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Office Gossip

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  • Posts: 20,506 Member

    Ima come at you like a spider monkey

    Have you ever traveled to St. Barths to drop acid and sunbathe with spider monkeys?

    It will change your whole perspective on chit.
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  • Posts: 173 Member
    OMG, how many DUIs are you going to get before they fire your useless *kitten*?

    Trick question, they won't. You'll just get shuffled off to another department. I just hope it isn't mine, I had enough of you four years ago.
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  • Posts: 7,164 Member
    Speaker phone conference call in a cubicle, really? Do you think you're the only one who works here?

    That is the perfect time to shout random things like "Who took my green paperclip with the ladybug on top?" or "Does anyone have a letter opener? I can't get into my email!"
  • Posts: 1,867 Member

    Spunky af

    Dude you never sleep, do you? :smiley:
  • Posts: 7,074 Member
    I'm confused how you're on the payroll when you don't actually do anything .... 😶
  • Posts: 19,588 MFP Moderator
    edited August 2018
    81Katz wrote: »
    I'm confused how you're on the payroll when you don't actually do anything .... 😶

    Is it bad that I think this about myself some days?
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  • Posts: 22 Member
    No, IVF is not un-holy. Coworker. My twin 7 year olds aren't unholy either. I might be unholy but because of IVF.
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  • Posts: 33,711 Member
    Its 9:51 and you are already saying you're hungry for lunch and is it 5pm yet. I will stab you in the classical with my chewed up pen

    :)

    I love autocorrect sometimes. Actually, I don't, I hate it but it can be funny.

    22rcl76f2a7w.png
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  • Posts: 759 Member
    Seriously, how loud can you snore IN THE OFFICE? People know you are sleeping and not just "zoning out".
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  • Posts: 759 Member

    Let the pranks begin

    It's SO LOUD!!! Like something you see out of a movie! I went to his cube one day and asked him a question and he nodded out right when I was talking to him. Ok dude. Carry on :|
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  • Posts: 759 Member

    Dip his hand in warm water :D:D

    HAHAHAHAHA!!! I like the way you think!
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  • Posts: 759 Member

    Safety pin his shirt to his chair

    Tape on the bottom of his mouse so it doesn't work or take a screenshot of his desktop and then just enlarge it so when he tries to click on the icons nothing happens...lol. He will think he's crazy OR still dreaming!
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  • Posts: 759 Member

    Ctl + down arrow

    That's a good one too!
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