The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

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  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,179 Member
    Babies are a blessing. What a sweet face. I hope he is feeling so much better now. I ate WAY too much this weekend but I am still trying to get over my sugar addiction without the wine in the mix anymore. Yikes, it is hard. Anyway, tomorrow is a new day. I will do better. :)
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,738 Member
    @73CL350 What a cutie pie!
    @whitpauly I know what you mean. My brain is like yours. Cannot moderate to save itself. We are wired differently. I sometimes mourn that, but I also know that life will and is sweeter without any fog. I’m happy you’re at peace. Xo
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,738 Member
    JenT304 wrote: »
    @salleewins wow, that was totally inspirational. I can see myself in so much of what you said, especially the part about being on auto pilot as you drive into the liquor store parking lot after telling yourself all day you will not drink. I have learned so much from every one of the comments on these boards. It has truly changed my life for the better. Here it is, Friday night and I am home drinking my tea and getting ready to read a book. My mind is feeling sharper every day. I am feeling so much more peaceful than I have in a long time.

    Thanks again, Jen! This board is just what I needed these past 82 days AF. I don’t have any worries expressing my inner thoughts because I know that everyone on here is on the same journey and so incredibly supportive. Xo
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,738 Member
    I just wanted to pop in and celebrate day 365 of living alcohol free!

    What a beautiful anniversary to celebrate! Congrats!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,738 Member
    fdhunt1 wrote: »
    73CL350: My wife & I have your little guy in our thoughts and prayers. No matter how stressful it gets stay AF for him.
    Wrapping up day 15 for me and hanging in there. Hard to be a Packers fan and not drink these days. And after checking the balance in my 401K this week, WOW - double whammy! But I'm sticking to my guns - no booze.

    Hope the Packers won. Congrats on 15 days!
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 898 Member
    whitpauly wrote: »
    I was just thinking about how some people can drink alcohol moderately and not go all crazy,just weird to me that I can't and go hog wild,not missing it just thinking about how different I am

    From what I've learned from Craig Beck & others, you're NOT that different!! Most people who drink an addictive substance become addicted & according to Craig Beck THAT is normal!! SO, just for the record YOU are normal!! I think that those who can truly moderate, which is one daily drink for women & two for men according to people who study the subject (actual moderation isn't what WE decide is ok for us. That is just a trick we play to keep doin' what we're doin' & deny the harm we're actually doin').

    Addiction has different levels. The common idea for many people of someone who is a problem drinker/alcoholic is someone who has a lot of consequences from their drinking or the skid row bum. That may be the end result of a drinking career for some, but there are a lot of variations in between. From what I've learned, it is when a person attempts to stop drinking that will be the indicator of an actual drinking problem. If there is any level of difficulty stopping the behavior, guess what? There's likely a problem.

    Those who can truly moderate are the exception and there are those who do not have an issue doing it. Then there are others who spend a lot of time planning, plotting, & strategizing to drink according to what they want moderation to be for them. For instance, one "strategy" is to drink a glass of water in between alcoholic drinks. WELL, if that is the plan & you are a woman who is "planning" to drink moderately you only get ONE standard glass of alcohol per day, so there should be no need to plan, plot or strategize....if you are drinking a glass of water in between drink(s), you have already gone past the point of moderation unless you plan on splitting your 5 oz glass of wine for eg into increments & have a glass of water in between those increments totalling a 5 oz glass & lots of water in between. Does anyone get my point here??

    I think I am moving past the point of envying those who can drink moderately cause I have discovered it wasn't the taste of wine as much as the buzz of the wine that had me wanting it, SO what is there for me to envy when someone has a 5 oz glass of wine...if they are drinking it the way they "should" by savoring & really enjoying that one glass...s-l-o-w-l-y, there will be no buzz to follow!! LOL I am just so absolutely convinced that there is NO benefit to drinking alcohol that there really is nothing for me to envy!! THAT is a really good feeling!!!

    Btw @RubyRed427 alcohol isn't part of your diet anymore so I think you spoke your truth. That may not be what motivated you but you can share that part later if anyone of your hubby's family broach the subject at some point. :):) You GO girl!!!

