The art of conversation
Replies
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AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »I think so many people are always in a rush and don't have time
I talk to lots of people. I made friendswirj drugstore, now hardware store Wolverine. He asks after my family, he's told me about his. He tells me what he's lifting and eating and what he weighs.
I think the art of convos is just dying cause we don't have time. I have lots of time so I talk.
I think people have more time than they are willing to admit. If we spent less doing certain things that didn't matter in the long run, we would find we had way more free time than we previously thought.
Most of the time (and mind you, this is just anecdotal), people say they don't have time when in reality, they are using it as an excuse to actively not engage because using their cellphones or computers at home have become more important and possibly comforting. I do not know, however, if they are running from actual conversation because it doesn't interest them, they find some comfort in isolating themselves or if they have anxiety issues.
But very few people who say they "don't have time" actually have more time than they let on. I'm guilty of this; I'm sure I'm not alone.
You have a point but many do overload their schedules. We want to do it all, heaven forbid we miss out on an experience.
We're in Saskatchewan right now and have been in small towns. We went for a walk with someone for her to shown us something we were looking for. It was so quaint and nice
I suppose. I do not know what that's like unless it's in relation to crafts/art, lol. I make myself a list for every day and pretty rigidly stick to it, but do not schedule multiple appt. for myself in a day.
It helps that I work from home and do my own thing, though.. so I get time to people watch and interact.
I get stressed when i have a schedule to stick to. I get really anxious when inhave time constraints. I have lots of neighbourhood mom friends who rattle off their schedules and it's insane. One boy we get for playdates often because the mom is off with the other two brothers for hockey. Seems like they're always rushing around.
I'd be miserable living like that
Eh, it's more like a "to do" list than a schedule. I just make sure I don't actually schedule multiple appointments in the same day if I have to go/be somewhere.
I have a kid, but I haven't figured out this weird thing other moms do where they schedule their kids for all these random after school activities so they aren't home until well after 7PM every night. Seems way more stressful to me than necessary. If the kid was interested in the activity, I would understand.. but we're talking about classes and things that the parents decided the child should take, but that maybe he or she isn't old enough to really appreciate or be interested in it. Just seems more like busywork.
I let my boy pretty much pick what he wants to do. I'm kind of a hippie that way? Also if he doesn't feel like going chances are I don't so we skip it. I'm a terrible parent.
Cool. We can be terrible together as this is pretty much what I do. He hasn't expressed interest in much outside of swimming, video games and LEGOs, so that's what we do together. If it changes and he wants to play sports or try out an after school class, I'll give it a shot.. but so far? Nah.1 -
AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »I think so many people are always in a rush and don't have time
I talk to lots of people. I made friendswirj drugstore, now hardware store Wolverine. He asks after my family, he's told me about his. He tells me what he's lifting and eating and what he weighs.
I think the art of convos is just dying cause we don't have time. I have lots of time so I talk.
I think people have more time than they are willing to admit. If we spent less doing certain things that didn't matter in the long run, we would find we had way more free time than we previously thought.
Most of the time (and mind you, this is just anecdotal), people say they don't have time when in reality, they are using it as an excuse to actively not engage because using their cellphones or computers at home have become more important and possibly comforting. I do not know, however, if they are running from actual conversation because it doesn't interest them, they find some comfort in isolating themselves or if they have anxiety issues.
But very few people who say they "don't have time" actually have more time than they let on. I'm guilty of this; I'm sure I'm not alone.
You have a point but many do overload their schedules. We want to do it all, heaven forbid we miss out on an experience.
We're in Saskatchewan right now and have been in small towns. We went for a walk with someone for her to shown us something we were looking for. It was so quaint and nice
I suppose. I do not know what that's like unless it's in relation to crafts/art, lol. I make myself a list for every day and pretty rigidly stick to it, but do not schedule multiple appt. for myself in a day.
It helps that I work from home and do my own thing, though.. so I get time to people watch and interact.
I get stressed when i have a schedule to stick to. I get really anxious when inhave time constraints. I have lots of neighbourhood mom friends who rattle off their schedules and it's insane. One boy we get for playdates often because the mom is off with the other two brothers for hockey. Seems like they're always rushing around.
