene unless they’re making choices that could be harmful to someone.
Welp, I found my mommy spirit animal.
Can't imagine four kiddos though. One is a handful on his own!
There’s a little over 11 years between my oldest and youngest, which helped. Now if I could just get the big one to learn to drive and coerce him into doing some of the chauffeuring for the younger ones’ activities (one goes to a coding/robotics club while the other two live for soccer), life would be pretty grand.
Ha ha, good luck. I didn't learn to drive until I was 20. I showed no interest until then, despite my father's efforts.
Same here. I never understood the appeal
I dunno, roadtripping with the windows down and music blaring for miles is fun, but inner city driving or day-to-day stuff? No thanks. It sucks. If I can walk or bike, I'll do that instead.2 -
A lot of people are not even listening to what the other is saying. They are just waiting for a break in the conversation so they can say what they want to say.
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IMHO, there are two things at fault: the internet and the decline of volunteerism as a whole in American society. Because folks have to work longer hours, two or more jobs, etc., people don't have the time or energy to volunteer with social organizations (e.g., fire departments, Lion's Club, intramural sports teams) like they used to. So, folks stay in their cocoons (by necessity) and don't interact with other people that happen to have different views towards a common goal, like one does in social organizations.
And then, within these cocoons, people log in to social media sites, which tailor their algorithms so that users see content that caters to their views. (Yes, this sounds very tinfoil-hat of me, but this has been widely reported in the news, I just don't have the time at the moment to research it.) This reinforces already set-in beliefs. Then, when someone does come along and challenge those beliefs, there is a tendency to disregard those views outright, because they are so foreign to this carefully-constructed echo chamber.
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IMHO, there are two things at fault: the internet and the decline of volunteerism as a whole in American society. Because folks have to work longer hours, two or more jobs, etc., people don't have the time or energy to volunteer with social organizations (e.g., fire departments, Lion's Club, intramural sports teams) like they used to. So, folks stay in their cocoons (by necessity) and don't interact with other people that happen to have different views towards a common goal, like one does in social organizations.
And then, within these cocoons, people log in to social media sites, which tailor their algorithms so that users see content that caters to their views. (Yes, this sounds very tinfoil-hat of me, but this has been widely reported in the news, I just don't have the time at the moment to research it.) This reinforces already set-in beliefs. Then, when someone does come along and challenge those beliefs, there is a tendency to disregard those views outright, because they are so foreign to this carefully-constructed echo chamber.
I hadn't considered volunteerism as a contributor...that's very interesting!1 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »manderson27 wrote: »
A bit off the point but confirming the power of talking on a device as opposed to in person. I saw a mother the other day walking through a crowded shopping center texting on her phone and completely ignoring her little girl of around 4 who was trailing further and further behind. Anyone could have walked off with her. It hurt my heart that her mum's texting was more important than that little girls safety in a crowded place.
In a similar vein, today I was walking behind a fellow and his little girl, she was probably about 3 or 4 years old. They headed into a school playground. My first thought was, awww, that's so sweet, daddy taking his daughter to the playground. As soon as they stepped off the sidewalk the little girl ran to the climbing equipment... and dad immediately glued himself to (reading) his phone. Dude, maybe you should pay a little more attention to what your youngster is doing?
Ehh, I’ve got 4 kids. I’m with them all the time. They get plenty of love and attention and interaction, but I’m also a big believer in fostering independence and solo play and letting them learn and explore on their own. Kids learn best through play and they thrive on the freedom to play without someone guiding them and hovering over them.
At the age of the kid in your story, I’d absolutely let them play on an appropriate playground while I sat a short distance away and scrolled or texted or talked to someone. Now my youngest is 7 and they’re all very strong swimmers, so I’ll even take them to the neighborhood pool and take a book rather than getting in with them sometimes.
Even if I don’t look like I’m paying attention, I’m always aware of where they are, what they’re up to, and who’s around them. I won’t refuse if they ask me to come play with them for a while, but I like for them to have the chance to learn how to do their own thing. Learning to make decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions is important, so I prefer to give them the space and freedom to do so and don’t intervene unless they’re making choices that could be harmful to someone.
Welp, I found my mommy spirit animal.
Can't imagine four kiddos though. One is a handful on his own!
There’s a little over 11 years between my oldest and youngest, which helped. Now if I could just get the big one to learn to drive and coerce him into doing some of the chauffeuring for the younger ones’ activities (one goes to a coding/robotics club while the other two live for soccer), life would be pretty grand.
Ha ha, good luck. I didn't learn to drive until I was 20. I showed no interest until then, despite my father's efforts.
Same here. I never understood the appeal
I dunno, roadtripping with the windows down and music blaring for miles is fun, but inner city driving or day-to-day stuff? No thanks. It sucks. If I can walk or bike, I'll do that instead.
I like driving now but learning in was ambilivent. I walk most places around my neighbourhood but I am happy inhave a car and can drive now1 -
What's banana brulée0 -
AliNouveau wrote: »
What's banana brulée
It is banana deliciousness laid gently on a bed of dark chocolate, with the smoothest dollop of heavy cream and blueberries you've ever seen...
1 -
AliNouveau wrote: »
What's banana brulée
It is banana deliciousness laid gently on a bed of dark chocolate, with the smoothest dollop of heavy cream and blueberries you've ever seen...
How are they bruleed?0 -
This is a timely topic for me right now. I've recently ended one relationship due to lack of engagement during conversations and lack of interest on their part to live outside of their own little bubble.
There's also someone else in my life that is exactly the same way, but I'm required to have regular contact with them (due to mutual care-giving for my grandmother) and I really have to work on staying patient with someone who has zero interest regarding anything outside of their small little world and who can't seem to pay attention or remember anything I tell them.
I've found the responses to this thread interesting, so thank you for starting this thread.1 -
I just spent a lunch sitting in the dining area of our campus and people watched and people listened...nothing creepy, I swear...but what I overheard in brief snatches of a variety of conversations was interesting to me.
So, before diving in too deeply, is the art of conversation (meaning being engaged in the topic and having intelligent discussion) a lost art? Or am I just getting to be the jaded old man that screams, "Get off my lawn!" to the young whipersnappers of today...? Or do you even notice?
Having asked those question, I will simply state for now that a fair number of people in one-on-one conversations today seemed to spend a whole lot more time thinking about what they're going to say next, and how to sound smart saying it, than really hearing what the other person was saying...
As society moves on, and technology continues to evolve and integrate heavily into our lives, we're slowly losing our humanity. By this, I'm referring to things such as interpersonal communication, empathy towards each other, meaningful and true friendships, and a slew other aspects.
Why? Because while we have these "great and wonderful" means of communicating with one another. We're losing how to communicate on a personal level. When you don't see someone, or hear their voices, it becomes a little impersonal. Add to it that nearly everyone now communicates via written word, it becomes one sides as people formulate their responses and it becomes rather linear instead of dynamic.2 -
AliNouveau wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »
What's banana brulée
It is banana deliciousness laid gently on a bed of dark chocolate, with the smoothest dollop of heavy cream and blueberries you've ever seen...
How are they bruleed?
The bananas are sliced thin and quickly caramelized with a torch...just enough to heat up the sugars...1 -
This is a timely topic for me right now. I've recently ended one relationship due to lack of engagement during conversations and lack of interest on their part to live outside of their own little bubble.
There's also someone else in my life that is exactly the same way, but I'm required to have regular contact with them (due to mutual care-giving for my grandmother) and I really have to work on staying patient with someone who has zero interest regarding anything outside of their small little world and who can't seem to pay attention or remember anything I tell them.
I've found the responses to this thread interesting, so thank you for starting this thread.
I completely understand, having similar situations, where you are coming from! The folks here who have responded have incredibly thoughtful and insightful comments that consistently help me open up my mind a bit wider to help with my perspective that is admittedly narrow at times!0 -
xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »I just spent a lunch sitting in the dining area of our campus and people watched and people listened...nothing creepy, I swear...but what I overheard in brief snatches of a variety of conversations was interesting to me.
So, before diving in too deeply, is the art of conversation (meaning being engaged in the topic and having intelligent discussion) a lost art? Or am I just getting to be the jaded old man that screams, "Get off my lawn!" to the young whipersnappers of today...? Or do you even notice?
Having asked those question, I will simply state for now that a fair number of people in one-on-one conversations today seemed to spend a whole lot more time thinking about what they're going to say next, and how to sound smart saying it, than really hearing what the other person was saying...
As society moves on, and technology continues to evolve and integrate heavily into our lives, we're slowly losing our humanity. By this, I'm referring to things such as interpersonal communication, empathy towards each other, meaningful and true friendships, and a slew other aspects.
Why? Because while we have these "great and wonderful" means of communicating with one another. We're losing how to communicate on a personal level. When you don't see someone, or hear their voices, it becomes a little impersonal. Add to it that nearly everyone now communicates via written word, it becomes one sides as people formulate their responses and it becomes rather linear instead of dynamic.
Yes! This ^ ! One of my strongest feelings is that work email was the first ring of the death bell of personal communication as we know it. Personal emails I thought were a novel way of keeping in touch with relatives or friends far away and were way faster than a letter, slower than a phone call, but could be done still in a very thoughtful way. Today, when the guy who sits less than 15 feet away from me wastes my time by sending me an email to ask a ridiculous question when he could have literally raised his voice a bit and asked me without leaving his desk...? Nope...so I yelled back the answer...0 -
rickswifey83 wrote: »^^I completely agree. Also when people hit "Reply All". For example, today I walked in and told my coworker "Happy Birthday" because it is her birthday. Another coworker who sits next to us emailed "Happy Birthday" to the birthday girl with a distribution of about 25 other associates. All day I have been getting emails with "Happy Birthday" replies. Why couldn't they just interact in person and tell her Happy Birthday? Was that so difficult?
Exactly right!0
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