Less Alcohol - August 2018 - One Day at a Time

Orphia
Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
edited November 27 in Challenges
MFP LESS ALCOHOL ONE DAY AT A TIME
RESOURCE & GENERAL INFORMATION LIST

Remember that we are here for you and care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!

USING OUR THREAD:
  • Join us at any time - this is a day to day challenge.
  • Set your own goal - this thread is about drinking less and you decide what that means to you.
  • There are no scheduled check-ins - post as often or as little as you want or need.
  • AF is an acronym for Alcohol Free. For others commonly used on this site see - https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
  • To follow this thread easily, bookmark it by clicking on the star at the top right of this thread.

TIPS & OBSERVATIONS FROM OUR MEMBERS:

Getting Started or Starting Over - The Early Days
  • Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals at the beginning to help boost confidence.
  • If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
  • There will always be a reason to delay the start/restart of your journey.
  • For those ready to commit to being alcohol-free permanently, the videos on YouTube by Craig Beck will help. He also has a program you can join.
  • You may experience mood swings and anxiety during your first two weeks. It is suggested you try and focus on the benefits of your goal.
  • Cravings are said to last only 6 minutes, so find something to distract you like arming yourself with alternatives: tea, mocktails, activities, etc.
  • You may find that filling the time you drink with other activities like exercise or hobbies can be a helpful distraction.
  • If you find them tempting try and avoid events/outings that will have drinking for a time.
  • Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
  • Sometimes talking it out or posting your thoughts/feelings/struggles may help you work things out for yourself.
  • It is okay that you don't always have all the answers.
  • Some days will be easier than others.
  • You may have initial/increased sugar cravings.
  • You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted.
  • Celebrate the smaller victories too. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if your goal was zero at that moment.
  • Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
  • Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free program on her website (https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/) called the 30 day experiment which can be joined anonymously.
  • Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to accomplish your goals.

Life with Less Alcohol
  • It can be helpful to educate yourself with books and web research (Some suggested books and links listed below).
  • There is no benefit to comparing yourself to others because this is a personal journey.
  • You may often feel conflicted. You will know that there are numerous real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
  • You may feel punished by not drinking or drinking less but that feeling usually fades with time.
  • Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol.
  • Having a list of reasons to stick to your goals handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, excess/unwanted calories, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
  • It is a good idea to have a plan for how you might deal with various tempting scenarios before engaging in a social situation.
  • Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits and make better and more mindful decisions.
  • Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little reward for a success makes the journey easier.
  • You will see many helpful suggestions and ideas that work for some people. However, finding what tactics work for you may involve some trial and error.
  • It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
  • Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it doesn't enhance experiences like they once believed it did. Some have said they no longer like the taste.
  • Don't forget how sticking to your goal has made your life better and remember it to motivate you again if you fall off your path.
  • If you begin drinking daily again whether planned like a vacation or unplanned you may once again face a struggle to get it under control.
  • For some people it is easier to not drink than it is to moderate drinking. Others have found moderating impossible.

Reported Benefits of Less or No Drinking: (Results may be incremental, and/or they may vary)
  • Improved sleep after 2,4,7,10,& 60 days
  • Improved skin/complexion after 10 days
  • Improved ease in weight loss. Not only from the savings of alcohol calories but some report making poor food choices after drinking.
  • Increased energy after as few as 2 days
  • Increase in other fun activities. Some have found that daily drinking became their main recreational activity and their world was decreased in size.
  • Increased productivity
  • Reduction of high blood pressure
  • Lower resting heart rate
  • Less Acid Reflux
  • Significant financial savings
  • Better relationships with family

When Alcohol Is Used for Avoidance by @Orphia:
  • We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
  • We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
  • We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
The Takeaway on Avoidance:
  • Our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
  • I've learned that not drinking makes the problems often go away (e.g. drinking out of worry about drinking).
  • Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
  • Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.

How to Be Kind to "Tomorrow You" by @Orphia
  • Instead of lumbering myself with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, I think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
  • I worry about "me" and don't want "Tomorrow Me" to feel awful.
  • Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
  • Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic, I might add.)
  • We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
  • We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
  • Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
  • Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
  • You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to Tomorrow You.
LINKS:
A Sharing Site for Women:
http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/about/

General Information/Blog Sites:
https://thesoberschool.com/
http://www.hipsobriety.com/
https://joinclubsoda.co.uk/
https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
https://alcoholmastery.com/blog/

Sobriety Blog:
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/

The Thirty Day Experiment:
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/

Ten Things That Helped Me Quit Booze:
https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp

The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision

Summary of Book on Addiction:
https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/

Article on the Difference Between Being an Alcoholic and Really Liking to Drink:
https://www.self.com/story/alcoholic-or-just-really-like-to-drink

To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/

Guided Meditations:
http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations

ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep

Mocktail Recipes:
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/

APPS:
  • Dry January & Beyond - The Dry January & Beyond app is for those who want to cut down or cut out the booze throughout the year, while seeing the impact it has on your health and wallet.
  • nomo - Sobriety Clocks - In addition to an alcohol clock and monetary savings this app lets you check in and do a sobriety exercise if you're tempted and connect with accountability partners.