I'd be miserable living like that
We are pretty much polar opposites. The only way I could get through most of my days is through scheduling. Not only having a plan what I need to do, but a plan on how I'm going to do it. Years ago I went to a business seminar and they told me, don't get through your day by accident, make a plan and go for it. Even if something happens and you need to deviate from the original plan, most days you will not believe how much you can get done.3 -
People have time. When I was working 2 jobs and going to school I still made time for important people. Most adults probably dont want to or cant stay on the phone for hours but I think problems with communication nowadays boil down to people just beimg lazy.4
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manderson27 wrote: »
A bit off the point but confirming the power of talking on a device as opposed to in person. I saw a mother the other day walking through a crowded shopping center texting on her phone and completely ignoring her little girl of around 4 who was trailing further and further behind. Anyone could have walked off with her. It hurt my heart that her mum's texting was more important than that little girls safety in a crowded place.
In a similar vein, today I was walking behind a fellow and his little girl, she was probably about 3 or 4 years old. They headed into a school playground. My first thought was, awww, that's so sweet, daddy taking his daughter to the playground. As soon as they stepped off the sidewalk the little girl ran to the climbing equipment... and dad immediately glued himself to (reading) his phone. Dude, maybe you should pay a little more attention to what your youngster is doing?
Ehh, I’ve got 4 kids. I’m with them all the time. They get plenty of love and attention and interaction, but I’m also a big believer in fostering independence and solo play and letting them learn and explore on their own. Kids learn best through play and they thrive on the freedom to play without someone guiding them and hovering over them.
At the age of the kid in your story, I’d absolutely let them play on an appropriate playground while I sat a short distance away and scrolled or texted or talked to someone. Now my youngest is 7 and they’re all very strong swimmers, so I’ll even take them to the neighborhood pool and take a book rather than getting in with them sometimes.
Even if I don’t look like I’m paying attention, I’m always aware of where they are, what they’re up to, and who’s around them. I won’t refuse if they ask me to come play with them for a while, but I like for them to have the chance to learn how to do their own thing. Learning to make decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions is important, so I prefer to give them the space and freedom to do so and don’t intervene unless they’re making choices that could be harmful to someone.2 -
skctilidie wrote: »manderson27 wrote: »
A bit off the point but confirming the power of talking on a device as opposed to in person. I saw a mother the other day walking through a crowded shopping center texting on her phone and completely ignoring her little girl of around 4 who was trailing further and further behind. Anyone could have walked off with her. It hurt my heart that her mum's texting was more important than that little girls safety in a crowded place.
In a similar vein, today I was walking behind a fellow and his little girl, she was probably about 3 or 4 years old. They headed into a school playground. My first thought was, awww, that's so sweet, daddy taking his daughter to the playground. As soon as they stepped off the sidewalk the little girl ran to the climbing equipment... and dad immediately glued himself to (reading) his phone. Dude, maybe you should pay a little more attention to what your youngster is doing?
Ehh, I’ve got 4 kids. I’m with them all the time. They get plenty of love and attention and interaction, but I’m also a big believer in fostering independence and solo play and letting them learn and explore on their own. Kids learn best through play and they thrive on the freedom to play without someone guiding them and hovering over them.
At the age of the kid in your story, I’d absolutely let them play on an appropriate playground while I sat a short distance away and scrolled or texted or talked to someone. Now my youngest is 7 and they’re all very strong swimmers, so I’ll even take them to the neighborhood pool and take a book rather than getting in with them sometimes.
Even if I don’t look like I’m paying attention, I’m always aware of where they are, what they’re up to, and who’s around them. I won’t refuse if they ask me to come play with them for a while, but I like for them to have the chance to learn how to do their own thing. Learning to make decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions is important, so I prefer to give them the space and freedom to do so and don’t intervene unless they’re making choices that could be harmful to someone.
Welp, I found my mommy spirit animal.
Can't imagine four kiddos though. One is a handful on his own!1 -
AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »I think so many people are always in a rush and don't have time
I talk to lots of people. I made friendswirj drugstore, now hardware store Wolverine. He asks after my family, he's told me about his. He tells me what he's lifting and eating and what he weighs.
I think the art of convos is just dying cause we don't have time. I have lots of time so I talk.
I think people have more time than they are willing to admit. If we spent less doing certain things that didn't matter in the long run, we would find we had way more free time than we previously thought.
Most of the time (and mind you, this is just anecdotal), people say they don't have time when in reality, they are using it as an excuse to actively not engage because using their cellphones or computers at home have become more important and possibly comforting. I do not know, however, if they are running from actual conversation because it doesn't interest them, they find some comfort in isolating themselves or if they have anxiety issues.
But very few people who say they "don't have time" actually have more time than they let on. I'm guilty of this; I'm sure I'm not alone.
You have a point but many do overload their schedules. We want to do it all, heaven forbid we miss out on an experience.
We're in Saskatchewan right now and have been in small towns. We went for a walk with someone for her to shown us something we were looking for. It was so quaint and nice
I suppose. I do not know what that's like unless it's in relation to crafts/art, lol. I make myself a list for every day and pretty rigidly stick to it, but do not schedule multiple appt. for myself in a day.
It helps that I work from home and do my own thing, though.. so I get time to people watch and interact.
I get stressed when i have a schedule to stick to. I get really anxious when inhave time constraints. I have lots of neighbourhood mom friends who rattle off their schedules and it's insane. One boy we get for playdates often because the mom is off with the other two brothers for hockey. Seems like they're always rushing around.
I'd be miserable living like that
We are pretty much polar opposites. The only way I could get through most of my days is through scheduling. Not only having a plan what I need to do, but a plan on how I'm going to do it. Years ago I went to a business seminar and they told me, don't get through your day by accident, make a plan and go for it. Even if something happens and you need to deviate from the original plan, most days you will not believe how much you can get done.
There's a reason I'm not in the business world. I get lots done most days. Just the things I do don't really need scheduling1 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »I think so many people are always in a rush and don't have time
I talk to lots of people. I made friendswirj drugstore, now hardware store Wolverine. He asks after my family, he's told me about his. He tells me what he's lifting and eating and what he weighs.
I think the art of convos is just dying cause we don't have time. I have lots of time so I talk.
I think people have more time than they are willing to admit. If we spent less doing certain things that didn't matter in the long run, we would find we had way more free time than we previously thought.
Most of the time (and mind you, this is just anecdotal), people say they don't have time when in reality, they are using it as an excuse to actively not engage because using their cellphones or computers at home have become more important and possibly comforting. I do not know, however, if they are running from actual conversation because it doesn't interest them, they find some comfort in isolating themselves or if they have anxiety issues.
But very few people who say they "don't have time" actually have more time than they let on. I'm guilty of this; I'm sure I'm not alone.
You have a point but many do overload their schedules. We want to do it all, heaven forbid we miss out on an experience.
We're in Saskatchewan right now and have been in small towns. We went for a walk with someone for her to shown us something we were looking for. It was so quaint and nice
I suppose. I do not know what that's like unless it's in relation to crafts/art, lol. I make myself a list for every day and pretty rigidly stick to it, but do not schedule multiple appt. for myself in a day.
It helps that I work from home and do my own thing, though.. so I get time to people watch and interact.
I get stressed when i have a schedule to stick to. I get really anxious when inhave time constraints. I have lots of neighbourhood mom friends who rattle off their schedules and it's insane. One boy we get for playdates often because the mom is off with the other two brothers for hockey. Seems like they're always rushing around.
I'd be miserable living like that
Eh, it's more like a "to do" list than a schedule. I just make sure I don't actually schedule multiple appointments in the same day if I have to go/be somewhere.
I have a kid, but I haven't figured out this weird thing other moms do where they schedule their kids for all these random after school activities so they aren't home until well after 7PM every night. Seems way more stressful to me than necessary. If the kid was interested in the activity, I would understand.. but we're talking about classes and things that the parents decided the child should take, but that maybe he or she isn't old enough to really appreciate or be interested in it. Just seems more like busywork.
I let my boy pretty much pick what he wants to do. I'm kind of a hippie that way? Also if he doesn't feel like going chances are I don't so we skip it. I'm a terrible parent.
Cool. We can be terrible together as this is pretty much what I do. He hasn't expressed interest in much outside of swimming, video games and LEGOs, so that's what we do together. If it changes and he wants to play sports or try out an after school class, I'll give it a shot.. but so far? Nah.
