Goal weight criticized
Options
Replies
-
Keep in mind that approximately 70% of Americans are overweight, half of those are obese. This means the average size, is overweight. So being a healthy weight seems very low, but only because it's well below average. I'm 5'7", 42, and just under 160lbs - I've been questioned about wanting to get to 150lbs and even been told that I'm already "skinny, so I would end up anorexic looking", I just roll my eyes and ignore them. There's also the ugly side where bettering yourself can bring out the worst in other people.
So long as you're healthy and happy, that is all that matters. It's your body and your life.
I think you are spot on, @VUA21 I have the same experiences with friends when we talk about my journey and I think here we have the highest per cent rates of obesity in Europe, 63% of adults are overweight or obese and many wouldn't describe themselves as even overweight/obese.
2 -
So I may be out of line, I am male and 71 so it doesn’t seem to me that your goal is out of line. In Jan of 17 I was 270 with lots of health warnings. I changed my diet to limit carbs, increase protein and lost some weight. By last May I started walking. Tracked steps and got into mfp. I am now down to my target weight of 185. I will be walking a 1/2 marathon in a few weeks. I walk sub 14 min miles. The charts say at my weight I am borderline overweight at 185. But you have to do what fells right to you not what others say. Go for your goal not what the charts or others say. If I can get there so can you. The last 7 lbs took me almost 4 months. And that is with walking 50 miles a week swimming and strict tracking of my food and staying below my targets.9
-
Friends say the weirdest things when they are trying to be supportive. I love my friends just the way they are so when they want to make a drastic change to improve themselves I might think the goal is overblown as I don’t see the issue as problem they need to fix.
Thank them for being sweet as they are saying they don’t need you to be thin to love you but then crush your goal and keep going until you are happy. 130 is reasonable for your height.9 -
You are the only one whose opinion matters. I am 62 and 5'6". I was happy at 130 pounds (started at 177), but ended up continuing to lose weight when I got there and am now in the low 120s. I think I look pretty good, though there are still parts of me that are larger than I'd like (thighs). Some people think I look skinny. I'm comfortable with what and how much I'm eating and I have enough energy to run and hike, so I'll continue to maintain this weight.6
-
I would just tell them *kitten* you and the horse they rode in on. On second thought, the horse is probably okay,
You do you, best of luck.5 -
I tend not to discuss my weight with anyone at all. This way I don't get to hear all their opinions.
I'm 5'7 and my goal is to get back to 125 which I've been my whole adult life. I don't care who thinks what about it. So I don't talk about it.
I tried to avoid it but we’re all close and try to support each other and it came up when I said I would def not be happy in the 150’s, as I’ve been there before and wasn’t feeling as healthy as I’d like.
Given your take on their comments, they are not supporting you. Don't pay attention.2 -
It's all personal preference. I actually have a gang of woo'ers who think I am too thin (been at maintenance a year and very healthy thank you very much!) and apparently follow me around and woo my posts. Seriously I think the american EYEBALL has lost track of what in shape looks like. The scale is so tipped to accept heavy as normal. You do you and when you feel good you will know it.15
-
Do what feels right for you. Your life, your journey. Opinions are just opinions, treat them as such and have a wonderful life! Rainbows and roses to you
5 -
SummerSkier wrote: »It's all personal preference. I actually have a gang of woo'ers who think I am too thin (been at maintenance a year and very healthy thank you very much!) and apparently follow me around and woo my posts. Seriously I think the american EYEBALL has lost track of what in shape looks like. The scale is so tipped to accept heavy as normal. You do you and when you feel good you will know it.
@SummerSkier And not just Americans, we have the same problem in UK and Ireland. Obesity is on the rise.9 -
I typed this out once and it disappeared, sorry if it’s repost. My goal weight has been criticized three times this week. I want to weigh in the 130’s. I am 5’4”. One person goal weight is much higher than mine at same height, one said I should be satisfied at 150 even though they are 135 at 5’7’. Another said because I have children and am older I should be satisfied w a higher weight. I feel like that is selling myself short. Do they want me to stay fat ? And for what reason? They said not when I asked, just said 130s is too low and skinny. Grrr!
I would go with where you feel comfortable not according to bmi. You can look on mybodygallery and see that people can look very different at the same weight. I am with the people who said that older people, like grandparents, look better a little heavier. 130 is actually very low for 5'4''. I'd aim for the high side of normal and then adjust as you see your pictures and as you feel comfortable. That's what I'm going to do. I honestly believe that women normally go too low when they lose weight and would look better with a few extra pounds.14 -
OP, I tend not to discuss details with anyone, but I'm aiming for the middle of 'normal' on the BMI scale for my height. That gives me a bit of flexibility if I become a little less active as I get older but still find myself eating the same stuff. It should also stop my GP nagging me. As you're part of a support group, if the subject comes up again in the short term, just say that that's currently your goal but you'll assess things as you get down in to the mid 140s to see how you feel. Then, try to avoid the subject or be vague as possible.1
-
Maybe they are just trying to be kind in a really weird way, because they want you to feel good about where you are now. Most people have no idea what you should weigh, because there is such a variation in bone structure, and the way you carry your weight. But only you know where you feel good and where you will be comfortable. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt - when they ask, just say "a healthy weight for me".3
-
You have 2 middle fingers for a reason.
Use them.13 -
Your ideal weight is where you feel happy and healthy. Anything anyone else says is irrelevant.7
-
Wow! Loving all the replies! Thanks everyone for your advice, I’ll have to go through these again so I can soak it all in. I’ll definitely shut them down if they pester me again about it. I do value those relationships, but need to set a boundary. It’s always surprises me when others feel so strongly about my stuff ( and say so) when I never would think of doing that to them.5
-
SummerSkier wrote: »It's all personal preference. I actually have a gang of woo'ers who think I am too thin (been at maintenance a year and very healthy thank you very much!) and apparently follow me around and woo my posts. Seriously I think the american EYEBALL has lost track of what in shape looks like. The scale is so tipped to accept heavy as normal. You do you and when you feel good you will know it.
I’ve seen you on here before, in my legs post. I think you look beautiful! Always inspiring.4 -
People have all kinds of opinions about all kinds of things, for all kinds of reasons. You are not obligated to accept them.3
-
I tend not to discuss my weight with anyone at all. This way I don't get to hear all their opinions.
I'm 5'7 and my goal is to get back to 125 which I've been my whole adult life. I don't care who thinks what about it. So I don't talk about it.
I tried to avoid it but we’re all close and try to support each other and it came up when I said I would def not be happy in the 150’s, as I’ve been there before and wasn’t feeling as healthy as I’d like.
Not to be a "Health At Every Size" nut, but you can feel healthy and still not be slim.
No need to defend your decisions, you know what's best. Just a loose end I noticed. Best wishes.6 -
Definitely stop sharing information with those people. I’m 116 at5’4” and still plan to lose a few more pounds. It’s really just preference.
I do wonder if because bigger has become more normal people are just more wary of lower weights, even if they’re within a healthy BMI6
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.4K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 388 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.2K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 916 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions