Goal weight criticized

24

Replies

  • Strudders67
    Strudders67 Posts: 989 Member
    OP, I tend not to discuss details with anyone, but I'm aiming for the middle of 'normal' on the BMI scale for my height. That gives me a bit of flexibility if I become a little less active as I get older but still find myself eating the same stuff. It should also stop my GP nagging me. As you're part of a support group, if the subject comes up again in the short term, just say that that's currently your goal but you'll assess things as you get down in to the mid 140s to see how you feel. Then, try to avoid the subject or be vague as possible.
  • elsie6hickman
    elsie6hickman Posts: 3,864 Member
    Maybe they are just trying to be kind in a really weird way, because they want you to feel good about where you are now. Most people have no idea what you should weigh, because there is such a variation in bone structure, and the way you carry your weight. But only you know where you feel good and where you will be comfortable. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt - when they ask, just say "a healthy weight for me".
  • GoodLardy
    GoodLardy Posts: 163 Member
    edited September 2018
    It's all personal preference. I actually have a gang of woo'ers who think I am too thin (been at maintenance a year and very healthy thank you very much!) and apparently follow me around and woo my posts. Seriously I think the american EYEBALL has lost track of what in shape looks like. The scale is so tipped to accept heavy as normal. You do you and when you feel good you will know it.

    I’ve seen you on here before, in my legs post. I think you look beautiful! Always inspiring.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    People have all kinds of opinions about all kinds of things, for all kinds of reasons. You are not obligated to accept them.
  • kq1981
    kq1981 Posts: 1,098 Member
    I never tell anyone how much more I need to lose. I get sick of hearing “there’ll be nothing left of you” “you’ll look sick”. Blah. I’ll do what I need to for me thanks
  • Candyspun
    Candyspun Posts: 370 Member
    I have a question: when you're avoiding answering this question about how much more you have left to lose, what exactly do you say? Because I'm starting to get this question now, and I'm not keen to share that info.
  • SteamPug
    SteamPug Posts: 262 Member
    Candyspun wrote: »
    I have a question: when you're avoiding answering this question about how much more you have left to lose, what exactly do you say? Because I'm starting to get this question now, and I'm not keen to share that info.
    Id either lie and tell them something like I’m not really trying to lose, just focusing on eating healthy now, or tell them you don’t have a set weight and are just going with the flow. It’s suitably vague but doesn’t warrant too many questions imo.

  • kq1981
    kq1981 Posts: 1,098 Member
    Candyspun wrote: »
    I have a question: when you're avoiding answering this question about how much more you have left to lose, what exactly do you say? Because I'm starting to get this question now, and I'm not keen to share that info.

    I say now, just looking after my health now.
  • Noreenmarie1234
    Noreenmarie1234 Posts: 7,492 Member
    SteamPug wrote: »
    Definitely stop sharing information with those people. I’m 116 at5’4” and still plan to lose a few more pounds. It’s really just preference.
    I do wonder if because bigger has become more normal people are just more wary of lower weights, even if they’re within a healthy BMI

    This is true as sad as it is. Being at a healthy weight IS abnormal since the majority are overweight/obese.
  • FL_Hiker
    FL_Hiker Posts: 919 Member
    GoodLardy wrote: »
    I typed this out once and it disappeared, sorry if it’s repost. My goal weight has been criticized three times this week. I want to weigh in the 130’s. I am 5’4”. One person goal weight is much higher than mine at same height, one said I should be satisfied at 150 even though they are 135 at 5’7’. Another said because I have children and am older I should be satisfied w a higher weight. I feel like that is selling myself short. Do they want me to stay fat ? And for what reason? They said not when I asked, just said 130s is too low and skinny. Grrr!

    I'm exactly 5'4 and my goal weight was 120! 130 is definetly not too skinny! I'm actually 117 right now, after maintaince I kept losing and I do feel under 120 is a bit too thin for me. The people critizing you may just not be used to seeing you changed, they'll get used to it over time. Most importantly focus on yourself, if you feel good that's all that matters !
  • getfitwith_aish
    getfitwith_aish Posts: 44 Member
    I’m 5”4’ and my goal weight is 120. It’s not skinny. If you keep lifting it makes you strong! For me it’s more about losing the fat so I don’t feel softer . Same height and weight looks different on different ppl depending upon eating habits and workouts
  • kardsharp
    kardsharp Posts: 516 Member
    The only person that knows I am trying to lose weight is my husband. Most of the people I know are heavier than I am and have always said things like "you are so skinny" 'eat a donut" . Perhaps compared to them, I am skinny. I don't care, I am not under weight and I eat very well. I also workout. So, just continue your wonderful journey and be your best, healthiest you.
  • OddDitty
    OddDitty Posts: 248 Member
    GoodLardy wrote: »
    I typed this out once and it disappeared, sorry if it’s repost. My goal weight has been criticized three times this week. I want to weigh in the 130’s. I am 5’4”. One person goal weight is much higher than mine at same height, one said I should be satisfied at 150 even though they are 135 at 5’7’. Another said because I have children and am older I should be satisfied w a higher weight. I feel like that is selling myself short. Do they want me to stay fat ? And for what reason? They said not when I asked, just said 130s is too low and skinny. Grrr!

    Well hon, 140 isn't fat, depending on your bone structure. HAVING SAID THAT you seem to have a realistic goal at 130. If people have issues with that, then its on them, not you. Unless your doctor tells you that's too light, then you don't need to worry. Five-four is average height and women in that group generally weigh between 115-135 (according to one report I read). So no worries! You focus on your goal and good luck to you! :)
  • GoodLardy
    GoodLardy Posts: 163 Member
    edited September 2018
    OP has me on her side until she said she felt "fat"...Are the people you are saying fat at 150 weighing or more than that? Is this on here or to your friends? I don't think I am fat, but that is my opinion. Weigh whatever you want, but don't put down a number.


    I am 210, not 150. The others are saying my goal should be 150, where in a later post I said I did not feel my healthiest at that weight when I was there before . Sorry if that wasn’t clear.
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