My child skips his skating lessons lots cause I can teach him and I hate sitting with the skating moms. He'll do computer classes and swimming because I can't teach him that since he's a better swimmer than I0 -
AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »I think so many people are always in a rush and don't have time
I talk to lots of people. I made friendswirj drugstore, now hardware store Wolverine. He asks after my family, he's told me about his. He tells me what he's lifting and eating and what he weighs.
I think the art of convos is just dying cause we don't have time. I have lots of time so I talk.
I think people have more time than they are willing to admit. If we spent less doing certain things that didn't matter in the long run, we would find we had way more free time than we previously thought.
Most of the time (and mind you, this is just anecdotal), people say they don't have time when in reality, they are using it as an excuse to actively not engage because using their cellphones or computers at home have become more important and possibly comforting. I do not know, however, if they are running from actual conversation because it doesn't interest them, they find some comfort in isolating themselves or if they have anxiety issues.
But very few people who say they "don't have time" actually have more time than they let on. I'm guilty of this; I'm sure I'm not alone.
You have a point but many do overload their schedules. We want to do it all, heaven forbid we miss out on an experience.
We're in Saskatchewan right now and have been in small towns. We went for a walk with someone for her to shown us something we were looking for. It was so quaint and nice
I suppose. I do not know what that's like unless it's in relation to crafts/art, lol. I make myself a list for every day and pretty rigidly stick to it, but do not schedule multiple appt. for myself in a day.
It helps that I work from home and do my own thing, though.. so I get time to people watch and interact.
I get stressed when i have a schedule to stick to. I get really anxious when inhave time constraints. I have lots of neighbourhood mom friends who rattle off their schedules and it's insane. One boy we get for playdates often because the mom is off with the other two brothers for hockey. Seems like they're always rushing around.
I'd be miserable living like that
Eh, it's more like a "to do" list than a schedule. I just make sure I don't actually schedule multiple appointments in the same day if I have to go/be somewhere.
I have a kid, but I haven't figured out this weird thing other moms do where they schedule their kids for all these random after school activities so they aren't home until well after 7PM every night. Seems way more stressful to me than necessary. If the kid was interested in the activity, I would understand.. but we're talking about classes and things that the parents decided the child should take, but that maybe he or she isn't old enough to really appreciate or be interested in it. Just seems more like busywork.
I let my boy pretty much pick what he wants to do. I'm kind of a hippie that way? Also if he doesn't feel like going chances are I don't so we skip it. I'm a terrible parent.
Cool. We can be terrible together as this is pretty much what I do. He hasn't expressed interest in much outside of swimming, video games and LEGOs, so that's what we do together. If it changes and he wants to play sports or try out an after school class, I'll give it a shot.. but so far? Nah.
My child skips his skating lessons lots cause I can teach him and I hate sitting with the skating moms. He'll do computer classes and swimming because I can't teach him that since he's a better swimmer than I
Ice or roller?0 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »I think so many people are always in a rush and don't have time
I talk to lots of people. I made friendswirj drugstore, now hardware store Wolverine. He asks after my family, he's told me about his. He tells me what he's lifting and eating and what he weighs.
I think the art of convos is just dying cause we don't have time. I have lots of time so I talk.
I think people have more time than they are willing to admit. If we spent less doing certain things that didn't matter in the long run, we would find we had way more free time than we previously thought.
Most of the time (and mind you, this is just anecdotal), people say they don't have time when in reality, they are using it as an excuse to actively not engage because using their cellphones or computers at home have become more important and possibly comforting. I do not know, however, if they are running from actual conversation because it doesn't interest them, they find some comfort in isolating themselves or if they have anxiety issues.
But very few people who say they "don't have time" actually have more time than they let on. I'm guilty of this; I'm sure I'm not alone.
You have a point but many do overload their schedules. We want to do it all, heaven forbid we miss out on an experience.
We're in Saskatchewan right now and have been in small towns. We went for a walk with someone for her to shown us something we were looking for. It was so quaint and nice
I suppose. I do not know what that's like unless it's in relation to crafts/art, lol. I make myself a list for every day and pretty rigidly stick to it, but do not schedule multiple appt. for myself in a day.