  • joha5603
    joha5603 Posts: 102 Member
    RubyRed427 wrote: »
    One decision I made was not to smoke a joint. My friend actually brought it for me saying since I’m not drinking anymore, I could get high and have fun. I decided I didn’t want to trade one drug for another. I’m content with my decisions.
    ... I live in an area where there is A LOT of weed and while I've abstained for many years (after many decades of use), I've considered dabbling again.... but then the thought occurred to me: WHY? It's obvious to me that I'm looking for a small chemical/head change to replace my beloved beer ... but WHY? So, I'm not going that route. I'm going to sit in this mildly uncomfortable (yet sober) space and still examining what it is I really need.
  • joha5603
    joha5603 Posts: 102 Member
    Thanks, @lorrainequiche59 ... I don't know if I'm seeking feedback or just venting either! And yes, I'm confused, but I feel even that state is a good and healthy one. At the moment all I can commit to is "I'm kinda off the sauce these days" -- and luckily, my friends find humor with and understand that! (Many of them admit to problems themselves and I agree and can see them clearly.) I will definitely check out CB and others. Also, off-topic but related, it is so weird how alcohol is steeped so deeply in our lives. It seems like now that I've decided to have a break with it (however long-term or temporary), IT IS EVERYWHERE. In the meantime, in a sober state, I'm psyched to be prepping for a long hike on Sunday! 10 miles in the Trinity Alps. :)
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 3,738 Member
    Hi friends, today I’m having a pity party- not sure why but I feel like I’m not able to have as much fun at social events without drinking. A work happy hour is tomorrow and last time I went, I drank a bunch and I continued drinking at home afterwards. I, of course, do not wish for that life anymore. But sometimes a glass of wine would hit the spot. Anyway, I just dont feel like going tomorrow, so I won’t.

    On Friday, friends are having a beer/wine and chili night. Once again, I just dont feel like going. It’s completely in my head that I wont have fun or will be jealous of the others toasting their Friday night after a hard week. I dont really need feed back or a pep talk, just saying that my mind is feeling depressed today. Most days that is not the case- I am so happy I dont drink anymore. Day 87 AF today- I know that I will feel better and better as time passes; I wonder how long it takes for the brain to adjust to being AF and not feeling that you’re missing out on fun things.

    For you successful sober folks, how long did it take after you quit until you were finally accepting of your decisions and not feeling like you are missing out? A few months, a year? Never?

    @kpk54 Great quote!
    @joha5603 I understand how you’re feeling totally. You’re not quite ready to quit and don’t feel you need to at this time. I think just listen to your gut; if you abstain MOST of the time and indulge once in awhile, I dont see that harm. It all depends on your goals - no judgment here. I still wish I could moderate, but now that ship has long passed for me.
    @lorrainequiche59 I love your reflections on Oct. 15th. You are sensible and wise. Xo
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 898 Member
    @RubyRed427 <3:'(<3 Sorry you're blue today....
  • 73CL350
    73CL350 Posts: 259 Member
    ^^ I love this!

    A night at the bar would cost the same as a massage.
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,311 Member
    It is almost 9 months AF and I am sorry here and there that I can't stop myself once I would have a drink, if I did. I would like a glass of wine, but my heart knows it would never be just one. I have had to fight to get to this point at times and don't know when it became easier anymore overall anymore. One drink for me may lead to daily drinking and then round the clock drinking and we know the negatives that go with it.....like for me,the promises that I would stop to my kids and yet failing at it some more, I remember the disappointment/anger in my son's voice when he asked how I was doing after I had said I would stop and I told him I was trying, but struggling at that point. That is something I will never forget. Anyways. I am just trying to share partly how I have reigned this in so far. I was used to finding new activities and buddies before if I needed to as I changed, so I had to do this, once I quit drinking, again and it has been hard and I am not totally there, but it is worth it. When I stopped smoking, I hung out less and less with those who smoked (if you smoke, please I don't mean to offend--there are serious health issues in my family with smoking), when I got divorced I hung out less with couples, when I lost my son, something most anyone who hasn't gone through and find it hard to relate to me.... I have had to move on, the lady I love, but wants to eat all the junk she can get her hands on and feels uncomfortable if I order a healthy lunch for breakfast, for instance, we have had to limit getting together or do something we both enjoy doing more together. I have to meet up with those with like minded goals the most. I haven't ditched most people unless they have been abusive and I just overlooked it before, but now I won't etc., just changed my priorities and what I want to do. I want to work out, eat right most of the time, enjoy my family and whatever I am supposed to do here with the time I have left. I had to stop celebrating birthdays with a friend and our birthdays are in the same month together. She wants cake and the like and eating cake on my birthday makes me depressed. She is not happy about it, but she won't change and then it is not that enjoyable anymore. I offered for us to do another non-food activity instead.....So far no progress... One day and change at a time. I would like to keep the progress I have made so far and hope that I do. One thing I want to do is plan social activities more myself. I am planning a backyard fire for real soon. I need to burn up some wood and I won't plan drinking into it. Hope the weather will be nice enough for a bit longer.... I need more memories that I am totally proud of. I hope the best for all of us.
  • joha5603
    joha5603 Posts: 102 Member
    I'm the only one who reads "as f**k" every time I see AF? He he he! Good morning, all. :)
  • whitpauly
    whitpauly Posts: 1,483 Member
    joha5603 wrote: »
    I'm the only one who reads "as f**k" every time I see AF? He he he! Good morning, all. :)

    Sometimes haha :D@salleewins ,that's a great post and I understand getting rid of the old friends,surroundings,etc from the drink days,I get it and do it but sometimes it feels like I've eliminated almost everything! Like I'm scared to go anywhere cuz I might be tempted,also I can't be so strict on myself with smoking and the eating cuz I'm just not "there" yet with those things I guess,have a great day all! <3