BOOKS:
  • The Naked Mind by Annie Grace
  • Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck
  • Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
  • The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
  • The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 different publications)
  • Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale
  • Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
  • Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through, and Living in Recovery by Harry Haroutunian
  • The Easy, Illustrated Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr
  • Alcohol Explained by William Porter
VIDEOS:

https://youtu.be/T3eIiS-Rl4k
https://youtu.be/Qiueo1nVyF8
https://youtu.be/VB5WyBeFc8U
https://youtu.be/XNr62PhHOC8

Credit and Thanks to the MFP Less Alcohol One Day at a Time participants for their willingness to share their insights and resourcefulness in finding this information.




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Replies

  • tracimcp
    tracimcp Posts: 21 Member
    I'm in for this challenge! I have tried to be AF on my own but need the support of others. it is so EASY to grab that glass of wine when I get home from work.
  • erikNJ
    erikNJ Posts: 1,009 Member
    MissMay wrote: »
    Been here since January 2018. Over 200 days of SERIOUS accountability on this thread to cut back on alcohol. In the past( pre January 2018) I would have had at least 150 drinks during 1 month. This July my tally is 13 (thirteen) for the entire month. YAY ME! Count me in again for August.

    Nice to hear from you again. Glad to see you are still doing great with moderation!
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    I don't think alcohol is a poison, but it's a recreational drug that can make your brain ignore the niggling conscience at the back of your mind. :D

    I think mindful moderation is about having a "whole of brain" approach, and knowing how to listen to that voice.

    I can't do it yet, which is why I'm AF nearly 6 months, but I'm entertaining thoughts towards it so I don't speak about sobriety like a fundamentalist. :D
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    whitpauly wrote: »
    I just wanted to say something about the moderation/AF thing,I think it's great to have a place where there's no judgment no matter what your goal is,I've been on a forum for problem drinking for awhile and honestly I hate that they make people who moderate feel like eventually it'll spiral out of control and they'll become full flagged"alcoholics" or if someone who wants to be completely alcohol free has a slip they get chastised and made to feel like they're a failure,I've thought of leaving many times cuz I'm tired of the attitude but I have met some great people there too,I just hope everyone feels welcome to post here no matter how they choose to handle their drinking/not drinking <3

    This group of people seems dedicated to remaining open-minded. You don't have to completely understand where a person is coming from to be supportive. We are not all the same. Even if you have a few things in common with a person doesn't mean they will respond the same in every situation.

  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    I seem to be having a burst of creativity lately, doing lots of drawing and writing.

    I'm certain a large reason for that is due to my brain being healthier from less alcohol.


  • anothermfpuser
    anothermfpuser Posts: 84 Member
    edited July 2018
    Ke22yB wrote: »
    @MissMay Yay to You indeed that is a great change in moderating consumption congratulations on a great July

    I have noticed that many posts concerning moderation are followed by the feeling that we are professing that alcohol is poison and that makes it harder to be mindfully moderate. Unfortunately for some of us Alcohol is poison mainly because of the amounts we had been drinking before we became AF. Any substance including water can be a detriment to good health if consumed in quantities that are way above normal. I sincerely feel that if you have the will power and control to be indeed moderate that is fine. I couldn't coexist with alcohol since to be able to moderate you have to be able to stop at a predetermined point. My point most of the time was the bottom of the bottle, when the bottle was empty I was finished.
    To any and all of us here that are making a conscious effort to cut back or slow down or limit or stop altogether congratulations for putting yourself first.
    When I am swimming or running and I am fading I keep repeating to myself " Like your life depends on it"

    One of my lifelong friends is unable to coexist with it either. He was not done until he blacked out. This was his daily cycle for years and years.

    Likewise, he totally understands how the majority of people we all know can have a healthy relationship with alcohol as they can with any other type of food.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    donimfp wrote: »
    I agree with @SpanishFusion: Hey Beautiful People! I'm also in for AF August. I'm on a roll right now, but I have not made one complete AF month since starting in January. August will be the one, for many reasons. I just can't handle alcohol. If I ever refer to it as a poison or something like that, I hope it is understood here that I am speaking of my own inability to handle it. My own husband and mother are total "take it or leave it" drinkers and I'm sure always will be. I envy them. I can't be that kind of drinker though.

    Hey, Y'all. You won't believe this. You will think I'm lying but I swear I'm not. Some of you will recall that in March I took an awesome trip to Italy with my sister-in-law. I paid my own way, but she treated us to things like business class, crazy upgrades in hotels, etc. She had a very high-powered job. While in Italy, though, she was wistfully saying she wished she could just walk away from it and do something she loved. OK, she just quit her job and has bought a winery! OMG. Her attorney husband is also quitting. They have purchased a quite successful winery and her intention is to develop even better wines than it is currently producing. Her inspiration was our trips to the wineries in Italy, although she has been a regular visitor to Napa and Sonoma and really is quite an expert.

    So . . . how do I go to the new winery and not taste? Thankfully they don't close until late September. For now, I'm in for August.

    How many wines would they have? You could try one of each if it's only a couple of types of grapes.
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    erikNJ wrote: »
    Hello friends. I will be absent for a little. Busy day of work before some time off and then my wife and I are off to vacation in Denver!
    I may read up here in the mornings but if not I will catch up with everyone on Monday

    Have fun!
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