It helps that I work from home and do my own thing, though.. so I get time to people watch and interact.
I get stressed when i have a schedule to stick to. I get really anxious when inhave time constraints. I have lots of neighbourhood mom friends who rattle off their schedules and it's insane. One boy we get for playdates often because the mom is off with the other two brothers for hockey. Seems like they're always rushing around.
I'd be miserable living like that
Eh, it's more like a "to do" list than a schedule. I just make sure I don't actually schedule multiple appointments in the same day if I have to go/be somewhere.
I have a kid, but I haven't figured out this weird thing other moms do where they schedule their kids for all these random after school activities so they aren't home until well after 7PM every night. Seems way more stressful to me than necessary. If the kid was interested in the activity, I would understand.. but we're talking about classes and things that the parents decided the child should take, but that maybe he or she isn't old enough to really appreciate or be interested in it. Just seems more like busywork.
I let my boy pretty much pick what he wants to do. I'm kind of a hippie that way? Also if he doesn't feel like going chances are I don't so we skip it. I'm a terrible parent.
Cool. We can be terrible together as this is pretty much what I do. He hasn't expressed interest in much outside of swimming, video games and LEGOs, so that's what we do together. If it changes and he wants to play sports or try out an after school class, I'll give it a shot.. but so far? Nah.
My child skips his skating lessons lots cause I can teach him and I hate sitting with the skating moms. He'll do computer classes and swimming because I can't teach him that since he's a better swimmer than I
Ice or roller?
Ice, I used to teach if only he'd listen to me1 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »manderson27 wrote: »
A bit off the point but confirming the power of talking on a device as opposed to in person. I saw a mother the other day walking through a crowded shopping center texting on her phone and completely ignoring her little girl of around 4 who was trailing further and further behind. Anyone could have walked off with her. It hurt my heart that her mum's texting was more important than that little girls safety in a crowded place.
In a similar vein, today I was walking behind a fellow and his little girl, she was probably about 3 or 4 years old. They headed into a school playground. My first thought was, awww, that's so sweet, daddy taking his daughter to the playground. As soon as they stepped off the sidewalk the little girl ran to the climbing equipment... and dad immediately glued himself to (reading) his phone. Dude, maybe you should pay a little more attention to what your youngster is doing?
Ehh, I’ve got 4 kids. I’m with them all the time. They get plenty of love and attention and interaction, but I’m also a big believer in fostering independence and solo play and letting them learn and explore on their own. Kids learn best through play and they thrive on the freedom to play without someone guiding them and hovering over them.
At the age of the kid in your story, I’d absolutely let them play on an appropriate playground while I sat a short distance away and scrolled or texted or talked to someone. Now my youngest is 7 and they’re all very strong swimmers, so I’ll even take them to the neighborhood pool and take a book rather than getting in with them sometimes.
Even if I don’t look like I’m paying attention, I’m always aware of where they are, what they’re up to, and who’s around them. I won’t refuse if they ask me to come play with them for a while, but I like for them to have the chance to learn how to do their own thing. Learning to make decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions is important, so I prefer to give them the space and freedom to do so and don’t intervene unless they’re making choices that could be harmful to someone.
Welp, I found my mommy spirit animal.
Can't imagine four kiddos though. One is a handful on his own!
There’s a little over 11 years between my oldest and youngest, which helped. Now if I could just get the big one to learn to drive and coerce him into doing some of the chauffeuring for the younger ones’ activities (one goes to a coding/robotics club while the other two live for soccer), life would be pretty grand.2 -
I still like to meet and talk to people face to face where I can stidy their body language too. I hate calling people on the phone and texting can be taken so out of context.4
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skctilidie wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »manderson27 wrote: »
A bit off the point but confirming the power of talking on a device as opposed to in person. I saw a mother the other day walking through a crowded shopping center texting on her phone and completely ignoring her little girl of around 4 who was trailing further and further behind. Anyone could have walked off with her. It hurt my heart that her mum's texting was more important than that little girls safety in a crowded place.
In a similar vein, today I was walking behind a fellow and his little girl, she was probably about 3 or 4 years old. They headed into a school playground. My first thought was, awww, that's so sweet, daddy taking his daughter to the playground. As soon as they stepped off the sidewalk the little girl ran to the climbing equipment... and dad immediately glued himself to (reading) his phone. Dude, maybe you should pay a little more attention to what your youngster is doing?
Ehh, I’ve got 4 kids. I’m with them all the time. They get plenty of love and attention and interaction, but I’m also a big believer in fostering independence and solo play and letting them learn and explore on their own. Kids learn best through play and they thrive on the freedom to play without someone guiding them and hovering over them.
At the age of the kid in your story, I’d absolutely let them play on an appropriate playground while I sat a short distance away and scrolled or texted or talked to someone. Now my youngest is 7 and they’re all very strong swimmers, so I’ll even take them to the neighborhood pool and take a book rather than getting in with them sometimes.
Even if I don’t look like I’m paying attention, I’m always aware of where they are, what they’re up to, and who’s around them. I won’t refuse if they ask me to come play with them for a while, but I like for them to have the chance to learn how to do their own thing. Learning to make decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions is important, so I prefer to give them the space and freedom to do so and don’t intervene unless they’re making choices that could be harmful to someone.
Welp, I found my mommy spirit animal.
Can't imagine four kiddos though. One is a handful on his own!
There’s a little over 11 years between my oldest and youngest, which helped. Now if I could just get the big one to learn to drive and coerce him into doing some of the chauffeuring for the younger ones’ activities (one goes to a coding/robotics club while the other two live for soccer), life would be pretty grand.
Ha ha, good luck. I didn't learn to drive until I was 20. I showed no interest until then, despite my father's efforts.2 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »manderson27 wrote: »
A bit off the point but confirming the power of talking on a device as opposed to in person. I saw a mother the other day walking through a crowded shopping center texting on her phone and completely ignoring her little girl of around 4 who was trailing further and further behind. Anyone could have walked off with her. It hurt my heart that her mum's texting was more important than that little girls safety in a crowded place.
In a similar vein, today I was walking behind a fellow and his little girl, she was probably about 3 or 4 years old. They headed into a school playground. My first thought was, awww, that's so sweet, daddy taking his daughter to the playground. As soon as they stepped off the sidewalk the little girl ran to the climbing equipment... and dad immediately glued himself to (reading) his phone. Dude, maybe you should pay a little more attention to what your youngster is doing?
Ehh, I’ve got 4 kids. I’m with them all the time. They get plenty of love and attention and interaction, but I’m also a big believer in fostering independence and solo play and letting them learn and explore on their own. Kids learn best through play and they thrive on the freedom to play without someone guiding them and hovering over them.
At the age of the kid in your story, I’d absolutely let them play on an appropriate playground while I sat a short distance away and scrolled or texted or talked to someone. Now my youngest is 7 and they’re all very strong swimmers, so I’ll even take them to the neighborhood pool and take a book rather than getting in with them sometimes.
Even if I don’t look like I’m paying attention, I’m always aware of where they are, what they’re up to, and who’s around them. I won’t refuse if they ask me to come play with them for a while, but I like for them to have the chance to learn how to do their own thing. Learning to make decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions is important, so I prefer to give them the space and freedom to do so and don’t intervene unless they’re making choices that could be harmful to someone.
Welp, I found my mommy spirit animal.
Can't imagine four kiddos though. One is a handful on his own!
There’s a little over 11 years between my oldest and youngest, which helped. Now if I could just get the big one to learn to drive and coerce him into doing some of the chauffeuring for the younger ones’ activities (one goes to a coding/robotics club while the other two live for soccer), life would be pretty grand.
Ha ha, good luck. I didn't learn to drive until I was 20. I showed no interest until then, despite my father's efforts.
Same here. I never understood the appeal1 -
Breezybreeze7 wrote: »I still like to meet and talk to people face to face where I can stidy their body language too. I hate calling people on the phone and texting can be taken so out of context.
Texting can definitely be taken out of context. You are right about that.2 -
I'm sorry (headphones come off), did someone say something?1
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AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »manderson27 wrote: »
A bit off the point but confirming the power of talking on a device as opposed to in person. I saw a mother the other day walking through a crowded shopping center texting on her phone and completely ignoring her little girl of around 4 who was trailing further and further behind. Anyone could have walked off with her. It hurt my heart that her mum's texting was more important than that little girls safety in a crowded place.
In a similar vein, today I was walking behind a fellow and his little girl, she was probably about 3 or 4 years old. They headed into a school playground. My first thought was, awww, that's so sweet, daddy taking his daughter to the playground. As soon as they stepped off the sidewalk the little girl ran to the climbing equipment... and dad immediately glued himself to (reading) his phone. Dude, maybe you should pay a little more attention to what your youngster is doing?
Ehh, I’ve got 4 kids. I’m with them all the time. They get plenty of love and attention and interaction, but I’m also a big believer in fostering independence and solo play and letting them learn and explore on their own. Kids learn best through play and they thrive on the freedom to play without someone guiding them and hovering over them.
At the age of the kid in your story, I’d absolutely let them play on an appropriate playground while I sat a short distance away and scrolled or texted or talked to someone. Now my youngest is 7 and they’re all very strong swimmers, so I’ll even take them to the neighborhood pool and take a book rather than getting in with them sometimes.
Even if I don’t look like I’m paying attention, I’m always aware of where they are, what they’re up to, and who’s around them. I won’t refuse if they ask me to come play with them for a while, but I like for them to have the chance to learn how to do their own thing. Learning to make decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions is important, so I prefer to give them the space and freedom to do so and don’t intervene unless they’re making choices that could be harmful to someone.
Welp, I found my mommy spirit animal.
Can't imagine four kiddos though. One is a handful on his own!
There’s a little over 11 years between my oldest and youngest, which helped. Now if I could just get the big one to learn to drive and coerce him into doing some of the chauffeuring for the younger ones’ activities (one goes to a coding/robotics club while the other two live for soccer), life would be pretty grand.
Ha ha, good luck. I didn't learn to drive until I was 20. I showed no interest until then, despite my father's efforts.
Same here. I never understood the appeal
I dunno, roadtripping with the windows down and music blaring for miles is fun, but inner city driving or day-to-day stuff? No thanks. It sucks. If I can walk or bike, I'll do that instead.2 -
A lot of people are not even listening to what the other is saying. They are just waiting for a break in the conversation so they can say what they want to say.
6 -
IMHO, there are two things at fault: the internet and the decline of volunteerism as a whole in American society. Because folks have to work longer hours, two or more jobs, etc., people don't have the time or energy to volunteer with social organizations (e.g., fire departments, Lion's Club, intramural sports teams) like they used to. So, folks stay in their cocoons (by necessity) and don't interact with other people that happen to have different views towards a common goal, like one does in social organizations.
And then, within these cocoons, people log in to social media sites, which tailor their algorithms so that users see content that caters to their views. (Yes, this sounds very tinfoil-hat of me, but this has been widely reported in the news, I just don't have the time at the moment to research it.) This reinforces already set-in beliefs. Then, when someone does come along and challenge those beliefs, there is a tendency to disregard those views outright, because they are so foreign to this carefully-constructed echo chamber.
2 -
IMHO, there are two things at fault: the internet and the decline of volunteerism as a whole in American society. Because folks have to work longer hours, two or more jobs, etc., people don't have the time or energy to volunteer with social organizations (e.g., fire departments, Lion's Club, intramural sports teams) like they used to. So, folks stay in their cocoons (by necessity) and don't interact with other people that happen to have different views towards a common goal, like one does in social organizations.
And then, within these cocoons, people log in to social media sites, which tailor their algorithms so that users see content that caters to their views. (Yes, this sounds very tinfoil-hat of me, but this has been widely reported in the news, I just don't have the time at the moment to research it.) This reinforces already set-in beliefs. Then, when someone does come along and challenge those beliefs, there is a tendency to disregard those views outright, because they are so foreign to this carefully-constructed echo chamber.
I hadn't considered volunteerism as a contributor...that's very interesting!1 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »AliNouveau wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »skctilidie wrote: »manderson27 wrote: »
A bit off the point but confirming the power of talking on a device as opposed to in person. I saw a mother the other day walking through a crowded shopping center texting on her phone and completely ignoring her little girl of around 4 who was trailing further and further behind. Anyone could have walked off with her. It hurt my heart that her mum's texting was more important than that little girls safety in a crowded place.
In a similar vein, today I was walking behind a fellow and his little girl, she was probably about 3 or 4 years old. They headed into a school playground. My first thought was, awww, that's so sweet, daddy taking his daughter to the playground. As soon as they stepped off the sidewalk the little girl ran to the climbing equipment... and dad immediately glued himself to (reading) his phone. Dude, maybe you should pay a little more attention to what your youngster is doing?
Ehh, I’ve got 4 kids. I’m with them all the time. They get plenty of love and attention and interaction, but I’m also a big believer in fostering independence and solo play and letting them learn and explore on their own. Kids learn best through play and they thrive on the freedom to play without someone guiding them and hovering over them.
At the age of the kid in your story, I’d absolutely let them play on an appropriate playground while I sat a short distance away and scrolled or texted or talked to someone. Now my youngest is 7 and they’re all very strong swimmers, so I’ll even take them to the neighborhood pool and take a book rather than getting in with them sometimes.
Even if I don’t look like I’m paying attention, I’m always aware of where they are, what they’re up to, and who’s around them. I won’t refuse if they ask me to come play with them for a while, but I like for them to have the chance to learn how to do their own thing. Learning to make decisions and deal with the consequences of those decisions is important, so I prefer to give them the space and freedom to do so and don’t intervene unless they’re making choices that could be harmful to someone.
Welp, I found my mommy spirit animal.
Can't imagine four kiddos though. One is a handful on his own!
There’s a little over 11 years between my oldest and youngest, which helped. Now if I could just get the big one to learn to drive and coerce him into doing some of the chauffeuring for the younger ones’ activities (one goes to a coding/robotics club while the other two live for soccer), life would be pretty grand.
Ha ha, good luck. I didn't learn to drive until I was 20. I showed no interest until then, despite my father's efforts.
Same here. I never understood the appeal
I dunno, roadtripping with the windows down and music blaring for miles is fun, but inner city driving or day-to-day stuff? No thanks. It sucks. If I can walk or bike, I'll do that instead.
I like driving now but learning in was ambilivent. I walk most places around my neighbourhood but I am happy inhave a car and can drive now1 -
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What's banana brulée0 -
AliNouveau wrote: »
What's banana brulée
It is banana deliciousness laid gently on a bed of dark chocolate, with the smoothest dollop of heavy cream and blueberries you've ever seen...
1 -
AliNouveau wrote: »
What's banana brulée
It is banana deliciousness laid gently on a bed of dark chocolate, with the smoothest dollop of heavy cream and blueberries you've ever seen...
How are they bruleed?0 -
This is a timely topic for me right now. I've recently ended one relationship due to lack of engagement during conversations and lack of interest on their part to live outside of their own little bubble.
There's also someone else in my life that is exactly the same way, but I'm required to have regular contact with them (due to mutual care-giving for my grandmother) and I really have to work on staying patient with someone who has zero interest regarding anything outside of their small little world and who can't seem to pay attention or remember anything I tell them.
I've found the responses to this thread interesting, so thank you for starting this thread.1 -
I just spent a lunch sitting in the dining area of our campus and people watched and people listened...nothing creepy, I swear...but what I overheard in brief snatches of a variety of conversations was interesting to me.
So, before diving in too deeply, is the art of conversation (meaning being engaged in the topic and having intelligent discussion) a lost art? Or am I just getting to be the jaded old man that screams, "Get off my lawn!" to the young whipersnappers of today...? Or do you even notice?
Having asked those question, I will simply state for now that a fair number of people in one-on-one conversations today seemed to spend a whole lot more time thinking about what they're going to say next, and how to sound smart saying it, than really hearing what the other person was saying...
As society moves on, and technology continues to evolve and integrate heavily into our lives, we're slowly losing our humanity. By this, I'm referring to things such as interpersonal communication, empathy towards each other, meaningful and true friendships, and a slew other aspects.
Why? Because while we have these "great and wonderful" means of communicating with one another. We're losing how to communicate on a personal level. When you don't see someone, or hear their voices, it becomes a little impersonal. Add to it that nearly everyone now communicates via written word, it becomes one sides as people formulate their responses and it becomes rather linear instead of dynamic.2 -
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